MP: I own nothing and this little sequel fic is a sequel to Operation Get Lana. This goes out to all the corrections officers out there.
MSEL Prison Duty
Barbara sighed as she heard the finger drumming start again.
"Will you stop that, Barb?" she asked as she looked over the recent admittance papers for the last four Mary Sue and Gary Stu detainees.
"I hate prison duty! Why can't I have taken an extra shift in field work?" whined Barb who was commonly known as MP.
"Because the other authors hate prison duty too and it's your turn." Said Barbara as MP sighed and stood up.
"I'll go walk the block to make sure the anti-Sue barrier is working." said MP. She walked around the block looking in through the observation barriers at various Sues and Stus. She saw several Sues in black beating up some of the few Stus in that cell.
'The Batman Sue/Stu cell, always interesting; especially the slash created Stus.' thought MP flatly. She walked past the Harry Potter Mary Sues and Gary Stu's trying to cast the perfect spells but always messing up. Once a week a Sue or Stu's perfection rays would fry them and the unlucky sap on prison duty had to remove the charred remains.
This week it was in the Superman cell.
'Crap.' Thought MP. They had just shoved four more Sue's in there. Three were super daughters and one was another self-insert gone wrong. The Self-insert was the one who had fried. It was these Sues or Stus who fried more often than not. She pulled out a communicator with the front desk.
"Barbara? We've got a perfect fry again." said MP.
"Very well Barb. I'll increase the anti-Sue barrier at your cell. Where are you?" asked Barbara from the communicator.
"Superman Sue cell." said MP.
"Make that triple anti-Sue." Said Barbara. "Ok, go for it but be quick."
"Ok!" said MP and she gripped the door before flinging it open and dashing inside and grabbing the charred Sue and began to drag her out.
"Let us out, we're perfect!" came the cries. MP was barely able to crawl her way out of the cell and upon exiting she realized she'd forgotten the remains of the fried Sue!
'I'd better get paid over time for this.' She thought as she dived back in. Upon exiting this time she only had an arm.
She looked in and saw the Sues were laying in wait for her next entrance.
"Barbara. We have a code 3.14159." said MP.
"Godzilla is attacking?" said Barbara.
"Sorry, code 3.14159265387." said MP.
"Oh, Mary Sue gang up preventing you from extracting burnt remains. Looks like you're going to need help." Said Barbara. At the desk there was a button labeled, 'Incase of code 3.14159265387, push me!' Barbara pushed it and the alarm klaxons blared.
Up above Earth's Atmosphere,
The Watchtower floated serenely above the Earth and all was peaceful until an alarm rang out through the station. J'onn was the first to the control room. The Martian looked at the screens and immediately summoned two more heroes; Batman and Wonder Woman.
"The MSEL requires our aide." Said J'onn. They walked over to the teleporter and arrived in the lobby to see Barbara waiting for them with the usual anti-Sue SWAT weapons. They took them off of her as she debriefed them.
"During a standard sweep of the block, Barb spotted a self combusted Sue corpse in holding cell three. She was forced to re-enter when during her scramble to extract herself from the cell, she had dropped the remains. She re-entered and exited with only part of the corpse and looked in to see the Sue's were laying in wait for her this time. To prevent another possible Mary Sue prison break, we require aide." Said Barbara.
"There was a previous breach?" asked Batman.
"It was minor one. We had a few creators come in here pretending to be the relief shift but they were really there to break their precious characters out, in complete denial that their creations were as bad as we had said." said Barbara waving it off.
"Barbara! HELP! I thought they had backed off so I went in now I'm surrounded and only by waving this corpse around can I keep them off of me long enough to speak!" screamed MP through the communicator.
It was over in a few moments. Batman took care of the Mary Sues, J'onn took care of the corpse, and, Wonder Woman took care of MP.
"Thank you!" said MP hugging Wonder Woman, "I thought I was a goner!"
"Next time, let your friend do this." said Batman before he stalked away.
"We will dispose of this." said J'onn referring to the corpse.
"Be more careful." said Wonder Woman before she too walked away. MP walked away from the block highly embarrassed and saw Barbara standing nearby.
"Sorry." said MP.
"That's ok. But you're handling the paperwork for this Code 3.14159265387." said Barbara.
"I think I'd rather be locked in with the Harry Potter Sues." said MP as she walked towards the desk.
"To think, you took working on the block over doing the booking desk!" said Barbara laughing as the younger author began to work on the pile of papers, causing her to roll her eyes.
The moral of this story is;
If given a choice on where you work on prison duty a never chose the block!
THE END
