I own nothing from NCIS and make no money from this story! If I did own them there would be some massive changes! I am simply borrowing them for a bit and returning them happier and in better condition than when I found them.

A huge thanks goes to my most excellent Beta-Amy- without whom this would not be as polished! Kudos to her for her great work and wanting to work with a nut like me! Trust me! There is much love to her! She also feeds the bunnies some massive happy food since they keep appearing.

Come by my facebook page- always a riot! Sometimes great eye candy as well! Facebook./gibbsandtonysbabe Always happy to have you drop by!

******NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS NCIS******

This is a bunny brought on by my awesome Beta Amy...she so rocks!

Tony looked at his watch and sighed. In about twenty minutes, Jethro would walk through that door. He sensed that the older man knew what was coming; he had begged off the past two nights citing working on the boat and talking to his dad. And when you combined that with the slight under current of tension between the two of them it was hard to believe otherwise. They rarely spent the night together, but didn't often go without at least eating together or connecting in some way.

That did not bode well for the conversation that he wanted to have with the older man. He just couldn't see why Jethro was so against sharing their lives with their friends. He wasn't asking the man to shout it from the rooftops or rent a billboard.

Being alone the past two nights, he had steeled his resolve during his tossing and turning. He still had doubts about one thing; whether or not he would be able to remain with NCIS. He knew they could maintain a professional relationship, hell they had been together for over two years and no one had a clue. But would he be able to let go, move on or even simply live being in that close proximity with Jethro every day in just a professional capacity? He honestly didn't know; there was no easy answer for that one. He'd just have to wait, see, and hope for the best. Funny, that was all Tony felt like he did lately.

Hearing Jethro's car pull in the lot, he sent a prayer to the heavens.

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

Gibbs pulled in the lot and sighed. He was determined not to let the deep worry that had settled over him spoil his evening with Tony. They didn't have enough of them as it was. Walking in the door, he toed his shoes off and called out a greeting.

"Tony. If you're not careful, all the neighbors are going to invite themselves over for dinner. I can smell it outside."

Poking his head out of the kitchen the younger man smiled. "Not feeding them all Jet."

Smiling he walked over to his lover and dropped a kiss on his lips. "Missed you Tony."

"Missed you too Jet. We could do this more often, spend the night together during the week." Tony's green eyes filled with hope.

Jethro shook his head no. "Too dangerous. Someone would catch on. People come by my house all the time unannounced."

Smiling sadly Tony walked back to the stove knowing in his heart how the evening would turn out. "Dinner in ten. Go get comfortable."

Jethro saw the droop in Tony's shoulders and heard the dejection in his voice. He wanted to comfort the man, hold him and tell him how much he was loved, but he sensed that right now it wouldn't be welcomed or enough.

What Tony wanted was just not something he could do. He wouldn't risk their careers or any type of censure or discrimination; he was too old to deal with it. He didn't understand why it wasn't enough for Tony to know that he loved him.

He showed him, he talked and shared more with Tony than any of his ex-wives, but coming out was not something he could do. He just had to make the younger man see that. Softly leaving the kitchen, he went to the couch and sat down hoping that Tony did not intend to bring the subject up tonight.

Tony walked out with a beer and a plate handing them to the older man. "Thanks. I would have helped."

Smiling he leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on Jethro's lips. "No worries. Be right back. Do you need anything else?"

"No." He looked down at his plate. "Looks really good Tone. What did you stuff the shells with?"

"Shrimp, cheese, spinach and portabella mushrooms. Mangia, mangia."

Jethro watched Tony's ass as he walked back to the kitchen before he turned to back to his plate and took a bite. The man could cook that was for sure, guess he would just add that to his other talents.

Jethro kept waiting for the usual chatter that Tony kept up during dinner, it was their time to reconnect and catch up. But tonight he was met with silence and Tony pushed what little food he had on his plate around. He wanted to ask the younger man what was bothering him but was afraid to hear his answer.

"Tony?"

Blowing out a sigh Tony turned and looked at Jethro. "Am I enough for you?"

He gave the younger man a puzzled look before answering. "Of course you are."

Tony looked down at his hands, "It doesn't feel like it. Feels more like I am not at all what you want."

"Why the hell would you say that Tony? Have I ever made you feel that way?"

"Yes."

The word felt like a punch to the gut. He looked at Tony, "How? You know that I love you."

"I do know that." He held his hands up to stop Jethro from interrupting. "And I love you more than you can imagine…but I need more. I need to be able to share my joy, my happiness. I want to have our friends over like any normal couple and laugh at stories we share. I want us to go out together…do something outside of the house."

"Ton-"

"No! No excuses this time." Tony jumped up off the couch in agitation and began to pace. "I am not asking you to fly a God damned rainbow flag, or hold my hand where people might see. I know that is not your thing. You're private I get it. But our friends Jethro-", He took a deep breath. "Why can't they know? Why can't they be brought into our world? You can't tell me you believe that they wouldn't be supportive or that they would look at us differently." Tony stopped and looked at Jethro. His love and conviction and all the emotions he held deep in his heart showed through his eyes as he begged for understanding, needing the older man to grasp how important this was.

A mix of emotions flowed through the older man's body, he did understand where Tony was coming from, but he couldn't do it. They would be risking their careers, their reputations and he couldn't do that. He didn't really want to share; he liked living in their bubble where nothing could hurt them.

Tony looked at the older man and shook his head sadly. "You're wrong."

Snapping his head up, he glared at the younger man. "You don't know what I was thinking."

"No, not exactly, but I can guess that it ran the gamut of our careers, your private life and your belief that we are safe from being hurt if we stay anonymous."

Crossing his arms over his chest Jethro looked at Tony, "So you see my point."

"No. Like I said, you're wrong. You're hurting us."

Jethro looked at Tony aghast. "How?"

"Because you have single handedly made me feel like I am nothing, not enough and that you're ashamed of me. That sharing a small part of ourselves with the people we call friends and family would be a crime."

"But that's not how I feel Tony." Gibbs forced the words through clenched teeth.

Tony lifted his eyes to meet his, "You taught me that actions speak louder than words". He took a step to stand in front of the older man, their faces only separated by inches.

Jethro looked into the face of the man he loved; his emotions were waging an all out war with his brain. He just couldn't do it, he couldn't be that open. How could he make the man understand that? He could feel Tony slipping away though they were inches apart. He couldn't let that happen.

"Tony…"

The weight of that one word shattered his world.

"I get it." Tony whispered. "I do, but it's not enough anymore Jethro. I need more, to be valued."

"But-"

Tony shook his head. "You need to go please."

He walked toward the door and then turned and looked at the younger man. In those green eyes, he saw resignation and acceptance. He felt the pain radiating off the other man and struggled to stand under the weight of it. He had caused it and was unable to fix it.

"Can I-"

"I'll be at work Boss."

He looked at the younger man silently pleading for him not to end what they had, yet felt powerless to stop it. He wanted to beg for more time, for more…anything.

"Please Tony."

Tony opened the front door, leaned down, and placed a gentle kiss on the older man's lips.

Stepping out into the hallway Jethro turned to look at Tony and heard the whispered 'Goodbye' as the door closed.