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Now for the moment you've all been waiting for, the rankings on the kink-o-meter are: In eighth place . . . drum roll please . . . Yoji! (Why is everybody staring at me? Sorry Yoji you lost out because of that lame position.) In seventh place we have (Long dramatic pause) Ken! (Hey! Where are Omi and Nagi at?! Surely they're less kinky than us!)

Sorry Ken . . . In sixth we have Nagi. (Nagi throws a smirk over in Ken's direction) In fifth place we have Aya. (Everyone stares . . . What made him fifth and over Yoji?)

In fourth, this was a very hard decision but because of the one line margin, is Omi. (Everyone claps as Yoji heads over and whispers "Congratulations kid, I didn't know you had it in you") The group takes a glance at the remaining three and sweat drops. Where was I . . . In third place we have Brad! (Hmmm Brad?)

In second place we have Schuldig! (Ken yells "It figures!" Hey wait a minute you're telling me Farfarello. . ." Right you are Ken! Now for the "King of Kink" give a big round of applause for Farfarello! (Clapping is heard) What do you have to say about your accomplishment? "I did it to hurt God!" Everyone sweat drops as he is handed his prize; the Golden Dildo. Ken cringes "I didn't want to win that!" Well you didn't Ken so behave now!

Check you answers against the key and who ever you matched with the most, is your guy.

Answer Key: Your one true love!

Aya: This is your man if you answered…

01. H (Well . . . Lights! Cameras! Action! . . . Popcorn anyone?)

02. D. (He likes the feel of leather. He, he, he)

03. B (Oh you lucky thing you!)

04. G (Open wide! Dr. Aya needs to check your temperature)

05. G (A fitting dessert for this fine man! Anyone for seconds?)

06. C (This man likes his stuff hot! ^_~)

07. H (Oh…didn't see that one did you! I wonder who got Aya's coat? "WHAT! My coat!? . . . Shin ii!")

08. A (Aya's secret fantasy . . . Will you wear Black or Red high heels?)

09. F (I see where this relationship is heading . . .)

10. B (Aya . . . Gooey chocolate . . . chest straddling… what more could you ask for?)

11. A (You go Girlfriend! Or Boyfriend! ^o^)

12. H (Scream? Is that a good or a bad thing?)

13. E (Buzz . . . Need more batteries?)

14. G (It's that hypnotizing gaze he gives you.)

15. A (Hell Yeah! Maybe even rounds 8, 9,10,13etc…)

Lucky you! I bet you never knew what really lied beneath that cold, icy exterior now did you? Aya may not be the kinkiest of them all, but he can certainly hold his own with the big boys. ^_^

Positive side: If you got Aya, be prepared for foot ravishing, free doctor check ups and undying devotion to your needs. I see a happy and smooth relationship if you're willing to commit. Besides he seems to be a bit of a closet softy if you know what I mean. ~_^ Also if you happen to look like his sister, brownie points for you!

Negative side: You may become broke over your new found Caramel addiction. Also Aya seems to be a bit possessive over the things he loves, so if you're not willing to stay for the long run, give Yoji a call.

Brad Crawford: Do I hear wedding bells anyone? Damn! It's not him!

01. G (Brad you've been a Naughty Boy! Detention after school for you in my private office!)

02. F (They're from his own personal collection, and let me tell you he has plenty. O_o)

03. E (The best thing to eat with milk is cookies, if you catch my drift ^_^)

04. B (Birthday present . . . Birthday suit . . . both go hand in hand don't you agree?)

05. C. (Yummy! With his tall build you'll be quite busy)

06. B (Oh the things you can do . . .)

07. A (Will Omi be driving? He he, he . . .)

08. G (Can I use that in place of the ice cube?)

09. A (Bradley, You've been a Bad, bad boy . . .)

10. D (Did he find all the strawberries? Of course!)

11. D (Cough, Cough. . . Good Luck! You'll need it!)

12. E (Ahh what a lovely sound, its music to my ears)

13. H ( He keeps going, and going, etc . . .)

14. H (Congratulations!)

15. E (Only my weekly "Booty call", how about daily?)

The triple C's: Calm, Cool and Collected. . . These things all fly out the window when you're under the sheets with this Hotty! Definitely has an affinity for the kinky, plus you'll never run out of ideas with him around.

Positive side: If you were lucky enough to get Crawford you'll never need to worry about buying Viagra! Stopping him is like stopping a train. (~o^) He's also open-minded and knows how to please. What a wonderful catch! Better hold on tight!

Negative side: For all you conservative types this may not be good news for you._; Brad needs a partner who can keep up with his needs and with him you'll never know what the future may hold. . .



Omi: Ahh, you got sweet, wonderful, little Omi-kins. ^o^; That's what you think (he, he, he)

01. B (Which seven? Count me in! ~_~)

02. B (He has such a gentle touch)

03. A (He may even tickle your nose with the right mood. O_o)

04. E (Take it off baby! Here's a $20)

05. D (A little bit of warm honey goes a long way!)

06. H (What flavor will you use? Pina Colada?)

07. C (Omi! My, my…what daddy doesn't know won't hurt him will it?)

08. F (Omi-daddy, will you punish me for being a bad girl/boy?)

09. E (Lick, lick, lick, etc… You know you like this!)

10. A (A little champagne with those strawberries? (Raises eye brow)

11. E (I didn't say who's legs were in the air now did I?)

12. F (I'd rather have Omi-kun than Tony the Tiger any day!)

13. F (Need an oil and lube job? Call Omi! He works day and night!)

14. D (Well Persia's desk should answer this one. . .)

15. C (He'll be back baby! Yes he will!)

Lovable, adorable and sweetly innocent, that's what you thought! Ha! He's all these things by day, but when night falls watch out! He's one hot little stud muffin ready for the taking. He's a good balance of kink and romance and being only 17 he's at the sexual prime of his life!

Positive side: You can always count on Omi to get some. He'll be at your beck and call, day or night! His quiet demeanor will arouse your protective nature of this boy but don't be fooled, he can hold his own and he'll never disappoint you in the bedroom!

Negative side: He has one? Well not Omi but his life style may cause a strain in your relationship. His enemies are known to cause problems and can be detrimental to your health. You may not live to see this to the end, but you can always try! ^_^

Schuldig: Ah, so you're the submissive type . . . Then maybe you should find a new man. . . Outside of work this man likes to be dominated. @_@ (Hey! Wait a minute! I got him. . . Just a sec, let me get my whip!)

01. F (Quit squirming! I'm not done with you yet!)

02. E (Damn it Schu! Did you hide my garter belt again?!)

03. D (Yep! Definitely him, but you don't mind, really . . .)

04. F (Drool! A wonderful sight *^_^*)

05. A (Tangy and tart! Got to love that lemony fresh scent.)

06. F (Bon Appetite! You know you shouldn't talk with your mouth full)

07. D (What!? I wonder how he managed to do that?(Aya is appalled and burns the coat, no wonder he had a new one for the OAV)

08. E (Let me get the shaving cream!)

09. H (This is Schu your talking about right? Hmm…where's the rope?)

10. E (Yummy! I never realized how much I really love strawberries!)

11. B (Schu you kinky devil! I'll get the rope again . . . no blindfold for me)

12. A (Ahh, so you liked that huh? Let's go again!)

13. G (Hey! Stop teasing and get down to business! "Yes! Darling!")

14. E (What in the hell!? "Gentle and Schu?" Now that's a scary thought!)

15. D (Do you take this man? . . . You do! You know this is forever right?)

Everyone's favorite sadistic, mind controlling, orange-haired strudel will be wrapped around your finger in no time. (~_^ ) Kinky? You bet! He's ranked number 2 out of our eight lovely captives.

Positive side: Didn't know there was one. . . His secret soft and passive nature will hypnotize you into believing that he's the only thing you'll ever need. Don't worry, he'll never desert you as long as you're willing to satisfy his desires, but then just think of the rewards. O_o

Negative side: He'll know your every move, so no sneaking around on him! (Damn! No Booty call for me! Sorry Brad. . . Maybe we can work something out later ~_^) Not that you want to, it could be hazardous to your health. About that marriage . . . You thought Aya was bad, well you haven't seen anything yet . . . He was serious about the "till death do you part" you know. O_o

Ken: Sporty, fun and energetic. He really knows how to make a girl/boy squeal! You know he enjoyed it! No matter how much he complained! (Ken is tied up and gagged again so he can't comment on this now.)

01. E (Sister Ruth ring a bell? (Farfarello needs to be restrained at this time.)

02. H (That will shut him up. *-* )

03. H (Ice or no ice?)

04. C (What a purrfect costume!)

05. F (Weiß style? He, he, he, he, he…did you use the same strawberries?)

06. G (CRACK! Let me kiss it and make it feel better. ^o^)

07. B (Shallow or deep, you choose.)

08. C (Left foot yellow, right foot green = nose bleed)

09. C (Ken can I use your claw? It won't hurt…really it wont!)

10. G (I want to . . . Damn! Ran out of chocolate sauce!)

11. H (Can I be first? O_O)

12. G (Ooh Ken I love it when you whisper dirty thoughts in my ear.)

13. B (Gee Ken! Did you think of that all by yourself? (Ken sweatdrops in the background.)

14. B (It's the strawberries I tell you! The strawberries!)

15. B (Just kidding Ken! But you better straighten up that attitude problem!)

All that soccer practice has finally paid off. ~_^ He's a real team player! Ready for action in the bedroom anytime! He's reliable, flexible and not lacking in stamina. Just your typical "kink next door!" What more could you want?

Positive side: Nice body and a firm ass really enhance the visual aesthetics of this fine specimen of man! Ken will rock your world and have you begging for more. Ken may be known for complaining but that will be short lived once you get your claws into him. ~_^

Negative side: Ken may not be as excepting of your kinky habits as some of the other guys (Everyone smiles but Ken) but don't worry with a little blackmail and some gentle persuasion you'll have him eating out of your hands in no time!

Nagi: Angsty and misunderstood, this poor bishi has always gotten the short end of the stick. If they only knew the real you . . . They would see what a great roll in the hay you are!

01. C (Did I mention that I moonlight as a Dominatrix?)

02. A (Darn! Where did I put those keys?)

03. F (After seeing the real you, I can certainly agree . . . ~_^)

04. D (I love a man in uniform!)

05. E (There's no wrong way to eat a Reese's *^o^*)

06. E (He, he, ticklish are we?)

07. G (Getty up cowboy! Woo hoo!)

08. H (The Full Monty anyone?)

09. D (Now you know why he always wore those high neck collars…)

10. F (Did you clean up your plate?)

11. F (How about the shower? (Turns on water)

12. C (Sorry baby! Better luck next time!)

13. A (Let me scrub your back for you! ^_~)

14. F ("Meow! Cattin' around again?" Sorry that was Schu)

15. F (Gotta catch them all . . .oop's wrong show. . ._)

Fun, young and hot, Nagi's got it all! He's pretty versatile in his taste for Kink. After a night with Nagi, this little teen dream will have you under his spell. With a few years of practice you will have him ready and trained in all the right areas. ~_^ Satisfaction guaranteed!

Positive side: He's only 15 and look at him go . . . Imagine what he'll be like at 17! Nagi seems loyal and dependable but I would keep a tight leash on him never the less (He enjoys this kind of control!) His creativity and eagerness to please you will make all your fantasies a reality.

Negative side: At times his mood swings and crabbiness might put a damper on your love making sessions. But nothing that a little Prozac and fine bottle of booze wouldn't cure!

Yoji: I bet you thought 90% of these questions applied to him. ^o^ (Screaming is heard in the back ground "They do! I got ripped!") Read on for the inside scoop of our favorite playboy.

01. D (So you like to watch . . . You're not going to post that tape on the internet are you?)

02. C (Hey Schu! He needs that rope back!)

03. C (Ouch! I better blow on that! ~_~)

04. H (Always be prepared!)

05. B (O_o How did that banana taste?)

06. A (And Schu he needs that back too! . . . A shout is heard in the background "Damn!")

07. E (Taking lessons?)

08. D (I vant to suck your blood! ~^^~)

09. B (Should I wear my heels? (Hey Aya, give those back!)

10. C (Ohh poor Yoji . . . Want a strawberry? (Eats it before he can get it)

11. G (Is that the best you could do? Instead of the pound maybe you should have taken lessons from Brad . . .)

12. D (Scratches behind his ear "That a good boy!" You liked that huh?)

13. C (MT. St. Yoji? That was one powerful eruption!)

14. C (Damn! Sorry Yoji . . . It was the only term left! "But I am forceful! Just in a different way!" O_o)

15. G (How much is that Yoji in the window? Woof! Woof! . . .)

Yoji's the closet kink of the bunch . . . (Hey!) Those emerald puppy dog eyes of his will have you melting in the palm of his hands. But don't be fooled you'll always have the upper hand in this relationship!

Positive side: Experienced, suave and laid back! This smooth talker will get anyone to drop their drawers. Once you hit the sack with him there's no turning back! Yoji's aims to please and he has the means to do so! ~_^

Negative side: His unwillingness to commit may be a problem for some of you. His popularity with the ladies may also put a cramp in your style but you can rest assure that with a couple of scratches behind the ear and a pat there . . . this lap dog will not be straying too far from home.

Farfarello: Sick and twisted take on a new meaning when he's your man. Congratulation! You picked the kinkiest of them all! Enjoy your prize!

01. A (Baaaaby I'm ready and waiting!)

02. G (Chain? What else did you expect?)

03. G (I didn't mention which head . . . ~_^)

04. A (Oui! Oui! That wig really suits you!)

05. H (Come on baby, light my fire!)

06. D (Nuff said. . .)

07. F (Is he still wearing the maid outfit? Kinky!)

08. B (Hmm . . . So that's where he learned it from. . .)

09. G (By the way, I forgot to mention this was his knife O_o)

10. H (Just keep it in your mouth until it gets soft…Now where have I heard that line before?

11. C (So who's it's going to be? (All remaining men run for dear life)

12. B (Oh how sweet! ^_;)

13. D (Flowers. . .Candles. . .and Fifi-ello at your service! . . . He was wearing the maid outfit too! ^o^)

14. A (Come on! He called out your name didn't he?)

15. H (He does it because he loves you! And it hurts God too . . .)

You're in for some wild nights with this kinky wildcat! (he,he,he) He's the king of Kink and there's good reason for that. He's into bestiality, cross dressing, bondage, and more! You'll be very happy with him!

Positive side: He's like a "Timex Watch", he takes a lickin' and keep on tickin'! Sure to satisfy your twisted desires in everyway possible. O_o You can treat him anyway you want to as long as it hurts!

Negative side: You really had to ask?! You may want to work on raising your pain threshold for he's been known to get a little carried away. . . Also another downside is any and all religious relics will need to be removed from the house. (Warning: This is a must!)

Well everyone, are you happy with your choices? Good I'm glad to hear it! What's that? A few of you aren't? Well I guess I can let you trade . . . But you'll need to review who you really got first, also it may cost a few of you! I think Aya said he'd take anyone for $10.00 (What's that Aya you said $100.00? Oop's Oh well . . . he, he ,he ) What he doesn't know won't hurt him right! ~_^ What's that Yoji? You'll take anyone for free? That figures and how about the rest of you? (The remainder of the group is quiet . . . and Ken is gagged) See you later folks and hope you enjoyed yourselves! I know I did! But I'm afraid I have a date I can't miss so I'll have to go! =^.^=/ (Drags a bound and tied Schu off by the hair . . .)