A/N: Hey, long time no see. Sorry for my prolonged absence, I'm doing my second year of college and haven't been doing much writing on the main two stories "A Hidden Vocal and Cruel Honor," sorry about that. However, I will be posting re-written versions of my older pieces. So hopefully you're following me, and excited to read.
Declaimer: I don't own any of the characters; they go to their rightful owner
Could one hate oneself? I would imagine so, because self-hatred is a thing. I fell it swell in my gut as I grab your forearm, for touching flawless, unbruised skin with these inhuman blacken claws. Your features splattered with thick red blood hardly your own, god, you deserve better; a happiness that is not corrupted by hideous atramentous. I see the shattered fragments of your heart in those sorrowful eyes, I wish to love as much as you gave love to me, but our situations are dim.
Forgive me, just this once. I hold nothing against you.
"Luce. I-I..." Her eyes are wavering, hands tightening as I swallow my somber thoughts, "Please-"
I wince when her lip trembles, a choked sob leaving a parched throat. She stands there with determination blazing behind those warm honey brown eyes, now glowing a heated gold from far off flames. We stand in silence, but before I re-propose my tired plead, her mouth becomes a hard line and the shadows that dance across her face makes her features rough and angular.
"Just stop, alright! I did not take your hand all those years ago to be thrown into a position to slay my own friend, no; my best friend!" I felt a bolt of pressure deep in my core, I'm a demon and it lays dormant inside, but I can feel its fury for being put on the sidelines. I re-concentrated my minds hold, I am strong, "I'm not killing you, so shut up Natsu."
Lucy, you may not have a choice. It was an oncoming wound that would lay open for centuries. It wouldn't get any easier when the prospect was that it was I who put it there.
"I don't want to hurt you, or anyone else! We are at War, Lucy, War with heartless demons that have already destroyed half of Magnolia! You know me Luce, better than even Erza who is like a big sister to me, please..." Her face crumbles and I want to kick myself as she bites into her lower lip. I risk a chance at smiling, despite my demonic appearance as I search hard into her wavering eyes; wanting and hoping she understood the situation and how much it benefited both sides of the battlefields. The silence stretch on, taking my hope with it as Lucy shifted her footing.
"I will not." She responded with clenched teeth, hands now shaking at her sides. Eyes trying to convey her love and desperation, but I felt dread.
"Please. Luce, I let you through the walls for a reason," I confessed, a last-ditch effort as I stepped closer to her, her eyes glossed over with tears and sadness, "You're my girl, my teammate and Best friend. I let you hear the mistakes that torture me, my secrets of anger and hatred… loneliness, and why I must be determined; I want to make up for it all. But, most of all I wanted you to see me express an uncovered version of myself; the one that wasn't stupid or overly goofy. I purposely let you see who I actually, and desperately was underneath, the real Natsu Dragneel."
Her reaction to the dark-hearted confession was instant, the tears that struggled to remain hidden, rolled heavily down her cheeks, breathing becoming erratic with hysteria. I lowered my eyes, down to the silver blade that she had, her grip lose against the black hilt; I had given it to her. My resolves were disintegrating, but what shot it all down was the heart-wrenching sobs that shook the Celestial mage's small frame. The wound had started to afflict her, more deeply than I wanted to admit. My own tears cascaded down my scaly cheekbones, some stopping at the top of my bottom lip as I watched her grit her teeth. I could almost hear the wheels turning inside her mind, her panic and despair that the thought of losing another friend. She quickly brought up her eyes to connect with mine.
"P-Please, there's got be another way –" I cut her off with a growl, it silenced the reassuring words but gave her a fright, at the moment I had no remorse. I didn't need those sentimental. Why would I, I was the one thing that everybody wants dead. I was a revolting half-demon made in a lab.
"I don't want to hear this anymore! Kill me!" I snapped, hands shaking from the exertion of keeping that stupid demon down and out of the way, "Close y-your eyes, it will make it e-easier."
Her gorgeous irises reflected the world around us, the smell and smoke swirled and ruffled her skirt and stung her nose with its foul stench. Her lip trembled as the sword wobbled in her hands that were crest with dried blood. Eyes dancing sharply across my features before lifting her right hand and sinking it into her dirty locks and screamed. Screamed with horrid emotions, fist tightening on the metal blade, it was so powerful that it involuntary activated her magic as a magical circle opened up underneath her; letting lose a soft stream of golden light. It stopped just as it began, her breathing haggard as she wailed.
"I-I can't do this... N-Not when it's y-your face." She choked out as salty droplets hit the burning ground of the earth under her feet, "W-We're friends, I-I want to go on m-more adventures; have campfires with Hap-p-py, Erza, and G-Gray…"
I began to feel a sickening darkness cloud my thoughts, but I was aware of the guilt eating my stomach as I blinked. I winced my mental hold wavering, causing my patience to snap and wither under the weight of frustration towards my still beating heart. My sharp ears picked up the battle on the other end come to a close; the others were on their way. Gray was on his way. My jaw clenched, I wasn't letting her soften my resolves, I was a danger to everyone. I was tired.
"Luce strike me or watch me do it myself! Your choices have ended, I am on my last line of defense!" It was brutal, my voice ragged and hoarse all that the same time. Her eyes widen, jolting yet again as she stared at me with horror riddled eyes. Her knees nearly buckled under the overwhelming pressure of her thoughts, she sobbed and gave it one last protest. I didn't give her the time.
"I WANT TO SAVE ONE LAST LIFE, PLEASE LUCY! I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU DIE." She sobbed in earnest at the physical and emotional pain I exhibited. It was all taxing to make things right, despite them being disgustingly wrong. I was in torment, splaying my hand across my chest; my heart beating steadily as a tight smile sprang to my features.
"Please, just do it," Her features were quickly swallowed up with anger and sorrow, vocals bleeding as she let out a devastating shriek, hands thrusting forwards like a slow-motion picture. The blade was biting against my flesh, as it sliced through scaled-flesh with practical ease. It all happened just as Fairy tail reached the hill top, the resounding horror filled scream traveled for miles as Lucy pulled, jolting my body free of the cold metal object. A large, loving smile light up my features, my throat tasted of iron as a stream of thick black blood forced itself pass my lips, and slowly down my chin. My vision fading, pain rippling dangerously throughout my body as Lucy dropped the blade to the soot-covered ground, her wails of despair a high melody to my clouded mind, "Th-Th…. Thank y-you." I love you so much.
My body gave out, dropping heavily to the ground. Lucy stood there, eyes tremoring in their sockets before she sank to her knees into the blood that polled mercifully around my body, wetting her pants and knees as she settles herself comfortably by my side. She watches with a choked throat as the red blistering scales and black horns retreat, returning me to who I was before. Lucy rocked back and forth, her hands fisting the wet fabric of my shirt, face buried in my chest, her blonde locks soaking up my blood. It hurt, but nearly as the thundering of feet became distinct to my slow senses.
"Why!" Erza shouted, her red-rimmed eyes the only evidence of her previous tears. I blinked, the action low as I turned my head to face everyone else. Gray was pale, his eyes never leaving the large-but- fatal wound in my upper left pectoral. Happy cried, his sobs the loudest out of every bodies but it was Wendy who surprised me. She strolled over, face stoic as she kneeled down to run her sky-magic over the wound, it wasn't until the realization that there wasn't anything she would do; her façade shattered. She too, sobbed.
"I d-don't und-er-erstand?" She whimpered, making it clear to everyone that my life couldn't be spared. My heart began to fail, lungs tight with the promise of death as I cocked back my head and let out a laugh. Blood streamed out of my mouth, as I clenched my teeth at the flare of pain caused by my movement.
"D-Do-Don't blame L-Lucy, I w-wanted it…I wa-wanted it…I-I..," I chocked on the blood filling my lungs with every syllable, the taste overwhelming. Lucy lifted her head and shakily reached over to grip my hand as I struggle to breath. Everyone by now were sobbing, even looking away form such a cruel scene. It wasn't until I sobbed out the last words, that everyone watched, "I'm S-So-Sorry, I Lo-v-ve you guys…"
I felt numb and tired, with the little bit of strength I had left; I lifted my hand up to stroke the soft strands of Lucy's head. My head lolled to the right, my eyes dimmed of their expressive pain as I staggered my last lung full of air before I was truly gone. Was this worth her love? Her freedom? What I wasn't aware of was how Lucy shrieked when my hand dropped, limp and lifeless beside her.
'It is hard to forget someone who gave you so much to remember'
