First this is a work of fiction… I own nothing its all ARROW and DC comics. I want to than RENNIE75 for her beta skills. I really appreciate it. She's been great. Also, this is shorter than normal. Works been crazy and I'm going out of town for a work thing and I wanted to give you a little something so here you go.

OLIVER

He slowly made his way down the steps of the foundry noticing the silence most of all. He wondered if he would ever again hear the click of keys that went along with the bright colored nails and the blond ponytail, reminding him that she was there. His own little ray of light in the darkness, but that was just it, she was actually covered in darkness herself and he didn't even know because she never showed it. She came from something so dark he couldn't even understand and yet she was so bright and optimistic. It made him truly ashamed to have been so self-pitying. She had obviously been through just as much as he had and yet she didn't walk around like the world owed her, she didn't blame anyone. She still believed people were theoretically good and could be saved.

He finally found himself in front of her computer station and there was the letter. He was torn in two, he wanted to read what she had to say so he could find out what he needed to do to right the wrongs between them, but he also knew that what he read might very well be the last words he ever heard from her. He slowly reached out his hands, surprised to realize that they were slightly shaking, and as picked up the letter and opened it. Sitting down in the seat that he had come to think of as hers and only hers, he took a deep breath and started to read.

Dear Oliver,

I'm sorry that this is how I had to say goodbye to you, but I honestly just couldn't risk you bullying me into staying around any longer. At this point, I don't feel that you need me, at least not the way that things have been going lately.

When you read this, I'm sure you'll have read the article about me in the paper. I know it will probably come as a shock to you that my past was as bleak as it was. It took me a lot of years to get past everything I went through and everything that was done to me. I know what it's like to live in darkness Oliver. I mean that in every way possible. It's why I never pressed you to talk about your experiences. Some things just aren't meant to be relived. I will tell you, though, that I think you need to talk to someone. I never started healing until I finally talked to someone about everything that happened to me. You just need to relieve yourself of the burden. There's a point when it gets too heavy and it starts to weigh you down and you have to choose if you are going to sink or swim. Right now Oliver, you are choosing to sink. You are choosing to live in the past and stay there rather than move on and try to find a future that can make you happy and I honestly can't bear to watch it any more. It's slowly tearing me apart and it's pulling me back towards a darkness I promised I would never ever sink into again.

Oliver, when we started this I only promised to stay until we found Walter, but along the way, I started to see all the good you were doing and I realized that together we could make a difference. I was proud of the changes we were making in this city. I wanted nothing more than to be a part of something that I truly believed in, but over the past few months things have changed. I have always tried to be supportive of you even when it hurt me. I wanted you to be happy and I, out of everyone know how hard it can be to find true happiness, especially when you have lived in the darkness.

When everything happened in Russia, you came back and said things to me that led me to believe that you cared for me in a way that mirrored my own feelings for you. I understood your hesitance in acting on those feelings because it can be hard to heal and be in a relationship at the same time or that is what I told myself. I never realized that I still can be naïve even after everything I have been through or maybe there is something about you that makes you a blind spot for me. I'm still not sure what it is, but when Sara came back and I accidently saw the video of you two in the foundry, I realized that the words you said to me after Russia were nothing more than words. Although I was disappointed that you didn't feel the same way that didn't hurt half as much as the fact that you felt the need to basically play me and lead me on rather than treat me with the respect that I feel that I have always shown you and earned from you. I am not jealous of you and Sara, if she makes you happy then I wish you happiness. Everyone deserves to find that one person that makes them happy, but when you look in the mirror every day Oliver can you truly say you are happy. When you get with her every night are you happy? Are you really happy living in the past with her?

I have never asked you for much, Oliver, but I deserve more than what you have given me. I deserve your respect and loyalty and you have treated me with nothing but disrespect and even lies at times. The past few months have gotten to be more than I can handle. When I called you about Dig being in trouble the other night, I wasn't sure you would even bother to show up. That's how little I trust you anymore. I learned a long time ago that people like you and I have to find their own way out of the darkness. They either choose to let go of the past or they choose to hold on with both hands and let it consume them. I will not let your darkness consume me, Oliver. I worked so hard to let go of my past. You can do the same thing if you are willing and I am willing to help you, but you have to want to and right now you and Sara together are never going to let go of the past. If that's what you want then I wish you the best, but I can't be part of it. I will not go down with you. I clawed my way back from something so black and so terrifying that I sometimes wondered if I would ever survive. I will not let your need to live in the past undo everything I have overcome.

If that makes me selfish, then I guess I will have to live with that. I have spent the past 2 years giving you everything I have without asking for anything in return. I have given up my job, my reputation, my friends, and any form of social life. I have done everything you've asked of me, but I will not take this final step with you, Oliver, no matter how much I love you.

Good luck Oliver. I wish you the best. Please be safe. A world without you in it is a much darker place for me and everyone around you. No matter what you believe.

Love,

Felicity

P.S. Please think about telling Thea, the reporters original story that Diggle gave you proves that the information is out there. It is just a matter of time. It is her life. She has a right to know the truth. It will be better coming from you than anyone else.

He stared at the letter after reading it another three times, realizing there were tears slowly trailing down his face. He didn't bother to wipe them away. He realized he was still holding the flash drive that Diggle had given him so he thought he might has well get all his reading in for the night. He still needed a few minutes to process all that she had said in the letter. He plugged the flash drive into her system and quickly read through the reporter's original story realizing that Felicity had offered herself up in place of Thea finding out about her paternity. She was right he needed to tell Thea the truth, but Felicity was right about so much more than that one thing.

He hadn't treated her the way she deserved to be treated. He had taken her for granted. He had assumed that she was some naïve girl that would never understand him and although he loved how bright her light was; he always pushed it far enough away because he thought he would taint it. He never even bothered to be a good enough friend to find out about her past. He never asked what her childhood was like. He had 5 years of hell, she had an entire childhood. She had never truly had anyone that cared about her, but she still wore her heart on her sleeve. She still loved unconditionally. She was truly the most amazing woman he had ever met and he had been so blinded by his self-pity that he didn't bother to find out.

He sat and thought about everything he had learned in the past few hours and how he could go about fixing it. Was it even fixable? He truly was a self-absorbed bastard. He came back from the island thinking he had changed and in some ways he had, but in others he was still the same spoiled child who put himself first and never thought about how his actions affected others. He honestly thought that Felicity would be there with him until he got his act together, until his life was a little safer, then they could have a relationship that she deserved. What did that say about him? That he was only thinking about himself. He wasn't thinking about Sara? Yes she was still in a dark place, but she was holding on to him because she needed someone to keep her above water and he clearly wasn't the person to do that. He was just using her until things were better, safer, so he could be with who he really wanted to be with. And to expect Felicity to wait until he got to that point? How could he ever think that she would be that selfless? How could he be that selfish? Both women were amazing in their own right. Sara was still trying to find her way after coming back from the dead and Felicity well she was honestly his everything and he had basically put her on a shelf and expected her to sit there until he got around to her. Yeah he definitely hadn't changed in some aspects and he really was ashamed of himself.

He considered his past and future and where he wanted to be and where it looked like he was going and realized that both Diggle and Felicity were right. He was living in the past and if he didn't do something about it now he was going to end up drowning in the past and losing everything he had worked so hard for since he had come back from that god forsaken island. He knew he loved Sara, but he wasn't in love with her and he needed to let her go before the two of them destroyed each other. They both had different views on how to live their lives and how to fight injustice and he realized that because of the guilt he felt towards her, he kept going along with her way every time. It had to end. He had to move forward and that meant he needed to have a long talk with Sara.

The door to the foundry opened, bringing him out of out of his musings. He looked up to see Dig walking down the steps.

"You do realize you've been here all day don't you?" He asked sounding a bit worried.

"No, I guess time got away from me. You and Felicity have given me a lot to think about." He replied honestly with a sigh.

"Well the fact that you're thinking about it is good. Did you come to any conclusions?" Dig asked.

"Quite a few, but I need to talk to some people first. Although I do realize that I owe you an apology just as much as anyone. I came back from the island with a mission. To be better than my father. To right his wrongs and somewhere along the line it seems I have lost my way and in losing my way I have lost one of the most important people in my life and have come close to losing another. I hope that you will give me time to prove that I deserve your friendship because I am aware that since I got back I have not been a good friend to anyone. I have let guilt weigh my every decision and I realize that even though I thought I came back a better man and in some ways I may have. I am still self-absorbed and self-pitying. I put my needs first most times. You and Felicity had my back more times than I can count and when Sara came back I threw all that away because I felt guilty and responsible for everything that happened to her. I, I have a lot to make up for to you and Felicity. I'm going to try to start with you because honestly I don't even know where to start with Felicity." He tried to explain.

"Oliver, I appreciate the sentiment, and I truly hope you mean it, but the thing is you are great with words. This time I need to see action." Diggle explained trying not to be too harsh. He wanted Oliver to succeed. He knew how hard it was to adjust when you came back to what was considered the real world, but he wasn't giving him any more leeway. It was time for him to grow up and face the consequences of his actions. Felicity leaving might be just the kick in the ass he needed. Hopefully it wouldn't be too late to bring Felicity back.