Hey guys, sorry i took so long...just been super lazy ^^;;


I've been trying to take what Francis keeps telling me into consideration, "Don't let them get to you", but I can't seem to keep up with it. Every little stare someone throws at me, the comments about me being a Nazi, or about my appearance, or even the rude and snide remarks Heinrich gives me for just being alive. They get to me. They really really get to me and even though, I play it off like it's nothing, there's a reason I hide in the bathroom so much.

I accidentally slept in today and had to rush to get to dressed. I didn't get time to put on my make up, so I had to take my make up to school, hoping to put it on during my first block. I had to make up an excuse to tell Heinrich about my late waking so he wouldn't bite my head off like he's been doing a lot lately. I feel so rushed and exhausted nowadays and it's only been two weeks. I'm not used to anything in this fucking country.

"What are you doing?" Francis asked as I pulled out my make up bag. "I woke up late and I didn't have time to put on my make up." I said, putting on my foundation. I hated not looking socially acceptable, and by the American standards of a highschool girl, I didn't. "I've never seen you without make up before." Francis said, having pulled up a chair to watch me. "That's because she needs it." This kid, Felix, plopped down in his seat two rows away from me and applied his own make up. Francis and I rolled our eyes, myself quickly finishing up my make up and putting my shit away. "Shut up, Polski." I spat, "There's a reason we invaded." Felix snapped his head in my direction with a deadly glare. "What? You're really gonna do that? Fucking Nazi. I knew it. You're going to get your ass jumped for that."

There it was again, I was called a Nazi. But I suppose I had that one coming with my last comment and it only supplied everyone's suspicions of me. Francis looked at me with an expression that said, "You're not really a Nazi, are you?" I sighed. Whatever, I'll go along with it. They want me to be a Nazi so bad, why not give it to them? At this point in my life, I really don't give a shit about what people think about me. I already feel like shit, what's more of theirs piled on top of it all? "So what? As I'm aware, I can say whatever I want here. Freedom of Speech, Polaski. If you have a problem with it, you can go fuck yourself. I don't care if it offends you or anyone else. That's what America is. One big offensive shit fuck country, people here get to say whatever the fuck they want whether others like it or not. That's the point. So suck it the fuck up like all the dicks you do and get over it."

Felix's eyes widened while I sat back satisfied. He looked shocked and I reveled in his reaction. "Julia…" Francis began. "So, you're saying you support Hitler?" he asked. "I'm saying what he wants me to say, Franny. I what I want to say. Hitler was a great leader. I don't condone what he did to millions of innocent people, but I think he was a good, smart, leader. That and the Nazi uniforms were undeniably sexy. Especially the black SS uniforms." Both Francis and Felix seemed shocked. They couldn't believe what I'd just said, though it was all honest opinions with my own right to say them. I don't think genocide is a good thing, you can be a good leader for a bad reason and a bad leader for a good reason.

Francis just looked at me before he got up and walked to his seat. He didn't look pleased. Felix just turned around and texted from his phone. I felt I did something wrong.


When I got lunch, I called over to Francis and Antonio, but Francis quickly pulled Antonio in another direction. They didn't talk to me the rest of the day. I think it was because of the Hitler thing this morning. I tried to text Antonio during my last class and he only responded with short answers.

"To: Antonio

Hey Toni, are you guys mad at me?

sent: 1:26 pm"

"To: Julia

Y?

sent: 1:43pm"

"To:Antonio

Cause you and Franny are completely ignoring me...

sent: 1:45pm"

"To: Julia

Oh.

sent: 1:59pm

"To: Antonio

So...was it because of the Hitler thing this morning?

sent: 2:00pm"

"To: Julia

Dunno

sent: 2:07pm"

"To: Antonio

Toni..Please..come on…

sent: 2:08pm"

"To: Julia

I'm not supposed to be talking to you. How could you think all that stuff is okay, Julia?

sent: 2:09pm"

"To: Antoni no

Lo siento….

sent: 2:10pm"

I knew that Toni had a soft spot for anyone who used Spanish against him.

"To: Julia

I'll talk to him...I'm not even mad at you just...really surprised and disappointed. But...I know we all have our own thoughts…

sent: 2:13pm"


I had to walk home again. Antonio and Francis didn't want to look at me let alone walk home with me. And to add to it, it was pouring by the end of the school day. Awesome. And guess who didn't have an umbrella? This kid. Awesomesauce. Fucking ugh.

Anyway, when I got home, I was absolutely drenched. Heinrich was there waiting for me, "If you think you're going to tread through my house drenched, you've got another thing coming. Got to the laundry room, you've got a basket to wash anyways." He said to me sternly, his arms crossed over his chest before he turned around and walked away. I rolled my eyes and walked the few steps to the basement door under the stairs and into the laundry room. Our basement was small and...well what you usually think when you think about a basement. Just the bare cement that was covered in cracks and water stains.

The washer and dryer were at the foot of the stairs, a basket of my dirty clothes by the washer. Looks like Heinrich was in my room. I sighed and dropped my book bag by the stairs, put my phone on the dryer and started to disrobe. My clothes stuck to me and it was hard to get them off. Why Heinrich couldn't pick me up on days like this, I have no idea, it just pissed me off. I wrung out my shirt and dropped it in the washer, turning around as I worked on my pants. Those would be the hardest to get off. However, I just so happened to look up and see my little brother standing at the top of the stairs, hanging inside the doorway, watching me undress. "Ludwig!" I shouted, pulling a nearby towel to cover myself. "What the fuck! Get out of here you little sicko!"

Ludwig's eyes widened when he was caught and he ran off, probably to tell Heinrich. Instead I heard running foot steps up the stairs above me and a door close rather loudly. I shivered as I turned around and quickly went through my basket of dirty clothes. I wanted to get dressed and I didn't care what I ended up wearing. How long was that little bastard standing there? I shook my head, not wanting to think about it. I quickly dressed in a stained t-shirt; I think it had grape jelly on it. If that wasn't what it was, well thank Gott I was doing laundry today because I wouldn't have a clue of the mystery substance. I also put on some OK smelling sweatpants and put everything else in the washer. I didn't care, I wasn't going out or anything, it was only the two shits who would see me and if Heinrich wasn't going to bag on me for one thing it was going to be another. So why not make it easy for him and make it my clothes?

Gott this day was perfect! I fucking hate my life at this moment. Not that I didn't hate it at any other. At least when Mom was still here I liked it. With a heavy sigh, these thoughts weighing me down, I climbed the stairs and closed the door. Heinrich was watching TV on the couch in the living room. I was hungry and the only way into the kitchen was through the foyer, where I stood, and through the living room, where He was. Quietly, I tiptoed my way behind the couch, holding my breath as I did. I don't know why I even bother anymore, this man is a beast. He can smell fear from ten miles away, specifically, mine. But I tried my damnest to get past him without confrontation. "Julia." Fuck. I stopped my ridiculous motions, just having barely gotten past the couch. "Was? (What?)" I snapped.

Heinrich turned his head to look over at me, pulling a disgusted face. "What the hell is all over your shirt?" I pulled the hem of my shirt to look at the stain I'd noticed earlier and shrugged. "Slob.." He muttered and turned back to the TV. "Better than you. You know your sick little son was watching me undress?" He snapped his head in my direction. "Was? You better not be lying to me Julia-Maria." I growled in irritation at this, clenching my fists at my sides as I tried not to deck him right in his mother fucking nose. "My name is Julia. You aren't allowed to call me that, and I'm not lying! Didn't you hear him running up the fucking stairs?" I made a gesture to the stairs as I tried to keep my voice level.

"I will call you whatever the fuck I please. You're not bleeding or dying are you? You fine, get the fuck over it, Julia-Maria." Oh. Oh, that mother fucker did NOT just do that. I stepped closer, my nails digging into the palms of my hands. "I SAID You're NOT allowed to call me that! The ONLY person who is allowed to call me that is my MOTHER." Heinrich leaned up in his seat, his face in mine, "Well your mother's not here, is she? She was MY wife, you little fuck. The only reason I keep you here is because she asked. If it weren't for that, you wouldn't be here!"

"I never wanted to be here with you anyways! I fucking hate you!" I shouted back, desperately trying to keep my tears from falling.

"And just how do you think I feel about you?! Seeing you every fucking day, I didn't want to bring you here! I wish I'd left you back in Germany, I wanted nothing to do with you when my wife died, you're not even my fucking kid!" How dare he talk about my mother as if she had no relation to me. "Thank God I'm not! I'd rather die than have to live my life with you!" By this time, Ludwig had peeked from his room to see the argument in live action. "Then why don't you!?" Heinrich shouted back into my face. I couldn't breathe. His harsh words echoed through my head as a hate-filled mantra. I slapped him. That was mistake number one. Mistake number two was letting him see the tears I so desperately held back flow uncontrollably. He looked at him in shock from the impact of my hand on his face. He jumped up in response, but I was already out the door.


The tears continued to flow as I walked out and down the street. I stopped about three blocks over when I realized that I had nowhere to go. I didn't know this town and my only two friends wanted nothing to do with me. Where was I going to go, what was I going to do? No one would take me in. I made my way to a park where I plopped myself down on a bench. God why…? He wanted me dead, he said it himself. The one that I used to call Vati hates my very being. As I mulled over the argument a good half-hour earlier, I didn't notice someone approach me. "E-excuse me…? U-uhm...Julia…?" I looked up at the sound of my name that came from an unfamiliar voice. "Ja..?" The girl that stood in front of me was a strawberry blonde with red eyes like mine. She wore a little hat on her head and a red dress a brown cardigan, and brown Victorian style highheels with brown tights. A deep blush spread onto her cheeks as she fiddled with her hands and looked all over the ground as if she'd lost something.

"U-uhm...Salut...y-you probably don't know me but...I'm Madalina..Nicolea...I...sit behind you in..physics?" I nodded in remembrance of the girl. She was Romanian and would always get flustered around me. "Ja? Was ist los? (What's up?)" She looked down blushing hard. "U-uhm well...I was..wondering if...You can I could…" Before she could finish, I jumped at the offer, "Ja. I'd love to." I stood up and wrote my number on her hand, kissed her cheek and smiled at her. Okay...maybe things will get better here. Maybe. If only i knew what was to come because of this...I'm almost thankful...