TITLE: What's Love Got to Do With It?

CHAPTER: 2, We Must Try to Ignore That it Means More Than That


I kicked the covers off, flipped on my back, my left side, stomach, and right side. Then did it again in the other direction. Doesn't matter. I cannot get comfortable. I tried just focusing on the familiar sound of his snoring. Didn't help. How many times have I slept naked in my life? Zero. Probably long enough ago that I can't possibly remember. The scratchy sheets, the blanket, and the stuffy room make me feel trapped and vulnerable. Sleeping naked is probably nothing to him. The shower? That was fun. Fun for a lotta reasons.

The things I've seen. The things I've done. He doesn't judge me. Just takes me as I am. He's a straight up guy. A family man. And I'm just a killer who couldn't save his own wife and abandoned his son. Can I trust this thing between us? He takes it for granted. This level of intimacy is normal in his world. How dare he sleep soundly while I'm uncomfortable? I'll try laying on my back again. Maybe if I stare at the ceiling and count death claws or something. My skin felt dry and itchy. I want to get dressed. We need to be outside where you can see the enemy coming not laying here waiting for the next Raider to show up. 'Cause you know they will.

James is moving, and I should apologize for keeping him awake. He deserves this night. Now I've spoiled it. He isn't just moving to change position…well, he is changing position, but he's…

"What the...? Fuck! What are you doing?"

"Giving you a good reason to thrash around," his voice rumbled from under the blankets.

His hands are on me, with one arm around my hips the other wrapped around my dick. He wished me a good morning just before taking me into his mouth. He's so polite. My hips rose off the bed with the upward sweep of his hand. Soft and wet he lowered his mouth over me.

"James! Oh, shit! We don't… Not clean… Stop."

As usual, he ignored my orders. His tongue strokes me in long slow movements. No one has ever touched me like this. There's a difference between the rough touch of his tongue and the slick tight skin of my dick. I want to rub against the delicious friction of his tongue. The sucking motions pulled the blood from my body, and I'm not just hard, but pulsing like a plasma rifle.

Hot. So hot. So different than last night. I'd hardly had a chance to understand what happened when I came inside him. His mouth is like a furnace, wet and so fucking hot.

My hands find their way into his hair. He doesn't fight me when I begin to push. I'm probably choking him, but he's taking me deep. It's like fucking a woman only much different. A woman could never hold me this close or move with the sure knowledge of just how to make me…I think I'm going to scream. I can feel it rising in my throat.

Sex in the Commonwealth is whatever you can get done with clothes on and at least one hand on a weapon. Not like this. Never like this. Sweat bloomed over my skin, and I shivered with reaction. I wanted to roll him underneath me and fuck his mouth into the mattress.

I'm helplessly chanting his name. My hands are fisted into his hair, and he is in control of every breath I take.

Then he slowed down, torturing me with languid strokes like he's got all day and I lose my mind. My pleas of, don't stop are ignored. He's moving again, kneeling between my thighs and hooking my legs over his shoulders. Any control I thought I had disappeared. It's his mouth and his hands, and I'm trapped between them.

His thumb scraped across the crease of my ass, and the all the air is sucked out of the room. My feet find some purchase on the mattress, and I begin to push up into him. He took me. Swallowed me. While a blinding white heat burned across my vision. The need for release ripped through me, and I pushed up with my heels. When I come down, it's to the sweet pain of his fingers inside me.

"James!"

The initial burn turned into a driving need for more. Each push up with my heels earned me his fingers deeper inside. Until… shit… his entire hand might be inside me, for all I know and all I can do is drive myself against him. I'm pumping like a mad man, and stroke for stroke he stayed with me.

It's all bound up in this man. All the first times are him. I pushed up helplessly, reaching for the release. He moved his fingers, curling them into me and sent me into the stars.

It fucking hurt. Then it didn't, and it came with a force that drove thoughts and breath from me. Everything narrowed down the final release into his mouth. The scratchy sheets and stuffy air disappeared. I'm blind to everything but him. I felt him swallow. His fingers relaxed.

I'm dying.

It's a slow ride back down to earth. When I can think again, I managed to get my hands up to the head resting on my belly. His short hair tickled my palm. I felt him sigh, and his warm breath floated across my skin.

Naked wasn't so bad.

"How…why…shit, James. What did you do to me?"

He chuckled. This time, his breath tickled and my hips jerked. While I waited for his answer, he kissed his way up my chest until he covered me. Propping himself up on his elbows he kissed me, swirling his tongue into my mouth so I could taste myself.

"I don't know anything. Just did what… I guess. I just did what I always wanted my wife to do."

"If she loved you, then why…?"

"Because a lady doesn't… It's something that doesn't exist anymore." His fingers moved across my lips, shushing me. "The why is because you are the most important thing in is the world. I wanted to say thank you for saving my life, for sticking by me. Teaching me how to live. And that's how I know I'm in love with you. And that's just crazy…"

It was my turn to shush him. "This is a crazy world where anything is possible. If you and I are possible, then I want more. I want it all. I want to walk the Commonwealth by your side and say, I love you, too."

The shine of tears in his eyes held my gaze. He's still hard and heated like a branding iron on my hip. Before he has time to say no or some other unselfish thing. I wet my hand and spread my legs. Then I shoved my hand between us and guided him into me. My heels were still on the bed so I lifted us up, and when I came down, his forward motion slid him inside me. His head fell back, and he swore.

When I ordered him to fuck me, he obeyed. Then he braced himself and began to move. Yes, this is what I want. Corded muscles clutched at me. Calloused hands dug into my neck to slant my head so he can kiss me. This is more than a kiss. He's fucking my mouth with the same rhythm of his body pounding into me.

Too shy to admit it, I've always thought he was handsome. This is different. This is a side of James, I've never seen. His eyes are wild and glassy. His sweat mingled with mine until we're sliding against each other. His body seemed to move on its own as he thrusts himself into me.

"Harder…"

He answered my plea, by pinning my arms above my head and shoving my legs apart. His handsome face changed. Breath in heated pants, his movements became jerky and urgent. What I can't feel I can see as every muscle in his body rippled to the point of our joining. His orgasm tore a sob from his throat, and he buried his face in my neck.

I love him.

I'm I the only one who doesn't know about this intensity? This raw power of our naked joining or the invasive intimacy? I thought of all the things he'd done in the Commonwealth. So many good things. He entered this world a stranger and now he's a hero and he brought me with him.

He's still draped across me when I finally opened my eyes. The room is dark and quiet.

In the doorway, a shadow moved into the dim light.

James raised his head and grinned at me. "I love you."

A pulse of fear throbbed through me. Not now. Please, not now.

"I love you, too. Forever." I cupped his face with my hands to keep him from turning his head at the faint sound of footsteps. I wrapped him in my arms and legs. I couldn't get close enough to him. A tear slipped down my face and trickled into my ear.

The shadow moved again.

Can't we stay just like this? Forever? No worries. No hunger. No danger? I know better, I'm not a child. I'm not anything really. Just his. He loves me. I swallowed hard and held him still.

I'll give the Gunner credit for his aim. When the spike went through James' back, his expression never changed. It must have gone straight through his heart. In the second longer, it took the homemade weapon to find my own heart, I got to see the love shining from his eyes one last time. Blood, warmed with passion pooled under my back. It buoys me.

That look and the gift of his passion are mine to keep, and I'll hang on to the memories as long as I can. No Gunner or Raider can take it away from me. I don't know what waits for us on the other side. I do know he'll always be there for me. And I will always watch his back and hold his head when he takes too many drugs. Again.

I love you, James. And that's a forever promise.


Continue to chapter three for the alternate ending