So now, here I am lodged between an old green fence with peeling pain that scratched my hands and a smelly garbage can, hoping to find some solitude. I finally let out a breath and a little puff of white hair escaped. A part of me knows I'm not going to escape tonight. He's going to catch me and make me wish I never thought of leaving him but even as I cry I'll think I deserve it, even if its just a little bit. Of course, every fiber of my being hopes that he goes easy on me or that I really do get away. I had gone over to my house the other night to collect the money my parents left weekly for me to survive on my own and bought a ticket out of town. There was no point in me running away and staying in Karakura because once he noticed I was gone, he would tear through this little town until he was positive I wasn't there. So I had a ticket to the next town over, and about $100 sitting in my pocket. I didn't leave with anything because its hard to run from someone with a backpack on. Plus, most of the stuff at his place was bought by Ichimaru himself. I wasn't joking when I said he was loaded; although I had my fair share of money, Gin had come into his inheritance from both his parents and his grandparents a long time ago. They were very "old money" and he felt that as my lover and self-elected guardian, he should buy everything for me. I used to make a fuss about this but eventually gave up. He never listened to me when I scolded him for buying me a new jacket or pair of sneakers. Ichimaru would just smirk and kiss me until I forgot what I was so angry about while secretly taking my measurements, plotting about the next ridiculously expensive outfit he would be buying. Hence, I didn't want to take anything he'd bought me. He'd use it against me when I would finally call him, saying things like:

"Ahh but Hime, yah ran off with all the things I bought yah and my heart. Makes yah seem like a gold-digger, ne?"

Or

"It don't matter no how, I know yer comin' back. Yah got $1000 worth of my clothes on yer back and I know just how much yah hate expensive gifts."

And I would feel cheap and opportunistic even thought I knew I hadn't asked him to buy me anything in the first place. Just thinking about him gives me a headache and suddenly I wanted to cry. Right at that moment, a figure walked past the houses and my mouth snapped closed. It was Gin, I'd know that lithe figure anywhere. He was wearing loose dark blue jeans with black lace up boots, a thick ivory turtleneck sweater and a black leather jacket that hung to the back of his knees. I wanted to go over there and scold him for not wearing a hat in this weather but scoffed in my head at the thought. I would make it over there, open my mouth to yell at him and end up face down in the snow as he dragged me home. He stopped, looking between the houses for a second before moving on. Quietly, I stood up and began to tiptoe away from the garbage can- shouting for joy in my head, thinking I got away- when my purple sweater snagged on a loose fence wire, ratting the entire gate and I froze in fear. "Shit! Hopefully he thinks it's a raccoon or the wind and keeps moving…" No such luck. When I peaked an eye open he was at the mouth of the alley again and this time his eyes were open and I could see the red of them glinting in the moonlight. No one moved and my heart seemed absolutely still until he shifted as thought he were about to lunge at a wild animal. Skittish and on edge from the look in his eyes, I took off, flying over the fence and dashing away from the houses onto the next block. I couldn't hear him behind me but I knew he was there. I could go left or right but the streets were too dark and if he were lurking on the street corner, by the time I saw him, I would already be caught. The only way to out run him was to keep hopping into small spaces his body couldn't fit. There was a clatter and my head whipped to the left. I only saw a flutter of black leather because I took off in the opposite direction faster than I knew my legs could move.

"Toshiro…I do not have all night for this. You are making things worse, you know that don't you?" he called out from behind me in his smooth, angry voice.

There wasn't even time for me to think about answering as I met a dead end. On instinct I turned to the left and ducked under another fence with a hole in the bottom, which lead to a large empty lot. My head tried to turn in all directions, looking for a spot to hide, a mob of concerned residents or Gin. Which is why I didn't notice him until I slammed right into the middle of his rock solid chest. I reeled back quickly but he was faster and he snatched the back of my hair forcing me to look up at him.

"And look at what I've caught. Tell me, Toshiro, what did you aim to accomplish by pissing me off?" his grip tightened in my hair and I hissed.

"G-Gin let me go-" the slap sounded hollow in the middle of the empty lot with nothing to echo off of. I gasped and reached up to touch my face when he slapped me across the other cheek. "Ah! Stop it, Gin!"

"Were you going to run from me again Toshiro? How many times must I tell you that you will not get away. How far were you going this time? Hokkaido? China? The States?" he snarled into my ears. His long fingers curled around my neck and he squeezed until I saw stars. "What I don't understand is why you don't plan better. Its almost like you keep failing just so I'll hurt you. Is that it, huh Toshiro, do you want me to hurt you?"

"Y-you know I don-n't want that Gin! Please, let go!" I tried to speak but the added strain made it feel like my throat would pop. He let go and back handed me, this time reaching down to punch me in the stomach before I fell to the floor gasping. Shaking the stars from my eyes I looked up as he squatted in front of me so we were eye to eye.

"Mah so pretty Toshiro. Such white hair and big sea green eyes…" he said mockingly then took a deep breath. "We are going to go home now and I am going to punish you. Again. Because for some reason, you like to see me angry. But maybe, if you tell me where you were going, right now, I wont mess up that pretty face, ne?"

"Gin, I'm sorry," I blubbered, biting my own tongue in my haste to explain. "Please, I didn't mean to hurt you. I love you. I'm so, so sorry… I just had to get away. Just for a little while, I was going to come back!"

"Shut up!" he roared " That's is not what I asked you, now is it? Lets try this again. Toshiro, where were you going tonight?"

Fat tears rolled down my face. I couldn't tell him because she'd be in more danger than me if he knew "I-I cant tell you. I want to, but you're gonna hurt them if I do…"

"And I'm going to hurt you if you don't. Last chance Toshiro. No? Okay then." Ichimaru smiled tightly then punched me across the face, splitting my lip. I screamed but he put his hand over my mouth tightly. "Bite me, and it'll be even worse when we get home." His hands rummaged through my pockets and inside my sweater and into my jeans where he found my ticket. "Ahhh! Seretei…going to see little Momo, yes? That bitch knew you were coming too, didn't she!"

"Gin…don't do anything to her. This was my decision. I'm begging you…just let me go, please just for the weekend. I'm gonna come back." I whispered. He only laughed and punched me in the stomach again. That's when I blacked out.

By the time I woke up, we were in his BMW, and the cool black leather seats felt good on my steaming face. I mumbled his name trying to grab his arm but he brushed me off. I couldn't find the strength to fight him. My body felt like it had been hit by a Mack truck, my face aflame and oddly heavy. I started crying again in utter despair and my last feeble attempt to escape was thwarted as he locked the doors when I tried the handle. Slowly, the bright street lights of Karakura Town faded and were replaced with black ghoulish outlines of trees covered in all white. After about five minutes we jerked to a stop. I was left in the car until he came around to my side and hoisted me out bodily, tossing me over his shoulder. The cry of a wounded animal tore from my lips as his sharp bones jarred my bruised stomach.

The house was almost just as I left it, except for an overturned coffee table and broken mirror, no doubt casualties in Ichimaru's rampage when I was nowhere to be found. We finally got to the bedroom and he set me down in the middle of room, ordering me to stand still. I swayed dangerously to the side but was ramrod stiff when I heard the door lock with a click. "Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr." he dragged a polished chair in front of the door and sat down with a thud.

"My little Hime. What am I going to do with you?" when I only convulsed and looked around at the floor he leaned forward, putting his elbows on his knees, head down. "Why'd yah run this time, eh?" he asked calmly.

"I was scared that I was messing things up," I said slowly. He only snorted and waited for me to continue. "I-I wanted to clear my head and figure out why I make you so angry but I had to get away first. I was going to…stay with Momo…but only for a couple of days."

"Mmmm. You needed to get away from me…two days after begging to stay when I tried to throw you out."

"Gin, there's something wrong with us, with me. I cant think clearly, I barely even know what I want anymore. I'll do anything, everything, to please you because I love you…but sometimes I fell like its all wrong…" I trailed off when he raised his head to look at me.

"Do you realize you only tell me that you love me when I'm about to hurt you? Do you think its going to save you if you throw that out at me?"

"What are you talking about! You know I love you! Do I need to say it every day, Gin, to prove it? Half the time it feels like you're not even listening to me when I do speak."

"What a bunch of bullshit" he snapped. "I'm probably the only in your whole life that truly listens to a word you say."

And it was true. I cringed and a new batch of tears rolled free. "I just wanted some space to think about us. We argue all the time about the dumbest things!" He looked at me with a sneer. "Do you really think I don't want to be with you, that I like fighting you, Gin? If I didn't love, do you honestly believe I would let you hurt me like this?"

The room was absolutely quiet for a moment and my words bounced back to me. He looked shocked, like he didn't expect me to realize that the way we loved each other was quite abnormal. But the look was gone just as quickly as it appeared.

"Well I hope you had enough thinking time in the snow for you to find out where you want to be. Take off your clothes."

"What?"

"Now Toshiro" he growled.

"Gin, please! I don't want to fight any-" I never finished my sentence. Apparently I wasn't moving fast enough because he was out of his seat instantly, and he slapped me again. "Ugh…"

My cold, wet sweater and hoodie were torn off in seconds; with all the strength I had left, I tried to worm away from him but he dragged me back and my jeans and boxers were gone in one tug, leaving me bawling, naked on the floor. He slowly shucked his own jacket and boots, but left everything else on as he hovered over me. Then, I heard his heavy leather belt slide through the loops of his jeans and suddenly every nerve in my body was hyper alert. Silently, I prayed he was taking his pants off too but I heard the hit before it even landed. The belt whistled through the air, landing on my upper thigh and I screamed so loud it would have woken the neighbors, if he had any. Again and again his powerful hits fell all over my body from my legs, to my chest, arms, stomach, hips, shoulders and neck. It seemed as though my skin were on fire, a personal hell where every time I gasped, thinking it was over, a new lash landed. "Maybe I'll die of heartbreak and be saved from this nightmare," I thought as Ichimaru grabbed one of my flailing legs, spreading them apart so he could get my inner thighs as well. And when I tried to scramble to my knees and crawl away, he caught me by my ankle and started on my back, slowly working his way down my body. I'm not sure how long it went on but I could feel the skin on the back of my arms crack and trickle blood slightly. Eventually he stopped, his ragged breathing the only sound. The belt dropped near my face and I flinched, waking out of my stupor to scamper backwards behind the bed. Plump red welts criss-crossed down my body and right below my left ribs, a purplish-blue bruise was forming on my stomach. Glancing up, I saw him looking down at me with such pain in his eyes, that to a stranger it would seem he was hurt. He leaned away, pulling his shirt over his head and his muscles rippled dangerously. Naked, he stooped down, picked me up like a bride and sat on the edge of the bed, rocking us back and forth in his lap. For a while I sat there, laughing in my head about what it took for me to stop thinking so much. Indeed, my mind was blank and I didn't know I was scratching his arms with my nails until I felt wetness beneath my fingers and he called to me gently. I looked up and he kissed me softly, like I would break. Tears spilled down my face for the hundredth time that night and I turned away.

"Sometimes I wonder if you love me at all." I whispered quietly, fearing that if I spoke to harshly, everything would fall apart. He didn't answer, so I turn around in his lap, ignoring the scorching pain, until I straddled his waist. Never breaking eye contact, I slowly slid my battered arms around his neck and pressed my face into his neck. We were pressed chest to chest and both breathing raggedly. "Do you still love me, Gin? Is this what it means to love so much it hurts…"I trailed off when his hands ran up my disfigured back.

"Silly question Hime. Yah know I love yah. Yer the only person in this world that I've ever cared about."

I pressed even closer and breathed deep, trying to get as much of his scent into my head as possible. "Then, why do we keep ending up like this?"

Another minute passed and it was so quiet I almost didn't hear him apologize. "I'm sorry Hime."

But I knew he wasn't sorry for what he had done. No, Gin wouldn't ever feel that that was unjustified. He just felt sorry that he had to do these things to me. Some part of me thought, oddly enough, that it probably did hurt him to beat me. Sometimes, he would flinched when I did, cry when I cried, scream when I couldn't. Looking into his eyes now, it was hard to tell what he was feeling so before I realized what I was doing, I leaned in to kiss him; but he slid me away. Confused and slightly embarrassed I looked down ready to cry again until I saw the problem.

"You're hard."

"Mmm. The things you do to me, Hime." He sounded like he was waiting for permission.

I thought about the situation for a minute and then kissed him deeply anyway.

Laying down across the bed, I was instantly glad we had blue silk sheets; they felt like cool water on my back. Gin gripped my thighs between his hands, sliding them open so that my hardness showed clearly. I blushed, turning away and moaning when he kissed his way down my body, stopping to suck on my nipples till they were as red as the welts on my body. Turning my head back to him, Gin swooped down and kissed me, sucking my tongue into his mouth with a moan of his own. I pushed back, swiping his mouth hoping that if I kissed him deeply enough we might stay in the moment forever. "So tight, Hime" he breath against my lips when he pressed a long wet finger to my puckered entrance. It slid all the way in, making me gasp hotly as another was soon added.

"Ahhhh! Gin..."

He hummed, kissing my neck lightly while scissoring his fingers. Then suddenly, he yanked them out and I felt myself spasm at the loss. Ramming them back in and pressing down, he quickly leaned in to swallow my screams as I bucked wildly at the rough treatment. Gin's other hand slowly slid down the ridges of my body, grazing each blister along the way, as if to sooth the pain. "Shit, oh no, no, no, no" I cried throwing my head back as his cool fingers grasped my weeping erection, pumping softly. Then he pulled away, forcing me to look up in confusion.

"Suck me."

I sat up gingerly, as not to jar my already burning body, kissed him again, biting his bottom lip before looking right into his eyes. They were slightly open and hazy, watching my every move like I might still bolt out the door. Bending over, I gripped the base of his cock and pulled up, relishing in the little gasp he gave. His cock was heavy, thick and such a beautiful angry color with a purple head that dribbled rich creamy pre-cum over my fingers; my hands shook and the thought flitted through my head that this was like holding hot coals encased in steel. Ghosting over the tip for a moment, his hands threading through my hair and giving a small tug. I obliged slowly, slipping him into my mouth and swirling my tongue around the head of his cock, all the while, pumping whatever couldn't fit in my mouth with my hands. Just when he picked up a rhythm, I dropped down even lower, pulling him deep into my throat.

"Ah shit…" he groaned in a strained voice.

Closing my eyes and swallowing, I sucked him with earnest, knowing that if he came in my mouth, it would taste better than anything in the world. Unfortunately, he pulled me up, pushing me back down flat on the bed. My legs flew apart of their own accord and he smiled at me as he set my ankles on each shoulder. With one hand he held my hip in a vice grip and the other, he guided himself to my entrance. Every time we made love, I felt an apprehension before he pushed into me, fearing for a second that he would never be able to fit, but when he did I sighed in relief.. He didn't stop until his balls slapped against my ass, and I felt his soft pubic hairs tickle my skin. "So fucking tight." Gin groaned, pulling out till only the tip of his cock was in me then slammed back in quickly.

This was it. At this moment, I could forget our problems, forget my fears about our relationship and flow in the tide of emotions that Gin stirred in me. I didn't care that the cuts on my arms were reopening or that my stomach was crying out at the position I was in as my muscle rippled underneath bruised flesh. I didn't even care that Gin had been the one to do this to me. Perhaps, we would talk about it in the morning, if ever at all, but as of now I was reminded of how perfect it felt to be with him. We were too in sync. In fact it was slightly creepy how we moved like perfect puzzle pieces, moaning when the other groaned, snapping my hips back when he pounded into me. If I reached up to cup his face, he leaned down to kiss mine.

The pace started to get a little erratic eventually. I could feel my balls tightening and I knew he was close too. I pulled furiously on my dick, swirling my thumb over the slit as Gin pulled me even closer, pounding into me with a vengeance and I squealed, rocking my head from side to side. When he batted my hand away, slipping a nail into the slit of my cock and choked out "You'll always be mine, Hime no matter how far you run," I came with a strangled sob, snapping up straight to press my forehead against his own. He leaned down pressing his teeth into the side of my neck and groaned, me clamping down on his cock, shooting thick ropes of cum onto his belly and mine as he exploded in me. Our hearts slowed and he pushed me down again, pulling out to smirk when I shuddered, his hot cum running down my ass into the sheets. I let him gaze for a while, then pulled him down, our chest pressed together.

"I wasn't running, Gin. I love you to much to leave you, no matter how much you try to deny it." I breathed on his lips.

He smiled again "I never denied it fer a minute Hime, I know yah wont leave."

I fell asleep to a shower of kissed across my face and shoulders, snuggled into his chest with my arms around his neck and strong, thin arms encasing my waist. The last words I heard were "I love you too," and that night, I didn't dream, I just let the soft thump of Ichimaru's heart lull me to sleep.