Chapter 2 - – New Home, New Life
This is the rewrite of this chapter; and I have change the name of it. The reason for this write is so that Ghostriffer and his foolish friends can't attack this story.
Here is his review:
Well first off your spelling, grammar and all around formatting/structure are a complete and utter nightmare. When a new line of dialogue starts; you start a new paragraph.
Now I see why you like Bakuda's writing; it's obviously on the same level as yours. Normally I would try and give tips on how to improve...but you are obviously hopeless. Please just give up now, there's no hope, you're done. Just throw in the towel and quit while you're behind.
He wrote this review long after I finished this chapter. And I'm going to say this – my life, my rules. No own else will control what I write – got it.
Good now on with the rewriting story.
A young Native American teenager by the name of Alexandra or Alex to her friends; was watching the group of removal men pull the family's large corner sofa into the Carnes Company moving van that was waiting. The girl was carrying an wicker basket that held Molly one of the family's cats, she was also holding an old rucksack, all she had while in the orphanage.
She was removed from her blood family at the age of three, because her father died from over drinking. At the age of six, the SnowRaven family adopted her from the Heaven's Cove Orphanage. She has no memoires of her biological family. Her father is George a tall man of Native American blood, who works as a vet and is a Shaman, her mother is Mary – a beautiful if short woman from Irish bloodlines, who runs a Wiccan website and the Identical twin boys – Jaden and Dyami with ginger hair and dark blue eyes with fair skin. Both are 6ft and over.
After 30 years of living in the Big Apple and working at St Marks Veterinary Hospital, he was offered a new job at South Park's Vets Clinic in South Park and Colorado State. Her mother was hoping to open her own Wiccan shop and run it herself.
As the last of the family's stuff and placed in the van and car. George turned to his family and said "It's time" and the family all climbed into the BMW and were soon off. Alex turned and watched the New York skyline pull away.
After a few hours of driving, the usual pit stops and the twins being as annoying as possible. And after what to Alex seemed to be a hundred years, the small family, their pets and stuff arrive in South Park.
The family's first look at their new home town, they saw that it was cold with snow lying on the ground. With thanksgiving last week and another month to go until the winter holidays. They didn't think it would be so cold now at this time of year.
They soon pulled up in front of a purple roofed house; it looked just like the rest in the neighbourhood except that it had a small porch on the front door. George turned to family and said "Well is it, our new home". Jaden frowned and said "I thought it was bigger".
Mary laughed at her eldest son, "I just looks small, but believe me – inside it is just the Tardis. And look there comes the removal men with the rest of our things". Alex turned as the large van pulled in front of the BMV.
The removal men soon unloaded the stuff from the van into the new house, once inside they asked the boys and George to give them an hand and place the things in the right places.
They took an hour to complete it, and Alex was now in her new bedroom, her mother was right the house was bigger inside then out. The soft sound of paws hitting the ground came to her, and she turned to see the family's pet Timber Wolf Hybrid – Raziel, come in. The wolf sat down next to the girl with his lead in his month and placed his paw on her leg.
Alex laughed and said "I guess you want to go for walk, then Raziel. Well come on let's get to know the town".
She walked past a small play park, and into the main town. She noticed that there are only a small handful of shops in the town including a Chinese called city wok. She soon spotted one called Tweek's Coffee, turned to Raziel she said "a Coffee shop, Lets go in and get something warm to drink", he wagged his tail and the pair entered the shop.
As she entered she noticed a group of four boys sitting near the counter and behind, the corner was a blond haired boy that kept twitching every so often.
Alex could also hear the sounds of argument coming from the group, but after shaking her head she walked to the counter and the blond hair boy turned to hair, unnoticed by Alex but the group had turned to watch her and the fat boy was glaring at her.
The blonde hair boy opened his month to ask her order, when a voice shouted out with "hey you Chin girl, get the fuck out of here, you're kind isn't welcome here bitch". Alex jumped and turned to the fat boy, before glaring at him. The ushanka wearing boy sighed and said "Ignore him".
Alex smiled at the boy, before turning to the fat one, "I'm Native American, not Chinese you fat twit" she snapped.
The fat boy shrugged his shoulders and said "Native American or Chinese – What's the different Hoe". Alex sighed before saying, "The difference is that Native Americans lived in American long before the whites came, and the Chinese live in Asia. But that is besides the point fat boy, for you must be either very dumb or very blind not to notice the furry friend next to me".
The Obese began to laugh before noticing the Timber Wolf that was by now growling at him, he threw himself backwards and said "Oh my good god, that's a fucking wolf".
It was then Alex's turn to laugh and then saying "What give you that idea, that Raziel is a wolf". The teen then released the wolf's lead and said "Oops I accidently drop the lead".
The wolf noticing his freedom soon jumped at the fat human for annoying one of his pack's member, and Cartman had no choice by to run for his life as the wolf chased him.
Raziel the wolf, soon returned to his master and sat next to her, the wolf stared at the remaining boys, when the blue bobble hat boy said "Hey that is a cool dog. I'm Stan by the way," he then held his hand to Alex.
Alex smiled before shaking his hand and said "Hi Stan, I Alexandra but I prefer Alex, and this is Raziel the wolf".
The orange parka boy tiptoed up from behind Alex and was going to touch her chest, when the wolf growled at him. Alex jumped, looked down at the wolf and then at the parka boy, Alex laughed and before saying "Careful..." the green hat boy said "He's Kenny and I'm Kyle", Alex nodded at him before turning to Kenny and saying "Well Kenny, unless you want my Raziel to chase you, like what he did to the fat one".
Kyle sighed and said "His name is Cartman, and his one of the most racist, anti-Semitic and sexist teenager that has ever lived".
Alex frown before asking "Is Cartman his first name?" Kyle shook his head and replied "No Eric is his first name, Cartman is his surname, but everyone calls him that".
Alex nodded as her cellphone beeped, she look at it and saw that it was a message from her mother, telling her come home. She turned to the boys and said "Right, I'm off, hopefully I'll see you guys on Monday".
Once again I have rewriting another chapter in this story, I don't know why, it's not like anyone reads my stories anymore.
