Shades of Flame
(c) 2004 by hyperdrive
No, I'm afraid I don't own the characters of Chrono Trigger. Sorry for the inconvenience. I also do not own Rosa, Golbez, Final Fantasy IV's soundtrack or characters, stage lights, form fitting leather pants, MST3K, a castle set, "Theme of Love," "Golbez, Clad in Darkness," "Cry in Sorrow," and "Prologue."
Before reading this, be warned, for while this episode contains few, if any, euphemisms, it may or may not contain: a terrible literary construction, a small amount of crude humor, a subplot purposefully going where too many subplots have gone before, suicidal bad breath, insanity, and characters temporarily out of character. Read at your own risk, and please review, lest you be eaten by a Grue. Note that Grues are (were?) copyright by Infocom, an old computer game firm that may / may not still exist.
Special Tip for this Chapter: Part of this can be very loosely considered 'songfic' material. You don't need to hear any music to enjoy this episode, but it certainly helps set the mood. If possible, try to play Final Fantasy IV's "Theme of Love," "Golbez, Clad in the Dark," "Cry in Sorrow," and "Prologue" when the episode calls for it. MIDI versions work just fine. If you've never played Final Fantasy IV, just ignore the brief references to Rosa, Golbez, and Final Fantasy IV. They aren't vital.
Your Reviews At Work: Finally, a recurrent glitch regarding Lucca's eye and hair color has been repaired. Thanks for the tip, Wing Omega!
Lucca Ashtear shook her head dejectedly. Her friends, Marle and Crono looked on sympathetically as she angrily picked up a newspaper from the table in front of her and tore it into the smallest shreds she could manage.
"Well, it could have been worse, Lucca," said Crono.
"Worse! Worse he says! Look at this! How on earth could this be worse?" Lucca held up an undamaged newspaper from the table and held it up in front of Crono.
"Demonstration of LuccaVision a Comedy of Errors," read the swordsman. "You know, I still say it could've been worse."
"Yeah?" Lucca scooped up a magazine, Science Weekly, from the table and read, "Of the LuccaVision, Dr. Von Heinrich said, "It is trash, a mere laboratory novelty item best used to entertain the weak-minded. Just the content of that broadcast says it all." Lucca tore the magazine in half, allowing the pieces to fall to the floor of her room.
When Lucca tore her favorite magazine in half, containing an article written by her favorite scientist, it was obvious that the inventor was enraged beyond belief. Marle gulped. "We could… I don't know… maybe we could try again?"
Crono's eyes widened slightly at Marle's suggestion. "I'm sure that's not necessary."
Unfortunately, it was too late for Marle to recall her statement. Already, the gears in Lucca's mind were spinning at maximum velocity.
"Of course! Since when do I, Lucca the Great, give in? Garharhar!" Lucca turned towards her workbench, where the barbecued remains of the LuccaVision camera, formerly Marle's camera, lay. "Crono, fetch me a screwdriver! Marle, could you get me some tea?"
Crono began slowly backing away from Lucca. "Um, Lucca, I don't think–"
"Crono, how much do you want a starring role?" Lucca turned to the swordsman and smiled, her normally pleasant countenance becoming somehow quite menacing.
The swordsman in question gaped in abject horror.
"I thought so. Now, please fetch the screwdriver."
"Of course," Crono replied, quickly handing her the tool.
"Calling my inventions frivolous… how dare they…" Lucca began working on the camera.
"Geez, you sound like Magus with his ego bruised," Crono muttered.
Lucca thought about that for a moment before chuckling. "He does sound that way, doesn't he?"
Marle entered the room with a pitcher of tea.
"Thank you, Marle. Now, guys, listen. We are not going to do a commercial for this new broadcast. We are going to do something more serious."
"Like a documentary?"
"That's much too dry, Crono. We are going to do something that will awaken within the audience emotion!" Lucca made a fist and punched it dramatically into the air. "I want the works! Lights! Camera! Action! I want emotion! Drama! It needs a hero, and a heroine! You see how well tickets to plays dealing with romance sells, don't you guys?"
"I think I may have misheard. You didn't say that we were doing romance, did you?"
"Your point is, Crono?"
"Heaven have mercy on our poor forsaken souls," Crono moaned.
"We could always do that documentary," said Marle hopefully.
"LuccaVision needs rave reviews. You know as well as I do that romance sells. We'll make a play of the book, Shades of Flame. It's short, popular, and I know the author personally"
"Never heard of it," said Marle.
Lucca gave the princess an incredibly sour look.
Crono shook his head. "Lucca, I would rather fight Lavos Core with a mop."
"Well, there are only two starring roles, and you don't have to get one. Ah! It was this capacitor that cookified!"
Crono and Marle looked at each other doubtfully. "Cookified?"
"This poor little guy must have died just as the water hit him," Lucca held up an empty topless cylinder, carefully roasted to an perfect golden brown. "Your sacrifice was not in vain! LuccaVision shall arise like a phoenix from your ashes, brave component!"
Marle's facial expression betrayed the fact that she was obviously unable to fathom the incredible logic behind this sort of behavior.
"Um, Lucca?" said Crono.
"Crono! This capacitor met its end to advance the cause of science!"
Crono smiled and nodded. "Ah, of course!"
Lucca replaced the part and installed batteries in the camera. Turning on a LuccaVision set resting on the bench, she activated the camera, sighing in relief as the LuccaVision displayed the camera's image flawlessly. "Perfect! Now we need to get the others!"
Crono took a deep breath, deciding that it was high time to put an end to this endeavor. He resolved to be firm and resolute. "Lucca, we should–"
"Get going. It's not even noon yet. Crono, ask Robo to come; Marle, get Frog and Ayla. I'll look for Magus."
"Lucca, I ain't doin' this!" Crono said.
"Oh?" Lucca looked genuinely hurt.
"I don't want to repeat the Masadoom incident."
"Well, Crono, we won't."
"I say we should simply ignore what the press says. LuccaVision works."
"Crono, they have affronted my honor as a scientist and inventor. You're a swordsman, so you know what I have to do."
"You can't kill the whole kingdom, Lucca."
"Stop thinking like a barbarian! I simply intend on making them eat their words, like a child being force-fed Brussels sprouts and livers! Honor must be restored civilly. Besides, if that doesn't persuade you, then I'd like you to know that I have a backup plan."
"Backup plan?" Crono said uncertainly. Lucca was wearing her patented 'either way, I win' look.
"I'm sure that with a bit of research, I can figure out how to reduce the size of a LuccaVision camera. I'm sure you don't want the world to know that you still wear Zoom Rocket footie pajamas."
"They're footsie pajamas!" Crono moaned desperately. "Alright, I'll do it!"
Lucca climbed into the Epoch with Crono and Marle, promising to drop them off, and then swing by a bit later to pick them up.
"You really wear...footie pajamas?" Marle giggled from the back seat.
"Shut up," Crono growled. "Lucca, I'm never going to forgive you for this."
The Epoch rose gently into the air with Lucca's guiding hand at the controls. "When we get the von Klopman prize or something similar, you can thank me."
"Magus'll never agree."
"We'll see, Crono."
Epoch suddenly shot forwards, vanishing from the present and reappearing in the future. After dropping Crono off, Lucca set the Epoch for 600 A.D., Frog's time period. After Marle disembarked, Lucca flew to the past, 12,000 B.C.
Magus proved surprisingly easy to find. A dark spot on the snow that perpetually covered the ground in this time period, the dark wizard stood out. Landing nearby, Lucca stepped out of the Epoch into the snow.
The wizard glanced at her briefly. "I knew you'd be back here, woman."
The slight grin Lucca had been wearing changed to her best poker face. "Hello, Magus."
"Has Marle organized another 'celebration?' Or," Magus chuckled, turning to face Lucca, "did you simply miss me?"
"Magus, I want to ask you to come and participate in another broadcast of LuccaVision."
"No." Magus turned and began to walk away.
"It'll be fun!" Lucca whined.
"FUN?" Magus momentarily lost control and spun around to face her, his cape flaring out around him. "Last time I did something you'd call fun, the entire Kingdom of Guardia was watching a toilet explode in my face!"
"Frog's going to be there."
Magus had fully regained control of himself and would not be easily baited. "Give him a starring role and he'll flush himself out of the picture."
"Magus…" There has to be a way to convince him, she reflected, completely at a loss for further persuasive techniques.
"What's it about, anyway?"
"We're going to do a play on the LuccaVision."
"That's not an answer. What kind?"
"Romance."
Magus contemplated momentarily, revealing no emotion. "How are the parts being selected?"
"We are going to draw lots."
The wizard looked out over the snow-covered plain in silence. Lucca heard him grit his teeth. "Maybe it is time to move on."
"Huh?"
Magus turned to face the inventor. The wizard's mood abruptly changed, and a cocky smirk appeared on his face. "Very well! I'll do it, Lucca."
"You can only do it if you give me your word that your performance will be up to my expectations."
Magus nodded. "Of course it will be. I'm a prince. My expectations of myself are much higher than yours could ever be."
They boarded the Epoch, Magus taking the pilot's seat before Lucca could.
"Hey!"
"Is for horses," Magus replied drolly as he strapped himself in.
Moments later, the skies of 12,000 B.C. flashed with light as the Epoch left for 600 A.D.
Unfortunately, Ayla had been off on a hunt, and Marle had been unable to find her. It was for all the better.
"Lady Lucca! What malady seized thee to permit beastly access to Epoch's controls?" Frog rasped as he, Magus, Lucca, Marle, Crono, and Robo disembarked from Epoch near Lucca's house. The amphibian knight struggled to keep his heaving stomach under control.
"He got to them before I could stop him!" Lucca protested.
Magus coughed in a painfully obviously fake manner. Fully aware that any hostile actions taken against him might crash Epoch, Magus had used Epoch as an instrument of annoyance against Frog. During his time as pilot, Epoch's cooling system had 'failed,' producing only hot, dry air through the air conditioning vents. The entire trip to Lucca's house had plagued with 'turbulence.' Frog's repeated protests had been met with much mockery.
"Frog of a clog," Magus chuckled.
Frog looked like he was ready to explode before he calmed down and countered. "This is a tool worthy of me!" he trumpeted, imitating the pomp in Magus's voice with remarkable accuracy.
Magus prepared to explode.
"Guys, pleeeeaaaasseee!" Marle moaned.
"Hey, I have absolutely no grudges against Tadpole," said Magus.
"Thank you, Marle. Magus, quit misbehaving. Alright, we are going to be doing a romance. It will be just like a play, and we will have a rehearsal before going on the air. Therefore, I expect things to go smoothly, Magus," Lucca said in her most commanding voice.
Magus shrugged innocently. "Right, Frog?"
"MAGUS!" shouted Marle.
"Anyway, we are going to LuccaVise a play of the book, Shades of Flame. It's short, easy to memorize, and has only two main characters, Jacky, the hero, and Laura, the heroine. Now, give me just a moment inside."
Lucca walked into her house, returning a moment later with a black metal can. "Inside this can are papers, cut to various lengths. I'll pass it around. Reach in, take one," she said, glaring at Magus, "without feeling around or casting an enchantment, and hold onto it. Don't show your paper to anyone, don't steal anyone else's paper, and don't trade. Oh, Crono, draw one in each of your hands, right for me, left for you."
One by one, they passed the jar around, each person putting his or her hand in and grabbing a paper, concealing what they had taken.
Finally, the papers had been alloted. As everyone took a moment to peer at their papers, Frog grinned while Magus scowled at the hidden slip in his hand.
"I'll bring the can inside," said Lucca. She turned around and walked into the house. Before she vanished inside, she called, "Everyone, show your papers to Robo. Robo, you are the best impartial judge."
Everyone gave their papers to Robo while Robo, Crono, Marle, Magus, and Frog waited for Lucca.
"Heh. Trying to compensate for something, Frog?" asked Magus.
"Perchance thy paper scrap merely mirrors a sad truth," Frog responded.
Everyone but Frog, Magus, and the absent Lucca groaned.
A spat of legendary proportions seemed inevitable until Lucca emerged from the house. "OK, Robo, shortest for the hero, longest for the heroine."
Immediately, Frog's eyes widened as he gaped with horror. Magus's left hand immediately wrapped around the wizard's throat and constricted in an almost reflexive action.
"Let's see the papers," said Lucca, ignoring Crono's struggle to stop the wizard from committing suicide.
Magus' paper was shortest, less than an inch long, while Frog's was longest, at eleven inches. Lucca's paper was slightly shorter than Frog's, while the others were shorter still.
Crono successfully pulled Magus's hand from his throat. The wizard regained his self control.
"N-no," Magus grated.
"For once, I doth find mineself agreeing with thee," gasped Frog.
Everyone but Magus and Frog burst into laughter. Magus' face grew redder and redder while Frog grew greener and greener.
"Well, you'll have the perfect opportunity to kiss and make up, won'tcha, Magus?"
"Stop it!" shouted Lucca before Magus could rip out Crono's throat. "Frog, you run the camera. I'll do it."
The word 'relief' took on a whole new meaning as Frog and Magus sighed, for the moment truly at peace.
Frog cast a critical eye on the repaired and upgraded LuccaVision camera. "Lady Lucca, please refresh in mine memory the operations of this mechanization?"
"Sure." Lucca, in the guise of the heroine Laura, began explaining the operation of the redesigned LuccaVision camera.
It was the big night of the broadcast. Lucca, Marle, Frog, Crono, Robo, and Magus had spent two weeks making sure that this broadcast would go off without a hitch. To ensure that enough people would see the broadcast to restore positive public opinion of LuccaVision, Lucca had built enough LuccaVision sets to distribute three sets to each major public meeting place within clear reception range. As before, King Guardia, Melchior, and Lucca's parents had been provided with sets. A set had also been sent to Science Weekly, though whether or not they were even going to try it out remained to be seen. As for the play itself, the scripts had been carefully studied and restudied. The actors had rehearsed their parts until they followed the script exactly. Lucca had extracted from Magus and Frog an oath not to bicker. The sets had been built and decorated just as described in the script, a task perfectly suited to Robo's unmatched construction skills and critical eye for mechanical detail. Sound effects had also been taken care of: Lucca had devised a device Robo could use to inject audio directly into the camera. Though the sets were excellent, the sound stage, the Guardia High high school theater was not ideal, as the best location for the camera, the theater's lighting control room, was too far from the stage to hear or see the play well. Lucca had compensated for the problems with...
"We are able to use this theater because of my two latest inventions: the zoom lens and the remote semi-unidirectional external microphone," said Lucca. "Just rotate this ring on the camera's zoom lens to make the set look closer or farther." Lucca demonstrated how to do this to Frog. "The remote semi-unidirectional external microphone is right there," Lucca pointed to a small black box hanging above the stage. "It is connected by a wire to the camera. Since the stage is too far away to hear anything from here, the microphone will pick up the sound at the stage."
"What might this wheel be?"
"It's the audio selector dial. It has three positions." Lucca set it to the first position. "This uses the camera's internal microphone to pick up sound. We won't be using that. This," the inventor set the dial to the second position. "is the external microphone position. We'll use this one for the play. Finally," Lucca clicked the dial to the final position, "this is the stereo mix feature. In its current configuration, it takes audio from both the camera's internal microphone and the external microphone and mixes them together."
"I am only a lowly knight, milady. I fear that this may be too complex for one such as I."
"Fear not. The camera is already set up. All you need to do is look into this, the viewfinder, use these levers to aim the camera at the actors, and adjust the zoom lens ring to make the set look closer. Everything else is already set up for you. Here, try it."
Frog tried it. "The camera's mounting contrivance is quite noisy when adjusted. Whilst this become a matter of difficulty?"
Lucca laughed. "That's the beauty of an external microphone. The only thing the camera can hear is the action on the stage and the audio output of the sound effect console," Lucca pointed at the two wires extending from a small hole in the console beside the camera into the camera itself. Lucca turned on the camera. "It's almost show time! Frog, when I give the signal, press this button to turn off the camera's test pattern, and then aim at the stage so the play can begin."
Lucca turned to Robo, who was standing behind the sound effect console. "Almost ready?"
"I'm ready, Lucca." Robo suddenly appeared slightly puzzled. "Lucca, after the final rehearsal, Crono mentioned that our last attempt to demonstrate LuccaVision was unintentionally humorous. Could you elaborate?"
The inventor frowned. "Unintentionally humorous, eh? I'll tell you a little later. Good luck, Robo, Frog."
Lucca walked into the theater storage room directly behind the theater control room. Immediately, she was greeted with the site of a half-in-costume Marle trying to help Crono pull on his costume's headgear. Magus was in costume and combing his blue hair to its full length, occasionally checking it nervously in a mirror. Between self-concious glances into the mirror, Magus looked on with amusement at Crono's predicament.
"I'm not doing that! It's far to perverted! It never tried to hurt you before, did it?"
"It's the only way to get it to work right, Crono," said Marle, who was doing a surprisingly good job of suppressing laughter, given her bubbly disposition.
"Lucca, why couldn't we try these costumes on before the play," cried Crono. "It doesn't fit right!"
Crono had been the obvious choice for the Shade prince Ozzel of Vector, leader of Noctis, a nation of swordsmen and warriors; however, his costume's headgear, a very inexpensive somewhat metallic-looking plastic helmet with shaped white plastic tubes for horns, was proving a challenging obstacle. While a brief earlier test had shown that the helmet looked quite realistic on a LuccaVision, Crono's abundant hair proved an unfortunately overlooked factor in the design of the helmet. The swordsman's hair refused to stay cooped up inside the cap, and when he wore the helmet, painfully obvious red tufts sprouted out from the holes at the tips of the horn-tubes. Worse, the hair was slowly pushing the hat off Crono's head, and whenever the swordsman pushed it back down, the tufts grew substantially, becoming longer, messier, and puffier. He looked more like a jester than a fearsome warrior.
"The school would only let us use them once." Lucca said.
"Marle, hold him down. I have the scissors," said Magus. Marle grabbed Crono's shoulders as Magus approached, snipping the scissors and thrusting them like a sword. The overall impression was of a trapped rat being approached by a snake.
Chrono cowered. "Not the hair!"
Magus trimmed the plastic tubes slightly. The effect was much more aesthetically pleasing tufts.
"Crono, I would not ask anyone to touch that hair of yours. I don't know what you use to spike it like that, but my suspicion is not tasteful," Magus said sternly.
"Hey, don't pick on Crono," said Lucca and Marle. Marle put her arms around the traumatized swordsman.
"Just hair gel..." Crono murmured.
"Enough hair gel to spike it like that is exactly what I meant," said Magus.
Marle finished putting on her costume.
"OK, are we ready?"
All replies to Lucca's question were positive.
"Then we are ready!"
Lucca appeared on stage in front of the curtain. "Frog, we have a story sign in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!"
Frog promptly did his duty, turning off the test pattern, aiming the camera at Lucca, and focusing the zoom lens on her.
Lucca took a breath. "Shades of Flame. In the world of Gaurida, were two countries: The Noctis, feared shadow warriors of immense power and genius, and the Ignis, great mages with the magic to unlock the most hidden secrets of the universe. These two nations reflected the great Gauridan legend of creation. During the creation of the human race, the legend states there were two 'Adams' and two 'Eves,' one set of 'Adams' and 'Eves' possessing magic, the other lacking mystical power. The magic users were the Flames, and became the nation of Ignis, while those who lacked magic were Shades, becoming the nation of Noctis.
"For thousands of years, the two nations were ruled by good kings. However, with the ascension of Ozzel of Vector, prince of Shades, to the throne of Noctis, chaos has fallen over the land, as he has begun to wage a terrible war against the peaceful nation of Flame, Ignis."
As Lucca was speaking, "Frog, what is humor?" asked Robo.
"Sir Robo, humor names a concept of emotion," Frog replied. "Thy question is best demonstrated, it canst be shown."
"It is in the very heart of this struggle, when the situation of the world is at its most dire, when the High Mage Lord, King Jacky of Flames, the young ruler of Ignis, snuck into the courtyard of the cliff side palace of Shades, to discover information with which to gain the upper hand, ending the war. No one has realized that in the span of one windy, moonless evening, the fate of Guarida will be decided. Here begins the First Act: Sacred Meeting of Love." Lucca finished the introduction and disappeared backstage.
Frog chuckled from his post at the camera as he set up the camera's zoom lens to bring the set into closer focus. That title had always struck him as entertaining, if not completely cliché.
Robo pressed the 'applause' button on his console. The audio was injected into the camera's audio system and played over the sound effect console's speakers.
As the curtain raised flawlessly, the soft rustling of fabric ushering in the performance, Frog turned away from the camera towards Robo and spoke. "Dost thou see the humor, Robo? The titling of Lady Lucca's play's first act, Sacred Meeting of Love, is of humorous disposition."
"It is clichéd, somewhat unoriginal, and corny. That is humor?"
"A mere facet of the full concept," Frog grinned and looked back into the viewfinder. "Oh!"
The seat of Magus's black leather pants, tinted bluish from the stage lights save a thin vertical black shadow in the center, filled Frog's viewfinder. Quickly the amphibian knight zoomed out to the correct setting. "Forsooth, he hath a wedgie," said the knight, almost sympathetically.
The dark wizard was dressed in his usual fashion, wearing semi-formfitting purple-black leather pants, jack boots, a bluish purple shirt, brown leather gloves, and a long blue cape. Surprisingly, the book's description of Jacky had been identical to Magus's standard choice of wardrobe. The wizard's back was facing the audience, and he was partly hidden by a small copse of bushes on the set. Magus's cape was billowing off to his left.
Robo pressed a button on his console, and loud footsteps and shouts filled the air.
"We can't let him escape! Men, follow me!" shouted Crono, AKA Ozzel of Vector. The teenage swordsman ran across the stage, katana drawn, costume armor rattling like a dollar store plastic morocco. "He must be headed for the main gate!"
Robo pressed another button on his console, and the footsteps and shouts died down.
Magus, AKA Jacky, emerged from the bushes. He seemed upset about something.
"My presence has been discovered, and I shall never escape this castle with my life. Woe to this world of Guarida, and to the House of Flames! The power of even the Lord of a kingdom of mages cannot stand against a castle of master swordsmen!" Jacky looked around worriedly and took a step back. A branch from the copse of bushes snapped underfoot loudly.
Robo suddenly emitted a strange groaning sound. Frog turned to face his robot friend. "Art thou feeling well?"
"Humor. The role of Jacky has so far demonstrated a highly clichéd situation, corny dialog, and overacting."
"Thou art catching on well," Frog applauded. "Definitely overacting."
"There! Stand back men, this is a matter of personal honor!" Ozzel appeared on stage again, waving his katana menacingly. Flashes of light from the blade flickered in the camera's viewfinder.
A battle between Jacky and Ozzel commenced, replete with sound effects from Robo.
The camera's mount ground away noisily as Frog struggled to keep the action in the viewfinder. The viewfinder image jittered wildly, oscillating unpredictably in a motion-sickness inducing roller coaster ride around the dimly lit castle set. Quickly, the frog-knight realized that the far easier technique was to zoom out slightly, thus capturing all of the action.
The battle raged for several minutes. Frog began to chuckle.
"Thine movements are exaggerated, oh fiend Ozzel! Hero Jacky dares not to lay a spell on thee: he doth pull his punches!"
On stage, Jacky cast a weak Dark Bomb spell and hurled it towards Ozzel. The spell dissipated before impact, and Ozzel crumpled to the ground, clutching his chest and groaning.
"Thine spell's aura hath immense potency! Lo, it destroys even what it doth not touch! O, agony! O, pain! O..., what horrible overacting," said Frog, as Ozzel continued to flop around on stage, wheezing, coughing, and spluttering like an cockroach having a seizure. "Exaggeration and misinterpreted gesture art also of humorous nature, Robo. Ozzel shouldst be dead, yet..."
Jacky hid in the shadows next to a small tower on the set while Ozzel jumped up to his feet.
"You all forget about me. Get Jacky!" shouted Ozzel.
"Because Ozzel misses him," said Robo.
Jacky hid in the shadows while Robo played footsteps and shouts again. Once again, the noise died down.
A blue light shined down on Jacky, revealing ivy vines growing beside him.
Frog spoke: "And lo, Jacky didst jump this mortal coil, ascending yon heavenly ivy."
"Perhaps this is the will of fate," said Jacky, the bold tone of his voice obviously fake as he struck a dramatic pose, "that I infiltrate the keep of the enemy fortress!" He promptly began climbing the ivy.
Suddenly, Jacky stopped.
Lucca's voice, AKA Laura's voice came from the window above the Lord of Flames.
"Aunt de Lune, it is an evil thing we do to fight the Ignis! We must stop Uncle, this war is insane!"
Marle, AKA Lady de Lune of Shades, appeared at the window. "Your Uncle is a good man, honey. He is not insane! The Ignis possess terrible powers, heretical powers that threaten our nation. You should support him, instead of playing with your inventions."
Frog blinked as Robo turned to face the amphibian knight. "Um, shouldn't the women be worried that their fortress has been infiltrated?"
"Nay, friend Robo. The fortress hath been infiltrated by the Good Guy, and the chivalrous Good Guys may never bring harm to a lady."
"Ah."
"You just don't understand, Aunt! No one understands me," said Laura.
"How dare you question me, Laura? Your uncle and I took you in after the death of your parents and raised you just like our own! You ungrateful thing," Marle's voice replied.
Robo pressed a button on his console. The sound of a wet towel being snapped like a whip sounded.
An earlier statement of Lucca's / Laura's had the wheels in Frog's mind turning as he abruptly made a strangling noise. "No, it can't be!"
"What can't be, Frog?"
"Sir Robo, I—this tale—I think it mayhap be...! No, Lady Lucca hath not committed...!"
"Wouldn't have committed what, Frog?"
"The Lady is...!"
"Oh no, no way!" Robo may have been having difficulty comprehending human concepts like humor, but he still looked as horrified as a robot could. The implications of Frog's very suggestion as to the hidden identities of the lead characters were too terrible for words.
Marle spoke. "Now be quiet and sleep!"
Robo pressed another button, and the sound of a door closing was heard.
Magus / Jacky climbed higher up the vines and looked into the window. Then, holding onto the vines, he faced the camera and spoke overly dramatically, with his eyes downcast. "She is beautiful like the evening stars, with eyes like the blues of sunset, secreted behind glasses. Her hair is of the finest Tyrian royal purple: she is gorgeous!"
Frog was having difficulty containing himself. Somehow, the wizard had been completely beaten into submission by Lucca: a line more contrary to the character of Magus could not have been uttered. Then the amphibian knight paled. He and Robo had practiced their technical roles during rehearsals, never seeing the whole play acted out. Now that he was actually witnessing the play, his idea, too terrible to think, was becoming more and more plausible. Had Lucca truly stooped so low? Were the others trying too hard to make the play a success to notice the true horror of what they were doing? Was Magus's wounded ego too cowed by his character's un-Magus-like behavior to notice the monster Magus was feeding with his performance? Frog shoved the possibility to the back of his mind. It was a dire thing to even contemplate.
"If only my prince would come! Ah, fair lord from afar, if only to look upon your comely face, if only for an instant!"
"I would consider speaking in full and complete sentences," said Robo, completing Laura's incomplete statement. Apparently, he had also pushed the play's possible hidden agenda to the back of his computerized mind.
"O Lady of Shade, you are as lovely as thy voice: I am afflicted by thee!" said Jacky.
", for thou hast given me a cold," said Frog. The knight shivered.
Laura called, "Who is there? Show yourself to me!"
"I cannot show myself, unless you give me your sacred vow of protection."
Laura paused for a moment. "It is given."
Robo made his metallic laughing sound again. "Of course, it is quite common for a young woman to allow a strange person climbing the vines under her bedroom window to enter her room."
"Thou hast discovered sarcasm: a truer and finer blade than Masamune itself," said Frog with a laugh. The knight-turned-frog became somber. "We may need it."
The spotlights lighting Magus turned off, and Frog adjusted the camera to observe a different area of the set, a room representing Lady Laura's bedroom. The bedroom was somewhat sparsely furnished, and illuminated by 'candlelight' (two broken stage lights with orange and yellow filters.) Lucca, AKA Lady Laura, was sitting on a regal-looking bed in the middle of the room, waiting for Magus to make the trek from one area of the set to the other. A black window-shaped opening on the wall represented the window. A moment later, the wizard's face appeared at the opening.
Lady Laura looked towards the window and got up from the bed. "You are dressed strangely: you are not a knight of Noctis?"
"Laura sees Jacky's head and she knows how he is dressed? She has X-Ray vision!"
"X-Ray vision, sir Robo?"
"She sees through the stone castle walls."
"Ah," the amphibian knight chuckled.
Jacky did not reply.
"Then you are a mage of Ignis!" said Laura. She turned towards the door to the room.
Robo turned a knob on his console, and the sweet notes of the legendary queen Rosa's 'Theme of Love,' with its wanting strings, yearning flutes, and affectionate harps welling up with beautiful music.
Jacky leaped through the window, seizing her by her shoulders and covering her mouth before she could cry out. "Forgive me, my Lady, I have no intention to cause you harm. I am Jacky, of the House of Flames," he turned her to face him and looked into her eyes. They remained that way for a moment. Then Magus / Jacky blinked and cocked his head. He released her.
"You are the man my uncle has been seeking!" Lucca / Lady Laura promptly barred the door. "You'll be safe until morning here. I am Lady Laura."
"She hast no clue that he is a king," said Frog. "What incredible density."
The curtain dropped, and Lucca came forward as the "Theme of Love" played. "And so, the pair spent the evening waiting for morning. They spoke of their kingdoms, of their ambitions, of their desires, and of their dreams. By morning, fondness had become love, and in the early hours of morning, they left the castle for Ignis. But at the edge of the sea cliffs, Ozzel caught up with them, and a terrible battle occurred between the young King of Ignis and the dark ruler of Noctis. Here begins Act Two: Emotional Victory."
Robo faded out "Theme of Love," replacing it with "Golbez, Clad in the Dark," the theme of the legendary villain Golbez. As the music's villainous pipe organ, dastardly choir, and hateful strings welled up, the curtain raised again. Frog groaned while Robo chuckled.
Magus / Jacky and Lucca / Laura ran from the left to the center of the stage. They stopped as Ozzel / Crono appeared at stage right, waving his katana.
"I have finally trapped you both! Prepare to meet your doom! Ungrateful wench!"
Jacky summoned the Doomsickle and pushed Laura behind him. "Laura is guilty of no crime!"
The mage and the warrior clashed in an obviously fake battle. Jacky backed up further and further towards the edge of the stage.
"And now, the killing blow!" shouted Ozzel. He swung his katana twice, each missing. For each swing, Robo pressed the sword sound effect button on his console. "Ching-Ching!"
Frog started, "Verily, the shockwaves from the blade slicing the air hath..."
"Ahhhhh!" Jacky / Magus vanished as he fell off the stage, out of the camera's field of view.
Robo and Frog looked at each other for a moment. The robot finally pressed a switch on the sound board. The stereotypical whistling sound of something falling from a great height played.
"Yes, the script actually called for that," said Robo.
Frog finished his earlier sentence: "Verily, the shockwaves from the blade slicing the air hath sent Jacky flying to his doom."
Robo turned down "Golbez, Clad in Darkness," replacing it with "Cry in Sorrow."
"You killed him! You killed him!" sobbed Laura, who knelt at the edge of the stage, staring down at an imaginary ocean. The mournful pianos of "Cry in Sorrow," added to the melodrama in all the wrong ways.
For a moment, Ozzel / Crono laughed wickedly. Soon, however, his laughing died down. "I've slain my worst enemy in cold blood," Ozzel murmured, "and I've turned my niece against me."
Laura continued to sob. "He was the only person who truly cared for me. He wanted peace. He thought my inventions were--"
Neither Frog nor Robo heard Lucca finish the line. There was no need to. There was no longer any doubt about the terror they were dealing with. Lucca had created a monster.
Robo turned off "Cry in Sorrow, replacing it with "Prologue," the theme music of the play Final Fantasy IV. Overly dramatic words echoed from the stage, joining with the triumphant notes of "Prologue." "Don't cry, my Lady."
Frog nearly hurled as cloying sugar sweetness flowed from the stage. Jacky stood, unharmed and looking downcast before the camera.
"The power of your love for me saved my life. It gave me the strength to go on, even when I was falling from the cliffs towards the cold, shallow, rocky sea below. I could not leave one such as you, Lady Laura," Magus / Jacky mumbled, his voice bubbling up from a sea of shame and self-loathing.
"Your love for each other has taught me the power of love, greater than any sword or magic," said Ozzel.
Jacky and Laura embraced as the curtain fell. The actors then came forwards to bow for the camera. It was the end.
"Verily we hast survived another LuccaVision broadcast, Lady Lucca," said Frog as Robo faded down "Prologue."
The show was over, and everyone was packing up. The costumes had to put away, and the school theater had to be cleaned.
Lucca was positively glowing with her assessment of the performance. As she stuffed paper from one of the sets into a garbage bag, she raved about the rave reviews the broadcast was going to receive.
Robo and Frog did their best not to simultaneously roll on the floor in laughter and cringe in horror as they put away the costumes.
Crono was silent as he swept the floor. Something had evidently disquieted him.
Marle was somewhat miffed. "No one ever got to see my character in action."
Frog and Robo knew that that was a Good Thing(c). No one had to truly realize her full connection with the atrocity.
As for Magus, the wizard was obviously deeply disturbed. Lucca had entrusted him with the task of putting away the electronic equipment, a task he was not doing, electing to instead stare at the floor.
When the amphibian knight passed close to the wizard, Magus called out to him.
"Frog."
"Speak, wizard."
"I was awful."
Frog nodded. Sometimes even the wizard was correct.
"I tried to do it like Lucca showed me. I tried to be dramatic for her. I gave Lucca my word. I could never go back on my word to her. I never go back on my word."
Frog blinked. The wizard was feeling remorse for having failed Lucca? Frog suddenly became very worried about the lifespan of the universe: Magus repenting about anything was surely a sign of the end.
"I ruined her play."
Seeing the wizard actually blaming himself for something was far too unusual for the likes of Frog. "Nay, it ruined itself."
"I soiled my honor."
"I hath not a change of honor for thee," said Frog.
Having his honor compared to a diaper was beyond Magus's tolerance. "THAT'S IT!" He summoned the Doomsickle.
"Stop it, Magus!" Lucca ran over. "Can't even put away a camera right."
Magus stopped his effort to kill Frog. Lucca suddenly gasped.
"What is it?" said Crono as everyone gathered around the inventor.
"Frog! Robo! I left the audio select in the stereo mix position! What were you guys talking about? The camera heard everything you said!"
Frog and Robo just looked at each other.
"Lucca, I've been wondering. Just who wrote Shades of Flame?" asked Crono. "I mean, Laura seemed kinda like--Jacky looked an awful lot like-"
The inventor stormed off. Magus reddened ever-so-slightly.
Frog and Robo had just MST'd the world's first Mary Sue Romance.
