Inspired by some of my favourite quotes from the compilation of them "Now Panic and Freak Out", " one of the series of quote books from the Keep Calm phenomenon.
"We are not retreating, we are advancing in another direction." - Douglas MacArthur
The Justice League, the world's finest, the world's bravest and boldest, the unstoppable force of truth, justice, and morality. This incredible force was gathered in a battle formation, outside a mountain in Happy Harbour. Only, instead of looking proud, and grand, and heroic; they looked wet, and cold, and defeated. They had been challenged to a snowball fight by the Team. And had promptly gotten their butts kicked. Desperate for a plan that would succeed, they turned to their greatest, stragegist, tactician and leader, even if he was only a part-timer.
"Alright Batman, what's the plan." A tired Green Arrow asked trying to gather the last of his willpower. There was a moment's pause before a response came.
"We move into the forest, away from their base, spread out, make ourselves harder to find." The Dark Knight spoke with his usual monotone.
There were murmurings and glances shared among the assembled heroes, but it was the Emerald Archer who again voiced their collective thoughts.
"We retreat and hide?" His flat tone said it all. But he was talking to the Goddamn Batman, who had a reply for everything.
"We are not retreating, we are advancing in another direction."
Watching via surveillance from inside the cave as the League followed Batman's orders, the team just laughed.
"In the Soviet Army in takes more courage to retreat than advance." - Joeseph Stalin
"Right, our intelligence suggests that there are six hundred hired henchmen blocking our way, no guns, but many other knives, clubs and the like. I am... unsure if we can take out one hundred henchmen each..." Aqualad summed up the team's reconnaissance of the hideout Batman had assigned them to take down.
"You think we shouldn't attempt such a big challenge?" Miss Martian asked her frown evident in her voice.
"Um, guys, whilst I have heard the 'err on the side of caution' phrase, there is no survival guide for erring on either side of Batman..." Robin interjected.
The team glanced at each other, that was all it took for Aqualad to voice the collective decision.
"Young Justice... GO!"
One week later, at the the mass debriefing being held on the Watchtower, with both the League and the Team present. "And the apprehension of the crime boss was only made possible by the Team, taking down six-hundred henchmen between them." Batman finished. A moment's pause for that information to sink in, before the entire League broke into cheers and applause for their young heroes, earning a barely there smile from even The Batman.
"The purpose of life is too fight maturity" - Dick Werthimer
A batarang to the left, a fist to the right, and two thugs down. Kick behind, right in the crotch, swing round hit another in the side of the head...
"Behind you, kid!" throw yourself forward, into a roll, come up facing the thug, batarang hitting them in the temple as you stand. That's it, all of those literal Jokers down.
"Cheers, Dick" Terry thanked the voice through his comm, knowing the Nightwing was probably lounging in the batcave – with his feet on the console – watching the sensory feeds from the Batsuit.
"Just making sure everything remains asterous" was the cheery reply.
"What?"
"You heard me, McGinnis."
"I heard you, but not necessarily English..."
"Aster, opposite of disaster, I created that one back when I was Robin, didn't you hear it?"
"No, heard a worrying many other things about your days as the Troll Wonder. Like yesterday for example..."
Laughter,
"Let me tell you something Terry, don't listen to what anyone says - not the politicians, not the scientists, not the philosophers, not the villains nor the heroes – on the major questions. Just remember. The purpose of life is too fight maturity."
"The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on." - Robert Bloch
The team stood in the centre of the cave's main room, four of them glaring at a bird.
"Did you really feel the need to rig the oven with spring launched pink paint?" M'gann started
"And the filling of the swimming pool with gellatin mix was not as amusing as you may have found it." Kaldur admonished.
Connor just growled, wearing a plain blue t-shirt he'd had to travel back to his room at the Kent farm to get, all of his usual shirts had been coated in pink powder by the troll wonder. The only reason Artemis wasn't currently slinging arrow after arrow at the younger boy was the gargantuan task she faced of removing all the glitter from her hair.
Wally, the only one not glaring at Robin, smirked at the dark-haired boy instead.
"Good thing I'm smarter than you boy blunder, your primitive batglue trap was no match for me!"
The team watched the boy wonder, waiting for his reaction, a collective, but subtle feeling of dread spreading round when all that they got was an evil smirk.
"Kid Flash, briefing room now." Batman barked at into the living room the teens were all seated in, Wally looked slightly panicked, but complied anyway. The rest of the team, looked at each other wondering why on earth KF had been summoned by Gotham's Knight. Nobody saw Dick smirk from behind the book he was reading. Seconds after Wally had left with Batman, he got up, muttering something about needing a drink, but actually sneaking up to wait outside the briefing room door where he could listen without being seen.
"Kid Flash. Your behaviour in the cave the other day was unacceptable. You will clean the cave completely by the end of today." he heard Bruce growl at a flustered Wally,
"But.. but... I didn't do anything Mr. Batman, sir, that was..." the red head started, but trailed off almost immediately under the power of an infamous batglare. Dick managed to bite back a laugh, and snuck off before he was caught.
