Chapter Zwei

"There are no safe paths in this part of the world. Remember you are over the Edge of the Wild now, and in for all sorts of fun wherever you go." -J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit

The sky was dark in the Shire as the sun disappeared under the green hills. The usually peaceful dwelling of Bilbo Baggins was alive with the hustle and bustle of a race many residents of the Shire had never seen before. Dwarves. Twelve of them. However, the sound of the dwarves fell into a murmuring at the sight of Gandalf the Grey carrying what appeared to be a female dwarf; a rarity among their race. Gandalf set her down on the wooden floor. The twelve dwarves circled around her, breath ceasing when she appeared to stir. Groaning, she blinked wearily, rubbing her eyes.

Hazel eyes cracked open, gazing at the wizard. Croakily, she said one word bemusedly.

"Dumbledore?"


Gwen's body hurt; she could feel the pain seeping through every muscle into her tired bones. She looked up wearily, to see an old man. Now, having not read the Harry Potter series (unless you count watching the first movie), nor The Hobbit, she came to the conclusion any typical person would come to.

"Dumbledore?"

The man chuckled and looked at her amusedly. Suddenly, she noticed there were other people in the room, turned her head around, wincing as she did. To her surprise, she was surrounded by twelve...very short men. Her sight was particularly drawn to a few of the men; a fat, squat one with a peculiarly braided beard, a piece of bread in his mouth, one with what she thought was quite the impressive mustache and hat, and stopped on a pair of dwarves that appeared younger than the rest. One had blonde hair and an unusual pair of lip braids. The other seemed very different from the others, lacking a beard or collection of unusual braids, and, well.. was very handsome. He had dark hair and brown eyes, and a smaller nose than the others. Willing a blush not to appear on her cheeks, she mentally reminded herself of where she was.

"Where the hell am I?" She asked confused.

"You are in Middle Earth, the Shire. I found you on the side of the road on my way here." Said Not-Dumbledore, looking at her in a way that clearly said "explain. Now."

"I.. I should be in New Hampshire.. I.. Middle Earth? What? I was walking to my apartment and then.." She trailed off, memories going fuzzy afterwards. Not-Dumbledore smiled at her.

"Well, I am not sure where this.. New Hampshire is, but I am Gandalf." Said Not-D- Gandalf.

The.. dwarves seemed to take this as a sign to introduce themselves.

"Bombur." Said the squat one.

"Bofur," Said the dwarf with the impressive hat.
"Bifur" Grunted out a man with what appeared to be a piece of axe in his head.

"Oin"

"Gloin"

"Dori"

"Nori" Said a dwarf with an unusually braided mohawk style hair.

"Ori"

"Balin"

"Dwalin" Said a rough looking dwarf with tattoos on his head.

"Fili" Said the lip-braid dwarf

"Kili." Finished the attractive dwarf.

"At your service." They chorused together.

"Well, you guys certainly know how to make a girl feel special." Gwen chuckled

"I'm Gwenneth. Gwenneth Maccabee."

Kili bent down, reaching his calloused hand to help her get up. She blushed, accepting his hand.

"Well Miss Gwenneth it's a pleasure to meet you." He said.

"Just Gwen."She said


As Gwen sat at the table, she joined the merrymaking and loudness that was the dwarves. She grabbed a slice of bread, ripping off chunks and stuffing them into her mouth, spreading honey on the pieces as she went.

"If you don't mind my asking, what are you? You appear to be a female dwarf yet you have no beard, your feet are too small to be a hobbit's and while your features are delicate like an elf's but you are far too short to be one." Said Gandalf, making Gwen cough on her meal. A dwarf? She thought it was pretty obvious that she was human. Human. Not dwarf, not elf, not a hobbit. Human.
"What? It's pretty obvious I'm a human.. I'm pretty sure dwarves aren't five foot six.. I'm way too tall to be a dwarf I think." Said Gwen, shaking her head in disbelief. Was she really having this conversation? In Middle Earth, sitting next to Dwarves? Gandalf looked at her confusedly.

"My dear, what do you mean five foot six? You appear to be around four foot eight.." Gandalf trailed off, noticing Gwen's look of horror and confusion.

She looked down at herself, just now noticing the fact that her legs were far too short to be hers, the torso not long enough. She couldn't believe that only now she had noticed that her clothes seemed to be made for someone much larger than she was, her coat encasing her all the way to her knees. Raising her hands up to her eyes shakily, she noticed that everything about her seemed smaller.

"What?... I.. I was human….. I.." She said shakily.

"It seems that something has brought you here, to our world." Said Gandalf.

Gwen wasn't sure she liked the cryptic way he spoke.


At the loud knock of a door the room went silent.

"He's here." Said Gandalf, leaving Gwen wondering who was here and how much power they held to cease the dwarf's sound.

The round green door opened, revealing a figure entering the doorway. Though he was short compared to the wizard, he seemed to hold a certain power over the dwarves. His presence exuded power, so thick she could feel it in the air.

"Gandalf,"He said in greeting

"I thought you said this place would be easy to find, I lost my way twice. Wouldn't have found it at all if it weren't for that mark on the door." He said, entering the room. He began unfastening his cloak as he continued to speak.

"W-What? There's no mark on that door, it was painted a week ago!" Bilbo interrupted

"There is a mark, I put it there myself." Corrected Gandalf

"Bilbo Baggins, allow me to introduce you to the leader of our company, Thorin Oakenshield."

"So," Thorin began "This is the Hobbit."

"Tell me, Mr. Baggins, have you done much fighting?"

"P-Pardon me?"

"Axe or sword. What is your weapon of choice?"

"Well, I do have some skill at Conkers, if you must know, but I fail to see why that is relevant." Bilbo replied and Gwen raised an eyebrow. She wasn't sure what "Conkers" was, but it didn't exactly sound threatening.
"Thought as much." Said Thorin

"He looks more like a grocer than a burglar."

Everyone laughed, including Gwen who had to agree. Though she felt a bit sorry for the poor Hobbit, Thorin's statement had made her and everybody laugh.

"And who is this, Gandalf?" Asked Thorin, noticing the only female in the room. With all eyes on her, Gwen took a nervous gulp.

"Why, that is Miss Gwenneth, I found her on the road to the Shire unconscious. I do believe she will be an asset to this company. A woman's touch, if you will." Replied Gandalf. Gwen had to snort at that; she wasn't known to be the most.. feminine woman, but she could cook and sew and she supposed that was what men from these times looked for in a woman.

"Is that so?"Said Thorn.

"Tell me, girl. What can you do for this company?"

Gwen's eye twitched at being called "girl". She had forgotten that most men in this time period were a bit sexist.

"I can sew and cook, plus I took archery as a child. You could teach me how to fight on the way. And my name is Gwen. Not Girl. Get it right next time." She huffed in frustration.

"You need to learn some respect." Said Thorin, walking into the dining room.

"You have to earn it first." Gwen grumbled underneath her breath, following the retreating Dwarves to the dining room.

Thorin sat at the head of the table, occupants quiet as Balin pulled a roll of parchment out of his pocket, unrolling it with a rustle.

"Well, give him the contract, Mister Balin." Said Thorin

The hobbit read the contract, face growing more pale as he continued to read.

"Incineration?" She heard Bilbo ask

"Think furnace with wings. Burn the flesh right off yer bones." Bofur had to add, causing the timid hobbit to gulp and sit straight up. Gwen could feel the blood draining from her face. What exactly was this journey of theirs? Gwen suddenly felt a bit nervous about joining them. Kili looked over to her with a concerned look on his face.

"Are you alright?" He asked quietly and she raised a hand to her forehead.
"Y-yeah.. It's just been one hell of a day." She responded.

Abruptly, Bilbo fell to the floor in a dead faint, doing exactly what Gwen was worried she would do. Taking a deep breath, she steadied herself for reading the contract.

"But Thorin, what about Miss Gwenneth?" Said the Balin.

Thorin seemed to mentally debate it for a moment, scratching at his beard in a typical thinking fashion. Finally, he conceded.

"Fine, give her the contract as well."

Gwen reached over and grabbed the rough parchment from Balin's fingers, clutching the paper in her grasp. Reading over it, she could completely relate with Bilbo. She read over one sentence that caused her to stop. Funeral expenses. She took a deep breath, grasping the pen in her hand. Oh well, I have no idea what I'm doing here, but as they say, fuck it. She thought, and signed the page.

And thus, Gwenneth Maccabee became the fourteenth member of the company.