I'm sorry for taking so much time to upload but as soon as I was sitting with the laptop with my head filled with ideas, I was gripped with the sudden urge to go and revise. Stupid conscience…. Now, I think that chapter isn't as funny as I wished it would turned out to be…
Dedicated to the Gayness
J I'm not an homophobic in the contrary but I just wanna pinpoint that when you make a shonen-ai story, you are not forced to make every characters Gay…You should remember that the % of Gays around the world is minimal so you should stay realistic.
Enjoy and review for a virtual cookie!
A tired Kazuya left the soccer-club, closing the door behind him and rushing to the changing rooms hopping that he could still have a chance of using the only shower with strong water pressure before anyone else, until he realized he had left his towel in there. Going back on his steps, he opened the door and gasped at the scene rolling in front of him.
Captain was tangled into a tight embrace with his vice, both bare-chested. Ichinose's eyes nearly fell from their orbits as their lips meet and he was subtle enough to gently close the door behind.
Okay, nothing too dramatic. He just saw Endou Mamoru having soft-core acts with Kazemaru Ichirouta. They were gays. It was okay.
DAMN NO! There was a problem with it! He was sure and now he would never ever be able to remove this image from his head and right now he just wanted to crawl into his emo-corner and die there in peace. From afar, he perceived a familiar grey-haired class-mate of his and it felt natural for him to go and greet him.
"Hey Fubuki!" Kazuya ran to his friend when suddenly, he was stopped. Gouenji, appearing from nowhere blocked him the way, his arm extended in front of the brunette who, by the sight of his fellow team-mate's cold and dark eyes, gulped.
"What do you think you are doing?" the striker snarled.
"I was just going to say hi to Fubuki" he smiled genuinely while running his hands through his chestnut hair.
"Dream on that" Shuuya replied in-between his teeth, his eyes never leaving Kazuya's.
"Why so?"
"I see you didn't get the rules I faxed everyone in this school so I am going to mention them all. Rule no.1; keep a five perimeter distance from Shirou."
"You and Fubuki are in first name basis?" Kazuya interrupted before gesturing him to go on as he was glared at.
"Rule no 2, If Shirou picks up a conversation with you, just nod and walk away. Rule no 3; never gaze at his perfect, smoky sad eyes without a written permission from moi. Rule no 4, you are not allowed to..."
"Okay this is getting ridiculous" Ichinose sighed before making his way to Shirou. If Gouenji was powerful and imposing, Kazuya was much more of a faster person.
"Ichinose-san!" Fubuki waved as he saw the mid-fielder approaching.
"Hey" he replied in the same even tone trying to ignore Shuuya's glare burning his neck.
"Oh! You are the very first person that did not ignore me. I wonder why" the defender stated, thoughtfully.
"Listen Fubuki, strange things are happening right now. First I see Kazemaru and Endou snogging then, there's Gouenji who's making a big fuss..." he ceased talking as Shuuya appeared from nowhere, besides Fubuki. His black eyes staring at Ichinose's hand lying recklessly on Shirou's shoulder. He pulled a sobbing Shirou in an awkward hug.
"Hush, its okay honey bear. Nothing happened to you!" he reassured while rocking the crying 14 year old in his strong arms.
"I-I-I was so scaaaared!" Fubuki said in-between two fists of sobs, slowly drenching Shuuya's uniform.
"But I just touched his shoulder!" Ichinose yelled to no one particularly, not comprehending what was happening. He was merely ignored as Gouenji and Fubuki continued their melo-dramatic scene of comfort inspired by one of those lame Nicholas Spark's novel.
"Shirou, I couldn't live if something ever hurt you. You don't know how it's tortured me. The thought of you, still, white, cold… to never see you blush scarlet again, to never see that flash of intuition in your eyes when you see through my pretences… it would be unendurable. You are the most important thing to me now. The most important thing to me ever." Shuuya exclaimed passionately. It was the first time in his life that he uttered more than just plain three words and that was disturbing.
"Shu-Shuuya!" Fubuki smiled a watery smile.
"Wait isn't it a quote from that vampire-high school-young adult-romance-novel thing?" Ichinose asked but was once again ignored.
"And you!" Gouenji snapped, turning to face the brunette who took a little step back. "If I see you trying to breathe the same air than my Honey Bear, I'm going to kill you. Capish?"
"Wow…Honey bea- I mean Fubuki with Gouenji…And Kazemaru hooking up with Endou"
"And how is that so surprising?" Endou appeared while holding the hand of a blushing teal-net.
"Ah, no offense but with so many girls fawning over you" Kazuya started, a small pain in his chest thinking of Aki, "I was surprised when I discovered…That you..Were.."
"But I am not in love with those girls like I'm in love with my Ichirouta" Endou said while looking lovingly at the wind-element player.
"WHAT THE HELL" A voice boomed in.
Suddenly appearing from being the bushes, a familiar redhead jumped in front of the small group of friends, with a face twisted in agony.
"Hiroto? What are you doing?" They exclaimed in unison.
"It's Tuesday" he replied smugly as if he expected everyone to know what he would be talking about.
"What's your point?" Kazemaru asked coldly, clinging on Endou's arm.
"On Tuesday, Endou-kun removes his jersey and enters the shower room at exactly 1:47. So I usually have 30 seconds to catch a glimpse of his- "
"Ew, spare me the details" Ichinose begged.
"Anyways. Here I was for my daily routine until I heard you say, Endou-kun, that you could possibly be in love with that sissy-bitch out there" he yelled while pointing his index finger towards Kazemaru who seemed outrage.
"It's true" Endou replied in an uncharacteristically calm manner.
"How could you?" he whispered, his face a few inches from the Captain's.
"I'm sorry Hiroto…But my heart belongs to someone else"
"I see. So I am going to do what every respectful gay man does on those occasions"
"And what might it be?" Shuuya asked with a hint of exasperation in his voice.
"I'm going to express my feelings through…A song."
He's joking right? Thought Ichinose.
"HIT IT" he yelled and suddenly, the tune from Cee-lo Green's Forget You emerged. Hiroto opened his mouth and, with a hand on his hips started swaying to the tune.
I see you in a fan fiction kissing
the boy I love and I'm like
Forget You
Oooo
I guess for you, I wasn't pretty enough, no no
and I'm like Forget you, forget him too
If I was faster I'd still be with ya
Well ain't that some shit?
"Ain't that some shit?" The girls echoed.
And though there's pain in my chest,
I still wish you the best with a
Forget youuuuuuuuu
I'm sorry
I ain't as fast as Swifty
but that doesn't mean I can't get you there
I guess you're into Ukes
And I'm more of a seme
But the game you play, it ain't fair.
I pity the fooooool!
Who falls in love with you, uhuh
"Oh he's a heartbreaker
don't think you should nigga!"
That was utterly insane but the rest of the school thought that it was absolutely normal that a boy burst out singing for another guy. He turned around and caught a glimpse of all of his team-mates. Kabeyama holding Kurimatsu's hand, Max snuggling Handa?
"It's okay Ichinose-san. We all accept you as you are…Even if you are straight" Max chimed in saying the word "straight" as if it was a disease.
"But what about the girls?"
"The what?"
"You know! Girls! The species with boobs and glossy lips" Ichinose explained. But that species didn't seem to mind that the school had now become rated R for mature gay content. They were all screaming and giggling at Hiroto's performance as if it was Enrique Iglesias shirtless.
Right now, the only thing that Ichinose wanted to do was to go and sleep. He also wished that, when he would wake up, he wouldn't get that stupid song stuck in his head..
I wouldn't be surprised if you find this chapter utterly absurd and NOT funny because I have a pitiful sense of humor. I just wanted to prove that it was possible to make graphical jokes without the use of chat like stories J Maybe it IS an epic fail xD Wait? Am I hearing a counter-tenor voice in he garden?
Next chapter: haven't' decided yet xD
