Bill and Lance snapped out of their drug-induced trance once the door's opening allowed some of the smoke out of the room. They were finally sober enough to blow shit up with their big ass gun and so they did. As with everything else, a few shots to the core caused a massive explosion that took out a nearby soldier. As they passed him, they noticed that he was just an American Sergeant, probably here to attend to Reagan or train the soldiers. It was kinda of sad that he had to take the fall until they saw that he was Oliver North, slimy bastard. Filled with determination once again, they charged into the horror awaiting them.
Inside was a living hell beyond their worst nightmares, red white and blue blood flowed below them mixing in and out of many shades and the ground, a mixture of human, alien and machine, pulsed at their every movement. Two final supply capsules floated above them and they shot them down in unison providing them with flamethrowers, an excellent choice seeing the fleshy surroundings. The first hostile they encountered was a yellowish-reddish curled up alien. It was strange and foreign in everything from its look to its movements but seemed to be slightly familiar. Then they realized that the red and yellow markings formed a hammer and sickle, it was made to mock them. They shot it with rage and ran furiously gunning until they hit an impassable wall of metal eggs, all cracked and hatched, and looked up, Ronald Reagan's reptilian head had grown to massive proportions. They stepped back in fear and Ronald Reagan asked "How did you like the new alien design?" as more of them spilled from his mouth. In defense, they blew a few fireballs that corkscrewed hitting the aliens but also hitting Ronald. Agitated, he sputtered "How dare you! My teeth shred you like Fawn Hall shreds documents!" and they were off, he released more aliens from his mouth but the fireballs burnt right through their bodies and into Ronald's. There was no way he could win and after a fruitless effort, his head erupted into flames and fell into the eggs, crushing them. As the wall fell, they saw that they were not done with their battle, giant mouths spewed ball lighting at them which they were a pain to dodge due to it magnetically homing on their guns. As they near the end of this gauntlet, a pink blur ran toward them only nearly falling to their fire before it reached them. It was a small ugly and hostile slimy spidery baby, sorta like a politician. From what they recognized before, this meant that they were approaching another boss, but if Ronald was dead, who or what would it be? After they burnt more of them to the ground and they stepped into a room of metal eggs once again, they found their answer. It was Ronald Reagan's cold heart connected by flashing veins to four alien nests. Of course, his body was just a pawn for the darkness that inhabits all of politics and this operation was to give it more scandalous blood so it could produce more slimy politician babies and start the process over again. They had to stop this for the good of the world and the universe. Setting their flamethrowers to full blast, they thawed the heart until it was weak enough that its own heavy sins collapsed it, ending this tragedy for good. The world was finally saved from the evil of politics or was it?
A small pink alien scuttles through a crack in one of the egg into the safety of a sequel. Tune in next time for more mildly sensationalized coverage of the Iran Contra affair.
