When Elissa woke up the first thing she heard was the crackling of a fire. She sat up and felt the flames heating her face. Somebody had put her too close to the fire. She rolled to the cold side until she felt confident that she was far enough from the fire, then she tried standing up. She tried to remember what had happened, why she had been lying on the ground. Realization hit her like a punch to the gut.
The attack. Her home on fire. Her father dying. Her father. Elissa sank to her knees again, suddenly stricken by grief. She fought the sudden nausea that rolled over her in waves; she didn't want to throw up. Not hear, not now.
"Lissy!" She heard footsteps come closer, footsteps she recognized as Aedan's, they were followed by heavier and calmer steps that she wasn't familiar with, but when the second voice spoke she knew that it was Duncan.
"Elissa," he said, his voice strangely soothing, "are you all right?"
Elissa tried to answer but all that came out was cries, the poor girl was still in a state of panic.
"What should we do?" Aedan said, his voice almost shrill.
Heavy hands placed themselves on her shoulders again.
"Breathe," Duncan said, "in through your nose and out through your mouth."
Elissa tried to listen but felt her breath coming faster and faster. The more panicked she felt, the calmer Duncan seemed to become.
"Try to focus," he said, "count with me. Focus on my voice. One, two, three, four, five…" he kept counting, keeping his voice calm. The entire world shrank away until all Elissa could hear was the crackling of the fire and Duncan's tranquil counting. Her erratic breathing subsided and her heart calmed down. Tears kept falling down her cheeks but she no longer felt like crawling out of her own skin.
"Better?" Duncan asked when he had reached hundred. Elissa nodded. She steadied herself using his arms but let them go when she realized that she didn't actually know him.
"Thank you, ser," she whispered, "where are we?"
"We are near the city of Amaranthine," Duncan replied, "we are waiting for dawn. We need to figure out where to go from here. Me and Aedan are going to continue on to Ostagar, your brother will join the Grey wardens but…" He trailed off. It didn't matter. Elissa understood what he meant, anyway. They couldn't bring a useless blind cripple to the front lines.
"What are you going to do with me?"
There was no answer at first and Elissa imagined them looking at each other, wondering what to tell her.
"We have relations in Amaranthine," Aedan said suddenly, "mother's uncle and his wife lives there. Maybe they would take Lissy in?" Elissa couldn't help but wince. It hurt her that Aedan was talking about her like she wasn't there but it hurt her even more that he was willing to just send her off to live with her mother's strange and poor relatives.
"What do you say, Elissa?" Duncan asked suddenly.
"Whatever you think is best, ser, "she said, dejected. She had given up. She didn't care what happened to her anymore. She just wanted the nightmare to end. She wanted to wake up in her own bed, have breakfast in the main hall with her father and mother and then spend her day hearing one of her favourite stories.
"You don't care what happens to you?" Duncan asked, his voice lighter, as if surprised or shocked.
Elissa didn't answer.
"Can I sleep, ser?" She asked instead, "I am very tired and if we're not about to continue our journey right now it would be nice to sleep some more."
"Of course," Duncan replied and Elissa felt Aedan's hands on hers, guiding her to the pile of cloths she had woken up on a while ago. She pulled them a bit further away from the fire and then lie down. She didn't sleep for the rest of the night; instead she was just lying still, listening to the quiet breathing of Duncan, Aedan's faint snoring and the soothing crackling of the fire.
…
It was a cold breeze and the screaming of gulls that woke Elissa up. She could tell it was lighter and she moved her head around trying to listen for any sound or movement.
"God morning, Lissy."
She sighed in relief when she heard her brother's voice; the only familiar voice in her life right now.
"Good morning, brother," she said and held out her hand, smiling at the sound of his steps, his hand grasped hers and he pulled her up. She immediately folder her arms around his elbow and together they walked.
"Where are we?" She whispered, "I mean, I know we're close to Amaranthine but…"
"We're on a cliff," Aedan interrupted her; "the sea is forward, a forest is behind us. Duncan is sitting closer to the edge of the cliff, looking at the sea. Amaranthine is just an hour to the east, and behind the trees, although you can't see it from here, there is the main road that will take us there. Later. When we're going. The sun is shining, sister, there are a few clouds but it's mainly a beautiful day."
Elissa smiled. As annoying and disturbing as her brother could be there existed moments when he understood exactly what she needed.
"There is a boat on the sea," Aedan continued, "and there are flowers growing in the grass."
"What kind of flowers?" Elissa asked. She knew the shape of some flowers, the smell of others, but mainly she just liked the names.
"They're Easter lilies," Aedan said, "and they're so beautifully yellow. I think you would like them."
Elissa held his arm tighter, wanting to hug him closer. She wanted to cry, beg him not to go to war. Part of her wasn't thinking clearly from the shock but the very present part of her realized that if he went to war she might never see him again.
"Ah, you are awake," he said, alerting Elissa to the fact that they had arrived at the place he was sitting.
"Thank you for letting me sleep, ser," she said, remembering her manners.
"That's quite alright," the man said and Elissa smiled in the direction of his voice.
"Well," Aedan said, letting go of Elissa's arm, "so, what do we do now?" He's voice was hesitant.
"We should move swiftly," Duncan said, "we need to get to Ostagar as soon as possible, not to mention…" he turned quiet.
"Duncan, what…" Aedan started, his voice shrill and scared but he didn't finish his sentence. Elissa guessed that Duncan had asked him to be silent with a gesture. The girl stayed quiet, she was itching to ask what was going on but knew better. It was silent; all that could be heard was the trees moving and the sea down below.
Then everything happened in the same time. There was the war cry from a voice that Elissa didn't recognize, and then there was clashing of weapons in all directions. There were too many sounds for Elissa to realize which direction was best. She started running to the left, hoping to get away from the fighting. She didn't worry, both Duncan and her brother were both able sword fighters, but she didn't like the chaos.
She heard the sound of a sword cutting through the air close to her head and took a surprised jump forward. Instead of landing on more grass, she kept pulsing through the air with a terrible speed. She had accidently stepped over the cliff and was heading straight for the water.
She let out on terrified scream and then she hit the surface, front first, hurting her wrist and then all air knocked out of her. For a few moments she didn't know what was up and what was down, she tried to inhale and panicked when her lungs filled with water.
Maker! Help me, I'm dying, she thought, waving her arms and legs, trying to move. She kicked violently; she didn't want to die. Her lungs were burning, aching and she screamed but no sound came out.
Suddenly a hand grabbed her wrist and pulled her upwards. She sobbed with relief when she was again above surface. At first she hardly felt herself being pulled over the reeling of a dingy, she could only feel delicious oxygen going in and out of her.
