I bury hatchets, but I keep maps of where I put 'em. Reputation precedes me, they told you I'm crazy, I swear I don't love the drama, it loves me. And I can't let you go, your hand prints on my soul. It's like your eyes are liquor, it's like your body is gold. You've been calling my bluff on all my usual tricks, so here's the truth from my red lips. ~ Taylor Swift, End Game

…rep…

Calloused hands roamed across my bare back, and soft lips left wet kisses along my shoulder. Not a bad way to wake up.

I hummed in pleasure and turned my head toward Edward. "Good morning."

Edward gave me a lazy smile and continued his exploration of my neck. Vacation was doing him wonders. He was less moody and had a healthy glow about him. I didn't know if the glow was from less stress or happiness or both, but I loved it.

I had decided there were two different Edward's. Not in a 'take him to the nearest mental hospital' way, but in a way that helped me come to terms with him and his life. My Edward, the one who woke me up with gentle kisses, was my favorite. He was loving and passionate and would do anything for me.

Then, there was the Chicago-Edward. He was cold and hard and ruthless. I had only seen glimpses of him, but I knew I would see him more in time. It was hard for me to imagine my Edward doing those things, but his words the night of Alice's party bring me a little bit of comfort whenever I get too worried about it.

I'm not a good man, Bella. I've killed people. I happily killed the man who outed you to Volturi, and I'd do it again in a heartbeat if it meant keeping you safe… If protecting what I love means I have to get my hands dirty, then so be it.

Of course, I knew there were things his family did that weren't just about protecting themselves. They didn't need to deal the drugs and weapons that they did. That was just business to them, I guessed.

I wondered if Edward saw me the same way. Actress Bella vs. his Bella?

"That's too much thinking for this early in the morning," Edward mumbled against my neck.

I craned my neck up and checked the time. "Shit, I have to get up," I stumbled out of bed and into the bathroom.

Edward, being the gentleman that he is, allowed me to at least use the toilet before he joined me. He leaned against the counter while I brushed my teeth and made myself somewhat presentable.

"Last day of rehearsal, right?" He asked.

I knew what he was getting at. It was killing him that I never let him come to a rehearsal.

We had gotten back to Los Angeles about ten days ago, and from the moment we walked in the front door I had been working. Heidi had booked me a rehearsal studio, and I was there from seven in the morning until seven at night. Today was the last rehearsal, until soundcheck at the actual venue the day before the ceremony.

I didn't want Edward distracting me at rehearsal, and I knew he would. One look from those bright green eyes and I would be imagining him doing very bad things to me, and he knew it.

I did feel bad leaving him alone all the time. Every time I mentioned it, Edward told me he had work to do anyway, but I still missed our little bubble of just us.

"Austin, Alison, and their parents are coming over for dinner tonight," I reminded him.

I couldn't wait to see them all. Alison had been busy, she was on tour the same time I was last year, so I hadn't seen her in months. We tended to lose touch while we were both busy with work, but we always knew we were still there for each other when things calmed down.

Austin had been swamped the last month, too. Poor guy had to jump through all of the media hoops for his nomination.

Edward nodded. "I can work upstairs –"

I frowned. That's not what I meant. "No, I want you to meet them." I told him. Then a knot of guilt formed in my stomach. "I don't mean to… I don't like hiding you away. I just like having you to myself."

Edward pulled me into his arms and his hands rested dangerously close to my ass. "I know. We'll have to come clean eventually, but this isn't the time." His hands kneaded my ass through my sleep shorts and his lips attached themselves to my neck.

"I have to go," I mumbled against the soft skin of Edward's chest.

Edward ignored my weak protest and pulled me against his obvious arousal.

"We haven't had sex in seven days," Edward complained, his hands still grinding me against him. Don't I fucking know it.

"I know. I'm just busy and stressed and –" Edward cut me off with his lips.

Edward pulled away from me, a gentle smile on his face. "You're like a boxer before a big match," he let me go after another quick kiss.

…rep…

I had just enough time to get home and showered before everyone showed up for dinner. Edward was dressed in a pair of dark slacks and a light grey button down. He had his sleeves rolled up to his elbows and it made me want to revisit our conversation from this morning.

I pulled on a simple black, long-sleeved romper. Edward came over just as I was straightening it, making sure if covered the scar on my shoulder. He pulled the sleeve down and kissed along the discolored flesh.

The buzzing from the gate interrupted the moment, and I straightened my sleeve again before heading down stairs. I buzzed them in and went outside to wait for them. Edward met me outside, his arm wrapping around my waist.

Alison and Austin exited the car and their parents, Sophia and Ethan, followed. I ran over and Alison met me in a big hug.

Austin wrapped his arms around me from behind and pulled me away from his sister, lifting me off of the ground.

"Put her down, Austin," Ethan scolded. I just smiled.

"Come in," I told them. I grabbed Edward's hand as I passed him and pulled him inside with me.

We gathered around the living room. "Edward, this is Alison, Austin, Sophia, and Ethan Greggory. This is my boyfriend, Edward Cullen."

Alison gave me a you've-been-holding-out-on-me smirk and I just smiled at her.

Ethan reached a hand out to Edward and they had one of those stare downs where they size each other up. Ridiculous.

"You taking good care of her?" He asked, his voice much more gruff and intimidating than I knew it actually was.

"I'm trying. She doesn't make it easy," Edward said, smirking in my direction.

Ethan just laughed, and I knew Edward had won him over. The boys got into a discussion about sports, football I think, and the girls wandered into the kitchen. I still kept an eye on Edward though, just in case. I didn't like sharing.

"He's gorgeous," Alison said the second we were in the kitchen.

"Yes, he is," I agreed with a smile. I pulled the food out of the oven and set it on the table. I couldn't take credit for it, I had ordered a meal from my favorite Italian restaurant down the street. All I did was stick it in the oven to reheat it.

"How long have you been seeing him?" Sophia asked.

I frowned. That was a complicated answer. "It was rocky at first. I met him in June of last year. We had a bit of a falling out around the time of the, uh, shooting. We've been traveling together since the beginning of the year, though."

"And how are you doing, sweetie?" Sophia asked me. Her eyes were sad and she reached an arm out to pat my hand.

Sophia was the mother I always wanted. She was kind and loving and cared. She was unbelievably proud of her children. There was never a moment she wasn't supporting them. I'll always be thankful that she decided to take me under her wing, too.

"I'm doing okay. I still have to work on getting my arm back to normal. But," I shrugged. "I'm alive."

"I still just… can't believe that happened." Alison said, shaking her head.

The men decided to come in then. Edward took the food out of my hands and started carrying everything to the table. I shook my head to clear my mind of dark thoughts. Tonight was a good night, a night of celebration.

Dinner flowed easily. I was happy to see that everyone got along well with Edward. Not that there was anyone Edward couldn't charm, but I wanted my friends to like him, and vice versa.

We talked about Austin and I's nominations, and what Sunday would bring. Ethan asked Edward about his business and I immediately tensed up. Edward just placed a hand on my thigh and went into an in-depth conversation with Ethan about his business dealings and the stock market.

I talked with Alison and Austin about how Edward was going to be with me on the red carpet, but as a member of my team and not my boyfriend. That way he could be near, but no one would suspect anything.

This was just what I needed. I needed a quite night with friends to forget about the stress that was waiting for me in just a couple days.

…rep…

Edward found me on the couch in the living room early Sunday morning. I had brought out my first Oscar and set him on the coffee table in front of me. I had been staring at it for about an hour before Edward got up.

He didn't say anything, he just came and sat next to me. He leaned back and put an arm around my shoulder without a word.

"I want to win," I blurted out. Edward's head turned toward me as I continued. "I know it's egotistical to think I deserve another. I should be happy with one. I'm young, I have time to make more movies and get more awards. But I want one for this movie."

"This one is all you. You wrote most of it yourself. You made the music. It's your story. You can't tell Emmett or Jasper, but I've spent some time searching the internet about tonight. Your name has come up quite a bit as a leader in who will win."

I wanted to take comfort in that, but I couldn't. Things were too unpredictable. Most people usually just mentioned my name to get more clicks on an article.

"No matter what, you put out an incredible film. You should be proud."

I looked over at Edward and smiled. "And you'll be there to make me feel better after I lose?" I asked him.

"Win or lose, I'll always be there."

The rest of the afternoon went by too quickly. A team of stylists surrounded me nearly the second I got out of the shower, and I haven't had a moment alone since.

Kate got here early and began prepping Edward for what he could expect. Heidi and Claire, my publicist, got here not long after her and began prepping me about what I should expect.

Edward found me around one and tried to get me to eat something, but I was too nervous. I could eat later.

Time seemed to move at light speed the rest of the afternoon. I got more panicked as we got closer to the time to leave. Not panicked about the ceremony, but the red carpet.

The last time I was on one wasn't pretty. Images of Kate hovering above me, covered in my blood, flashed through my mind.

Fuck, why did I agree to this?

I looked at myself in the mirror after my stylists had helped me into my dress. It was a nude color, and from a distance it might look like I was naked, but I liked the symbolism. This movie bared my soul to everyone, so it was kind of fitting.

The dress covered nearly every inch of my skin; it had a high neckline and long sleeves, but the nude sequined lace looked nearly see through on the hanger. Of course, I was wearing nude under garments to cover the important bits, but they were practically invisible.

I must have spent too long looking at myself, because Edward knocked on the door. "Bella?"

"Come in," I told him.

He looked magnificent. Edward in a tuxedo was a sight to behold. His black tuxedo was classic and I knew he would blend in fine in the crowd. His hair was still out of control, but I liked it.

"You're… breathtaking." He told me. He took my hand in his and made me twirl, his eyes taking in every inch of my dress.

"You do seem to be missing something, though."

That made me frown. I looked down; I had heels on, my hair was pinned up in another intricate knot to disguise my short hair, and my makeup was flawless.

I looked back at Edward and saw he had a shiny black box in his hands. Oh.

"You didn't have to…" I started to say, but Edward opened the box and revealed the most gorgeous pair of diamond earrings I had ever seen. Each had a cluster of a few diamonds flowing up, they would look like a mini cuff on my ear. Then there was a single teardrop shaped diamond hanging down.

Edward ignored my protest, took the earrings out of the box and handed them to me. I quickly hooked them in my ears, and Edward pushed my hair back slightly so he could see them.

"Beautiful," he told me. His eyes shimmered with love and I had to force myself not to cry. Chrissy would kill me if I ruined my makeup already. "I know I won't have much time to see you once we leave, so I'm going to tell you this now."

I nodded and he continued.

"I love you. I'll love you if you win tonight, and if you don't. I'll love you if you trip on the red carpet and if you forget the words on stage. But I'm so goddamn proud of you. You're standing here even though I know you're terrified to go out there. You're the strongest woman I have ever known."

I squeezed my eyes shut, forcing the tears to back away. "You couldn't have said all of that before I got my makeup done?" I asked with a little laugh. I wanted to kiss him. I really wanted to kiss him, but I couldn't.

Things moved at light speed again, and before I knew it I was sitting in a line of cars waiting to be dropped off at the carpet. Kate was with me, but Edward had gone ahead with Heidi and Claire. They would be there when I got out.

"This is it." I told Kate.

She gave me a smile. "This is it." She agreed.

"I'm so fucking nervous. I don't remember being this nervous last time." I told her, clutching my stomach that felt like it had someone doing summersaults in it.

"That's because this one was all you. You made the movie, you were the movie. It's more personal."

I frowned. "When did you get so wise?"

"Time off has done me wonders," she said with a smile. She did look pretty happy.

The car came to an abrupt stop and there was a soft tap on the window. Fuck.

The door opened slowly, and the rumble of the crowd creeped in. I took the outstretched hand of the valet opening the door, and plastered on the best smile I could manage.

There was a fan stand on either side in front of me, and a sea of reporters filled the center walkway. I kept a smile on my face and gave a small wave to the people in the stands. Heidi and Claire were immediately next to me, and I saw Edward standing next to Ben and Eric.

Edward told me he had them following us all through our vacation. I recognized Ben, of course, from the night of the shooting. I didn't put up a fight when Edward requested they be here, too.

I was ushered through the press line by my team, and I felt Edward's warm hand on my back, leading me through the throng of people.

"We're not doing red carpet interviews," Claire whisper-shouted in my ear. Thank God.

We were surrounded by chaos. I could hear my name being said by reporters as I walked past, but I never stopped to look at them. Once one got my attention I would have to stop for them all.

A few people stopped and gave me kind smiles while they were in the middle of interviews, but Heidi and Claire kept me moving.

Things were a little calmer when we got to the backdrop for pictures. I didn't spend much time there though. Claire moved me through the line quickly, much to the disappointment of the photographers shouting at us.

We did arrive a little late, so I supposed that could be my excuse. I knew they were probably doing it so I didn't get too overwhelmed, though.

Heidi and Claire went with Edward to my dressing room backstage and Kate walked with me to my seat. "You've got this," she whispered to me as I sat next to Austin.

"This is crazy," he whispered to me just as the host came out. Ellen was hosting again this year, and I was pretty excited about it. She was one of my absolute favorite people in this industry.

"Bella Swan made it tonight, and I think I speak on behalf of everyone in this room when I say we're happy to have you here and safe, even though you've beaten most of them out for one award or another in the past." Ellen said during her monologue. I knew about ten different cameras would be on me, so I laughed and gave a comical shrug.

Then, the waiting began. Most of the categories I was nominated in were typically saved for the end of the telecast, so I had to sit back and wait. My performance would be near the middle of the show, though. And it wasn't long until Kate found me again to pull me away to change.

It was complete madness backstage, but eerily calm in my dressing room. Edward stood in the corner, quietly watching over everything. He looked nervous, which made me fall in love with him more and then doubled my own nerves.

Kate helped me change into my performance outfit. It consisted of a body suit that cut of at my panty line. It was cream and had a simple floral leaf pattern along it. The straps covered my arm in just the right spot, and the sweetheart neckline dipped down just above my belly button. Then, at my waist, there was a belt that hooked four large panels of cream tulle around my waist that flowed to my feet.

A producer came in and told us we had five minutes before I had to be ready and my stomach dropped. Shit, shit, shit.

"You've got this, Bella." Kate told me, her arms clutching my shoulders. I took a few deep breaths and nodded.

I turned to look at Edward, and his eyes burned into mine. He didn't have to say anything, his eyes said it all. He gave me a nod and my favorite cocky smirk.

I could do this.

…rep…

Everyone was cheering around me when I entered my dressing room again. I guessed that meant the performance went okay, I couldn't remember. I was pretty sure I blacked out.

The second I was in the room Edward had his arms wrapped around my waist, squeezing me as tight as he could.

"You were amazing. That growl…"

It was my turn to smirk at him. I had been working on my vocals for the song for the past two weeks. I knew he would like the little growl.

"We've got to get you changed. There's about twenty minutes until they announce Original Song," Kate told us.

Edward let me go and people immediately surrounded me to help me change. I was back in my seat within ten minutes, sitting next to Austin.

My heart was still racing from the performance, and I knew I had a goofy grin on my face. The hardest part of tonight was over, and it went better than I could have expected, I think.

The actress who won Supporting Role last year walked on stage with the iconic envelope. She started reading the nominees, and I saw flashes of each face appear on the screen behind her.

Austin grabbed my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"And the Oscar goes to… Control, Isabella Swan."

Austin jumped up next to me and began clapping, and I sat there with my mouth hanging open for a few seconds before I was able to pull myself together.

I stood on shaky legs and gave Austin a quick hug. Bradley Cooper rushed over and held my arm as I walked up the steps. He liked to constantly remind me of the time I tripped when I won my first Oscar, so I guess this was him making up for all of the teasing.

When I got to the mic in the center of the stage and was handed that shiny gold statue my heart burst. I did it.

"Oh, wow. I just –" my voice cracked but I did my best to power through. "I put everything on the line to make this movie and album happen. Literally every single person told me not to do it," I laughed. "But I did it anyway, and it might've been stupid at the time, but it was so worth it. Um, Alison and Peter, you taught me everything I know about music and writing songs. I couldn't have done this without you. There are a million other people to thank, and I know I'll forget someone if I try to list them all. Just… thank you."

I hugged my new golden friend to my chest and was ushered off the stage. My mind was going a million miles a minute. People around me congratulated me and gave me hugs. I didn't know most of them, but I was in too big of a haze to care.

Heidi met me with a smile at the press room. I only had time for a few questions before I had to get back for the last few categories. Most of them were simple questions like how it felt to win again, and what the day had been like so far.

Heidi took my statue and promised to look after it for me. A few people reached out for high fives as I walked past them to my seat, and Austin gave me another hug as I sat down.

He lost his category, but was a gracious as ever as he clapped for the winner. This had been Austin's first movie. For him to have gotten a nomination was impressive. I knew it wouldn't be his last.

Leading Actress and Best Picture were the last two awards to be announced. I wasn't nervous anymore, though. I was high on the adrenaline from by Original Song win.

My head fell into my hands and an impressive string of curses escaped my mouth when my name was announced for Actress in a Leading Role.

I stood on even more unstable legs than before and this time Austin helped me up the stairs.

"Oh, my God," I mumbled into the microphone, holding my second statue of the night. "This is… I just…. Wow." Every single person in the theater was now standing and applauding and I was pretty sure my blush was so powerful it was visible through the inch of makeup covering my face. "I've had the honor to work with and learn from some amazing people. And I know I wouldn't be here without their guidance and friendship." I shook my head, trying to think of something better to say, but my mind was completely blank. "You've been with me through the darkest moments of my life," my voice came out in a sob, but thankfully the tears hadn't started yet. I knew there were a lot of people who were going to think I was talking about them, but Edward knew. "And you know who you are and I love you. Thank you."

I didn't have time to go through the press room again, because Best Picture was being announced next. Someone grabbed my statue from my hands, hopefully Heidi or Claire, and I was rushed back to my seat.

Austin looked at me in bewilderment and I returned the look. As they listed off the nominees for Best Picture I knew what I had to do. I had this feeling, deep in my gut, that I wasn't winning. But I also knew I wasn't done.

I hadn't thought much about what the future would hold for me. I had contemplated giving up acting completely right after the shooting, but it hadn't crossed my mind since. That wasn't an option now though.

Spotlight won Best Picture and I stood and clapped for the cast. I was truly happy for them because I knew I shouldn't win for this. This wasn't my time. Not yet.

…rep…

The next three hours were a blur. I spent a while in the press room, and took the obligatory photo with everyone who won the main four acting awards.

I was ushered around a room filled with reporters. I was hugged by every person I saw. I sat and chatted with the man screwing my nameplate to the plaque on both of my statues. Kate sat next to me for that, but I wished Edward could be sitting there instead.

Next time.

I was in a car around eleven and on the way to a nearby hotel to change for the Vanity Fair party. I didn't really want to go, but I knew I had to. Edward, unfortunately, was already at the hotel with Heidi and Claire.

He was coming to the party, though. I would finally be able to spend a little bit of time with him after this crazy, hectic night.

I tripped walking through the lobby because my eyes were glued to the two statues in my hands. Kate caught me, thankfully.

When we entered the room, everyone went completely silent. Edward was there, still in his tux, and his eyes were green fire.

He stalked toward me, and I pushed my awards into Kate's arms. Edward lifted me off of the ground, his arms tight around my waist. His lips crushed mine, but it was an odd kiss because we were both smiling too big to do much in the way of actual kissing.

"I'm so fucking proud of you," he whispered against my lips.

I wanted to kick everyone out and spend the rest of the night with Edward. I wanted to know what he had done all night and wanted to tell him about mine, but that would have to wait.

We got separated after that because I was led into a bedroom to change into my final dress of the night. It was similar to my original in that it had a high neckline and long sleeves, but the beaded and woven detail stand out against the soft fabric of this one. It was a neutral gold, just like my two new statues.

Edward and I got to ride together on the way to the Vanity Fair party. When the car stopped and it was time for me to get out, I made an impulsive decision. I was too deliriously happy to care much, though.

"Come with me." I told Edward, a giant smile plastered on my face.

"I'll meet you inside." He told me with a smirk.

"No, come with me, now. This is probably the biggest night of my career. I don't want to meet you in the corner of the party. I want you by my side." I held out one of my statues to him. "You hold one, I'll hold one."

"Bella, there's a line of photographers –"

"I know. I don't care."

Edward gave me an incredulous look, but eventually he grasped the statue out of my hand.

It took some maneuvering, but Edward switched spots with me so he was out of the door first. Ever the gentleman.

Once he was out, his hand reached out for mine and he helped me out of the car. Claire was already there and looked at me like I was insane, but I just shrugged.

This was my night. I was going to do what I wanted.

…rep…

"Now, you have three. Three Academy Awards. How does that feel?" Ellen asked me.

I relaxed back in comfortable white chair and smiled. "Not real. I don't think it's really sunk in yet. Probably because of the exhaustion," I laughed, but it was completely true. I had been up over twenty-four hours, but it was worth it.

Edward and I caused a bit of a scene at the Vanity Fair party, and I was going to have the picture of him smiling down at me, an Oscar in each of our hands, framed. I had never seen either of us so happy.

I dodged questions about him for the rest of the night and into the next morning, but it wasn't hard. I had a lot of other things to talk about.

This was my last stop, talking to Ellen on a special live episode of her show.

"You looked gorgeous last night, you had quite a few different dresses. This was my favorite." On the screen behind her, a picture of Edward and I on the red carpet at the Vanity Fair party popped up.

I laughed. "I liked that one too, it kinda matched the awards, you know?" I said seriously.

"Now, who's that handsome fella holding one of your awards?" She asked me with a smirk.

I just shook my head at her. "You're the only person I'm going to let get away with asking that and not give you a snarky remark."

"You had an amazing response when someone asked you that on the Today Show. Absolutely amazing!"

A clip started to play behind us. The woman interviewing me brought up Edward and wouldn't stop pushing the subject. Eventually I got fed up and said "I just won two Academy Awards. I have more important things to talk about other than who's arm I was on last night."

"You know, Ellen, some reporters just don't get the hint when you don't want to talk about something." I told her.

"Well, you definitely did have more important things to talk about. Last night was phenomenal for you. I'm so proud of you, the film and album were amazing." Ellen told me with sincerity.

I smiled at her. "Thank you."

The camera's stopped rolling and I slumped back in the chair.

"Are you done after this?" Ellen asked me.

"Yes, finally. I don't know if I've ever been this tired."

The only thing that motivated me to get up was knowing my next stop was my own bed. Hopefully with Edward in it.

A/N: Thank you so much for the response to the first chapter! I'm so glad you guys are liking it so far.

I know it has been a lot of 'Hollywood' these first two chapters, but that's it for a while. See ya next time!