B is for Barriss
No one had ever said the road to recovery was easy. If anyone ever tried to tell Cody that, he might just punch them. He'd been back on the cruiser for three days and had been allowed to wake up for the first time in the past ten minutes. He silently listened to Meds as the medic softly told him of his injures, one hand resting on Cody's arm, letting him know that he wasn't along. Obi-wan stood by the door, head bowed, arms crossed, face hidden in shadows. Meds had said Obi-wan had saved him, which meant Obi-wan had seen him….had seen his fear. Cody closed his eyes and turned his head away, taking a calming breath. The spiders, they were everywhere, filling his sleep, crawling over him even now. He shuddered and Meds' thumb started to massage Cody's arm gently, his voice fading away.
"Cody?" he felt a hand lightly land on his shoulder and he slowly turned his head, opening his eyes to see Obi-wan's concerned face at his level. The older man was crouching by his bed, watching Cody worriedly. Meds stayed on his stool, silently watching the two. Obi-wan searched Cody's eyes before nodding, "It will go away, I promise."
Cody nodded weakly, not daring to speak. He didn't think he could even if he tried, but he didn't want to find out. Obi-wan gave him a sad smile, rubbing his shoulder gently, "I've called a friend of ours, Barriss, to come help. You remember her, right?"
Cody nodded again, remembering the silent green girl who had always been with Master Luminara. A bright young Jedi healer, just as much a follower of rules as Obi-wan.
"It will be hard, but you have to stay with us, ok?" Obi-wan frowned, concern creasing his face. "Cody, can you try to say something? Anything?"
Cody averted his eyes, unsure of what to do. He didn't trust his throat, didn't trust himself right now. Meds answered instead, "Its alright, sir. He just needs time. His vocal cords need to heal anyway. They've been badly strained with all the screaming he's been doing."
Cody focused on Meds, his eyes wide. Meds nodded sadly," Its one of the reasons I want Barriss here. Obi-wan can help you rest, but he can only do so much for so long. Barriss is good at the mental healing as well as the physical. I need you to trust me, Cody. I am only doing this to help you. The nightmares will end, I promise. We don't need to know what happened unless you want to tell us, ok?"
Cody nodded, letting his eyes slip close. Even knocked out by drugs his body let them know what was happening within, even if he didn't know it.
"Get some rest, boss," Meds said softly, squeezing Cody's arm one last time before standing. "The drugs should help a little till Barriss gets here. And I'm sure one of us will always be here. Nothing is going to hurt you."
Cody opened one eye to watch Meds leave. Obi-wan stood, his hand leaving Cody's shoulder as he pushed the stool back into the corner before pulling a chair up to Cody's bed and taking Cody's good hand, silently looking his commander over. His right wrist was splinted and tied to his chest. Bandages covered most of his body. His left leg was elevated, easing the pressure on a broken ankle. A bruise circled around Cody's right eye. His hair had been cut even shorter to Meds could stitch up his wounds. He was a little thinner, a little paler and a whole lot quieter and it scared Obi-wan to his core. Hopefully Barriss could help, "Cody, I am going to be here for you. I will stay until Barriss comes. Is that ok?"
Cody nodded, tightening his grip on Obi-wan's hand as his eyes slip close, letting the drugs take effect.
Cody woke up screaming, trying to break free of the giant black spider's hold. He could feel the pincers digging into his leg, tearing into his muscle. He just wanted to be free! His eyes flew open, expecting to see the glittering gold eyes laughing mockingly at him but instead saw white. A clean white wall with a white cupboard and counter. Chest heaving, Cody finally heard the commanding, feminine voice speaking to him, telling him to calm down. He realized the grip on his shoulders was not claws but hands, trying to push him back onto the bed. All energy left him and he let the hands push his trembling form back onto the bed, the soft words reaching his ears but meaning nothing. There was a dull ache in his leg, reminding him of his nightmare. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to forget, to relax, to do anything but remember. The hands left his shoulders and on came to cup his face, turning it to the left a little.
"Cody?" a soft voice asked, a soft thumb rubbing his jawline gently. "Cody, open your eyes for me, please."
He slowly did as he was told, opening his eyes to meet soft blue eyes looking at him expectantly. Green skin was wrinkled in concern as the figure bent closer to him, the other hand coming to rest on his right side, right where his shoulder and neck met, "Cody, it is alright. They are not here. Do you understand?"
Cody nodded, his body still trembling under her touch. Barriss Offee, now a Jedi Knight, gently massaged his neck, watching him sadly. She had met Commander Cody a few times and each time she had been impressed by how powerful, how calm he felt in the Force. Now…now he felt broken, helpless. She understood why Obi-wan had called her and practically begged for her to come.
"He hasn't said anything since I found him," Obi-wan's soft voice came from by the door where he stood, out of her way. Cody focused on him, his breathing slowly getting back to a normal rate. Obi-wan stood by the door; his arms crossed once more, his eyes on Cody, looking sad. He hated seeing Cody in so much pain, just hated it and there was nothing he could do about it. Cody looked away, feeling ashamed. He was hurting everyone around him.
"Its probably physiological as well as physical. Has he been screaming like this a lot?" Barriss focused on Obi-wan, nodding gently to him to let him know he could come closer. He did, moving back into his chair by Cody's bed.
"Yes, he has. Between Meds and me we've gotten him settled back down. This is the first time he's woken up," Obi-wan watched Cody as the clone let his eyes slip close.
"Meds said he's kept Cody out for the count till today," Barriss nodded, straightening up, let her hands fall to her sides as she surveyed the man in front of her. "I can get most of the physical damage healed in about a week to two weeks, depending on how things go. The mental damage may take a little longer, but I think in the end Cody will be pretty much back to normal."
"Why won't he talk?" Obi-wan asked softly.
"He shouldn't be talking right now, not with the damage I'm sensing to his vocal cords. Why he hasn't tried is probably do to physiological reasons. He's ashamed, he's scared, he doesn't trust himself," Barriss moved so she was sitting on the edge of the bed, still watching Cody, thinking. "He's been through a lot, Obi-wan, but I can help him. I know how much he means to you and the men."
"Thank you, Barriss," Obi-wan smiled slightly, bringing his eyes up to hers.
Barriss nodded, looking down at Cody, "First things first, he needs to get as much rest as he can for the next few days while I heal the more serious injures and the only way that will happen is if his mind is clear. I will be putting him into Force coma for now so that he does rest and recover. I will wake him in a few days to check to see how he is doing and check reflexes. If he is doing well, I will let him sleep on his own so we can work on healing the mental damage. If it is still too much, I will continue to help him sleep."
"Again, Barriss, I thank you," Obi-wan nodded as Barriss' hands started to glow blue as she rested one on Cody's forehead and one on his chest.
"It is the least I can do."
When Cody came around once again, he felt like he'd been sleeping for years. His muscles were stiff, his body felt well rested. He still hurt, but not as much as the last few times he had woken up. It was then that realized that something was missing. There were no images of the giant spider or the feeling of the little ones crawling all over him. Yes, he still felt the terror in him, but it wasn't as paralyzing as before. It lightened his soul a little, made him relax a little. He lay there in the bed, his eyes closed, and relaxed for the first time in what seemed like forever.
"Feeling better?" Barriss' soft voice came from nearby and he turned his head, opening his eyes to see Barriss in the chair he remembered Obi-wan occupying last. Speaking of his general, Cody searched the room trying to find him, but the Jedi was missing.
"I made him go get some sleep, food and get cleaned up earlier," Barriss answered the unspoken question. She leaned forward, placing her hand not to Cody's but not touching it. "How are you feeling, Cody?"
Cody hesitated, unsure of what to do. He wanted to try and talk, but he still didn't touch himself. Barriss moved her hand so her pointer finger was touching his, "Your vocals are pretty much healed, Cody. The only thing stopping you is you."
Cody looked away, bringing his finger away from hers, shaking a little. Barriss sighed and sat back, "Cody, I know you know you're worrying everyone. I'm doing everything I can to help, but I can only do so much if you don't respond. All I want you to say is yes or no. Ok?"
Cody nodded weakly, taking a deep breath, "I….I feel….d-decent….."
Barriss smiled, taking Cody's hand and squeezing, "That's better than nothing. Don't say anything more unless I say you can. You've done quite the number on your throat and its not quite healed yet."
"I….I missed…..you," Cody slowly brought his eyes to hers and Barriss smiled, placing a kiss on his forehead.
"I missed you, too. You had me so worried," she said softly, rubbing his hand gently. "Go back to sleep, I'm not going anywhere. I promise."
Cody smiled weakly before letting his eyes slip close.
Three weeks later Barriss finally deemed Cody capable of being moved from the med ward and into his own rooms. Not quite ready for training but ready for a change of scenery. She also decided she would be the one to babysit him, giving Meds a break from the now somewhat normal clone commander. He had moments where he would just shut down, but for the most part he was fine. Sore, weak, but fine.
"You are not helping me to the refresher," Cody growled as he slowly made his way across his room. "I do have some pride left."
"No one would know but us," Barriss smiled from her seat in a chair by his bed where she had been reading.
"But I would know," Cody shot her a glare before closing the door to the refresher. Barriss just laughed, happy to see her Cody back to normal. It had taken some time, but both Barriss and Cody had admitted to feelings for each other. Nothing had really happened, it was just mutually understood that both cared for each other greatly and this latest incident only proved to strengthen their bond. Barriss focused back on her datapad. It was peaceful now. Obi-wan was off discussing their next mission, a more negotiation based trip to allow Cody to heal some more.
"Oh, so you can work but I can't?" Cody leaned against the refresher door, a smirk on his face. Barriss looked up and smiled.
"Its not work, its reading for fun. Ever tried it?" She laughed.
"Yes, I have actually," Cody limped back to his bed and stretched out, head to the side so he could watch her. "Come here."
"Some one want to cuddle?" Barriss smirked, setting her datapad aside. She crawled into bed next to Cody and pulled the blankets over them before curling up against Cody's side. Cody wrapped his good arm around her, pulling her even closer.
"It helps me sleep," he said softly and Barriss placed a kiss on his cheek.
"I know, hon, I know," She whispered, resting her head on his chest, wrapping an arm around his waist. "And I don't plan on letting that change anytime soon."
