I stand outside my car, 2 blocks from the church where a guy is marrying my former partner, my best friend, I'm still trying to form a thought about what is happening today, about you, about me, about … us.

"Elliot …" a soft voice pulls me from my thoughts. I turn around to see the one and only, Alexandra Cabot, wearing an indulgent yellow, floor length bridesmaid dress, its strapless, silver pendant around her neck, diamond studs that her long blonde curls are covering.

"Alex, you, uh, you look good" She just stares at me. I stare back wondering what the brides dress looks like. How you fixed her hair today. What jewelry she is wearing.

"Alex, this means a lot" I say as I slip the envelope into her hands.

"You know she's going to kill me for this right?" Alex just glared back.

"Yes. I do and I'm sorry to put you in the middle of it but I couldn't face her, not today. Just give her the letter for me"

"I will, but Stabler?" she questions

"yeah?"

"promise me one thing, promise me that in time, but soon, you will see her. You will talk to her … because Elliot if there is one thing I know about Olivia it's that she needs you in her life because she hasn't been the same since you left"

"Soon Alex, soon… " The tall blonde smiles at me and turns and walks about

"oh and Alex…" she turned to look at me "it was good seeing you"

She walked away and laughed just before yelling "you too Stabler"

~SVU~

"Alex! Where the hell were you"

"Liv, I had to run an errand"

"Next time let me know so I don't freak out that my maid of honor is MIA!"

"Liv…."

"what? What's wrong?"

"Please don't be mad Liv.." Alex's eyes are pleading with fear.

"Alex Cabot what did you do?" Olivia said in harsh tones but quietly so nobody else in the room could hear her.

"He asked me to give this to you"

Alex pulled a white envelope with Olivia, scribbled on it from the inside of her coat. Olivia slowly take the envelope from your hands and hold it close to my chest.

"When did you see him?" Olivia asked looking at the floor.

"Just now, he called and asked me to meet him and begged me not to tell you. He said he wanted me to give you something. Liv please don't be mad."

Just before Olivia could say anything else, her future mother-in-law, Mrs. Cassidy walked over interrupting the conversation.

"Everything okay?" She asked.

"Yeah I just, uhm, I need a minute alone" Olivia didn't know what to do or say. She didn't know if she should read the letter seconds before walking down the aisle but she had too. She couldn't say her vows without reading it.

"Okay well we will all wait outside" Alex said, hoping Olivia won't want to kill her later.

Alex, Brian's mother, Casey Novak, Melinda Warner, & Amanda Rollins leave the room giving Olivia the time she had asked for.

She opened the letter and immediately tears began to fall.

Olivia,
I'll start with, I'm sorry. I know that probably means nothing at this point but I feel as though I still owe you an explanation even if you don't care. The day I shot Jenna I walked out of the precinct wondering what the hell I just did. I didn't know why I shot her until I realized I shot Jenna because I couldn't risk her aiming that gun and loosing you. I wouldn't be able to go on in life. Olivia Benson I couldn't let you die knowing I could have stopped it so I killed a teenage girl. I realized then we were to close; we couldn't have been partners even if I did come back because I will ALWAYS choose you before the job. Always. God, Liv, I was so in love with you I couldn't think straight so I put in my papers. I planned on waiting a few days before I talked to you because I felt like a coward, but days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, and months turned into years. But you have to know not a day went by that I didn't think of you. I still have every letter you have ever sent me. Your letters are what kept me going. Brian Cassidy is a lucky man, I hope he knows it. Good luck today Liv, I hope you are happy and I hope he treats you like a queen because you deserved it. I love you Liv.

-Elliot

"Olivia, you ready?"

Captain Cragen opened the door, he was walking her down the aisle today.

"Yeah Cap, I'm ready"

Olivia wiped her tears and walked towards the door. Putting the letter in her purse she tugged on her necklace while walking out the door, the necklace he gave her. It was her connection to him her security blanket and right now, after reading that letter she needed some security and comfort in her thoughts because for once Olivia Benson –soon to be Cassidy- didn't know what to do or say.