A/N: Ok, I can't actually respond privately to Hermionefan1983, it won't let me, so I'll just do it here. I have no idea if they have wings, in a few of the veela fics I've read, some people have said they do, I don't know if they're getting that as fact from somewhere, but just thought I'd throw it in just in case.

As for the question asked by Moi, about the blood, hopefully it'll be answered to your satisfaction in future chapters, i just didn't want to chuck all the Veela information in one go in one chapter just to get it out of the way, Hermione gets information from several sources and some of them contradict each other, it's up to Hermione to figure out what's truth for her.

Anyway, thanks so much for reading and for the reviews. Hope you enjoy chapter 2. :)

Chapter 2

Hermione made her way back up to the castle, her feet heavy with both her exhaustion and the weight of the knowledge she had just been given.

Fleur had told her there had even been Veela who had opted to just live their remaining years mateless rather than submit to the bonding. Hermione didn't think she could blame them.

It almost felt like a betrayal against her, committed by her own blood. How could it do this to her!? Make her survival dependant on the will of another!?

Hermione resisted the urge to scream her frustration. She wasn't so far away from civilization that it would go unheard. The last thing she wanted was someone thinking she was in trouble and rush to her location only to find out she was just losing her mind.

She would have to tell her friends too. But that could wait until tomorrow. There was no way in hell she was sitting through that conversation today. Ron was likely not going to take it very well, especially since they were pretty much on the cusp of dating. They had shared a few stolen kisses since the wars end, but they hadn't really spoken about what it meant. It was probably a good thing she hadn't gotten in any deeper.

She was already certain he wasn't her mate, she had touched, seen and smelled him plenty of times since turning seventeen and had never felt anything overly significant. She had liked him for a long time yes, but she assumed 'she would just know' meant she would feel something a little earth shattering at least. Nothing about Ron had ever been earth shattering to her. Even when he had abandoned them, sad as it was, the only surprise had come from the fact he had lasted as long as he had.

In a way she supposed it was better he wasn't. While she did like him, and he was one of her best friends, she certainly wasn't blind to his faults. Ron could be very selfish and demanding and truth be told, she couldn't trust him not to abuse the power he would have over her.

She actually couldn't think of a single person she would trust with her free will. Harry and Neville wouldn't intentionally abuse it she supposed. But that was pointless, she already knew it couldn't be them either. She had seen, touched and smelled them plenty of times too.

Hermione got back up to her dorm, stuck a note to her door warning off any visitors, then warded it and went to bed to wallow in her misery a bit, then come up with a plan to either cope with this, or find a way out. One that didn't involve suicide.

xXx

Hermione felt her wards disturbed a few times during yesterday and last night, but she'd ignored them all. The only visit she'd had had been from a House elf sent by Harry to make sure she ate. He really was such a lovely boy. At least now, with the war over, he finally had a chance to relax, to not have to fret about having his mind invaded or fight for his life.

The next morning Hermione rose and showered, readying herself for the day and the conversation she needed to have with her friends. She skipped breakfast, but Harry still sent something up to her. She picked at it, had to force most of that down because she was a bundle of nerves and still felt like utter shite.

After breakfast she found Harry in the Common room sitting on the floor at the table looking to be puzzling over his homework. Gin and Ron were nowhere in sight.

"Hey Harry," she greeted, taking a seat opposite him.

"Hey 'Mione," he returned looking up at her. She didn't miss the flash of concern in his eyes at her state. "What happened yesterday? Why didn't you let us come see you?"

"I just...I got some news yesterday and I didn't feel up to company. But I'm going to tell you guys now, you should probably know what's going."

"Are you in some kind of trouble?"

"Of a sort."

"Is there anything I can do?"

"Not really, but I still need to tell you guys."

"I'll find Ron and Gin and meet you in your room then?"

"Yeah, thanks."

Harry rolled up his work and helped her stand, squeezing her hand gently before letting it go.

"Do you want me to bring up any food or drink or anything?" He asked.

She shook her head. "Not unless you want some for yourself."

"Right, I'll go find Ron and Gin."

They went their separate ways. Harry had been really concerned for Hermione. They had all looked like death last year and for quite some time after the war, but Hermione never seemed to get better. Well, she did a little, and slowly. He and Ron were doing really well, putting back on all the weight they lost, regaining their strength and healthy colour. Hermione wasn't. She was clearly trying, he'd monitored her meals himself, she was eating healthy and regularly. He had worried she might have an eating disorder or something and kept a really close eye on her, but she didn't. There was something else wrong with her, he knew it. And he was eager to find out what.

xXx

Hermione was sitting on her bed when her friends arrived, let in by Malfoy, and she silenced the room once they had closed the door. They climbed onto bed with her.

"I need wand oaths that what I tell you, you won't ever tell anyone else."

They nodded, drawing their wands. If Hermione asked for that kind of insurance, it had to be big.

Hermione wasn't exactly sure why she wanted to keep her Veela heritage a secret, she just did. She supposed she might not have wanted everyone knowing she was looking for her mate, or that she should be anyway. She certainly didn't want everyone knowing she would die if she didn't find him. And she most definitely didn't want the Prophet getting wind of it and announcing it to the entire wizarding world where they would most likely spin some dramatic romanticized possibly tragic love story. Who knew with them.

"What's going on 'Mione?" Harry asked.

"I- I found out why I've been so...not well lately," she began, unsure how to say it. Best to just do it. Rip it off like a plaster. "I'm part Veela."

Ginny let out a gasp while the boys obviously didn't quite grasp the situation.

"Ok," Ron said. "It's a surprise but what's that got to do with you being sick?"

"You're an idiot Ron," Ginny muttered. "She has to find her mate. Without him she'll die."

Harry paled, but Ron didn't seem all that fussed.

"All right, so we'll just get married or whatever," he shrugged.

Hermione pinched the bridge of her nose. The boy took obliviousness to new heights, or depths.

"You're not my mate Ron," she told him, trying to keep her voice gentle, not that it would really help.

They could see his instant irritation. "How would you know? You haven't even tried."

"I just do Ron. Fleur said I'd know. So I assume that means I would know who isn't."

"So you've just been leading me on?" He demanded.

"No! I did- do like you Ron, I have for ages," she said, hoping to quell some of that anger.

He had to see this wasn't her fault. And she hadn't been leading him on, she hadn't known about this before. If she had, she never would have started anything with him, whether they'd named it or not. It certainly wouldn't have been out of any loyalty to her unknown mate or a sudden desire to find him and be with him. But it wasn't fair to Ron that a part of her, a pretty significant part, wanted or not, belonged to someone else. And even if she did decide to remain mateless, she was only going to die in the end, she had possibly less than a year left. She didn't think Ron should waste his time on her when it was going to go no where.

"Then how do you know it's not me?"

"I just know. I don't know how to explain. I know it isn't you, and I know it isn't Harry."

"Then who is it!?"

"I don't know!" She snapped back.

Honestly, when he got angry he asked the stupidest questions. Ron stormed out. He did what he always did when something didn't go his way.

Silence descended around the rest of them.

"You don't have much time left," Ginny said softly.

"I know."

Ginny clapped her hands together. "Ok, how are we going to find your mate?"

"I'm not sure I want to Gin."

"What!? But you'll die!" Harry was looking at her like she was some kind of idiot and Hermione did not appreciate it.

"I was talking to Fleur this morning. Being a Veela does not sound like a good thing. They're practically slaves to their mates if they turn out to be unkind. I don't want to be controlled. I don't want whoever it is to be able to dangle my life over my head. How is that conducive to a healthy relationship? Not to mention the fact that my mate will have very little choice in being with me. If he has even an ounce of decency, he'll accept only because of the fact he would be letting me die otherwise. That could lead to some pretty bitter resentment. It's not fair on anyone."

"What are you talking about?" Ginny asked.

"A Veela's drive to keep their mate happy practically strips that Veela of their choice. They'll do whatever it takes from the sounds of it. What if I ended up with someone like...I don't know, a Death Eater and he asks me to kill Harry or he'll withdraw what I need from him to survive?"

Ginny opened her mouth to reply, then closed it, taking a moment to think about it before opening her mouth again.

"I'm sure it's not as bad as all that," Ginny said weakly.

"Fleur did say it was rare," Hermione admitted begrudgingly. "But it does happen."

"But if you don't, you'll die," Harry said, taking hold of her hand. "How long would you have?"

"Less than a year. But maybe I could come up with something, I was told potions and being healthy can help prolong life for a Veela. Maybe I can just become super healthy, only organic food, plenty of vitamins and minerals, exercise. There has to be a way, this can't be it."

Hermione wasn't sure if she was trying to convince them or herself.

"What if, we find your mate, tie him down and you take what you need?" Harry suggested.

Ginny shook her head. "Doesn't work that way. If he's unwilling, then he's not happy and a Veela can't stand their mate being unhappy."

Harry's brow furrowed. "What happens?"

They all looked at each other, not exactly sure of the consequences of such an action.

"I'll have to owl Fleur about that," Hermione said.

"I'm surprised you're not in the library researching it," Harry noted.

"I just...I don't have the energy Harry. I have homework and Head girl duties and when I'm not doing that, I just want to sleep."

She flopped backwards, landing on her soft pillows.

"How are you getting through classes?"

"Sheer stubbornness?" She shrugged. "By the end of the day I'm absolutely shattered."

"We'll help you as much as we can."

"We'll help you find your mate too," Ginny said. "You never know, it could be someone good for you."

Harry snorted. "Or it could be someone like Malfoy."

"Malfoy isn't so bad," Hermione said, not that she wanted him for a mate.

Harry's eyes practically bulged from his head at her statement.

"He'd still reject me yes, but he wouldn't do it out of maliciousness at least."

"Does it really matter why he does it? The result is still the same."

Hermione nodded. "It matters to me. And besides, I don't like the idea of taking the choice away from someone."

"You could do what Fleur did," Ginny suggested. "She didn't tell Bill about him being her mate until he'd already fallen in love with her."

Hermione tilted her head as she thought it over. That wasn't such a bad idea. Hermione had liked the sound of it when Fleur had mentioned it yesterday.

"I think you should find your mate 'Mione," Harry said. "At least if we know who it is, we can gauge his likely reaction."

Hermione wasn't so sure. If she knew who he was, when the time came she might not be so willing to let herself die, the idea of begging him to save her... Even under the pain of the cruciatus she hadn't begged.

"Do you think Ron will come round?"

"Eventually," Harry assured her.

Hermione needed her friends. If this was to be her last year alive, she didn't want to be at odds with anyone.

Ginny eventually left, and Harry lay down beside her. Though a bit ill and unfocused, Hermione hadn't been blind to the way Harry and Ginny had been interacting with each other. They pretty much hadn't.

"So what's up with you and Gin?"

"Nothing," he sighed. "I just...I don't think I like her like that. But she does and it's kind of awkward." There was a long silence before he spoke again. "Do you think I should give it another chance?"

"It's up to you Harry. Do you really think another chance is going to make a difference?"

Harry smiled to himself. Hermione was the only one to not tell him to go back to Ginny. Everyone else based their reasons on the fact Ginny was hot and Harry would be a fool to pass her up. In Ron's case, he encouraged the relationship with the belief Harry would end up his brother in law.

In Harry's opinion, they were a bit young to be considering marriage he thought.

Poor Hermione though. After all the campaigning she did for House Elf freedom and rights, she was going to be practically just as enslaved as she believed them to be. At least most House Elves had the bliss of ignorance.

"It's just...I think she still kind of hero worships. I know she sees me too, but there's still-"

"I get what you're trying to say," she said. "And yeah to an extent, that hero worship is still there. Not as bad as it was mind you."

Harry nodded, breathing a sigh of relief. "Good, I thought I was the only one who saw it. She's pretty angry though, hardly talks to me any more."

"She'll get over it eventually, both the youngest Weasley's are afflicted with grudge holding."

"But what if she turns the rest of her family against me?"

"Even if you lost the Weasley's, you still have Remus and Tonks and Teddy. Neville and Luna will always be your friends. Besides, just because Ginny's angry with you, doesn't mean the others will be. The twins will always treat you like just Harry. And Mrs Weasley loves you. And you'll have me too."

"I don't want you to die," he said softly.

"I might not, you never know."

"Do you have any idea who it might be?"

"Not a clue. Fleur said a Veela could recognise them by touch, smell, even just sight."

"So that's how you knew it wasn't me or Ron."

Hermione nodded. "I can't think of anyone in the last few years who has affected me in any sort of significant way."

"What about Krum?"

"I guess there's a chance it could be him, but I haven't seen him since before I turned 17, so I wouldn't know."

"Are you going to meet up with him? To test?"

Hermione shrugged. "Right now, all I want to do is sleep."

"No," he said, sitting up and pulling her with him. "You're going to eat, it's almost lunch time. And while we're down there, we're going to try and figure out who your mate is."

Hermione let him drag her towards the door.

"I'm pretty sure I'm not going to recognize them by sight, I've seen everyone here at least once over the past few years. And I'm not about to go around touching and sniffing people."

"I could think of a few guys who probably wouldn't mind you doing that," he grinned at her.

Hermione rolled her eyes.

xXx

Severus sat at the staff table for lunch, forced to by Minerva. He would have much preferred to take his lunch in his private chambers but the woman had told him he was spending too much time locked away, that they hardly ever saw him these days.

He didn't particularly care, nor was he deluded enough to think they actually wanted to see him. Minerva perhaps, they had reached a close friendship over the years, though it had taken a severe beating during the course of his time as Headmaster.

After the truth had come out while he was recovering, safely hidden away in Grimmauld Place, the protective wards all having been recast, his name had been completely cleared and all of a sudden he was a war hero. Likely thanks to Potter and his two little side kicks, possibly not Weasley actually. But Granger and Potter's sense of ethics, honour, justice, whatever, likely would have had them fighting rather ardently for his innocence. And it had been Granger who had saved him in the Shrieking Shack. He owed the damn girl a life debt now. Would he ever be free of all his debts? So far the Granger girl had asked for nothing, not even alluded to the fact she saved his life. He was still on his guard though, waiting for her demand.

Speak of the devil, Potter was practically dragging Granger into the Great Hall now. The girl looked positively dreadful. Her skin was pale, the dark circles under her eyes were becoming more and more prominent with each passing day and she still looked too thin.

He would have thought that after the war, her health would have started to improve. She had looked quite bad at Grimmauld too. She was still top of all her classes he had noticed, but not by as large a margin as she used to and there had been times he'd caught her struggling to maintain her focus. If it got much worse, he might have to approach Minerva. He couldn't have her working on potions in such a state. She would be almost as dangerous as Longbottom.

Severus was pulled out of his thoughts as Trelawney took the seat beside him. He repressed the shudder that threatened to crawl down his spine. The dotty woman seemed to have taken a shine to him since the new school year started. In fact, she was one of many who suddenly found the idea of the dark and mysterious spy for the Order actually rather intriguing.

Severus of course had been taking advantage of that fact, but not without ensuring he was protected. No woman, after a sexual encounter with him, could proceed to spill the details of that night. The last thing he wanted was more of his private life splashed across the Prophet.

But one thing was certain, no matter how drunk or desperate or lonely, he would never touch Trelawney. He quickly turned in Minerva's direction and struck up conversation, hoping to avoid Trelawney talking to him. His scathing insults were often lost on her and therefore, didn't serve their purpose.

xXx

As Harry practically forced Hermione to eat, she glanced around the hall, hoping to pick up something, some inkling of who it might be. Part of her didn't want to know, she figured that was the human in her, the other part was almost desperate to find out. She took that to be the Veela side.

Now that she knew what to call it, the yearning she had been feeling for so long finally made sense. She had assumed it was just a desire to be safe, for the war to be over maybe. She never would have guessed she was just looking for a man. How mortifying.

Hermione Granger did not need a man to make her complete. But her stupid Veela side had messed that up. Her mother had always taught her she didn't need a man to make her happy, but if she found one that did, good for her. Now, Hermione needed one just to stay alive. Where was the fairness in that? This man didn't even have to like her. Even if she found him, there was no guarantee that would be an end to her problems. It could just make things worse. Hermione would classify slavery as worse than death. Was she being dramatic? Possibly. Did she care? Not particularly.

She glanced at the Ravenclaw and Slytherin tables from her vantage point. There was nothing going off within her when she looked at people. She didn't want to obviously check out the Hufflepuff table behind her.

She picked at a roll, mulling over how she might go about finding her mate while the other half was still denying she wanted to.

Ginny joined them, sitting opposite them and greeting Hermione with a beaming smile. Hermione returned it with a tired one of her own.

"Feel up to a walk around the lake after?" Ginny asked.

"If we go slow," she replied. "The fresh air might do me some good."

Hermione knew Ginny probably wanted to talk to her about something personal if she was offering this. And she was pretty sure it was going to pertain to Harry.

Twenty minutes later found them strolling at a very sedate pace along the edge of the lake. The sun was out, but there was a bit of a cold bite to the air.

"No luck with your mate then?" Ginny asked.

Hermione shook her head. "It's not as if I've been trying very hard."

"Would you really let yourself die?"

Hermione shrugged. "Honestly? I'm still just trying to absorb the shock of it. I don't know what I'm going to do. Would the Veela part of me even let me just give up like that?"

Ginny just nodded. Hermione was really killing the Veela fantasy for her, draining the romance right out of it. Speaking of romance.

"'Mione I...I wanted to ask you about Harry."

"What about him?" She asked, really wishing Ginny wouldn't. But Hermione didn't want to be rude to her friend.

"Has he said anything about me? About why he isn't interested any more? Before the war-"

Hermione shook her head. Harry may have spoken to her about it, but Hermione didn't want to reveal what he had said to Ginny. The girl would likely take to trying to convince him that it wasn't a problem and she didn't want to sic Ginny on Harry like that.

Hermione didn't know if it was a harsh stance or not, but her first loyalty would always be to Harry. Ginny had a big family to support her through any grief or upset. In this instance, Harry couldn't really rely on the Weasley's to be confidantes. They most likely would keep his secrets, some of them, but it would still be awkward.

Harry was her brother, her best friend and would be her flatmate once they graduated. Best not to do anything that might upset him either.

"I think his feelings have just changed Ginny, he's not the same person he was before the war."

"Do you think there's any chance his feelings could change again?"

Hermione inwardly winced. She wasn't any good at these kind of talks. And she didn't want to kill her hope, but at the same time she didn't want to offer false hope.

"Uh...it's not something I would hinge my future on."

Hermione tried to ignore the flash of hurt in the other girl. She didn't want to hurt her feelings but Ginny shouldn't wait for Harry, or just screw around until Harry noticed her like before the war.

Hermione found herself getting breathless and needed to stop, unceremoniously plopping on the ground.

"You ok?"

Hermione nodded. "Just need a bit of a rest."

Hermione didn't want to talk to Ginny about Harry. She just didn't think it was a conversation that could really go anywhere or be had without Ginny getting her feelings hurt.

Both girls sat in silence for a long time, listening to the sound of the lake, the splashes of the giant squid. Hermione lay down on her back, staring up at the clouds instead of the lake. She hadn't done that since she was a child, just sat and watched the sky, maybe pick out shapes in the clouds. Sometimes she really missed her pre Hogwarts days, before the stress of the war and trying to keep Harry and Ron alive. It had been an ongoing thing since she was twelve. Just when she had been looking forward to some rest and relaxation, a bit of normalcy after the hell they'd been through, she learned hell had just followed her right out the other side.

"I think I'm gonna head back up to the tower. Will you be all right by yourself?" Ginny asked.

Hermione restrained her irritation. She wasn't an invalid. "I'll be fine Gin."

She listened as Ginny's footsteps faded. Hermione supposed she really ought to go to the library and find out whatever it might have. Fleur had mentioned one woman who had managed almost a decade without succumbing to the curse of their blood.

All right, she would go there next, after she'd had a bit of a rest, she'd just sit here a few more minutes.