Chapter 2
"Shinichi, I'm going to buy something on that shop across the street, I'll be back right away, okay?"
He prepared to stand from his seat. "Do you want me to accompany you?"
"No, no, it's fine. You just wait for the food."
"You sure?"
She added a laugh as she tapped on the glass window beside them. "You can literally see me through this glass case, I'll only need a second."
He smiled to her. "Alright."
It was never alright.
It was never alright after she left.
"He would not come back"
Says my mind.
"You waited too fast"
Tells my heart.
Aoko woke up to the familiar smell coffee. She slowly raised her hand to touch her head. It was pounding hard as she tried to sit. Looking around, she realized that she was not in her room or any room she knew in particular. She tried to remember what happened, but her head hurt and it did not help her at all.
Her bag and her phone were put on the bedside table, but her eyes settled on the drawer instead. It was opened slightly.
She opened it and confused at what she found inside. There was a picture, one that made her instantly remembered what place this was and how she got there. She wanted to slap herself for being so stupid over a single glass of drink if only the picture's not making her puzzled.
A picture of Kudo Shinichi with a girl who looked a lot like her.
She recognized the background as the Tropical Land. A tear slipped her eyes when she remembered her going there with Kaito. She quickly brushed it off.
Aoko got off the bed, holding the old picture in her hand as she gathered her things.
When she exited the room, she glanced around the place. The wall was colored with simple white background. On her left was a kitchen that connected with the living room and-… There was a heavy feeling when she saw a figure sleeping on the couch. She walked over silently and sat before him, finding herself staring at his face longer than before. It was no mistake that he, too, looked a lot like Kaito.
Her breath quickened as she suddenly realized just how much she missed him. Perhaps that was the reason when she dared to lift her hand and hesitantly touched his hair, trying to mess it up a little bit. Perhaps she had gone senseless enough.
The moment her hand almost touched his hair, she was startled when Kudo-kun suddenly caught her wrist, stopping her in the process. His eyes flung open and she found her staring at his blue irises.
"Stop it, Nakamori-san."
She was too stunned to move when he suddenly hurled down beside her on the carpet.
"Listen. I'm not the person you think I am. You've mistaken me. My name's Kudo Shinichi, not Kuroba Kaito."
"And if you find something in common between us, then it is probably a mistake. I have never taken a dislike to a fish, nor even afraid of it. Do you understand?"
She teared her gaze away from him as he let go of her wrist. "I'm sorry."
She could feel his gaze on her, but she was mixed with a feeling of hurt, embarrassed, disappointed.
Despair
Her mind brought her back when she first met him in the deserted street. She thought she was dreaming, seeing him standing over there. She regretted it the moment he left that she didn't asked him right away. When they met again in Ayumi's house, she took every chance to look at his features. To see just how much he looked the same like Kaito and just how much he seemed different too. She's afraid that if she touched him back there, he might disappear again or shattered away. She had tried to convince herself as she listened to the conversation he and Ayumi had during the dinner. She had convinced herself that this man was not her Kaito. That he was just another mislead, another broken hope that crushed her every single time.
But when Ayumi told about him not so fond of fish, she found herself hoping again.
Aoko gritted her teeth as another tear threatened to escape from her eyes. She turned her face away from him and wipe it furiously with the back of her hand.
"Nakamori-san?"
She turned to him again, this time forcing a smile so he would not have to worry. "I'm sorry. It seemed my feelings took control of me."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
His question made her looked sharp at him. "I mean, you said that you have no lead to find him. Kuroba Kaito, I mean. Perhaps I could lend you a detective help."
He sounded genuine enough that Aoko found it as one thing that disregarded him as Kaito. She settled her gaze to the ground. "Kaito's my best friend. We've been together since childhood."
Kudo-kun listened to her patiently. He probably noticed her talking in present tense, but she didn't care. She's the only one who convinced Kaito's alive and she wanted to stay that way.
"He's a magician, adores his father very much. But after his father dead, he turns to cheer for Kaitou Kid."
"One time, he suddenly left on his birthday. I have prepared a cake and a present for him, but he never went home that day."
She paused. "It was the day of Kaitou Kid's last heist. You remember the case, right?"
She didn't notice Kudo-kun's expression that suddenly looked so stern and serious, and going on instead. "That night I suspected he had probably gone off to look at the show. I found out that there had been explosions in the morning after I looked at the news. I rushed to the scene to meet my father, glad that he only suffered mild wounds."
"They said that Kid was dead because of the tragedy. It was broadcasted live all over Japan when the bombs went off. I couldn't care less about it. I tried to contact Kaito again, but the line went dead."
She inhaled deeply, clearly memorizing every bit of it as if it just happened ten minutes ago. "But several hours after the incident, one of the officer give me Kaito's phone. They said it was found on the scene."
She smiled sadly at him. "It's the only proof that Kaito had gone to the heist."
"They never found a body. Probably because the explosion too. But as long as they never find the evidence that Kaito's dead, it means that he is alive, right?"
At this rate, her voice had wavered. Kudo-kun only sat there, listening to her with his jaw slightly tightened. She did not need to continue her story, she already told him when she thought he was Kaito.
After a while, it was Kudo-kun who broke the silence. He looked hesitant at the beginning as he tried to search for the words.
"Nakamori-san."
"…. Yes?"
"I-" he paused. "I don't only remember the incident." She waited for him to continue. "I was there when it happened." She looked up to him, alarmed, silently hoping. "Do you recall if you run into a person who looks a lot like you?"
He took a deep breath as he turned to face her and looked her straight in the eye. "Listen, Nakamori-san."
"What I'm going to tell you next, you will not like it at all. But you've got to trust me."
She felt her heart beat quickened at every word he said, but by the look on his face, she's not sure whether she wanted to hear him out.
"I met him, Nakamori-san. I met Kaitou Kid." Aoko knitted her eyebrows together. "I thought we are talking about my friend?"
Kudo-kun suddenly gripped her upper arms, locking her there as if he knew she would try to neglect everything he was about to say. His fingers were cold on her skin.
"He was your best friend, Nakamori-san. Kuroba Kaito was Kaitou Kid."
The sky outside was still dark even though the sun had risen. The citizen was ready to start their day today, but for the second time already, she felt like her reality had literally shattered.
"… What are you talking about, Kudo-kun?"
He paused again to reassure himself that it was the best for her if she knew the fact. "Kuroba Kaito was Kaitou Kid, and he was already dead."
Kudo-kun's words echoed in mind, repeated all over again until she finished processing the information. "I was there when it happened and I only managed to survive because he shot me out of the way."
"Y-you must be mistaken, Kudo-kun." She told him, her voice inwardly begging for him to tell her it was a joke.
He looked down at his lap. "I'm sorry."
One of her hand raised slowly to touch her chest, finding it so hard to breath. Kaito- Kaito
"Nakamori-san-"
She jerked Kudo-kun's hand away. Her gaze piercing through him in disbelief. "You're lying."
Shinichi kept his gaze to her and shook his head. "No, I don't."
"You're lying-"
This time, Kudo-kun snapped. "Listen, that was the truth! I told you because I don't want you to drown in empty-"
He was trying to snap her out from her dream. His words were like sword, cutting right through her heart. Drawing out her blood, but her heart was already dead.
As Nakamori Aoko shrugged Kudo Shinichi away and ran, she finally realized how half of her soul had left her heart already.
It was all bullshit. Right?
Aoko did not know which one hurt her the most, between knowing that Kaito was Kaitou Kid or the fact that she had lost her hope entirely that he was dead.
There were many things in her head even after she went to Saguru-kun's house for explanation. She never understood why people tend to leave things and push her away without any explanation. She didn't understand even though Saguru-kun had told her they wanted her to move on, to continue her life without knowing anything. But the fact was she never had the chance to step forward. She never really tried to use the chance. She kept waiting, waiting, and waiting for him to come back because she was the only who believed he would be back and who else going to welcome him home?
Aoko never understood before why Kaito had slowly become busier and busier every day. She never understood why he chose to watch Kid's show that night. She kept telling herself, if only-if only he was not going there that night. All this time, she wanted to blame Kid for everything he did, for stealing her father, for hurting her father, and that night he decided to hurt and steal her best friend. All this time, she never succeeded to hate the thief entirely, because what's the use when he was not even appear to hold heist anymore?
Now that she finally understood… Now that she had put the pieces together. She couldn't bring herself to blame Kaitou Kid. She couldn't bring herself to be angry at Kaito for deceiving her. All of that didn't matter if he wasn't even alive to hear her rage.
Still, it didn't stop her from coming home and cried behind her door all night.
- O –
Was it the alcohol or just herself, she did not know. Once she stepped out from the bus when it reached the familiar building, she could not bring her feet to leave.
She stood there with a rose in her hand. This way, Kaito would find her easier in the crowd. And it will be so much easier for him if she waited until the crowd had gone.
She did.
Time rolling, mocked her, challenged her for how long she would be able to postpone her limit.
Tic. Toc. Tic. Toc. The clock ticked off, the tower sang its music as the hand reached twelve.
He found her standing in front of the clock tower again. The snow had almost covered her shoes and he wondered again how long she had been standing there.
"Nakamori-san. Let's go home."
He heard no replied, but Shinichi knew she heard him. "Nakamori-san."
"No."
"Don't torture yourself like this. You only hurt yourself."
She looked at him with the coldest eyes, as cold as the wind blowing in this night. "You understand nothing of it."
This time he paused, shifting his gaze between her and the ground. "I do."
"You don't."
"Believe me, I do, Nakamori-san!" He added again softly, voice barely more than a whisper. "I do."
"No, you don't, Kudo-kun! You don't understand anything because you had known that Ran-san would never be back as much as you wanted her to be!"
Her outburst surely taken him aback as his eyes grew bigger the moment she mentioned about her. His dark blue orbs never left her. "How do you know about it?"
"I asked Ayumi-chan." She told him and handed him a photo she took from his drawer.
It was Shinichi's turn to turn away as he took the picture. "She's already dead, so is Kuroba Kaito." That was it. That was the same false truth everyone had said to her. Aoko held the rose closer to her heart. "No."
Shinichi abruptly leaped out and grabbed her shoulders. She reeked of alcohol, five time stronger than the last time. "Kuroba Kaito is dead! Face it, Nakamori-san!" He forced her to look at him, but then again she refused. "He's not! He'll come home-"
"Look at me! Damn it, Nakamori-san, look at me!"
Tears started to roll down her face as she saying to herself, telling him, that Kaito will be back. Her heart ached, her head ached, she lost half of her heart, how could she still breathe?
When her blue eyes finally met him, she thought she saw a flash of Kaito, but he wasn't.
"I don't want you hurt." He said softly. She wondered how their voice sounded the same. "So please… please…" One of Shinichi's hand touched her cheek where the other slowly reached up to open her trembling hand. It was cold and he almost jolted out in shock. The rose fell down from her hold, but he caught it, ignoring the scratches on her palm, because only Kaito would be able to give her torn less rose.
He let it slipped from his hold, falling into the ground with its red withering away in the white flakes.
"Stop waiting for him."
As she stood there with him, Aoko sobbed into his coat. Two people, sharing the same hurt, feeling the same pain, experienced the same loss. Meeting her was slowly breaking his solitude, a reality he had force himself to grasp the day Ran had died. Seeing her broken like this reminding him of the days he must face. He decided right there and then. He would not leave her until she found her solitude. His sight's getting blurry as a tear threatened to fall and Shinichi decided to be selfish. Just once. His hands reached out to hold her close, silently hearing her painful sobs.
Just one time.
- O -
He kept her close to him, afraid of seeing her standing for hours in the outside for the umpteenth time already. Every night after work, he would drive to the clock tower, finding her figure out there and sitting with her. Waiting with her. Though he didn't know who he waited for. Their interactions were limited. They did not talk much. He would tell whatever stories from work, and she would smile lightly.
One time he tried to ease her feelings, but it was a fail attempt as he was taken aback by the heavy feelings in his chest.
"How about we play twenty questions?" He suggested. To his surprise, Aoko chuckled a little.
"We aren't kids anymore, are we?" He merely shrugged. "If acting like kids make us easier to be honest with each other, why not?"
She was quiet for a moment, startled by this familiarity line of words about acting like a kid. Aoko quickly shook her head and smiled. "Okay, sure why not?"
Her companion returned the smile. "What's your favorite color?"
"You're a detective, try to figure it out yourself."
Shinichi raised his eyebrows. "Suddenly, I have a feeling you will say that to every question I ask." She let out a small chuckle.
"Alright. It's blue, isn't it? It's in your name, and you tend to wear blue" She nodded lightly. "Kaito said that blue suited me best. I guess that's really in my name."
He could not help but stared at her eyes longer than before. "I do actually agree with him." She stared back at him and looked away. "What's yours?"
Red
Red resembles a threat of fate linked to him and Ran
A damaged threat already
Shinichi gave her a smile. "I have none in particular."
"Honestly? There must be one."
He merely shook his head. "Honestly.
They did not talk much after that. Both of them refrained themselves from mentioning anything that could remind them of their losses. She needed time to step forward and he did not mind the wait. Shinichi could not careless how this was probably wrong. At least they would only be there for only an hour before he sent her home. Whatever this was, if it was a chance given to him, he would not let it go. He didn't expect things from her. Because he knew what it was like to be in her shoes, and he wanted her to pass the storm.
In the seventh days of waiting, when he walked over to her again that night she gave him a real genuine smile.
"Hey." He greeted her softly.
"Hey."
He dared to ask. "Are you feeling better?"
She stared out there, her gaze resting at the old clock in front of them. A tear slipped out of the corner of her eyes, just when she wanted to wipe it out, Shinichi's hand came into her view.
She inhaled deeply and closed her eyes. This is the time to let go.
Shinichi stood there, waiting for her as he took up the nerve. So, when he took a step closer to her, he knew it was the only chance he got. "Let's start over," he said, searching for her reaction. "Let's start over as if we haven't met before."
"My name's Kudo Shinichi, please to make your acquaintance."
Her blue eyes grew wider and she blinked. A memory blissed through her mind, reaching out to her, forcing to lock her down for the second time and threatening to steal her future.
She looked down at his offering hand that was nervously waiting for her to take it.
There were no roses out of thin air.
No roses.
She took a deep breath and smiled, taking Shinichi's hand in hers. It was warm this time.
"Hello, Kudo-kun. I'm Nakamori Aoko. Nice to meet you."
(Aoko)
A gust of wind blew her hair
Whispering
(Be Happy)
- O -
Author's note: Um… I've always imagined what if Shinichi and Aoko meet, and this comes out. Hope there will be anyone like it before I might delete it out of embarrassment for writing this aaaackT_T (hide in the corner)
