Cress's POV
"Okay, if you ever need anything-"
"Dad, I fully understand."
"But if you ever need to call me-"
"I have you on speed dial and you've made me memorize your number over three times. I know, dad. I will." I gently tug my dad out of my small dorm room, giving him an exasperated smile. I knew he was only fretting for the best, in which I really did appreciate, but he could be too overprotective at times which was tiring.
Knowing he was stressing me out and not wanting to push my anxiety to its limits, he turned around to face me. His cheeks touched his wide-speckled glasses as he gave me a sad smile. It almost made me want to cry. No more frequent father-daughter small dates and movie Fridays. No more cuddling with my cat Buttercup. No more old friends at my old school - we all knew that when summer passed and fall came that we would lose touch anyway. The only thing I had left was Little Cress, my small Apple laptop that had been apart of me since my homeschooling days.
"Okay," I could hear a faint sniffle. "I'm just going to miss you a lot back in Wisconsin, sweetheart. Make sure to call me every single day."
"Or FaceTime?" I perked up, trying to lighten his melancholy mood.
"And FaceTime," he wistfully smiled. "Just know that-"
"I'm always here when you need me." I playfully rolled my eyes, my higher pitched voice chiming in with his deep one. "I know, dad."
"Well," he shrugged. "I really am and will always be here for you. Goodbye my Crescent-moon."
I smiled. "Same over here, dad. Goodbye!" I gave him a kiss on the cheek before watching him leave, shutting the door behind him. It was bittersweet in a way. I didn't want to picture the image of my dad flying on the airplane from California back to Wisconsin. I did not want to picture the thought of my dad roaming around that empty house of ours all alone by himself. I had tried countless of times to get him set on dates just so he would not be alone when I left for college. But it never happened. I was everything to him, because I was the only piece of family he had left. And he was the only family I had ever known. I could already picture the restless and sleepless nights from not only studying but of crying. I already felt sorry for whoever my roommates were, knowing they would become annoyed of my sniffles and whimpers at midnight due to being homesick.
I snapped out of my thoughts abruptly, hearing loud knocks on my door. Before retreating to open it, I realized I had been subconsciously holding my Virgin Mary pendant while I was lost in the thought.
This should be my roommates I thought, internally cringing and panicking inside. I was nervous. Would they like me? Me, a petite and shy girl from the Midwest? Would they end up not liking me? Would we spend everyday avoiding each other? God, that would be so awkward. Would I fulfill their first impression expectations? Did they have a complete different picture of what I looked like in their heads? Trying to calm the shaking in the hand I had outreached to the door, I twisted it open to see my two new roommates.
Both of them stood side by side. The one on the left caught my eye the most: she had rich, dark brown skin and blue braids. Her attire looked like something only a fashionista would pick out - something that was out of my budget. She was slim and tall with curves in all the right places.
To the right of her was a girl that looked more⦠simplistic. Less frightening, if that made the slightest sense. She had on a brown tank top that did not help accentuate her tan skin along with blue jeans and a messy bun. She even had a grease stain on the left side of her cheek. Girls like the one with the blue braids belonged on the cover of the magazine or was found on social media to have thousands of followers. It made me feel more insignificant than I already felt around people. It was girls like her that gave me anxiety unintentionally. At least I could breathe around this girl, who didn't seem like she would be the type to judge her on her choice of clothing and offer to do her makeup and pick out clothes like she was a charity case.
I quickly stood by the now widened door, giving them space to move in with their luggage. I felt bad for quickly judging them based upon their appearances, something I never wanted anyone to do to me. There was one scripture I swore to live by:
Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.
In other words, the Golden Rule.
But a part of me couldn't help it. It was my over-functioning brain reaching its heights to give me a reason not to necessarily like them, but to be wary and cautious. It was jumping to conclusions that often gave me problems upon unnecessary problems, that gave me even more insignificant yet complicated anxiety. It was the unintentional judging that strung along with these first impression assumptions that made me absolutely drained.
I hoped I did not stare at them too long.
I hoped I didn't make them uncomfortable.
I hoped my smile wasn't too forced or creepy. I wanted to give out the impression that I very friendly. Because I was. I wanted to prove it.
I silently took a deep breath like my father used to train me to do. My grip tightened on the doorknob. I could feel it getting sweaty and itching to slip from it.
Luckily, I did not have to worry about breaking the social barrier.
"Hi!" The blue-braided girl exclaimed, stopping in the middle of the dormroom. "My name is Iko, and this is Cinder." She gestured to the girl that was standing behind her now.
Cinder gave a small, tired smile. "Hi," she murmured softly.
Friendly enough.
"What's your name?" Iko piped up cheerfully after she and Cinder adjusted a bit in their dorm. They were currently walking around campus, trying to familiarize themselves with the area and looking for a nearby coffee place. I hoped they had Starbucks. Then again, this was Los Angeles. They had to have Starbucks.
I would've felt guilty and stupid about not telling Cinder and Iko my name, instead I blushed just a little. The minute Iko introduced herself and Cinder was game over for anyone but her to talk, which was something I did not mind. In fact, I liked talkative people who could hold a conversation. That meant less talking for me. Iko came across as the type who would have conversations by herself at any given moment. In a sense, she was talking to a brick wall when talking to both Cinder and I. Every once and a while Cinder would interject with a smart comment and a playful smirk. I simply fidgeted with my hands or smoothed out my perfectly fine baby blue maxi dress.
"Oh," my eyes grew wide. "My name is Cress."
"Cress?" Iko said inquisitively. "Like the moon?"
I nodded, my blonde hair moving with me. Just over the summer I made the bold decision of cutting it much to my fathers dismay and friends approval. But I felt like it was better for me and it symbolized another step towards adulthood.
"Yes. Crescent, that is."
"Oh, that's so beautiful! I have to steal that name when I have a daughter one day!" Iko clapped while Cinder rolled her eyes. "Isn't her name pretty, Cinder?"
Cinder nodded. "Yes, yes it is."
"Ya know, Cinder's real name is-"
"Iko, don't."
Iko patted Cinder's shoulder. "Right, sorry."
Iko soon found another topic to rumble on about, but I could not help but ponder what Cinder's "real" name was. Her reaction wasn't your typical "it's-embarrasing-and-I'd-rather-not-say" type of thing. It was more of a "I-don't-want-to-think-about-that-cursed-name."
Nonetheless, I proceeded to feign obliviousness to it, keeping it stored in my brain on "things not to bring up but never forget."
I would come to have a lot of those.
