Author's Note: I always thought the premise behind King Lear was a little shaky, and I'm afraid I wasn't able to make it overly plausible in this version either. I had to expand a lot of parts to get all the background exposition in, but I also simplified and shortened other aspects of this scene to balance that out. The next scene is better… I hope.

King Bowser

Act I. Scene i.

Kamek shuffled through the empty corridor, humming to himself as he made his way towards the Throne Room. He knew it would be a few more minutes before Bowser started the ceremonies – provided all the Koopalings made it there on time, of course. Kamek laughed at the thought: never, in all his years of service, could he remember all if Bowser's children arriving on time for anything, no matter how important it was. Though if there ever was a time to be punctual, it would be now.

The borders hadn't changed since Bowser had taken over both the Mushroom Kingdom and Sarasaland a few years back, once Mario and Luigi got tired of stopping him on a daily basis, and moved back to Brooklyn. Even then, Bowser (following Kamek's advise) bided his time – waiting for everyone to stop anticipating his next attack, and waiting for Peach's father to die, since he knew she'd be an easier conquest. By the time the Mario bros. got wind of Bowser's latest, greatest invasion, it was too late. They could've defeated him if they wanted, but just as Kamek had predicted, Peach stopped them; she was tired of the constant struggle, and a peaceful surrender was far more appealing to her than a bloody victory. Eventually life returned to normal, and everyone made peace with everyone else; the few dissenters were sent away.

Kamek turned as a pair of footsteps entered the hall from one of the side-doors. He grinned, he had been expecting one of the Koopalings to be late, and as usual, he had been correct. But he had to admit, he wasn't expecting Ludwig to be the tardy one this time.

"Hello Kamek," said the eldest Koopaling, jogging up to the old Magikoopa.

"Ludwig." Kamek bowed his head respectfully, before turning to the girl at the Dragon-Koopa's heels. "And Miss Daisy too? I am surprised."

Daisy's smile was sour; she had been one of the ones who never grew complacent with the Koopa's take-over. Bowser had her sent away to Isle Delfino so that she didn't cause any trouble, and the only way she could visit the mainland was if one of the Koopalings kept an eye on her. Ludwig volunteered himself for it because he felt bad for Daisy, and he hoped that his compassion would make her realize the Koopas weren't all that bad. Kamek could tell that it wasn't working in the slightest. "I just wanted to see who got my old stomping-ground," said Daisy hotly.

"Makes sense…" nodded Kamek, as he resumed walking. He beckoned Ludwig to follow. "We still have a few minutes left, so there's no need to run."

"Better safe zan sorry," shrugged Ludwig. "But you're probably right."

"It's all a bit strange, isn't it?" said Kamek after a moment, peering up at Ludwig. "Bowser suddenly deciding to split his kingdom apart…"

"He's tired of juggling all zee territories," said Ludwig, shrugging once again. "He didn't realize zat ruling sree kingdoms vould entail so much vork. Dark Land's pretty uniform, but Sarasaland's provinces are vastly different, as are zee various districts of zee Mushroom Kingdom – er, I mean, Mushroom Land."

"So he's making you guys run it as a committee?" said Kamek, smirking.

"It vorked for Sarasaland, it should vork for us," said Ludwig, looking back at Daisy, who was lagging a few steps behind the Koopas.

"And to think people used to make fun of the fact we used a Royal Council," sneered Daisy. "They'd always joke about how committees get nothing done."

"They don't," snorted Kamek. "Magikoopa villages are run by a group of Elders, and-"

"Whatever," said Daisy, rolling her eyes.

"Maybe it's part of his plan," grinned Ludwig. "Maybe he figured vee von't be able to seize total control if vee have to vork as committees. He doesn't vant to deal vit zee papervork, but he still vants to be king, and if vee're busy squabbling over every little change, he von't have to vorry about us conspiring to cut out zee middleman."

Kamek chuckled. "That sounds a bit too devious for your father."

"Vy else vould he make us band togezzer? Iggy, Vendy, Lemmy, Junior and I are all perfectly capable of running little kingdoms by ourselves, so vy make us share vone big kingdom? Same vit Larry and Roy, and Morton and Peach."

"Maybe he just doesn't want to split things up too much?" suggested Kamek. "Dividing the kingdom back into Dark Land, Sarasaland and the old Mushroom Kingdom would be way simpler than making new borders – you know how lazy Bowser is."

"Yes, a cartographer, Fazzer is not," agreed Ludwig as they turned the final corner and entered the Throne Room. They seemed to be the last audience members to arrive, though Bowser wasn't there yet. The threesome walked to the front of the room; Kamek took a seat next to Kammy, while Ludwig joined the Koopalings. Daisy sat with Ludwig, making sure to ignore Peach, who was perched on his other side. Daisy hated Peach for surrendering; she hadn't spoken to her for years, and that wasn't about to change.

Kamek scowled as he looked past Kammy at the other occupants of the front row: Mario and Luigi. They were only there because Bowser had a soft spot for Peach: as if giving her her power back hadn't been generous enough, Bowser agreed to put Mario on Peach and Morton's committee. Kamek had begged the King of the Koopas to reconsider, since he knew it would cause nothing but trouble. He feared that together, Mario and Peach could organize a coup, and fully separate their land from the rest of the kingdom. Bowser promised Kamek that that wouldn't happen, for he was growing dangerously trusting in his old age, not like Kamek, whose wits were still about him. The aging Magikoopa managed to convince Bowser to appoint Wario to the committee as well – to offset Mario and Peach's influence. Beside Kamek, Wario was picking his nose and periodically wiping his finger on the bottom of his chair; Waluigi sat on Wario's right, and was busing himself by picking at a mole under his chin. The old wizard sighed; having the Warios on the committee was better than nothing, but it wasn't much better.

At long last, Bowser stomped into the Throne Room. Time had taken its toll on the Koopa King: his hair was grey, his scales and shell had lost their shine, and he was far less muscular than in his youth. Stifling a cough, Bowser plopped himself into his throne and glared at the crowd before him. "So… You're all here to find out how I'm gonna divide the kingdom, right?"

"Well duh," said Wendy under her breath. Fortunately for her, Bowser's hearing had also deteriorated over the years.

"Well, first you gotta prove to me that you deserve it," smirked Bowser. The Koopalings groaned and rolled their eyes. Everyone knew that Bowser had decided who was gonna get what piece of the kingdom weeks ago, and the fact that he was going to draw the formalities out was tiresome, to say the least.

"Uh… Larry. Why should I give you and Roy Dark Land?" said Bowser, arbitrarily singling out the Koopaling with the worse public speaking skills.

"Umm… well… because… uh… because… we… uhhh…."

"Close enough," shrugged Bowser, tossed a scroll of paper to Larry. Roy ripped the paper out of his brother's hand and unrolled it, peering at the map of Dark Land, with a smug look on his face.

"Now you, uh... Iggy, why should I give you lot Sarasaland?" said Bowser, waving his hand in the general direction of Iggy, Wendy, Ludwig, Junior and Lemmy.

"Because we'll be competent rulers, and because you deserve a vacation from the trials and tribulations that come from governing a land as geographically diverse as Sarasaland and-"

"Okay, okay, fine. Here's the map, now will you shut up already?" growled Bowser, chucking the Sarasaland scroll at Iggy's head.

"Now, Peach," Bowser beamed at the princess. "Why should I give you Mushroom Land?"

Peach knew that a single kind word would be reason enough. Or a smile, or a shrug. She took a deep breath, and opened her lips. "Because it's mine."

Bowser stared at her. Everyone else stared at her too. She felt her face grow hot. She didn't know why she said that.

"W- what?" said Bowser, scrunching his face up and shaking his head in confusion.

"Well, what I mean to say is that… that… the Mushroom Kingdom is mine. You invaded it – it's not yours to give back, r- really." Peach was an honest person, but she knew she was going too far. She saw the colour drain from Bowser's face. She wanted to say she was sorry – that she didn't mean to say that. That's what she thought deep down, but she truly didn't mean to say it out loud. Some things were better left unsaid, and that was one of those things. But when she opened her mouth to apologize, her treacherous voice died in her throat.

"I can't believe this," said Bowser. He closed his eyes, but he could not keep his calm. "I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!" He glared at Peach, his face flushed with rage, his eyes bright. "How could you do this to me? After all I've done for you! How could you betray me like this? HOW!?"

Peach shook her head, tears in her eyes. "I don't-"

"You don't what?"

"I don't know."

"Like hell you don't know! Why did you say those things?"

"I don't know."

"You said them for a reason!"

"I didn't mean to-"

"Oh, I think you did," spat Bowser. He pulled the third scroll out of his shell and ripped it in two, rollers and all. "You'll get nothing, Peach! Nothing!" He threw the two halves of the scroll to the Koopalings. "They'll get Mushroom Land, ya hear me?! Morton, you can join one of them. Mario, you can just be on your merry way, and so can you, Wario. And as for you, Peach, you have to go. Get out of here, now! I don't ever want to see you again!"

"Your Furiousness, please, be reasonable!" beseeched Kamek, hopping out of his seat. "I think you're overreacting-"

"Did you hear what she said?!" roared Bowser, jumping to his feet. "I gave her so much, and she threw it back in my face! What would you do? Wouldn't you get mad?"

"Yes, but-"

"Would you still give her an entire country?"

"No, but-"

"So how am I overreacting, Kamek? How!?"

"She doesn't deserve to be banished," said Kamek. "A slap on the wrist, yes, but to be kicked out of the kingdom? No! She's never spoken out before, I'm sure she didn't mean it. I'm sure she's just having one of those days, you know? Maybe it's that time of month?"

"'That time of month'? What is she, a werewolf?" said Bowser, a little confused.

"Um, no…" Kamek had forgotten that Bowser never bothered to learn about human biology, and he wasn't prepared to explain it, so he quickly changed the subject. "Anyway, it's only her first offense, can't she just apologize and-"

"No!" Said Bowser, stomping his foot emphatically. "I won't be spoken to like that by my- my…" Bowser looked at Peach, sadness clouding his vision. He snapped out of it. "By her! She has no right! Not after all I've done. And you, Kamek, why are you even defending her?"

"Because you're making a mistake," said Kamek. "You've been making a lot of mistakes recently, and I won't stand around and watch you do it again. It was a mistake to even offer her Mushroom Land in the first place; it was a mistake to let her convince you to bring Mario back; it was all a huge mistake! I knew something like this would happen, I knew it!"

"Now you're insulting me!" Snarled Bowser. "You can leave to. Both of you, out!"

"Bowser, please. You're mad at me, not Kamek, don't do this to him-"

"Shut up, Peach," growled Bowser, his eyes glued on Kamek.

"Yeah, shut up, Peach," hissed Kamek. He turned and started walking towards the door. He stopped and looked back at Bowser. "You're a fool."

"GET OUT!" bellowed Bowser.

"You'll regret this."

"GET OUT NOW!"

In a flash of light, Kamek was gone. Bowser blinked, having forgotten that Magikoopas could teleport… He shook himself out of his thoughts. "Koopalings, come with me. Everyone else, you're dismissed. Peach, you have forty-eight hours to get out of the kingdom on your own, or we'll throw you get. Mario, Luigi, you get your butts out of here too." Bowser turned and stormed towards the door, but stopped dead in his tracks as he remembered something. "Oh right, kids," he looked at the Koopalings. "Just so we don't have to have another stupid get-together, I'm gonna remind you now that even though your running the kingdoms now, I'm still the king."

"Yes King Dad," murmured the Koopalings. They already knew the arrangement, but if Bowser wanted to go over the basics, they wouldn't dare say no – not when he was such a dark mood.

"All my personal servants and things – they stay with me. But just to be fair, I'll take turns living in each of your castles, okay? Since I'm already here, I'll spend this month with Larry and Roy, and next months I'll visit the rest of you. Morton, I don't care which group you join – you can pick."

"Okay," grinned Morton, impervious to the tension in the air.

Bowser nodded, and muttered to himself, "okay," as he slouched out of the room.

As the Koopalings made ready to follow their father, Peach spoke up. "Be good to him," she said. "I didn't mean to upset him like this, believe me. This was all a mistake, and I'm sorry. Just please, please be careful."

"Don't tell us what to do," huffed Wendy.

"Yeah, he's our father, after all," added Iggy, as Larry nodded his head.

Ludwig and Junior looked apologetic as they left the room, while Daisy grinned sadistically at Peach's misery. As the rest of the audience disappeared, one by one, Mario crossed the room and put a comforting hand on Peach's shoulder. "Come with-a-us, we-a-have a guestroom you can use-a. It won't be as-a-fancy as you're used to, but it's-a-better than-a-nothing."

"Oh, Mario!" gasped Peach, jumping up and hugging her friend. "Oh! Thank you! Thank you so much!"

Iggy and Larry were the only Koopalings who hadn't filed out of the room yet, and they hung back, leering over their shoulders as Luigi joined in on the embrace. They watched in silence as Mario, Luigi and Peach made their way out of the other side-doors along with the last of the audience members. Once they were alone, Iggy turned to Larry. "Can you believe it? King Dad went ballistic! On Peach! The love of his life!"

"Yeah…" frowned Larry. "Makes you wonder what he's gonna do to us…"

Iggy's eyes widened behind his glasses. "Oh Koopa! You're right! If Peach gets banished for putting her foot in her mouth like that, imagine what he'll do to us the next time he overhears one of Wendy's little sarcastic comments. Or when Morton's chattering gets too annoying for him, or when Roy whistles that song he doesn't like…"

"I doubt he'll banish Roy for whistling…"

"Who knows what he'll do?" said Iggy, gripping Larry's arm. "And one of us could be next!"

Larry averted his eyes and bit his lip. "Maybe… Maybe we should… um…"

"'Maybe we should'… what?" prompted Iggy, who knew any plan Larry came up with would work better than the half-baked ideas kicking around in his own skull.

"I don't think King Dad's thinking to clearly… He fired Kamek…"

"Yeah…"

"He's given us all his power… pretty much… so maybe we should… I dunno… make sure he can't banish anyone else."

"How?"

"I dunno…" repeated Larry, his eyes unfocused as he pondered the problem at hand. "I'll keep a close eye on him, and make sure he doesn't get in trouble… He's really high-strung… Maybe we should try to… to… to…"

"Take him down a notch?" offered Iggy.

"Yeah!" nodded Larry, looking at his brother with a devilish gleam in his eye. "Yeah, his ego's the problem… No ego, no problem."

"He can't banish us – we've got the power now," grinned Iggy. "We can put him in his place."

"He's too old to run a country anyway…"

"You don't see people listening to Kammy's suggestions anymore!"

"Nor Toadsworth's…"

"Yeah, this'll work!" said Iggy, slapping Larry on the back.

Larry smiled at his brother. "Yeah!"