Hidan: Hello mother fu-fudge...er's... I have been reading the reviews and all of you are saddened that Abby no longer likes me but that is a complete and total lie. Our relationship is just hitting a-
Abby: Hidan.... what are you doing...
Hidan: Telling the readers that you still like me!
Abby: I don't.... I don't like you anymore
Hidan: What the hell!
Abby: In fact I'm officially breaking up with you in this chapter...
Hidan: WHAT!
Chapter 2: The break up of the century.
"Yeaaaah" Abby sighed as she walked into her normal empty house, her parents weren't home yet and she still hasn't figured out how to tell her parents that she was leaving. Her mom was way too over protective. "What am I going to do..."
"Just leave things to be baby." Hidan's smooth voice came from her living room.
"Hidan!" Abby fell from shock when she saw Hidan siting on her couch petting her dog. "W-what are you doing here?"
"Leader sent me and Kakuzu to help with the parent issue." Hidan explained, scratching Abby's dog behind the ears.
"Wintergreen!" Abby cried as her dog betrayed her. "And dang! I need to stop Kakuzu from stealing my money!" Abby ran out of the room, with the intent to save her money.
Meanwhile with Shenori...
Shenori had not stepped off the bus and reached the front door of her house when Itachi and Kisame walked right out, grabbed her by the arms and lead her away.
"Wait, what about my family?" Shenori asked, more to Kisame as she was trying to avoid Itachi.
"Genjutsu, they forgot all about you." Itachi explained calmly. Itachi and Kisame lead her to a red sports car and shoved her into the back seat.
"You can drive?" Shenori gaped as Itachi sat in the drivers seat, turned the on car and drove off like nothing to it.
"Yeah." Kisame grinned as he twisted around in the front seat to look at her. "Since we can't use our chakra here like normal and Leader wanted us to fit in. So Itachi, Kakuzu and Sasori learned how to drive."
"Ah..."
"We're taking you to the place Leader bought." Kisame said. "We were lucky to find it, three story house with 14 rooms and most important of all 4 bathrooms.
"Okay... what about my stuff?" Shenori remembered her manga hidden under her bed.
"Konan went and got all of your things, same with Tally."
Speaking of Tally, Abby was going through hell at her house, her parents had just got home to find the house trashed and two males pinning down a very angry Abby who tried to kill them. Eventually Kakuzu put them under genjutsu and hulled Abby to their car. Unfortunately for Abby she got stuck in the back seat with Hidan.
"Hidan please back off!" Abby cried as she pushed Hidan off of her in his attempt to capture her in his arms.
"What's wrong baby?" Hidan stared at her as she scooted as far away as humanly possible in the small car. "You've been acting weird, you fucking sick?"
"Nooooo....." Abby laughed nervously as she stared out the window. "It's just.... I'm.... I..."
"Just say it!" Hidan growled, irritated.
"I... I! I'm bre-"
"Just fucking say it!"
"I'M BREAKING UP WITH YOU!" Abby yelled at Hidan. The moment the words left her mouth, she instantly regretted it. She forced herself to look out the window, motionless. There was a raor of laughter in the front seat as Kakuzu nearly crashed into a red Honda. Hidan was struck speechless and said nothing the whole ride to the house.
(A very long and awkward car ride later....)
"We're here." Kakuzu cut of the ignition and stepped out, opening Abby's door. He lead her to the house, leaving Hidan behind in the car. The poor guy was still in shock.
"Kakuzu reporting in" Kakuzu yelled as he slammed the door behind him, shepherding Abby to the living room. "I have Abby."
"Where's Hidan?" Leader asked from his arm chair by a empty fireplace. The room was centered around the chair, there was a large U-shaped coach to the left of it and a small coffee table in front of it.
"In the car." Kakuzu shoved Abby down next to Shenori who had arrived only moments before.
"Why is he in the car?" Leader raised an eye brow when he heard Kakuzu snickering.
"He's heart broken."
"...."
"I'm not answering any questions on the matter." Abby said to Deidara who was about to ask her a question. "Besides.... you'll know eventually..."
"Well, now that you girls are here I suppose I can tell everyone room arrangements." Standing up from his chair leader walled over to the right to a large wall with a huge white, empty spot in the middle of it. He tapped the wall once and a portion of the wall slid back and phased to the right reveling a giant TV screen.
"Olly crap..." Abby and Shenori swore as the screen flickered to life. It showed a blown up image of the houses floor plan.
"Okay now," Leader said as he pulled out a laser pointer. "In the main floor, AKA the floor we are on now contains the the living room and the dinning hall and the kitchen. Most meals will be in the kitchen, each team will rotate between cooking and cleaning duties.
"The second and third floors will be where every bodies rooms are. The second floor rooms are as follows, Itachi, Kisame, Deidara, Abby, Sasori and Tobi. Third floor rooms are Hidan, Kakuzu, my own and Konan's and then Shenori and finally Zetsu. Yes Abby?"
"What about ninja training?"
"Ninja training will be suspended until further notice." Pein said quietly. "Every now and then we might go to some secluded place to exercise but other wise no."
Later that day...
"He's still out there?" Kakuzu asked Deidara and Kisame who were looking out the window.
"Yeah, un. I can't believe Abby broke up with Hidan!" The blonde artist exclaimed.
"I can't believe they were going out." Kisame snickered as a faint stream of curses reached their ears. Hidan was throwing a huge fit outside, cutting up all the trees into little pieces with his scythe.
"Hehehe... yeah, un." Deidara laughed nervously. He knew about Hidan and Abby's relationship considering he and Shenori long ago walked in on them.
"Hey guys." Abby said as she walked into the living room and taped the wall, the large TV screen popped out as she lazily channel surfed. "Kakuzu you may wanna stop Hidan cuz he's about to cut the car in half."
"Over my dead body" Kakuzu grumbled as he walked out, ready to beat Hidan into a bloody pulp.
"So watcha guys up to?" Abby innocently asked, leaning over the arm of the couch, staring at the two Akatsuki.
Kisame snickered as more of Hidan's cursing reached their ears. "Watching Hidan get beat up by Kakuzu."
"uh-huh." Abby sighed. "Guess this is all my fault."
"Don't sweat it kid." Kisame ruffled Abby's hair playfully.
"Nyaaaah! Don't do that." Abby shoved his hand away but Kisame persisted, he laughed sadistically as he loomed over Abby, giving her a massive noogie.
"I can do what ever I want." Kisame teased as he pinned her down on the couch, Abby trying to squeeze her way out.
"You're such a child molester!" Abby burst out into laughter as Kisame tickled her. "No! HAHAHA STOP! HAHAHA"
Deidara watched then scene some what enviously but the whole situation would quickly change as a bloody Hidan and Kakuzu walked in.
"WHAT THE HELL!" Hidan growled as he saw the two on the couch.
"Heiya Hidan!" Kisame waved from over top Abby.
"Get of me Kisame! Hidan's going to kill you if you don't! I know! I can see the future remember!"
The killer intent radiating off Hidan was enough to prompt Kisame off of Abby. Hidan moved to sit net to Abby but the girl jumped off and ran away.
"Shit." Hidan cursed, flopping down onto the couch.
"Tough luck, buddy, yeah." Deidara said teasingly. "But when a girl says she doesn't like you, she doesn't like you, un."
"I don't need love advise from the residential transvestite." Hidan growled, Deidara snarled and talked Hidan, punching him bloody... er, bloodier.
"Well this is a fine first day." Pein said from the doorway, Kisame and Kakuzu giving him quick greetings. "Just make sure they don't destroy anything."
"Yes Leader-sama." They said, thinking how they were going to separate Deidara and Hidan but thankfully they didn't need to.
There was a high pitched scream that made everyone jump, even Hidan and Deidara. The scream came from upstairs and the four Akatsuki ran up stairs to its source. Kakuzu could have swore he heard Abby laughing in the kitchen.
They ran to the third floor where they saw Itachi and Zetsu standing outside of Shenori's room.
"Whats going on?" Kisame asked.
"Well... you see... It hilarious." Zetsu stared to explain when a glare from Itachi cut them off.
"Shenori is having.... problems..."
"Aaaahg!" Hidan whined. "Don't tell me its stupid time of the month stuff." There was a angry roar as Shenori's door opened just enough to throw a kunai at Hidan's head and slam the door shut again.
"Did I just see what I thought I saw." Kisame asked stunned, all of them had seen a glimpse of Shenori. And what they saw stunned them.
"Shenori open up." Itachi ordered.
"No!" Shenori called back.
"Open up, now" There was a tone of finality to the Uchiha's voice.
"Make me!"
"You asked for it." With one swift kick, Itachi knocked down Shenori's door and dragged the poor girl out of her room.
"Oh wow." Kisame smirked, trying not to snicker.
Shenori was covered from head to toe with dark brown fur, her hair was feral looking and her eyes were large and feline like.
"I hate my life." Shenori cursed.
"Its a side affect of this worlds chakra." Abby said, suddenly popping up from nowhere. "I don't think the change is permanent but its still on going. She'll get ears and a tail in about a day."
"What the heck!" Shenori charged at Abby, garbing her by the collar. "This is reversible right!?"
"Um well...." Abby stammered. "I'm... not... sure... it's kinda blurry."
"What do you mean its blurry!"
"I can't see it well, thats what blurry means."
"I know what blurry means but why now! Why blurry now!"
"Beats me, thats blurry too."
"You're no help!" Shenori yelled in frustration and ran back into her room which was rather pointless since there was no door for privacy.
"I can tell you whats going to happen next in your transformation!" Abby said helpfully from the door frame.
"That doesn't help at all... whats going to happen next?"
"Hair balls."
Shenori's groan of annoyance filled the entire house as the Akatsuki lost interest in the matter and left.
(later that night)
Shenori was laying on her bed, staring at her ceiling when someone knocked on her door frame. She knew who it was, she smelled him long before he began to climb the staircase.
"What do you want Itachi..." She closed her eyes, pretending not to care as the older male Uchiha stalked into her room.
"You don't have a door." He says simply.
"Yeah I know, a certain red-eyed male kicked it in." Shenori gruffed.
"You gave me no choice." Itachi sat down on the edge of her bed.
"Again I'll ask, what do you want."
Itachi said nothing as he moved closer to Shenori, he quickly pinned her down and whispered into her ear.
"This house is full of wolves and with no door to protect you how are you going to stay safe?"
"I can defend myself perfectly fine." Shenori resisted.
"I disagree" Itachi swooped her up into his arms and without anyone noticing he carried her off to his room.
(Meanwhile Abby was having some not so romantic troubles herself...)
"HIDAN FOR THE LAST TIME GET OUT OF MY ROOM!" Abby forcefully grabbed Hidan by the collar of his shirt and threw(okay shoved) Hidan out of her room. Deidara and Kisame snickered like little kids as Hidan tapped on Abby's door, whimpering like a lost puppy.
"Come on baby, don't be this way, just let me-"
"NO!"
"But-!"
"I said no and thats that!"
"Give it up Hidan-san" Kisame patted Hidan on the back. "What you need right now is your good friend alcohol."
"I don't want no fucking beer!" Hidan shoves Kisame's hand away, choosing to sit outside Abby's room door.
"No Hidan listen! You need to get drunk and find yourself girl for a one night stand or somthin', it'll be good for ya."
"I don't need sex!"
"I think you do." Kisame grinned pervertedly as he hulled Hidan forcedly down the hall. "Now we are going to the nearest bar and getting you drunk!"
Deidara shook his head as Kisame shouted at Kakuzu downstairs to be their designated driver and turned to face Abby's door. He knocked lightly on the wood and braced himself.
"LEAVE ME ALONE HIDAN!" Abby yelled as she opened the door, armed with a spoon. "I will fu-fu-fuge! Deidara!" Abby fumbled with her spoon and tossed it back into her room.
"Hey, un" Deidara said cooly, "Wanna hang out with me?" He asked but not a word reached Abby.
"Where did Hidan go?" She asked, her mind obviously on something else.
"He went drinking with Kisame, why un?"
"Ah Finally, I'm starving but I didn't want to leave my room cuz Hidan would have bothered me immensely, well not that he already hasn't but still. I like to eat in peace."
"Well I'll go with you, yeah." Deidara grinned as his little plan in his head was set in motion, plan 'Get Abby' was about to begin.
"Okay." Abby said nonchalantly as they walked downstairs to the kitchen.
Abby beelined to the fridge, stepping around Sasori as she went and pulled all sorts of treats from the cool fridge.
"Abby, Deidara, do you two know where Kisame and Hidan went? They just dragged Kakuzu outside shouting something about him being their designated driver."
"They went drinking, un" Deidara answered his partner. With his cunning and ninja skills he swiped a cookie from Abby, munching it down with his hand mouth.
Abby shrugged at the loss and started on her food, oblivious to all things going on around her, she was in her own little food world.
Deidara strategically sat himself on the counter top next to Abby, he was ready to initiate step one in Operation ' Get Abby'. He's liked Abby for a long time but couldn't make a move because of Hidan. Now that they've broken up its his turn.
Deidara fake yawned, stretching his arms way out and pulling them down, catching Abby in the process. The plan was to pull her closer to him but before he could grab her she dropped a cookie on the ground and bent down to pick it up, thus leaving him to cuddle with cold air.
'Damn it,' He cursed, watching Abby out of the corner of his eyes. 'Plan B.' He waited patiently as Abby tossed out the dropped cookie and placed another in her mouth, faster than the normal person he swooped in and took a bit of the cookie still in her mouth.
The plan almost worked this time, his teeth skimming the edge of the cookie, again Abby had escaped his plans by turning her head to say something to Sasori.
'What the heck!?' Deidara screamed mentally, 'It's like she can predict my next move! …... duh! She's a mind reader, and can see the future.' Deidara could have smacked himself but he didn't. It was time for the unplanned plan.
Acting on the spurr of the moment he jumped behind Abby and tried to grab her around the waist when Sasori suddenly appeared next to him and grabbed his wrist.
"Deidara, leader needs to see us." He says bordly, turning to nod at Abby as he dragged the saddened Deidara out of the kitchen.
"Thanks Sasori!" Abby calls after them.
(Meanwhile with Shenori and Itachi)
Itachi.... wait what O.O... OMG NUUUU LOOK AWAY! MY VIRGIN EYES!!!!!! No readers! Run away! Run while you still can! You don't want to read what they're doing!!!! Okay some of you do but thats besides the point. Its not like they're having sex or anything but its still disturbing.... VERY disturbing....
(Back to Abby)
Okay.... Abby is just eating.... boooooring....
(Back to Shenori... okay no, not going back there... um them... oh! I got it!)
(Meanwhile, Hidan, Kisame were drinking in a near by bar, Kakuzu just watched them)
"Ish waaanted shex. Isssh all I ever waaanted." Hidan slurred drunkenly to an equally drunk Kisame. "But ssshhe never gaaaave me none."
"Well at leassht you loooksh good." Kisame hiccuped. "I can't get a girrrl to sshleeep with mee even if they ish drunk tooo."
"You know whaat Ima do when we getsh baack." Hidan shouted, slamming his hands on the table. "Ima go and demand whats rightfully miinee! That little horessh fucking virginity! Yeash!" In one gulp Hidan drained an entire bottle, marking his twelfth one that night.
"Hidan you should stop drinking, you're talking nonsense." Kakuzu said to his partner, secretly telling the bar tender not to give his friends any more drinks. He also mentally swore to keep Hidan away from Abby.
Kisame in his drunken stupor thought that it was a good idea to stand up on the table, take his shirt off and sing off key.
"I'm tooo sshexy for my sshirt, tooo sshexy for my sshirt..."
He shortly passed out after that.
Kakuzu sighed, was was never going to be Kisame's and Hidan's designated driver again, they could make Itachi do it for all he cared. None to gently, Kakuzu lifted Kisame and walked out of the bar. Hidan following him out,
"Fuuucking whore." Hidan cursed as Kakuzu threw him and Kisame into the back seat.
"And you guys have to teach tomarrow." Kakuzu growled, thinking of the hangovers they were going to get. They drived back, Kisame snoring loudly and sleep,singing. They pulled into the driveway and Hidan stormed out of the car, reeling drunkenly around. He manged to make it too the door way where he fumbled with the knob.
"Hidan back off." Kakura gruffed, dropping Kisame down on the porch.
"No!" Hidan yelled, cursed madly. "No,no,no,noooooooo." The beer became too much for Hidan and he passed out, landing in a, rather awkward position next to Kisame.
"Now I wish I had a camera." Kakuzu snickered to himself, thinking of telling the others about this. "They would never live it down."
"Hey Kakuzu" Abby came out the front door, camera in hand. "Looking for this." She offered.
"Thank heavens for future sight." Kakuzu took the camera and snapped photo after photo.
"I get a picture so I can blackmail Hidan."
"Deal." Kakuzu agreed and they shook on it. "Oh and be careful about Hidan. I'm sure it was just the beer but don't get alone with him..."
"Gotcha," Abby nodded, "Thanks Kakuzu."
She went back inside and Kakuzu took one last photo before joining her inside.
Sadly for everyone Hidan and Kisames hangovers were not going to be the worst thing they will have to deal with tomorrow...
Abby: Yesh! I broke up with Hidan!
Deidara: Yesh your single now!
Abby: (stares) um...
Deidara: Oh crap O_O I did not mean to say that out loud...... (runs away)
Hidan: GET BACK HERE BITCH!!! (chases)
Abby: Oh great, love affairs.... just great.... well review people! And cus I'm nice(really I just have no idea) I'll let you guys say who I end up with. Go to my profile and take the poll at the top to vote! Voting ends in three weeks so get your vote in soon!!!! Bais!
