Crash! The lightning booms in my ears. Normally I would just ignore it, but tonight, a wailing child in her bedroom awaits my arrival. My hair is tangled, my eyes are drowsy, but I know she wants a lullaby. We've been singing to her ever since she was as small as a tack. It's true, humming to her in my belly is my pass time to not be scared beyond reason, well that was before. But now, she's grown to the toddler we have now. I place my robe on, and march to her room. While walking to her room, I pat down my hair.
"Mo-mo-my." I hear as I enter her bedroom. She's curled up in the corner of her room, a big blanket covering her, though her blue eyes are sparkling in the moonlight. She's only 2 years old, and yet she's so frightened. I could never live with my child so consumed with terror. I go near her very slowly, so she wouldn't get more scared.
"I'm here darling." I coax her. She just nods, but her nose is running. She's sobbing and crying and I feel helpless, but I've been through these. I pick out a handkerchief and blot her nose.
"It's okay," I whisper. She nods, but then she fires herself into my chest.
"Mommy, scared…." She mumbles. I don't know where she got this "phobia" of thunder and lightning, but what do you expect? She's just a child.
"Baby, mommy's here," I comfort her, and pick her up in my arms. I look around the house and observe the beautiful dandelions painted on her bedroom wall.
I stand up.
"So scared!" She shakes, and then cries again.
"Sssh, honey, mommy's here, don't worry." I tell her, she's shaking, sobbing, and helpless. The very unhelpful roll of thunder jolts her from her clutch on me. I put her back, and I sit on a chair.
"Mommy, sing." She instructs me, her eyes welling up with tears. Of course, I can't turn down her wish, but all that enters my mind is Rue. Dying Rue. Who instructed me to sing, as her final wish. I shake it all out of my head, registering the fact that all's well.
I try to figure out a song, but the right one comes to mind. It's an old one, years and years and more years ago, and it's called lullaby for a stormy night.
I begin;
Little child, be not afraid,
The rain pounds harsh, against the glass,
Like an unwanted stranger, there is no danger,
I am here tonight.
Rosie, as we've started to nickname her as, stops sobbing, but is still choking back tears. She wants me to continue.
Little child,
Be not afraid,
As thunder explodes, and lightning flash,
Illuminates, your tearstained face,
I am here tonight.
I sing to her, wiping a stray tear from her eye. I've sung this song to her probably a dozen times, because it is rainy season. I continue;
And someday you'll know,
Nature is so,
The same rain that draws you near me,
Falls on rivers and lands,
Forests and sands,
Makes the beautiful world that you see, in the morning.
She smiles at me, liking my tone. I smile back, these are one of the rare occasions I sing; lullabies for my child. It feels like loosening up, forgetting before.
Little child,
Be not afraid,
Though storm clouds mask your beloved moon,
And candlelight beams,
Still keep pleasant dreams,
I am here tonight.
This verse hits me, remembering the nightmares I've had, in hope that Rosie will have pleasant dreams, not having to embrace our nightmares.
Little child
Be not afraid
The wind makes creatures of our trees
And the branches to hands
They're not real, understand
And I am here tonight.
The wind is too, blowing the trees outside, creating shapes and pictures, but she always took pleasure in them. The un- helpful lightning illuminates us both, sitting on the ledge of her bed. She grips tighter, and I hold her closer.
And someday you'll know
That nature is so
This same rain that draws you near me
Falls on rivers and land
And forest and sand
Makes the beautiful world that you see
In the morning.
The chorus describes a beautiful world, very much out of my reach when I was her age, when the Hunger Games controlled us and whipped us into shape. This is the beautiful world, the world we have now. The world where people would be safe from harm's reaches. The very place where I vowed Peeta's children would be safe, and it came true.
For you know, once even I
Was a little child
And I was afraid
But a gentle someone always came
To dry all my tears
Trade sweet sleep for fears
And to give a kiss goodnight.
The little child described here, was me. The gentle someone, was Peeta. The countless nights he's been willing to stay up just to bring me back. A lone tear falls down my cheek, remembering before. I wipe it with my free hand so that Rosie wouldn't see it.
Well, now I am grown
And these days have shown
Rain's a part of how life goes
But it's dark and it's late
So I'll hold you and wait
'til your frightened eyes do close
I sing to her, we're almost at the end, but I want to continue. This verse is just like saying; But now I am grown, and these days have shown, nightmares are part of healing goes, but we've gone through a lot, and willing to wait, So I'll hold you and wait 'til your frightened eyes do close. Of course, that isn't the lyrics, but it just came into my head.
And I hope that you'll know
That nature is so
This same rain that draws you near me
Falls on rivers and land
And forests and sand
Makes the beautiful world that you see
In the morning
Everything's fine in the morning
The rain will be gone in the morning
But I'll still be here in the morning
That's what ends the song.
"I love you darling," I whisper to her. Her waterworks had just stopped, but her face is streaked with those horrible tear tracks. My waterworks had just appeared.
"Mommy, why?" Rosie asks me, puzzled by why am I crying.
"Let's just say it's a long story," I say. I just built up an alibi, but she doesn't need to know yet.
"Okay," She nods, but looks down.
"What's wrong, dear?" Now I'm the puzzled one.
"Sorry, didn't mean to…" She looks at her feet. Have I put more weight on her shoulders than she should have?
"Oh, no, don't be, mommy's fault." I blame myself. I wipe the oncoming tears away.
"Okay." She fails to meet my eyes.
"Baby, look at me," I feel guilty now; I've made her feel horrible. Her beautiful blue eyes stare at me, without confidence.
"Nothing's wrong. Mommy and daddy love you, that's all that matters." I coax her, as I stand up.
"Don't go," She frowns, her eyes welling up once more.
All that I register is Rue, lying helplessly on the grassy floor.
"I won't, I'll never." I reassure her.
"Okay, one thing." She smirks.
"What is it?" I ask her, and apparently the rain has calmed down to a cool drizzle.
"Oh, nothing." Her red nose is pairing with her smirk.
Five minutes later I'm seen with her in my arms. I go to the bedroom.
"Peeta, we have a visitor." I say happily.
"Who?" He asks, sleepily.
"Her." I gesture to Rosie.
We lay down in the bed, with her in the middle.
But I'll still be here, in the morning.
