A/N: This is the concluding chapter to the 'Her Boy'/'His Promise' series. Apologies for the looong delay in posting this- health issues will do that. The characters of Bobby, Frank and Frances Goren belong to Dick Wolfe et al, Evie, any other original characters are my own. Errors too are mine...my grammar sometimes gets a bit on the crazy side. Please read and rate, i'd love to hear what you think. This is dedicated to those of you who have followed, read and reviewed my writing over the last couple of years. Thanks for keeping me sane. Two:
He followed her into the café and the male part of him appreciated her female form. She was slender, on the verge of being skinny but she carried it well. Her blonde hair tumbled unadorned to her shoulders, flicking up at the ends. Her skin was clear and cosmetic free and her eyes were a beautiful summer blue. He remembered that her smile lit up her whole face, showing even white teeth. He felt the tug of attraction as they sat down at a vacant table.
He watched her face as they placed their lunch orders and as she turned her head to look at him, her obvious sweetness was a balm to his injured soul.
"I didn't expect to see you…your mom told me you'd transferred out…" To be truthful he was still surprised to see her sitting opposite him.
"I did…I'm sorry I didn't write to tell you" He shrugged his shoulders.
"It's okay…" he began
"No Bobby…it wasn't…I made a promise to you…and…I…didn't keep it"
"Evie…" his words halted when her hand shot across the small table to cover one of his.
"No Bobby""
"Evie" he repeated a little more forcefully. He paused and then took a deep breath.
"I'm starting to…realise…that other…forces…have been at work" He watched her expression tighten and realisation dawn.
"Frank" He inclined his head.
"Frank" he confirmed. He watched her face soften, regret clouding her lovely eyes.
"He said…he told me that you had contacted him to ask that he take over your mom's care…God, I should've realised … contacted you myself" she looked away and frowned deeply.
"Why didn't you?" She looked back at him.
"Because he said…" she paused again and once again her expression became pained.
"He told me that you had told him…that you didn't want to stay in touch any longer …said you didn't want to be reminded of the past because you were, and I quote 'going places'" she admitted. Bobby felt a brief but strong flare of anger directed towards his wayward elder brother.
"I didn't…he made all that up Evie…" She sighed.
"I understand that now…Bobby I'm so…"
"You don't need to apologise again…none of this is your fault"
"Then why do I feel so responsible? We let you down Bobby; people are always letting you down" He wanted to deny that little snippet of information but she was right, one way or another they always did.
He took a deep breath and straightened in his seat. Her hand still covered his and that felt…well it felt nice. He turned his hand over and captured her fingers through his. She glanced down at their joined digits but she didn't move them.
"I don't want to spend my last few hours in the city talking about my brother…or any of that…" he admitted huskily. A soft smile crept over her face.
"Neither do I" she agreed and he smiled at her.
He returned to the empty apartment and he felt warm inside. Lunch with Evie had been good; they had talked like never before and laughed and he had teased and God had he almost flirted with her? A faint flush of embarrassment curled in his stomach. Yes, he believe that he had a little bit but she'd responded, flirted right on back and in hindsight he wondered. He was deep in his thoughts and didn't see him waiting outside the door until the last minute.
"Robert" He automatically froze when he heard his tone. He almost always called him Robert. The two men stared at each other for what felt like an eternity. Bobby deliberately relaxed. He should've expected this; he should've known Frank would pull a stunt like this.
"What do you want dad?" he couldn't keep the tiredness out of his voice for that was how he felt about this whole situation, so damned tired.
"Is that how you're going to talk to me now?"
"I don't know dad…how do you want me to talk to you?" he began to move again, towards the scarred wooden door, at the same time pulling the keys from his jacket pocket. William Goren watched him slot the key into the keyhole and open the door.
"With a little respect for a start" Bobby rolled his eyes and briefly, almost surreptitiously shook his head. He kept his mouth shut, swallowing down the retort that had almost sprung from his lips. It was a waste of time arguing with this man, they went around in circles, getting defensive and it just wasn't worth the hassle. He was shipping out again soon and wouldn't have to see him or put up with him and his brand of bullshit again, for a while anyway.
"Whatever" he muttered under his breath. He was aware of him following him inside.
"How have you been?" Bobby paused and slowly turned to face him.
"As you can see, I'm fine" he replied coolly. The older man regarded him.
"You look good. Army life suits you huh?" Bobby just stared at him. Then he huffed out a sigh.
"Yeah dad, it suits me fine" He folded his arms and tilted his head to one side.
"You just making a social call or is there something that you want?" he demanded. William frowned.
"Can't I visit my own son once in a while?"
"Yeah but it's usually to hit me up for a few bucks in the process…well I'm sorry but today you're out of luck, I'm broke" the last couple of days had seen to that. He turned, unfolding his arms and began to look for his duffle bag. He was sure he could find somewhere else to hang out until it was time to leave. Spending time with his dad, intentionally or not, almost always left him in a bad mood. He spied it across the room and went over to retrieve it.
"I talked to Frank"
Bobby took his time. He picked up his duffle bag and slung it across his shoulder before turning to face his dad. Here it was, the real reason for the visit.
"I guessed as much"
"He's upset"
"Why? Is it because he won't be able to steal her money anymore? Is he upset that I've spoiled his fun?" he enquired waspishly. He then took a deep breath. Poison, it was pure poison being here.
"Mom is safe, she's getting help and he will not destroy that" He straightened up. He was a good three inches taller than his father and he took advantage of that. He was past feeling intimidated by him, past hoping for a scrap of attention from this man. Over time he'd slowly realised that whatever he did, whatever he achieved, it didn't get him what he'd ultimately wanted so he stopped trying.
"You won't destroy that" he tacked on and watched the anger flare in the other man's eyes.
"Don't you dare…"
"Dare to do what dad? Talk to you like an adult? Care about what happens to my mother? You don't, he doesn't…she's sick, he took advantage of that…you knew how sick and you took off, so what does that make you huh?" William took a step towards Bobby but faltered when the boy didn't move back as he expected him to. Instead Bobby walked towards him.
"You can't push me around anymore dad. You don't scare me. You can say what you want, threaten all you want and you can turn on that charm all you want…it won't work with me anymore… because I just don't care" he informed him in a low but lethal voice. They stared at each other, fists clenched. It was William who blinked first.
"You're nothing like me" William growled out eventually. Bobby forced himself to relax. He slowly unclenched his fists. He almost smiled.
"Well thank God for that" he answered softly.
You're nothing like me…
Those words echoed around Detective Robert Goren's mind as he stared down at the sleeping face cradled in his hands. No truer words had been spoken. He wondered whether his father had known back then, whether he'd had his suspicions.
His mother had confessed that she hadn't been sure of his paternity on her death bed and he had watched her fade away whilst new demons battled with the old inside of him.
The results of his paternity test had been a vicious blow but at the same time he hadn't been surprised. Why would this be any different? A serial killer, multiple rapist had fathered him, why should life be any kinder to him because his mother hadn't been sure? It was par for the course for him.
He looked down again. That was the past. Evie had told him over and over again that who his father was, didn't automatically make him who he was, that was something he'd achieved all by himself.
Maybe, subconsciously, he'd seen the warning signs. The circumstances of his birth, his childhood, his adolescence, had been horrible, even cruel. He'd had a mother trapped in the overwhelming miasma of her illness and a father, whom he'd believed to be his father, showing him almost total indifference unless he didn't get out of his way quick enough that was. Maybe it was his determination that had propelled him to become the man he was today because the alternative was just too…terrifying to think about.
He stared down at the innocent face. He'd lost his trust in promises but this little soul in his arms trusted him and that was a daunting thought. What if he let him down?
He swallowed and frowned deeply.
"Bobby…" he lifted his head when she heard him whisper his name.
"Go back to sleep, we're fine here" he whispered back. She smiled sleepily.
"You'll be fine…he'll be fine" she reminded him and he wondered how she was able to do that?
Read his mind like that.
He didn't think that he was an open book.
He turned his head and looked at her. Somehow they had lost contact in the intervening years of army and college life and hadn't reconnected until one evening, emerging from 1PP; he'd been so lost in his thoughts that he had literally knocked her off her feet. It had almost felt like fate. Now they were married. Now they were parents and now he was terrified that he would turn out like him, or worse still, like her.
The fear sparkled through him.
"Bobby" she whispered again. She was right beside him now; he could smell the gentle scent of her perfume. He watched as she scooped their son out of his arms and laid him back in his crib. She straightened and then looked at him. She held out her hand and he looked at it. It spoke to him of promise and potential and a future worth pursuing.
"Come back to bed" she invited. He took a deep breath and gently exhaled.
Trust was a wonderful thing. Promises too maybe…one day…
He took it.
FIN.
