GHOSTS ARE HARMLESS, (OR ARE THEY?)
The ghost of Captain James Hook wandered the deck of the "Jolly Roger" He snorted in disgust at his former bosun and First Mate Elias Smee, corpulent and self-satisfied.
Smee couldn't see Hook, but Farand, the new leader of the Jolly Roger could. Hook waved to Farand, who was walking on the deck, and pointed to the dozing Smee, and then Hook's ghost watched in pleasure, as Farand got busy with the dogs-whip!
Hearing Smee's howls of anguish, Hook smiled. It had been so, so frustrating and enraging. For so long. But now things were beginning to change.
Just after Hook's corporeal form had been consumed in the jaws of the greedy crocodile in August of 1904, the Captain's spirit had floated out of the croc's left nostril and exited the lagoon.
Despite his distress at no longer being of this realm, Hook was pleased that he was still able to be a spectator, and was not called to a lower punishment (Apparently Neverland had no extradition treaty with Satan's Sauna.)
But this pleasure turned to disgust as Captain James had to witness the emetic spectacle of Lost Boys and pirates agreeing to a truce, Cowards!
Smee, Starkey, Toothfingers and the others, showed themselves as descendants of Quisling, Benedict Arnold, and every hyena and jackal that had ever whined in the jungle.
Peace remained for some time...nay, a century or more! After all, though there were beautiful pearls and rubies, Indian princesses that could have been transported for sale in London...to say nothing of the mermaids! But why? Why steal or sell, when you could get everything you wanted here in Neverland? There were no reasons for Apaches to fight pirates, or pirates to menace boys...
For one hundred and ten years, Hook's ghost had scowled aghast at the squalor that the little island seemed to have descended to. Whenever he saw Pan crowing and flying about, James Hook ( deceased) trembled, but what could he do? He didn't quite exist anymore.
And then one day, the Ghost of Captain James Hook had come upon the dark and dissatisfied face of young Farand, a boy he'd hated almost as much as Tootles or Pan himself!
Farand had been caught by Peter Pan in what seemed to be joyous fun to the Captain's ghoul. Farand had caught Tinkerbell, the aggravating little fairy, and stuffed her in an empty Jiffy peanut butter jar ("Peter Pan" peanut butter was not for sale in Neverland, as Pan was still suing for copyright) and having such fun! Farand had poked a hole in the lid of the jar and was happily jabbing Tink with a slender knitting needle.
Peter had caught Farand, released Tink and given Farand a sound thrashing. As Farand had gone to mope at the top of the lagoon, Hook's spirit had decided to appear, and converse.
James Hook had never made himself visible in the one hundred ten years since his watery, gator-ish demise...but he found that young Farand was not alarmed, angry or even perturbed at the sight of the old enemy. It was clear...Farand had missed Hook!
"No one understands me...Pan, the boys don't, and I'm unappreciated." Farand had complained to the deceased captain as the two strutted on the water of the lagoon.
"Back when we were plotting against your lot, I was a warlord, and Pan asked for my counsel...and Wendy looked upon me admiringly sometimes. But now, I just...feel bored, and dissatisfied."
"No one appreciates you, do they?" Hook asked seductively. "I've felt the same at times, my lad."
Farand had looked gratefully at the Captain's ghostly image. "That's right. Just because everyone has enough to eat and enjoyable, silly activities, they seem..."
But, being eternally a pre-adolescent, Farand of course was limited in articulating his thoughts. But Hook would've made a splendid Freudian.
"Of course, Farand, my boy. You're distraught because there's nothing to fight for, and that it's no pleasure to have everything you want, unless others have less, eh? Especially if you've been the one to take it all!"
The two talked pleasurably of childhood memories-setting fires, torturing cats, making baby sisters cry. The two were intime, as the French put it.
Hook snickered casually as Farand's toe had cruelly punched the ear of an emerging mermaid. Jesus had also walked on water, but had he ever been as clever?
Farand's face brightened as the conversation had ended. "That's, that's it exactly! No one else has understood me, except one fellow who was a Lost Boy quite briefly, this Cartman chap, who Pan had to return to the regular world because old Cart was too obese to fly."
Farand had complained to the ghost that Pan had never given him true credit for the bravery he'd shown during the battle with the pirates. Why had there not been medals assigned? Why couldn't Farand be the official Lieutenant to Peter Pan?
But Peter had not even considered this. Except for the annoying fact that he considered himself the Leader of the Lost Boys, there would be no awards and no glory.
"In fact," Farand had said, with a twelve year old's pout, " After you fell to the water, Captain, Pan was going to rescue you, but I tripped him...so you'd be eaten by the croc. Pan never wanted anyone to be seriously hurt...he thought it was all a game."
Then Farand had realized what he'd said and looked a bit apologetic at the Captain, although he believed a mere ghost could not seek revenge. If your physical body is gone, all you can do is run your ghostly mouth...how dangerous is that?
But Captain Hook had just smiled gamely. "I would've done the same thing if I'd been you, my lad." There had been a pause. Hook thought briefly of his childhood, when he'd stolen his mother's brooch and caused a splendid fight with the cook, and then a general firing of all servants. But now...
"You know, Farand, my boy, you might become the true leader of Neverland. The pirates are sluggish and need a captain, they are just getting besotted on port ale, and supporting themselves as a fishing vessel." Hook, still gliding on the lagoon had looked evilly at his former "Jolly Roger" and the laughing men lazing about on the deck.
"And Pan perhaps is not an efficient pilot for his Lost Boys. You could take that away from him, although it might end in uh, unpleasantness." The Captain's spirit had looked keenly at Farand, who just looked interested.
How cocky boys are, Hook's spirit had thought at the time. Now, almost a year later, the new young captain was enjoying himself thoroughly taking the lash to the slack Smee...and Hook thought...soon enough he may have the courage to take Pan down.
Or Pan will take him down. Hook thought of Farand tripping Pan, and of the housemaid who'd boxed young James's ear in 1875 and then been fired, forever unemployable, as a thief. Something would happen!
