Try as Ciena might, she had a hard time recalling how exactly she had gone from flat on her back in the sand to a med cot aboard what had to be one of the last remaining imperial battle cruisers. She couldn't decide what felt more like a dream, Nash Windrider carefully carrying her into the jump seat of a TIE, or the 2 years of captivity and survival on Jakku. She was back in a med bay, so similar to the one where she had spent months in and out of Bacta treatments.
"Nash" her voice came out so quiet under the hum of the ship she didn't think the figure slumped in the chair beside her cot had even heard her. She had forgotten the how loud the dull hum of engines aboard a starship created.
Nash's Alderaanian braids still kept his hair swept back from his face. The long lines of his body seemed even leaner now, his cheekbones more prominent on his. His hands gripped the arms of his seat even in sleep as his jaw clenched and unclenched.
She knew those dreams. TIE fighters didn't survive the war through good fortune. They killed, or they died.
"Wake up Nash" It felt like yelling after so long spent living I with only the ghosts and dunes as company.
She placed her hand on his bicep and squeezed lightly. His eyes opened and he drew a deep breath, bewilderment passing over his features as he took her in on the Med cot.
The not-silent-silence stretched.
"Sometimes I forget what happened" he says, his words coming out in a rush "I strap in to my TIE, and I expect to look out and see the Hangar of the Inflictor or even sometimes the Death Star. Its as if for a minute I have managed to forget it."
"Forget what?" She asks, even though she already knows what his answer will be. She would forget too, in those moments in her cell with the Rebels, before she felt the dry air on her skin or heard the chatter of their untrained militia and expect to wake up on the Inflictor once more.
"Endor. The Death Star. Jakku." His eyes meet hers "Sometimes I even forget enlisting, and I expect to wake up on Coruscant in our old dorm"
She sucks in a breath, the thought physically painful. Jude's death, Thane's betrayal. They are old wounds that she thought had healed over in her year in the sands, but hearing them from Nash hurts.
"Thank goodness you didn't reveal yourself on Jakku, its still contested by the rebel alliance and trying to make contact could have revealed yourself." Nash Windrider continues, effectively changing the subject as medbot rolled in. Fluids were being administered for dehydration, but what else did they expect after they had picked her up on a desert planet?
"Where is ISB Nash?" She asks. Usually the Empire's internal affairs thugs would prevent visits from other officers until she had been debriefed, although she wouldn't be surprised if they executed her on site for desertion after discovering that she had been living in freedom on Jakku.
Nash clenches his jaw, and reaches up to hold her hand loosely, as if he is is making sure the touch is ok. When she doesn't pull away he tightens his grip "Ciena the Empire isn't what it is. Maker, I don't know if we are even calling ourselves the Empire anymore. There is no ISB,we don't have the numbers"
He looks around, but the med bay is deserted, even the droid attending her has powered down.
"I was going to leave Ciena" His other hand comes up to grab hers as well and he leans his lengthy frame over, so close she can see the reflection of her med cot's lights in his eyes. "I went to Jakku to sell my TIE for as many credits as possible to one of those junk traders. The fleet doesn't have the resources to track anyone down anymore, they barely have enough officers to keep the remaining ships spacebound. I went to Jakku to leave"
Guilt. That is the emotion Ciena sees in the clenching of his jaw, the desperation she feels in the grasp of his hands, which are very nearly cutting off the circulation in hers with the strength of his grip.
"Why didn't you leave Nash?" She says, although her mind is somewhere far away. Nash Windrider, who watched the Alderaan burn from the Death Star, who piloted a TIE through Endor and Jakku was going to leave the Empire he gave everything to for the past 13 years of his life is now sitting with her in the Med Bay of one of the few remaining ships.
"I found you"
...
"Captain Ree, it is very unusual that we have the honor of bestowing award to someone in person these days" Moff Gorgon said as he pinned the multicolored emblem on the lapel of a uniform Ciena thought she would never see, much less wear again. "That you have come back to us after such an ordeal is nothing short of a miracle."
Her eyes flicked up at that, a small trickle of apprehension raising the hairs on her arms—to long has she been in Imperial service to take a compliment without questioning the motive first. But the Moff looked as if he were genuine, and many of the good commands were lost.
"I have had an unusual request in fact, Commander Windrider has asked that your assignment fall to the Garrote which is his current posting. " the Moff frowns at this, he is unused to being asked for anything given his position "I understand he found you on Jakku while investigating the reports that a Rebel Base still existed there"
The Moff choosing to refer the New Republic outpost as a Rebel Base doesn't surprise Ciena, she herself had done the same while she was in their custody. Now the term Rebel doesn't seem to fit, like calling one of the Jakkun Lionesses a kitten. "That is correct, Sir"
"There are few postings in Command on ships these days" the Moff pauses to turn around, the bridge is at attention but he releases the officers present to resume their duty with a wave of his hand as he walks to the view screen. "The Imperial fleet has been decimated, and what I need is your presence on the ground"
"I assure you I will assist the fleet in any way I can from my assignment, sir" Ciena says, asa relief floods through her. She had forgotten how space had drained her, Jakku was no rainforest, but she had grown accustomed to the hum of life that surrounded her even there in the sand. Ciena had found her return to life on a starship almost physically painful, as if a limb she didn't know she had was suddenly removed.
The Moff frowned slightly, "The Fleet is almost no more, until we can find a suitable planet to reestablish and create secure docking facilities we can't hope to rebuild. We need allies Captain Ree, and I need people capable of finding them discreetly"
"Of course, I will do whatever I can to ensure the Empire returns order to the Galaxy" Ciena responded. What was the Moff getting at?
"Order is exactly what we need Captain Ree, but we will never be what the Empire once was. I have heard the chatter that Admiral Rax had no intention of winning the battle of Jakku, that he was counsel to the Emperor and was the leader of Palpatine's contingency plan."
A cold sweat trickled down Ciena's back *Moff Garson is talking about treason**. She cast a glance to the other officers on the bridge. Would they report her? However all seemed to go about their duties as if the Moff was speaking about nothing more interesting than the space conditions.
"You have proven yourself resourceful Ree. You managed to survive a year in custody of the Rebel Alliance without betraying the Empire, and another year surviving" he pauses as if unsure of how to describe her time spent AWOL as a scavenger "surviving life in Jakku. If you can hide your identity as a Rebel Fugitive and Imperial Captain there couldn't you do so somewhere else, perhaps while finding the allies we need?"
Its a slippery slope, that question. A threat presented as an opportunity, this Moff has survived the infighting of the past years for a reason.
"I will serve as you see fit, Moff Gargon" careful words, a dip of the head. Ciena's oath was to the empire, but now she is before a Moff serving a military state with no commanding officer.
He looks her over, as she gazes at the endless space of the unknown regions before her in the view screen. "You will go to Dothomir, to seek allies from the Force users who reside there. They may not help us openly, but they will know where we can begin our search. Commander Windrider will accompany you. Take a ship that can't be traced to the Remnant, no TIEs or cruisers."
He turns back to the view screen. It occurs to Ciena that he has not referred to himself as part of the Empire once.
"Dismissed"
...
Nash Windrider is standing before a Corellian Light Freighter class vessel in the main hangar of the Garrote when Ciena finds him. His hair is no longer braided, but cut short. His voice booms over the squadron before him, all rushing to prepare a ship as unfamiliar to them as an X Wing.
"I see you were informed before me of our new assignment" Ciena says as she walks up beside him. She moves to grab a ship kit but he places a calloused hand on her arm.
"I think that since time is of the essence we should discuss the mission particulars once we depart in the Centurion Wing" Nash's hand is still resting on her arm, and his fingers squeeze gently. She follows his gaze as he tilts his head to the slight droid waiting beside them.
"Of course," she adds "I only meant to decide who would be responsible for flying this ship, it has been too long since I piloted light craft"
Ciena thinks of Endor. Even though it ended in her injuries, and meant the end of the institution she had sworn an oath to uphold she can't help but miss the feel of a TIE beneath her. It was the last time she had felt conviction about her place in the world. The last time she felt she could make a difference herself, even if it was only in protecting a few Pilots.
Nash is still side eying some droids, but a smile creeps up on his features. It isn't joyous, but a feral thing of ground teeth and sharp incisors. "It would be an honor to co-pilot for the best of Jelucan"
Ciena winces, and Nash grabs both her arms, gently turning her so they are face to face. The old captain that she locked away inside herself reminds her that she is still in the hangar of the Garrote and surrounded by subordinates, but the thought of Jelucan paralyzes Ciena on the spot.
She accepted long ago that her parents would think she had died on Jakku, and would probably never know she had survived the crash of the Inflictor. She didn't know if Jelucan still remained loyal to the Empire or had joined the new coalition of planets rising from the Rebel Alliance. She wasn't privy to news as a prisoner, and it was even more difficult to come by as a scavenger, But the mention of her home planet has her legs going week, vision tunneling as Nash's hold on her arms become the only thing keeping her upright.
His arms envelope her, and she buries her face in the coarse black material of his uniform "I know" he whispers too low for the stormtroopers and pilots swarming around them to hear. "It will always be with you Ciena, even if its gone now"
"I'm sorry Nash" Ciena says, unsure if he can even hear her as she is now speaking directly into his chest, her hands balled up tightly in his uniform. "I should be happy just to have a planet. Its fine"
She pushes herself upright and straightens the sleeves of her jacket. One deep breath, she is still a Captain, as far as she knows, and she needs to remain composed while on the Hangar deck. "I am sorry for my lapse in composure Commander Windrider, it won't happen again" Its so much easier to fall back to her training, on the formal tones of command. She did not break when piloting her Star Destroyer towards what should have been certain death. She will not allow the past to haunt her any longer.
"I am not the only one who has lost their home" Nash says, he tucks the hands that had just held her upright into his pockets, and walks up the ramp of the Centurion Wing.
