I kept hold of the memory box closely to me as I could tell Justin had so many questions burning away in his mind right now that he wanted to ask about the next content in the box that comes next in mine and Hannah's story together, he rubbed his hands over his eyes trying to figure out the perfect question to ask next
'Why didn't Hannah mention any of this on the tapes, your true relationship together on your tape and what you guys did together during the nights'
'Did she mention every little thing you guys did together on your tapes?' I questioned while Justin shook his head. 'I thought not. Hannah told her truths the way she wanted them to be told, what we did together when we met up was and still is no one else's business'
'Then why are you telling me all of this Clay?' he questioned, pursing his lips
'Because I'm angry all the time Justin, upset that she's gone for good but I still keep on thinking I'll see her again tomorrow' I stated, sighing heavily before meeting his gaze again. 'I miss her all the time and I haven't been able to fully open up to anyone about it, I miss my best friends so much'
Justin got up from his bed and walked over to me, pulling heavily on my arm and hauling me up to him, he embraced into a deep hug as tears started to form in my eyes and blurred my vision
'We all miss her all the time too Clay' he admitted, stroking my back soothingly. 'If you ever want to talk about Hannah just remember I'm always here for you, any time of the day or night Clay don't ever forget that'
'Thanks Justin' I croaked
He let go of me as we sat down my bed together while he handed me my memory box back, peeling off the lid of the box I rummaged around to find the next piece of memory of mine and Hannah's nights together.
'Can we talk about Hannah Now?' I asked
'Sure if it helps, I'm sorta fascinated what you guys secretly did together' he smiled weakly
At the bottom of the box I found what I was looking for and unpeeled a large bandage open before us, in the centre was a pool of dried up blood. My blood to be more exact from that night over a year ago
'This is what comes next'
'A blooded bandage' Justin questioned, raising a brow
My phone buzzed from my bedside table loudly, flashing up the screen to show I'd got a text from Tony, I dismissed it as I looked back down on the blooded bandage….
It was late friday night as I sat at my desk hopelessly trying to do my geometry homework that was due in monday morning when I heard a small knock on the window, completely dismissing it as possibly a tree branch hitting the window in the slight autumn breeze I tried to continue on with my homework when it happened again but louder this time. Jumping out of my chair I ran to the other of my bedroom petrified of what it could be
'Holy shit' I whispered quietly to myself
It was quiet for a few minutes as the knocks stopped before the buzz of my phone in my jean pocket startled me as I reached down to retrieve it, it was a text message from Hannah, I clicked it open to reveal a one worded text she sent.
'Incoming' I sighed gently, trying to figure out what it could mean
I heard a gentle knock on my bedroom window as I looked up from my phone, walking over towards my desk I pulled on the cord for the blinds to reveal Hannah Baker was out there on the other side of my window, I quickly pushed open my window and let her inside my bedroom, lending my hands which she thankfully took as I helped her in
'Jesus Hannah you scared the hell out of me'
'Sorry Helmet I didn't mean too' she proclaimed, seating down on my bed. 'So…this is what Clay Jensen's bedroom looks like'
Her eyes scanned my sorta messy bedroom looking at my stuff on shelves, Hannah's gaze landed on a few band posters and hand drawing on the wall when she finally turned to me and smiled warmly
'You sound disappointed Hannah. What were you expecting to find' I teased
'I don't know maybe some Star Wars lego for some reason I don't know why'
'Well I did have some set but I've put them into storage under my bed' I admitted shamelessly
Hannah raised her brow suggestively proving her point right as I tried to hide the embarrassing blush that appeared on my cheeks, she laughed lightly causing the smile on my face to grow before patting the spot next to her on my bed to join her
'Anyway what are doing here' I questioned, raising a brow
'Have you forgotten what tonight is'
'Umm…..yeah what is tonight by the way'
'It that weekend of every month we'd said we would spend together Helmet so here I am' she informed me
'Ok….right so what do you want to do tonight Hannah?' I asked
'I don't know Clay maybe we could go for a late night walk, you can show what cool places there are in this god forsaken town'
'Or how about we go for a late night ride on my bike, I mean I don't let anyone just ride my bike'
'Ok Helmet let's do that then' she replied. 'Does that mean I get vip service on your bike then?'
'Of course m'lady' I bowed in front of her like a true gentleman, reaching down beside my bed and giving her my helmet
Hannah got up from my bed and took a hold of my hand, guiding us over to my bedroom window as she lifted up the frame
'Why don't we just go out the front door Hannah?'
'Are you afraid of heights Helmet' she teased, squeezing my hand reassuringly
'What me of course not' I stated, hoping we wouldn't go out through the window
'Then we're going out through the window, I sneaked out of my house just to come see you tonight Helmet so you can do the same for me'
'This is the first time I've ever sneaked out of my house' I exclaimed, breathing heavily
'Trust me it gets addictive' Hannah smiled wickedly
'I'm starting to think you're just a bad influence on me Hannah Baker'
'Admit it Helmet you love me for it' she proclaimed, winking at me
I nodded my head in agreement as Hannah climbed out my window first while still keeping hold of my hand, she gave an encouraging tug of my arm to follow her to which I did and gently closed my window, both of us climbing down my roof and landing softly on the ground below to avoid drawing my parents attention who were in the living room.
Grabbing my bike out of the garage I took it the end of the driveway, I saddled up while Hannah jumped on top of the handlebars and adjusted my helmet I lent her
'Dear god Helmet you better not crash us I'm trusting you with my life'
'I won't trust me on this Baker' I assured
I pedalled out of my driveway and down the street quickly out of view from my house, Hannah took over steering my bike as I continued on pedalling around the town. We past Liberty High then the Crestmont before speeding down the road past Monet's, we stopped a few blocks away from Eisenhower Park for a midnight treat and grabbed an ice cream cone together from the local ice cream parlour that was still open
'So you're a mint choc chip kinda girl' I enquired as we stood outside eating our frozen treats
'That I am' she stated. 'I'm kind of surprised that you didn't get chocolate or bubblegum I thought that might be your favourite'
'Nope I'm strawberry straight up' I smiled, taking a seductive lick of my ice cream as we both chuckled
'You're such an enigma Clay Jensen' Hannah admitted. 'I' never would have guessed I look forward to knowing more about you Helmet'
'There really isn't much to know about me Hannah'
'I'm sure there is'
I turned to face Hannah and she extended her arm to my face, gently tapping her mint choc chip ice cream against my nose before laughing lightly
'Thanks Hannah' I groaned, wiping it off my nose
'Anytime Clay'
I went to go for Hannah in revenge but she was one step ahead on me and dodged my frailing attempts, her sweet laughter causing me to giggle as I chased her down the block. Dumping my bike to the ground I threw my arms around Hannah tightly when I finally caught hold of her
'Ok Helmet you got me' she pleaded, dodging my ice cream cone
I gently tapped my strawberry ice cream against her nose as she wiped it off immediately with her fingers and licked it, we both chuckled lightly over our ice cream fight as I picked up my bike from the ground, carrying on walking down the street while we finished off our midnight treat. Hannah froze in her track as I turned back around to see what she was looking at deep in thought, she was looking at the playground in Eisenhower Park more specifically the rocket slide
'What's wrong Hannah?' I asked, confused to why she was staring at it
'I wanted my first kiss to be innocent Clay, I used to love playing in the park as a little girl with my dad all the time and now….every time I go past a park all I think about is how Justin ruined me with that picture and all the rumours that dripped toxic from everyone mouths afterwards when it was spread around the school'
I could see some of the pain behind Hannah's tears she was trying desperately to hold back and fake a reassuring smile, placing my bike to rest against a lamppost I bought Hannah into a hug, I felt her arms swooped around me as she laid her head against my chest, I looked down at Hannah and saw tears welling in her eyes as one snuck free that slid down her cheek
'I'm sorry Hannah' I stated, wiping that tear away with my thumb
'What for'
'For believing the rumours at first. I've known you now for a few weeks Hannah I should never have believed them in the first place' I admitted, sighing deeply. 'I wish people didn't believe the rumours and see you the way I do'
'How do you see me Helmet?' Hannah enquired
'A sweet, caring and funny girl, if the kids at Liberty got to know you the way I do then they would be so lucky to have and call you a friend like I do'
'Thanks Clay' she whispered softly, her gaze landing back on the rocket slide as Hannah's smiled dropped completely
'Right…..I'm gonna prove to you not all guys are like Justin Foley at Liberty'
'How Helmet' she questioned, raising a brow
'He ruined your memories of parks forever so how about tonight we play in the park together and create new ones'
Hannah smiled weakly and pulled out of my embrace while wiping away any water marks left on her cheeks, taking my helmet from the bike she adjusted the strap while I jumped on my bike, she climbed onto the handle bar as I rode us away from her bad memories of Eisenhower Park to another Park on the other side of town…
Hannah and I played on the swing set first then the merry go round, her deep laughter made my smiler grow wider as I spun us both faster, Hannah held out her hand for me to take to which I did when I jumped back on after giving us another quick spin
'I'm slipping Helmet' she cried, her hand sliding out of my grasp
'I've got you Hannah' I called out as I entwined our fingers together and held on for dear life on the bars
As the merry go round came to a slow grinding halt we both stepped off it with our hands still connected together, my eyes were still spinning in their sockets as we both decided to climb the jungle gym. Miraculously we made it up to the top with our heads still spinning without falling off and hurting ourselves on the way down, I sat down on a flat area just before the start of the slide as Hannah sat down in my lap and curled up against my chest
'Thanks Helmet for doing this. Making new memories for me' she admitted, her body shaking lightly from the cold wind that swept in tonight
'No problem Hannah' I smiled
Hannah took out her phone from her jean pocket and opened up the camera, she throw her arm around my neck and drew me closer to her as she rested her head against my shoulder while I lightly wrapped my arms around her waist holding her steady
'Smile Helmet'
We smiled widely when she took the photos and placed her phone back in her pocket, her body still shivered from the brutal cold winds as I shredded off my jacket and placed it on Hannah's shoulders
'Here take it Hannah'
'You sure Helmet'
I nodded my head while she slid her arms through the sleeve and lifted up her beautiful brunette hair that got strapped by the jacket
'I'll be fine' I informed her, pulling the zip up on the jacket to the top. My gaze seeing the huge smile on Hannah's face as I felt the heat rise in my cheek
'Can we play a game I used to play as a kid Helmet?'
'Sure what was it' I enquired as she rose up from my lap, missing her body heat immediately as I felt the cold winds against my skin
'Tag' she screamed loudly and slid down the slide
I chuckled lightly as I rose up from the floor to see Hannah had reached the bottom and was waiting for me to come down to her before she ran off around the playground. I cornered her around the slide after I chased around the jungle gym twice and grabbed hold of Hannah. Lifting her off her feet I placed her down on the slide and caged her in from a quick escape, drawing my face closer to her I bopped her nose
'Tag you're it' I laughed
I rose up quickly from her on the slide before she could tag me back and ran off as Hannah's laughter filled the air as she gave chase, I looked back to where she was when I felt a huge weight of a strong object smack me right across the head as I fell to the ground from it. I felt soft hands wrapped around my head as my vision came back to normal and saw Hannah crouch down in front of me
'Oh my god Clay, are you alright' she asked frantically. 'Helmet your bleeding should I take you to the hospital'
'No Hannah they'll phone my mum and she'll just worry like mad over something over nothing really'
'You're bleeding badly on your forehead Helmet. Come back to mine at least and I'll clean you up' Hannah suggested
I nodded my head while Hannah helped me back up to my feet, my head throbbed like bad as I felt my blood leaking out of me on my fingers, Hannah wrapped her arm around my waist for support to lean on and placed my arm around her. We walked back to her house in the dead silent night as there weren't much people around now…
Sitting down on the edge of Hannah's bed I waited for her to appear back from the bathroom with a first aid box, she quietly entered her bedroom and gently closed the door shut to not wake her parents up. Hannah cleaned up my cut on my forehead and applied some antiseptic cream to the wound, she placed a huge bandage on my forehead and gave me some Tylenol
'How are you feeling Clay?'
'I feel fine. Thanks for not calling an ambulance Hannah' I replied, standing up and feeling my balance starting to wobble as Hannah placed her hand on my arm to steady me
'You don't look fine Helmet' she informed me. 'Stay here tonight so I can keep an eye on you, I don't want to send you away like this Clay in the middle of the night. Anything could happen to you'
'Ok Hannah'
'You can sleep in my bed tonight Helmet I'll find something for you to change into' she informed me. 'I'll text Tony to give you a lift home in the morning'
I nodded my head as Hannah left her bedroom once again with the first aid kit and returned minutes later changed into her PJs and throw me some of her dad's sleeping shorts and a t-shirt, she turned her back to me while I got changed quickly and got under the duvet on her bed. Hannah lifted up the duvet and climbed in next to me as our faces were just inches apart from each other, our gaze locked with one another as she reached out and touched my forehead gently
'Ouchhhhhh' I groaned, muffling into one of her pillow to keep the noise down
'Does it till hurt Clay I barely touched it'
'It's just throbbing like crazy Hannah'
'Maybe this will help' she suggested
Hannah sat up slightly in her bed and softly planted her hand against my cheek, she drew my head up closer to her and delicately pressed her lips against the bandage and kissed where it hurt the most, a small amount of pain subsided from the gentle kiss
'Any better' Hannah asked, raising a brow
'Much better'
'If you wake up during the night needing more Tylenol Helmet then there's some on my bedside table' she motioned behind her
'Thanks Hannah for taking care of me tonight I really appreciate it' I admitted, leaning forward and kissed her forehead softly
'I'll always take care of my Helmet' she smiled as we chuckled lightly and moved a bit closer to each other in bed, Hannah reached up from underneath the duvet and took hold of my hand in hers, her thumb moving soothingly over my knuckles, making sure I wouldn't get up and leave during the middle of the night, when she was done I drew up her hand to my mouth and kissed her knuckles as I rested our hands back to where they were, in the middle of us as we drifted off into peaceful sleep right next to each other…..
The morning sun peaked through the sides of her blind and lit up Hannah's room, my sleepy eyes adjusting to the day and saw hands were still connected together from last night. I gave a gentle squeeze and Hannah's eye lids flutter open and saw where my gaze was staring at, our joined hands together as she had a sleepy smile on her face and squeezed my hand back gently
'Morning Helmet'
'Hey Hannah'
'How's your head' she asked, inspecting the bandage
'It's not that bad now'
'I'm gonna go check if the coast is clear, Tony said he'll be waiting at the end of the block to pick you up'
Hannah got up from her bed and left the room, I missed the warmth from her hand as I quietly got up and changed back into my clothes from last night, looking into the mirror I removed the bandage and touched my forehead it was still slightly wet and a small amount of blood leaked from me, I put back on my bandage as Hannah entered her bedroom
'Coast is clear and my parents are still asleep, Tony is putting your bike in the trunk of his car' she informed me. 'I'd changed the bandage if I was you when you get home Helmet'
'Thanks again Hannah for everything you did for me last night'
'It was nothing don't mention it Helmet' she smiled assuringly. 'See you tonight'
'Tonight?' I asked
'At work or are you gonna phone in sick'
'I'll be there Hannah' I assured her
I hugged Hannah goodbye tightly to muffle out her giggles from how tight I clung to her, our faces inches apart while our gaze locked with one another as we didn't look away, I bore my eyes into her as we both swooped down and kissed each other's cheek, creeping out of her bedroom I saw the blush on Hannah's face as she touched the cheek I kissed and smiled, we waved goodbye once more as I left her home and got into Tony's cherry red Mustang
'Hannah Baker ehh' he questioned, raising a brow suggestively
'Shut it Tony we aint like that at all'
'I didn't say anything'
'Didn't have too' I protested
Tony pulled away from the Baker's residence as I looked over to Hannah's bedroom, I could see her standing by the window as she watched us leave and waved again….
Holding onto the bandage in my hands I folded it up carefully and placed it back inside the memory box, I looked up and saw Justin was staring at me as I placed the box down on my nightstand
'You two really cared for each other didn't you Clay, took care of one another when you needed it'
'More than anyone knows' I stated
'Look Clay…..I'm not going to push you to open up and tell me everything inside the box straight away but I feel like you've got this whole weight on your shoulders that you need to get off' he admitted, sighing deeply. 'Just come and talk to me when you feel like you can carry on with what's next ok Clay'
'I will Justin no more closed book from me I promise it's just….reliving these memories it's hard for me to talk about without missing her and wanting to hold Hannah again' I sobbed, feeling my throat stating to close up tightly from the crying of telling Justin these personal memories of the what could have been of all them nights together
'Everything does start to get easier when you start talking about it, trust me it does. We can talk more about it tomorrow if you want' Justin admitted, smiling weakly while turning off the light in the room. 'Night Clay'
'Night'
I closed my eyes and tried to go to sleep when a vision of Hannah Baker appeared in my mind, she giggled lightly and all the happy memories we shared together started to play before me as I tried to hold onto them before all the bad ones of her life started to overshadow them as I quietly cried myself to sleep like I had been doing so for months now, the pain I felt in my body was still hot and raw as I couldn't shake off the bad memories just yet and hold onto the good ones and think of them like Hannah had wanted me to do ….
