Rachel walked to school slowly dragging her feet on the sidewalk; she clutched her phone, staring at the text she had received last night. It was from Finn. 'We need to talk.' That was all he had put, no kisses or I love you's, she knew it was bad. She didn't reply to his text because she knew that if given the chance to he would probably break up with her via text and that was something she would not stand for, if he was going to break up with her which she was almost certain he would, then he should do it like a man and tell her in person. She prolonged her journey to school stopping off at the shop to buy a bottle of water and some gum, she was dreading seeing Finn, she always knew he would hurt her again, he always did.
She walked into the school halls passing Santana who greeted her with her usual glare and snide remark. Rachel walked by ignoring her, it's all she could do really; she wasn't in the mood to start an argument with Santana especially knowing that a fight with Finn was going to be inevitable. She shifted her bag on her shoulder and made sure her posture was perfect before she looked over to her right and saw Finn by his locker, she gulped and took a step forward holding her head up high, if she was going to get dumped, she was going to get dumped with her dignity still intact. "Good morning Finn." She smiled acting as if everything was normal between them even though she knew it wasn't. For the last couple of weeks all they had been doing was fighting, usually over trivial things that didn't matter to either of them. Finn looked down at her closing his locker door. Rachel could already see how uncomfortable he looked around her, the look of love which had filled his eyes just months ago had completely vanished and staring back at her were a pair of lost, confused eyes.
"Rachel, you didn't reply to my text." He said to her, shifting his weight from one foot to another, making it clear to her that something was on his mind. She hated what had become of them, they were the glee club's power couple not so long ago, and she truly believed that they would be 'Rachel and Finn' forever. She sighed deeply when she thought about what had happened to them, quickly disguising it with a cough.
"I was busy Finn. But you can tell me now." She said quietly, pulling down the sleeves of her cardigan over the top of her hands. Her eyes instantly fell to the floor, he hadn't even said anything yet and she still couldn't look at him.
"Not here." Finn replied scanning the corridor quickly and taking Rachel's wrist dragging her gently into an empty classroom. She winced slightly as she felt Finn's touch against her arm; she followed swiftly behind him so his grip would not tighten anymore. Although Finn's grip was loose against her, she could still feel her wrist throbbing underneath her cardigan. As they entered the classroom, he let go of her and perched on the end of a desk, Rachel stood in front of him shaking her right arm to try and rid it from the pain. The change of scenery made her more nervous; with the door of the classroom closed it was almost silent compared to the sound in the corridor. "Rachel." He began, taking a quick pause to look at her, the smile which he often wore around her had been wiped from his face and instead a blank, face of a stranger stared back at Rachel.
"Just do it Finn." She whispered quietly, just loud enough for him to hear. She looked up at him, with tears pricking her eyes. "Just make it quick this time." She said a little louder, her eyes wandering away from him and finding a spot on the wall where she kept her stare, frightened that if she looked at him again, she would break down into a flood of uncontrollable tears. Her original plan of acting dignified had already backfired and she was trying as hard as she could not to completely crumble in front of him.
"I'm sorry Rachel, I love you, but things aren't the same anymore." He stuttered on his words slightly looking at her, he bit his lip; this was harder than he thought it would be. He had tried so hard to make it work between them and he knew that Rachel had too; she had even cut out some of her vocal practice time so she could spend time with him after football training. Rachel nodded slowly still looking at the wall, she felt her bottom lip begin to tremble and she bit on it fiercely before finding all the strength she had to turn to face Finn.
"I know." She said quietly closing her eyes for a second; she looked up at him and hugged him tightly, resting her head against his chest feeling his heartbeat against her cheek for one last time. "I'm sorry we can't make things work." She sighed softly feeling her eyes fill up with tears again as she felt the familiar touch of his hands rest on the back of her body. She stayed leaning into him for several minutes before pulling away and forcing a small smile to form on her lips. "Goodbye Finn." She said to him and kissed him on the cheek, she still hated this situation but she had accepted that it was over between them now, she only hoped that one day, maybe when they were older, that they would reconcile a little like Barbra Streisand's and Robert Redford's characters did in The Way We Were. Finn nodded slightly and stood up.
"I'll see you around Rachel." He smiled back at her before walking out of the classroom leaving her alone to gather her thoughts. Rachel sighed taking in everything that had just happened, in a way she felt relieved, now they weren't together anymore they could no longer argue but she already missed him. Finn was the only one who could understand her, he accepted her for who she was and he knew all of her deepest secrets, except one. The one that no one knew apart from herself. The one that if people found out about they wouldn't look at her the same way again. She was battling depression; it hit her every night when she was alone, she hated it, she hated herself. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath rolling up her sleeve to reveal a number of fresh scarlet scratches traced along her wrist. She stared at them and shook her head in disbelief, she couldn't believe she had done this to herself, especially over Finn, it didn't change anything, he still broke up with her, she knew she shouldn't have done it but that text last night had sent her over the edge. It was as if she was in a trance, like she wasn't herself, she needed a release, to escape reality and set her mind upon something else. This was it; the sudden pain that she felt had distracted her from Finn and it gave her a strange sense of control, at the time she didn't recognise the full effect of what she was doing, all she cared about was that she wasn't thinking about reality.
Rachel's thoughts were interrupted by her phone, she felt it vibrate from inside her pocket and took it out expecting it to be Finn, it wasn't. It was from Quinn, she smiled as she read it, a friend was exactly what she needed right now, in fact she really needed to talk to her right now. She walked out of the classroom and was hit with a wave of spontaneity, instead of moping about in class; she was going to spend some time with her friend Quinn. She smiled to herself, she loved that she could call Quinn her friend now, it seemed like they had disliked each other for so long in the past that they could never be friends, but then New York happened. The thought of Quinn and New York had raised her mood a little and she casually strolled out of school as if she had done it a thousand times before.
