I do not own Adele nor do I own her song "Someone Like You. And I do not own Big Time Rush.
I heard that you're settled down
That you found a girl and you're married now.
I heard that your dreams came true.
Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you
Years of being on and off again left us at odds. We couldn't stay together too long or else we'd feel too comfortable and too suffocated. Being off gave us a way to breathe and to know that we both could fall back on each other in times of need. That was the problem. Too much need.
Months later I lost my passion for acting. I still wanted to be in the business but not in front of the camera. I no longer wanted attention unless it was coming from him. He met someone new and god damn she was beautiful. They got serious really fast and I knew I no longer had a place at the Palm Woods.
So I left. I took my father's advice and went to college for film. I had an interest in film so I figured it couldn't hurt to delve more into it. By the time I had actually gotten settled into college and began my classes I felt content. I felt like I was okay. Jo had already gone back to the Palm Woods and had even talked about coming out to NYU with me and studying there.
It wasn't until one night that she called me and I felt my whole plan go down under.
"Camille?" Jo's voice said coming in a bit cautiously.
"Yeah? What's going on?" I asked on high alert.
"He got married. He went to the Justice of the Peace and got married. We didn't know. He called it a spur of the moment type thing."
"Wait, Logan got married? To who?"
"Remember the girl he was with when you first left? He married her."
I nodded even though she couldn't see me through the phone. I didn't trust myself not to scream at her words. Although it wasn't like Logan to do something like this I couldn't help but think that this was true. I was right the new girl stole his heart. It was definitely apparent now that she had something I wasn't able to give Logan.
Old friend, why are you so shy?
Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light.
I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over
I don't remember buying my ticket I just remember the plane ride back to LA. It was full of insecurities and I wondered just what the hell I was actually doing. Why was I coming back? This was no longer my life and he was no longer my love. Yet, he was. He would always be my love.
When I got to the Palm Woods, I saw him immediately. I smiled to myself knowing that I really didn't have to look for him. He was just there. He sat in the lobby looking through a textbook. No doubt studying for school. He didn't look up as I approached and he didn't seem to noticed me as I sat down. I frowned a bit but didn't blow my composure completely. It's not like I told anyone about this trip home.
"Logan?" I said cautiously.
He looked up and around before his eyes settled on mine. I smiled as his eyes widened trying to take my appearance in.
"Camille?" He said shocked.
"Congratulations. I heard you're married now."
"Uh, yeah. Did you come here all the way to tell me this?" He said trying not to be shocked about my hearing of his news.
"No, I was homesick. So, I decided why not visit?" I said lying through my teeth and I silently prayed that he would no I was lying. I did come here for him. He needed to know that for me this just wasn't over.
Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
"I'll remember", you said,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead.
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,
Yeah.
He didn't notice. He simply smiled. And i couldn't help but smile back. I really missed those luscious dimples of his. Maybe it was time to forget about him. I mean it's been almost 2 years since we've been together. He's obviously forgotten about me.
We said our goodbyes and I managed to get myself over to Jo's apartment. She opened the door shocked just as Logan had been.
"Camille?" She said hugging me.
"Hey Jo." I said as I hugged her back and entered her place.
"Did you see Logan?" She asked immediately. She was not going to let this go that easily.
"I did. And he's happy. And if he's alright then I guess so am I. Sometimes love lasts and other times it ends up in hurt. But I'm okay." Another lie through my teeth. I should've just stuck with acting.
You know how the time flies
Only yesterday it was the time of our lives
We were born and raised
In a summer haze
Bound by the surprise of our glory days
I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over, yeah.
They ended up having a welcome back party for me. Even though I wasn't staying they still thought it would be a good idea to catch up. So the old gang and I sat in Jo's apartment along with Logan's wife Mandy and caught up.
I managed not to stare at the newlyweds as they sat cozily on Jo's couch. They didn't show too much PDA and for that I was glad. If they did I would've broken down right then and there.
"God, it's been forever since all of us have been together. I mean we all went our seperate ways. " Kendall said after recapping yet another memory of mischief we had years ago.
"I know, it's like we're grown up now. We're different then before but at the same time it's like we're not." Logan added.
I looked at him and I felt my heart explode. I kept my breathing even as I realized that it really was different. Logan was not mine anymore and he hadn't been for a very long time.
I looked around the room and everyone was coupled up. James with Annie, Carlos with Stephanie and Of course Kendall with Jo who had somehow managed to survive being apart for so long.
Logan and I weren't like them. We were strong but not unbreakable. All this time it had seemed to me that we were still teenagers not 20 year olds just scratching the surface of life.
For me it's still not over. I'm still that sixteen year old girl in love. Only now it's completely one-sided.
Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
"I'll remember", you said,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead.
Nothing compares
No worries or cares
Regrets and mistakes
They are memories made.
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?
I was beyond disgusted with myself. What did i come here for? Did I really think I could get him back when it was so obvious Mandy already had him on lock?
All my memories of Logan are in the past now just like our love. It wasn't normal nor was it dysfunctional but it was us. That's what I loved. We were different yet so excepting of each other.
Now when I look at it. I owe him that much. I owe all of us that much. It hurts but we all have to make sacrifices and because I loved them all I would make them.
I wanted to plead with Logan and ask him not to forget me but I couldn't because I think he already did. When he smiled at Mandy it was a different smile and look then what he had ever given me. He truly loved her and wasn't planning on leaving her.
It was a slap in the face. But I needed to accept it.
Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
"I'll remember", you said,
Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead.
Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
"I'll remember", you said,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead.
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead.
After I had left Jo did come to New York. She of course brought Kendall along. They were still in love and Logan was still married. It hurt still but it was healing. I was going to be okay. Kendall and Jo rented an apartment right down the street from me and I saw them often. James, Carlos, and Logan did visit sometimes too along with their significant others.
One visit I will always remember. We were alone. I was in my kitchen fixing up some snacks for everyone and Logan had offered to help. We were 22 now. He had been married for two years.
"Camille? You know I didn't forget you right?" He said out of the blue.
I looked at him that night and I smiled. It wasn't a hopeful smile, it was just a smile of understanding.
"Okay." I said trying to get the brownies out of the tray.
"I didn't forget you and I but I had to let go. But you have to remember that I learned so much from you."
"Like what?"
"Like it's okay to love someone back. It's okay to give yourself up to a person and have trust in yourself."
"Thank you." I said to him
"For what?"
"Everything."
And with that we took one last look at each other before going back to my living room to see the others.
"Yay, food!" Carlos said snatching the brownies from me.
I giggled as I watched him stuff three in his mouth. I walked over to the couch and sat watching my friends both old and new. My eyes stopped at Logan and I smiled. He didn't forget. It just didn't last.
I felt a pair of arms wrap strongly around me and a chaste kiss was placed on my cheek. I looked into the blue eyes of my boyfriend and smiled. Leaning back into his embrace I watched as the boys of BTR tackled one another for brownies.
I was content. Sometimes it last in love but sometimes it hurts instead. Yet, I still managed to find someone just as accepting and caring for me as Logan was.
This is seriously long overdue but I finally found time to type this. First of all Thank God Rachel (2 kool 2 spell 'kool' right) is alive. I love you Rachel and even if you don't me or a lot of your silent readers on here just know that we care and will always care about you.
I will be finishing up We are What we Experience by the end of October. So get ready to read the end. I'm still working out some glitches and I'm having tremendous trouble logging onto Fanfiction on my phone. Anyway, a lot of people asked for a sequel to my previous songfic/one shot so here it is.
I felt this song was such a good continuation to the story. So enjoy and please review!
