I was dragged back into the hallway by the same man that had drug me out. I was still trembling and as soon as I was thrown into my cell, I prompt scrambled into the corner and vomited. I felt sick. I had killed. I felt like I didn't deserve to live anymore. Of all the things, killing was something I never pictured myself doing. Ever. I'd rather die than kill. And yet, in The Arena, all of my inhibitions faded away as adrenaline overtook my mind. I curled into a ball, my hands gripping my hair as I felt myself spiraling into panic. The walls felt like they were closing in on me. I took shuttering breaths. Oh God, I wanted to die. I wanted to be out of this place. Anywhere. I didn't hear Domen the first time he called out to me.
"It's okay," he repeated as I slowly raised my eyes to meet his gaze from across the hall. "Consider yourself lucky that you did it without thinking about it. Most people don't last that long without thinking about themselves. Maybe you'll continue to get lucky."
I shook my head, quickly. Lucky? I wasn't lucky. Unith wasn't lucky. None of us here were lucky.
"I don't feel very lucky," I croaked as I shut my eyes to the world, hoping to drown in the nothingness behind my eyelids.
Domen scoffed.
"You're alive aren't you? I'd consider that lucky. For a human you weren't expected to come out alive, especially against Unith. So consider yourself lucky, kid. Prepare yourself for the next creatures you'll have to kill if you want out of this place."
"For a human . . . what are you?" My forehead creased in confusion. What was Domen? And for that matter, what was Unith? "Domen, what are you?"
Domen seemed to zone out before he answered slowly. "It . . . It doesn't matter what I am."
"Do you know what Unith was?" I asked. Was. I was still trembling softly. I ended someone's life. Unith's life. She wasn't human but that didn't matter. Life is life. And she was no longer living because of me. I was a monster.
"I should," Domen commented. "She said we grew up together."
"But you don't remember," I said more than asked. He nodded curtly. "I remember where I came from. Do you think there are others here?"
"There are always others. More halls. More fighters. It wouldn't surprise me if there were more from your place. I've seen other humans here before," he replied.
"Will I forget?"
"Maybe," he said. "Probably. I don't really know. Unith claimed to remember everything. I've never heard anyone else talk about their past here though. It doesn't happen."
"How long have you been here, Domen?" I whispered. I was almost afraid, no. I was afraid of the answer.
"I'm not really sure. Time blends together. I can never tell how long I sleep. How long I sit in this cell. How long I fight. Perhaps several days. Weeks. I don't really care."
I stayed silent, leaning against the corners of the wall in the cell. I closed my eyes and felt myself drift off, emotional exhaustion sinking into my bones as I tried to block out everything I'd done in the past hour. Or half hour. Or day. I didn't know. I didn't want to know and soon I was drifting off into blissful sleep. Nothingness greeting me with open arms. I slid into her embrace and forgot everything.
When I woke up, Domen was gone and the hall was quiet. I shifted from where I was laying to the other corner of my cell, away from my vomit. I curled up there, leaning against the walls. The screams of the arena filled the air and I heard screaming and chanting and I closed my eyes willing them to go away. Willing the sick people who watching us fight to just die. I didn't want to fight again. But I knew I had to.
The Arena quieted and I heard the door of the hall open. Boots clicked against the floor. I slowed my breathing, willing myself to blend in with the shadows. Hoping he wouldn't remember I was in this cell. But as fate would have it, the man unlocked my cell dragging me out. I dug my heels into the ground, yelping when the man backhanded me. I was thrown out of the hallway, into the Arena again.
"Look what we have here! Our little newcomer! We remember her don't we!" The screams rattled off the walls of the Arena and I looked around in disgust before looking for my opponent. I found him and I wish I hadn't. My breath caught in my throat and I felt my mouth drop. Domen stood across from me, dark limbs hanging oddly. Blood dripped from his wounds and he stared at me with sad eyes.
"Let's see if she can win again shall we!" And with that the fight began. Domen lunged at me and I screamed. He tackled me into the dirt, hand at my throat. His other hand pressed something against my chest.
"Take it," he muttered, squeezing my throat. I groaned in pain, reaching for whatever he was giving me, my blood chilling when I found the hilt of a dagger. I looked up at him and his eyes were watery.
"Kill me," he ordered. "Kill me!" His hand strangled me as I wrapped my hand around the hilt of the dagger. "Kill me now and live, fight, don't forget." He screamed rage at me when I kicked him off of me, holding the dagger at my defensive. He lunged and I held out the dagger, slashing at him. I caught him across his chest, a new wound ripping open.
"Try harder," he hissed. I began to cry.
"I can't!" I told him. He laughed cruelly.
"You think they care? You think they care about you or whatever family you had? You think they care about your feelings or your life? You think they care about your pain! You think they CARE about dying! DO YOU!" he screamed as he lunged at me again, we rolled in the dirt until I was poised over him, dagger held high.
"I'm sorry," I whispered, tears falling to his face. He closed his eyes and smiled.
"Finally," he murmured. I closed my eyes stabbing downward. I felt the dagger find purchase in his chest, warm blood pooling around my hands as I dug the dagger deep into his chest. I let out a sob and Domen took another shaky breath.
"Keep fighting," he whispered, blood spilling from his lips. I nodded shakily as I slid the dagger from his body, eyes going glazed as he died. The man who'd dragged me out dragged me back in as the Arena went wild, screaming for me. I screamed to. Screamed for me. Screamed for Domen. Screamed for all of those whose blood had been spilled in that damned arena of death.
I was thrown back into my cell and I curled up once more as I cried. Two deaths I had caused in this time I'd spent here and I was sure they would not be my last. I prayed to whatever God there was that this would end but the torture continued when the man came back a few hours later to drag me back into the Arena, the crowd going wild as they chanted.
"Suha! Suha! Suha!"
Suha? I thought bitterly. They've given me a name. I could hear Domen whispering in my mind. "And if you win enough fights, you are gifted with a name."
