Me: cackles insanely. 'Allo mes ami. How are we today?

Erik: are you going to give me back my lasso?

Me: non Messieur Erik.

Erik: stares are you trying to speak French or mutilate it?

Me: pouts fine you meany. On with the show... erm, story.

AN: I own no Phantom of the Opera (except for a copy of the 2005 movie I think), otherwise, Raoul would not be such a dandy and a fop an', an', an' Christine would have stayed.

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Stranger than Fiction

"I am your friend, oh most honorable ruler," she assured him with a distinctly patronizing way that reminded him of the Persian, "I wish you no harm, though... should my wishes not be, obeyed, a disaster (probably within your imagination) will occur."

Erik stared at her with a sense of apprehension yet again. It might be the fact that someone who has a mood as complex as Erik's, and a sense of humor that was anything but, can be a little unsettling.

"Now, I have a one-room apartment. Do you wish for the couch in the 'living room' or the bed?"

"I will take the couch."

"good. what would you like to eat, and don't go anorexic or bulimic on me or I swear I will stick you in a room with something far worse than Carlotta or the a bunch of sadistic torturers."

"what?"

"Anorexia Nervosa, a nervous disorder in which a person literally starves themselves to death in order to be skinny. Bulimia, also a nervous disorder, but people binge on food before going to the nearest restroom and forcing themselves to... erm... forcibly expel all food that enters their bodies through the mouth in a gagging reflex.."

"I see. How do you know so much about these... disorders?"

"Because I wish to see what kind of things idiotic animals will do to get laid." Suddenly her eyes went wide as she realized she had blurted it out. She froze, stiff as a statue before continuing on as though nothing had happened.

The sudden change in moods startled him, and he realized that this is what Antoinette and the Persian must have felt when he abruptly switched moods. He filed this revelation away for further use and watched the enigmatic child. He could already feel a headache coming on and he had merely been here a few minutes.

As they were eating, the doorbell rang, nearly putting poor Erik in a state of cataleptic shock. They had been eating some slightly overcooked sirloin steak with, of all things, rice. She had been in the middle of apologizing for having no salt or potatoes when an exceedingly high pitched noise rang throughout the small rooms. Erik lurched so badly that he knocked over the drinks on the table and fell out of the low, but comfortable chair.

"Sorry Erik. I forgot to warn you about that. It's simply a device that allows callers to alert me that they are here, nothing more. I will be right back," and with that she stood up and left the table.

That was a surprise. I wonder who she really is. There's something she's not telling me and I intend to find out. As he sat contemplating, a sound broke him from his reverie. At his feet stood a cat. It was black, with a patch of white on its chest and the right side of its face. He got the distinct impression it was assessing him to see if he was worthy; what he was to be worthy for, he did not know.

"I see you've met my good friend, call her Specter." He jumped at the voice, and looked around. As he whirled, she backed away slightly to avoid getting hit. "Sorry Erik, I did not mean to startle you."

"It is quite alright." Stupid poetry, maybe she was right. I need to take a... rest. As the thought, she saw his fascinating eyes waver and dim, bringing up a quote from who knows how long ago to mind. The quote escaped from her lips before she could stop herself.

"Eyes are the windows into a person's soul."

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A cry rang out, breaking Erik out of his musings. He saw the girl on her knees with her hands pressed to her eyes. His hand flew to his face and touched the cool porcelain of his mask. She stood up suddenly. Before he could react, she picked up a plate and threw it with some accuracy, smashing a beautiful mirror in the kitchen.

"EMPTY!" she shrieked in anguish, then fell burrowing her head in her hands, "they're empty."

"what are?" he asked kneeling down next to her. He felt concern worm its way into him and was helpless to fight back.

"My eyes," she moaned, "no more life in them than a corpse, for all my emotions. Eyes are windows to the soul, without life in them, no life in you." she then broke into fresh tears, never looking him in the eye.

"How do you know that?" he asked. "Do you think you have a soul?"

"I have always felt a horrible emptiness in me, I thought it was because of a long ago death, but I was wrong. Did you know that I have never felt betrayed, hate, or even regret? I am not complete. I take a perverse delight in breaking another's spirit, even when I feel despair for what I'm doing it's because I broke morals not because I broke the person."

He stared at her in a horrified fascination. The similarities that he had noticed went out the window at this discovery. she delighted, not in physical, but mental torture. He backed away from her and she lifted her head up to look at him. She gave a weak smile that didn't quite reach the hollowness of despair that he saw in her eyes. They slowly fluttered and she went limp as exhaustion overtook her. He looked at her limp form. she looked like she had fought on the Just side of a war, but had finally, at the very end, just... given up.

He picked her up, entered what he thought was her room, and nearly dropped her in surprise. On the left side of the room stood a black coffin, and, on closer inspection had red satin trim. On the right side was a pile of soft bags arranged in a circular chaos and a dragon-print blanket. He looked at her limp body in confusion. Why is she doing this for me? he asked himself as he laid her on the bags and placed the blanket on her.

As she lay there he watched her, the roughness in her demeanor sloughed away revealing a state of innocence he thought only very young children could possess. her face relaxed and he saw that she was under high levels of stress and that made her emotionally strained, not to mention drop-dead exhausted. The tears she never consciously shed began to flow fast and silently and her companion simply leaned on the coffin and contemplated his interesting new... whatever she was.

The doorbell rang again. Erik stiffened at the unexpected noise, but, since Aretha was currently... indisposed at the moment, he had to answer it. He exited the room, shut the door and opened the front door. At the doorstep was another reason why he should've worn a Punjab lasso on his 'deathbed.' He could swear he was looking at Raoul. He glared, narrowing his eyes and spoke.

"Who are you?" he asked, somewhat coldly.

"I am Robert Orpheus Ulysses LaMer. what's yours?"

"Erik. What are you doing here?"

"Miss Rusel has been invited to a bal masque and she is to bring one guest. I am going as The viscount de Chaney since my initials spell his name. You would make a fine Phantom if we need another one, I'll be sure to tell Andrea the good news if Darrin gets sick again."

"I'll tell her as soon as she wakes up."

"Thanks man. So, what do you think of her? She's such a recluse, the only ones who know anything about her are the Black (A/N: no offence, but I was thinking of my best friend and he's African American so no pitchforks please,) Miss Visita, (A/N: vee-SEE-tah) and Mr. McKenzie."

"Really? She seems... interesting enough."

"I heard that she attacked someone when they insulted the opera ghost for being a... 'homicidal, bloodthirsty madman.' They said that she was yelling 'Fop Lover!' over and over. they had to drag her kicking and screaming off the poor girl."

"So she is..."

"Relatively unstable, mentally, anyway. Just don't insult The phantom and you're safe."

"What about Christine?" R.A.O.U.L. paled.

"Oh GOD NO!" cried R.A.O.U.L., "She'll murder you with a dull spoon. believe me, she's tried before."

"I... see..."

"Yes, she's very dedicated to him, and hates Christine with a passion for abandoning him."

A relative calm fell over them for a while.

"Well, goodbye, I can't wait to see you guys there." said R.A.O.U.L. with a grin before leaving.