A/N; Thanks for all the favourites and alerts and of course Reviews! This chapter is from Ashley's POV, italics represent flashback and typed words, though it should be pretty clear which is which. Please let me know what you think so R&R!

Disclaimer: Mass Effect and characters belong to Bioware. The song 'If It Means A Lot To You' belongs to A Day To Remember. Finally the song Shepard uses is 'Always' and belongs to Panic! At The Disco.


If It Means A Lot To You Pt 2

And hey sweetie,
Well I need you here tonight.
And I know that you don't wanna be leaving me,
Yeah you want it, but I can't help it.
I just feel complete when you're by my side,
But I know you can't come home till they're singing,
La, la la la, la la la.

The door of the Citadel apartment beeped as it slid open and Ash stumbled through the door, cursing under her breath as she threw all of the paperwork she'd been saddled with on the couch. She breathed heavily and ran a hand over her hair in an attempt to restrain the stray hairs that had escaped from her tight bun.

Ashley looked down at the piles of paper and datapads shaking her head slightly in disbelief, who knew that this SpecTRE training involved so much bloody paperwork? If she wanted to be a desk jockey she would have applied for that.

Shepard never seemed to have that much paperwork, actually check that he was always in his cabin when he wasn't talking to the crew or in the mess, Ash now understood how he spent his time.

Shepard.

Ashley felt like shit after Horizon no other way to put it, and she had probably made him feel the same way. Although about a week after Horizon she felt the need to excuse herself through an e-mail.

Ash sat slumped at her desk in the small apartment she had been put up in. Her terminal towering over her as she thought back to Horizon. Shepard didn't deserve the 'welcome back' she gave him, this was no hind sight thing though, and this was something she regretted the moment she walked away. She buried her hands in her head, who treats the man they loved, love? She wasn't sure at that moment but she still felt disgusted with herself.

Ash quickly opened up a message and began to type trying to express her apologies but also try to justify her actions; she found the message surprisingly easy to write. She read through it and was already happy with the end product. Now smiling slightly she signed it. However her smile faded, there was something wrong with the message...She felt the need to show her unsure feelings. She thought about how to do this she definitely was not a words person. Her mind quickly flickered back to the time she admitted that to him, after reciting her favourite passage from 'Ulysses', well perhaps not her favourite but certainly the part that summarised Shepard. Ash couldn't quite explain what compelled her to type out that passage at the bottom of the message, but it just seemed to complete her message. She hit the send button hoping the message would reach him. She felt the weight lift of her shoulders.

Ash was still wondering whether he would ever reply, she knew he had a busy schedule, but the insecure part of her mind wondered whether he would ever forgive her, hell she didn't even know if she would forgive herself. And now she was training to become the second human SpecTRE considering the first one has gone 'rogue,' and has become 'un-reliable', in the words of Councillor Valern. But that SpecTRE was the one she owed this opportunity to; he gave her the best recommendation possible when they completed their mission to stop Saren. That's what got her noticed by the SpecTRE's and got her promotion to Operations Chief and more recently Lieutenant. Ash had always felt that he was giving her preferential treatment despite the fact that he always swore that he didn't.

"Skipper you better not be treating me differently to the rest of the crew, because I don't need it," She warned, a stern strong look in her eyes. Ashley had began to think of Shepard as more than a Commanding Officer, she knew he thought the same way, he told her as such. He was a very blunt person she appreciated that a lot, no sidestepping with Shepard it always was a straightforward assault.

"Ash, I promise you are gaining no preferential treatments," He said eyes sincere, truthful.

"Then why am I always going groundside with you?" She asked, she probably believed him but when you were a relative of General Williams, you treated everyone with suspicion. She didn't want his sympathy.

"Chief, you are undoubtedly one of the best soldier's I have ever served with," Ash felt her cheeks redden slightly. "If you think I bring you groundside because of our..." he stumbled searching for the right words in his mind, "...Relationship," he cringed slightly regretting his word choice already but kept speaking, "then you're wrong, the reason I bring you with me as I know I can trust you to watch my back," his crooked smile spread across his face. "Not to mention if I screw up I know you'll tell me."

Ashley found it hard to restrain her smile, it was kind of sweet when he stumbled over his words. How she a simple marine could have Commander Shepard, the man who negotiates cease fires with biotic extremists, stumble over his words. "Well you kind of screwed up just then Skipper," She laughed slightly at his cheeks as they began to colour.

Shepard rubbed the back of his neck, "Yeah, thanks for pointing it out," he replied his voice filled with sarcasm. Their eyes caught for longer than usual, the tint of blue in his eyes shining back to the dark brown of her own. Ash forced herself to look away. That was close, too close. He knew it too. "I'll talk to you later Ash," he said as he slowly turned to walk away.

"Looking forward to it...oh and Skipper," she said causing his body to spin back round to look at her. "I may be watching more than you're back," she whispered with a seductive rasp in her voice as she winked at him then turned back to her station busying herself with upgrading the weapons.

Bringing her back to the current day was the sound of ringing coming from the terminal based on the desk in the corner of the room. Ash pulled herself back to reality and sauntered to the terminal, it was an incoming video call from Abby. She accepted the call, and quickly sat down in the chair to see her sister, with her young nephew; Elliot who sat on her lap contently making a gurgling noise. Abby looked quite a bit like Ash as they shared the same dark eyes and full lips, although Abby had her mother's light brown hair compared to Ashley who had inherited the dark brown hair from her father.

"Hey Abs," Ash said with a smile as she looked at Elliot.

"Hey sis, how's the whole training thing going?" Abby asked.

"Slowly...A lot of paperwork," Ashley replied honestly.

"Told you it wouldn't be all fun and games," Abby chuckled slightly back at her sister.

At that moment baby Elliot started crying and despite Abby's best efforts he wouldn't stop, the next thing Ashley saw was James swoop by and take the crying baby from her sister, "Oh hey Ash," James said as he passed in front of the camera.

"Hey James, how's the engineering job going?" Ash asked, she liked James. Although when Abby had first brought him round to the house, she was the typical big sister making sure he was the 'right sort' for Abby, but he quickly passed her test. From what Ash could tell he was a great boyfriend and father, at least one of the Williams sisters knew where their love life was.

"Going good, just got a new contract," James answered back over Elliot's hollering, "I better go deal with grumpy, Bye Ash," James walked away from the screen cooing the baby.

"Bye," she shouted unsure whether or not he heard her. "You did well Sis," Ash commented on her relationship.

"I know. Any special guy for you yet?" Abby asked raising an eyebrow with a grin, although after seeing Ashley wince she dropped her eyebrow and her head slightly. "Sorry, still complicated huh?" She asked she knew Ashley's relationship status was always complicated, although just how complicated Abby couldn't comprehend.

Ashley feigned a reassuring smile. "That's one way to put it," she didn't want to talk about this; it's not that Abby didn't listen or that she didn't trust her, she just didn't want to talk about it. "Anyway, Elliot looks well," Ash continued the conversation breaking the awkwardness.

Abby picked her head up and smiled at her sister once again, "Actually that's one of the reasons I called, did you get the e-mail I sent you? It has a video in with him having a laughing fit it's really cute," Abby said her voice evidentially excited.

Ashley smiled how Abby; her strangest sister called a baby laughing 'cute' instead of 'stupid' or 'boring' as she used to. "Haven't checked my e-mails, I just got in one minute I'll look now," She humoured her sister as she minimised the video call and went to check her e-mails.

"Ok," Abby confirmed.

Ashley looked as her inbox read three new messages; One from Abby, one asking whether she was "Big Enough in the bedroom", and the final one from...Ash gasped loudly, him.

"Sis...?" Abby asked nervously.

No answer.

"Sis, say something you alright?" Abby's voice became more panicky.

Ashley gulped hard bringing herself back to hear Abby's worried voice ring through her ears. "I'm fine...I'll call you back," She said hurriedly.

"Wha-?" Abby's voice was cut off as Ash hit the disconnect button. Re-opened her e-mail inbox and opened the one from Shepard. She couldn't help but wonder what compelled him to send her a reply after about two months after she had sent hers; she swiftly stopped these thoughts telling herself just to read the damn message.

Her eyes widened as she slowly read the words, taking in every detail;

Re; Hey there
From; Commander_

Ash-

I'm incredibly sorry for not replying earlier, not to make excuses but the main reason being I've been ridiculously busy. The other reason...well I guess I didn't know what to say (I'm no more of a words person than you are), but here it goes;

I'm not going to lie to you, Horizon did hurt; A lot, but I can understand why you said what you did. I also need to apologise I just didn't realise even though it was two months for me; it was two years for you. I'm so sorry for leaving you Ash; you know I would never leave you through choice.

While I'm writing this the Normandy is on its way to the Omega 4 Relay, we're only two hours or so out...I'm worried Ash. I've already lost my entire crew to the Collectors. I guess that's another reason I decided to write this now, funny how our emotions and passions are at their highest when we're about to challenge death huh? Like Ilos, although no beautiful, badass marine to keep me company this time.

Ashley grinned slightly feeling her body heat up, before she trained her eyes back to the screen;

I guess what I'm saying is I miss you Ash, but in the same way I'm glad you're not here, I would never forgive myself if something were to happen to you (Cliché? You know me)I don't know what will happen, but I want you to know that I will always be yours but if the worst comes to past, I hope you have an excellent life, career and find the perfect man; you deserve all of it.

Ash felt her eyes moisten and glass over at the thought of losing him again;

But let's just hope the worst doesn't come to past.

She wiped a hand over her eyes and let out an unnerved chuckle, at the way he could so easily dismiss death.

Trust me I have plenty of determination and drive to come back, even if it is just that flicker of hope that you still feel the same we used to. Whatever long shot that may or may not be. I will let you know what will happen; after I do the impossible, again. I promise.

Yours Always,

Skipper

P.S You know I don't have poetry memorised like you, but as you know I love my 21st century music hope this brings back some memories;

It was always you falling for me,
now there's always time calling for me.
I'm the light blinking at the end of the road,
blink back to let me know.

Ash smiled as she kept re-reading the message. Her worry for his safety was also on her mind, but somehow his message had eased her nerves, perhaps it was his honesty. Somehow in her heart she just knew he'd pull this off, it was his job to do the impossible. She glanced at the time the message was sent; her heart skipped a couple of beats, as he had sent the message three hours ago. He'd be through the relay by now...hopefully. He'd be there at the forefront of humanity's defence once again, and out of all the women in the galaxy he could so easily get he was chasing her.

She looked at the final words or rather lyrics he had typed out, her mind recalling the time she found out his unknown skill, well unknown to many but her;

Ash stood outside Shepard's cabin a bottle of whiskey in her hand, she was going to ask him to celebrate Armistice Day with her, when a muted sound came from inside. She pressed her ear to the cold metal door to hear a voice with a smooth musical sound accompanying it. The voice was singing along to the tune played, although she couldn't quite make out the words.

Pulling her ear away from the door she tentatively raised her hand and rapped a small tune on the door. "Come in," she heard his voice call from inside. She hit the button and the door slid open to reveal Shepard sat on the edge of his bed with an old acoustic guitar perched professionally on his lap. Raising an eyebrow she stepped through the threshold of the door letting it slide shut behind her. Shepard laid his guitar on the bed and stood up to greet her, "Hey Ash" he glanced down to the bottle she held in her hand. "What's the bottle for?" He questioned before gently removing it from her hand to examine it, their fingers grazed causing a small shock to course through Ashley's body.

"Thought you'd share a drink with me Skipper, it's Armistice day," Ash explained hoping it wasn't an unreasonable request, it seemed like a good idea five minutes ago.

"Sure, why not?" Shepard exclaimed as he walked over to his desk opened the draw where he pulled out two shot glasses, Ash wondered why he had them there but instead her focus was drawn to the instrument that was on his bed.

Just as Shepard opened the bottle Ash spoke, "You play the guitar?" Her curiosity got the better of her.

He stopped and set the bottle down, walked over to the bed and sat balancing the guitar on his lap before strumming through all the strings once, "When I have time," he answered.

Ash walked over looking down at Shepard holding the guitar, how hands so adept to killing looked like any other pair of hands wrapped around the guitar. "When did you learn?" She asked generally interested in how a committed soldier found the time to learn to play a musical instrument. He scooted over, allowing her to take a seat which she did so making sure to place herself the right distance from him, not too close but not too far that she'd be falling of the bed.

"When I was a child, I got it for my...ninth birthday from my mum, a kid who spends all his time on a star ship can get pretty bored," he smiled at her. "I sort of taught myself to play, occasionally this serviceman mum had on board would teach me," Shepard paused drumming his fingers on the neck of the guitar trying to remember his name "Private Harris, was his name," Shepard concluded.

Ash smiled trying to imagine a nine year old Shepard sat on his own teaching himself to do something, it was an endearing thought. "What was that you were playing before I came in?" She asked her curiosity peaking once again.

"A song," he eluded the question." Wait you heard me singing?"He joked slightly although a small blush blemished upon his cheeks.

"Not really the door blocked most of the sound," she saw Shepard relax slightly. Before she stopped herself her words fell out for her mouth, "Sing it to me."

He gulped slightly, "Might be a bit sappy for you Chief," he smiled. He didn't mind singing but he didn't really like the idea of an audience, admittedly it was only Ash but he was worried about embarrassing himself. His mum always said he was good, but that was his mum all mum's had to say that.

"Try me," she almost whispered. "And Skipper, I'm the one who recites poetry remember?" She chuckled lightly.

He sighed this was a battle he wasn't going to win. "Ok fine, but promise not to laugh," he warned, although fairly aware that Ash knew better than to laugh at her Commanding Officer.

"I promise."

"Ok then here it goes," Shepard said as he concentrated on the guitar strumming specific chords in a soft melodic tune, his eyes were still focused on the guitar as he began to sing, albeit quietly;

"When the world get's too heavy
put it on my back, I'll be your levy.
You are taking me apart,
like bad glue on a get well card."

Ash was speechless, he wasn't a fantastic singer but he was definitely a good singer. Shepard was now seemingly in the rhythm as he drew his eyes from the guitar in order to look at her, as he sang the next couple of lines;

"It was always you falling for me,
Now there's always time calling for me.
I'm the light blinking at the end of the road,
blink back to let me know."

Shepard played a couple of other strings and finished with a final strum of all six strings, staring back at the guitar as he finished. Ash didn't say anything; she didn't quite know what to say. "That's not the whole song but..." Shepard stopped looking deep into Ash's eyes, there was something there. He blinked a couple of times to snap himself away. "Anyway how about that drink?" He smiled before standing to pour out the glasses.

Ash sat grinning to herself, if someone was to look into her apartment now it would have looked ridiculous. She still found it hard to believe how Commander Craig Shepard found his time to sing and play the guitar. He had promised he would teach her one day. She smiled slightly before opening up a reply and simply typing a four word response;

See you soon Skipper.