Disclaimer: I do not own Soul Eater.
Blind Faith
By. Poisoned Scarlett
Today was it: the first day she would do something on her own, without Soul.
She needed to get up an hour and a half earlier than normal in order to arrive to work for that conference Kidd reminded her about last night, considering she needed to set up and rehearse her part to ensure everything went smoothly. Despite her current disability, she was still an important asset to the group, and Kidd refused to give her leeway this time around. So that was why she was here all by herself at the break of dawn, trying to fix her hair as symmetrically as she could so she wouldn't be more of a burden than she already was.
It was difficult but she managed. Well, she hoped she at least looked decent. She also had to take out her own clothes, something else that was new. Of course, Soul had stitched distinctive bumps on her shirts (after getting the hang of how to sew without skewering his fingers) so she knew which one was blue, white, green, a combination of colors, that sort of thing, so picking out a shirt was not much of an issue. She only wore skirts so he only had to arrange her work skirts in one drawer (at the top) while her casual skirts remained on the bottom drawer (all the way at the bottom). He also arranged her shoes from business in the first row, casual in the second, her boots last, in her closet. Her jackets were all on the left, her sweaters in the middle, her casual long sleeved shirts on the right. There were gaps between each one so she didn't confuse herself. After some debate, they had also rearranged her furniture so she didn't bump into it or trip over anything when she woke up at night to use the bathroom.
Soul helped her with nearly every aspect of her home life and Tsugumi helped her at work, doing the things she couldn't while she directed and instructed and kept everything running in smooth order. She was the brains, Tsugumi was the body, as Liz had laughingly put when she found out Kidd still wanted her to work despite her condition.
She was lucky that her workplace was nearby and that her boss was merciful enough to allow her to continue working, even if it was only part-time and even if she did not have as many responsibilities as before. She had a car but driving it was impossible with her condition. Soul always swung by an hour before she left (upon her insistence or else he'd arrive on time and she'd be late) and drove her to work and picked her up afterwards.
But today she would be doing everything on her own and it scared her, something else she wasn't accustomed to feeling.
It shouldn't be that way but it was.
Soul hadn't always been there, truth be told. In the beginning, when she was blessed with sight, most of their conversations were either arguments or bland small talk and they had never exchanged names. She remembered him because of his distinctive features: a mess of white hair with lazy burgundy eyes, and that lopsided grin that revealed sharp canines and never failed to infuriate her. He remembered her because she always whacked him on the head with her clipboard whenever he poked fun at her. He just had to look for the girl with the clipboard, or pigtails.
Her phone rang and Maka startled, following the sound of her ringtone. When she found her bag, she carefully dug through it and pulled out her cellphone. She hoped she pressed the right button as she rose it to her ear.
"Hello?"
"Hi, Maka! It's me, Tsugumi! I'm already outside, are you ready to go?"
"Good morning. I'll be right down, thanks for coming over to pick me up!" Maka smiled, using the wall to guide her to the front door. She cursed when she remembered her keys and she struggled to remember where she last left them, trying to imagine her home in her head like the doctor said. Using her imagination, her memory, was the only way for her to see now. But she quickly found there was no reason to because Soul took them last night. He left them in his pocket, probably on purpose so he could let himself in today and wake her up by slamming the door open at ungodly hours because of his damnable insomnia. Maka stifled a sigh. "Give me a few minutes, I have to find my keys!"
"Oh, do you need help? I can go up if you want!"
"No, it's fine! I know where they are. I'll be down soon," Maka assured and hung up. She sighed, tapping her foot impatiently, then made her way to the kitchen table. She felt for the notepad she kept there and searched around some more for the pen that was always nearby. She jotted down a message for Soul and contemplated leaving it on the table. But he'd probably overlook it so she once more made her way to her bedroom, bumping into the ajar door in her haste.
"Ouch!" She squealed and tensed. But no one answered her back. Ah, right, right. Soul wasn't here today. She felt her cheeks flare up; really, she had gotten too used to having him around. Maka dropped the note on top of her bed and walked back out carefully, heading out the front door and only locking the bottom knob since she had no key. She hoped Soul would arrive on time so she wouldn't be locked out for long...
Soul Evans found her at the supermarket once, in her sweats and a track jacket, her hair limp down her shoulders, leaning against the wall holding two grocery bags with her shoulders hunched. It was a few days after the accident. She supposed she looked like a wreck because he hadn't been as snide as usual and when he discovered the reason she had a thick gauze tapped over her eyes, he quieted altogether. Liz had accompanied her that time but she had forgotten something so she left her standing by the entrance. Maka had just wanted to go to the car – she wanted to go home, actually, Liz had forced her out – but, the her from those months ago had bitterly thought, being blind meant stepping into a whole new world.
She hadn't adjusted to being blind very well; not like how she was now, oh no. She holed herself up in her room because being outside was dangerous. And being home all the time no longer gave her the peace it once had. She had absolutely nothing to do at home; nothing except her own thoughts, thoughts that always made her head hurt and her hearty heavy. She couldn't read anymore and audiobooks only gave her so much pleasure before they, too, lost their luster and she became even more sullen—alarmingly so. She didn't speak to Soul until about a week after her first encounter with him (if you could call it an encounter; she hardly heard him). It was after spending another long day cooped up inside her apartment to wrangle with her heavy depression that it happened.
She supposed she owed Liz more than she believed she did. After all, Liz met Soul through her that day at the supermarket and it was Liz who told him the 'new problem' Maka had aside from losing her vision. Liz had been the reason he stepped into her life the way he did. Maka doubted Liz would ever realize how indebted she was to her, really.
Maka had been in bed the day he came, staring at the black that was her new sight, not wanting to do anything more than lay there and sleep everything away, when a knock sounded. She ignored it the first few times but when she saw that the person wouldn't relent, she finally answered the door, more than surprised when Soul's drawling voice greeted her.
Then everything changed.
"Maka, here, let me help you!" Tsugumi fretted and Maka felt a hand take her elbow and guide her to her car. The air was cold, colder than she thought it would be. It stung her cheeks, her nose. She wondered if her every exhale was a blow of mist, a puffy cloud of white that signaled the coming of winter. She frowned slightly. If Soul had been there, he would have taken out a thicker jacket for her to wear. The one she chose out was too thin. "Watch your step!"
"Thanks but I can take it from here," Maka smiled and climbed into the passenger seat without any further assistance. The seats squeaked under her, a stiff leather that she always disliked. The seat belts felt course, rigid, and when it clicked into place, the strap pressed her into the cushions of the seat firmly. She could really do without being sucked into the seat. "Do you know the schedule?"
"Yep!" Tsugumi chirped, starting her car. "Kidd emailed it to me last night! I've got it right here! Do you want to hear it?"
"Yes."
"Okie dokie," Tsugumi happily hummed, digging through her things to find the email she printed out. When she found it, she cheerfully relayed the schedule, reading everything on the paper as Maka had instructed she do every time she read her a document. Although Maka hardly lifted a finger, she did have an important role within the office, and Tsugumi admired Maka for her determination to remain independent and strong despite her disability.
Of course, Maka would beg a differ. Soul had come over more frequently after that first day and gave her something to look forward to. But his mission wasn't just to keep her company, it was to care for her. He forced her outside even if he had to drag her, he made her food and cleaned up her house when it began to clutter and forced her to eat and take care of herself. He practically shoved the will to live down her throat until she got a clue and started returning to her old habits. It took painstaking weeks of working on it but she had mustered up the courage to contact Kidd and they had arranged to have her return to work, at least part-time. Her father disapproved, telling her he had no problem paying for her expenses while she recovered, but she had finally begun to feel restless. The days of doing nothing except waiting for Soul, letting him do everything for her because she was useless, had finally begun to gnaw on her. She wanted to feel useful again, a least a little bit, and although Soul disapproved, too, when he found out she wanted to work again, he promised to relent only if he drove her to and from work and if the work started to take a toll on her, she'd stop going.
So far, so good.
"How is Soul, Maka?" Tsugumi asked as she drove.
"He's fine. His usual idiot self," Maka smiled.
"Good! Y'know, Liz and I were talking about him yesterday while you handled those interviews," Tsugumi began, happily as she always did. "Liz called him your housewife! Because he's always dotting on you, it's so cute!"
"Ho-housewife?" Maka sputtered, cheeks reddening. "He isn't! He doesn't help me all the time – well, he does, but he doesn't have to! If only he'd let me handle it myself! But he always says that I might hurt myself or I'll break something, it's so annoying! I'm just blind, that doesn't mean I can't do something! I can't do everything but there are things I can do on my own! He just doesn't want to accept that!" Maka pouted and Tsugumi giggled.
"That's what we were saying! Liz told me that when she told Soul about, um, your depression," she hesitated there but Maka only nodded, "she didn't think he'd take it so seriously. I mean, she did ask him if he could talk to you a little since you two were friends but she meant it as a pick-me-up, not like him taking care of you and stuff."
"It was weird to have him over so much in the beginning – we were always arguing and it usually left me feeling worse than before," Maka laughed lightly, remembering those days. "But he sounded like he really wanted to help me so I let him…and I guess I let him have too much freedom because now he does everything for me. I think he'd spoon-feed me if I let him," Maka muttered. But her smile softened at the thought. "It's sweet, he tries so hard to make things a little easier for me."
"It must be so hard, Maka," Tsugumi said sympathetically. "You were so independent! And then that car crash…"
Maka rose a hand to her head, rubbing her neck instead. "The doctors say it's not permanent, not from what the studies show. They said that it'll slowly come back, with time. One day I'll be able to see more than just shadows – it might even come back all at once!"
"Maybe," Tsugumi sighed. "Hopefully. You deserve to see, Maka, you've done so much! You deserve it!"
She hoped, too, that her sight would return as the doctors predicted it would. She had hit her head extremely hard in that car crash and, as a result, lost her vision. But the doctors assured that the damage was only temporary and, with time, it would return. Not the same, of course, she'd likely need glasses, but it would come back and she'd be able to see color and faces and the world around her that had been enshrouded in darkness for what felt like years when it was only months. Even now, her sight was not as bad as it had been in the beginning. In the beginning, it had been pitch black, now it had lightened; there was no color but very vague shadows of things she usually recognized. Sometimes, from the corner of her eye, she'd think she saw actual texture but it was always gone when she looked. But it was a good sign, she hoped, that she was regaining her sight.
"I'm sure your sight will come back, Maka!" Tsugumi optimistically beamed.
Maka smiled a little.
And the rest of the day was spent as it usually was.
The conference flew by without a hitch and Tsugumi kept her sufficiently distracted throughout the day. It was about two hours before she needed to go home that another one of her infamous headaches struck and her mood plummeted but Tsugumi didn't let it bring her down. Although her constant chatter made her head pound, she was relieved for it. It was better than absolute silence. Anything was better than that haunting silence from those months of isolation, those days spent hearing the tick of time passing one second at a time and being unable to do anything about it.
"Are you sure you don't want me to help you upstairs?" Tsugumi asked worriedly when she arrived at Maka's apartment that evening.
"Don't worry, I know my way from here!"
"Okay…if you're sure—oh, Soul's here!"
"He is?" Maka asked, perking up. "How do you know?"
"I see his motorcycle! It's orange, right?"
"An orange Harley?" Maka offered.
"Yep!"
"That's his. He must be inside then…." Maka rubbed her temple and waved at her partner, bidding her goodbye until tomorrow. Maka was careful as she went to her apartment: she could see the vague outline of the staircase, sometimes the steps if she squinted a lot, but the harder she tried to see, the more painful her headache became and the less she saw.
"Soul?" Maka called when she entered. Idiot left the door open again, she'd yell at him for that later. She barely had it in her to lock it behind her herself. "I'm home..."
"In the kitchen!" he shouted and she caught the sounds of meat frying on the pan. The smell, usually well-received by her, only made her want to groan. Maka plopped down on the couch, falling over on her side. Maka shifted on her back and pressed her fingers over her eyes, letting her thumbs massage her temples.
"Hey, what's this about needing to get up earlier? You could've called me, I was actually awake at that time!" Soul shouted, bristling. Maka grunted only back. "Maka?"
"What?"
"You alright?"
"…Do we have any Advil?"
"Your head hurt again?"
"Yes..."
The sizzle of the meat lessened and soon after she heard his footsteps pad into the bathroom. Maka waited patiently, hoping to soothe her pain by giving her temples a gentle massage with her fingers, but she felt little difference. "Here," she felt his hand nudge hers and she took it, letting him pull her up effortlessly. She rested her elbows on her knees and rubbed her hands over her face with a tiny yawn.
"Here," Soul softly said, handing her a glass of water and the pills. She took a few moments to let the pain settle before she took the pills and handed the empty glass back to him. Then she slumped back on the couch with a sigh. She covered her eyes again, rubbing them out gently because it helped soothe the ache. Soul watched her for a second, then said,"It's been getting worse, huh?"
"I've been straining my vision," Maka told him, surprising him. "I'm starting to see more than shadows now, they're actual outlines of things. But then it hurts...I think I try too hard."
"Sounds promising," Soul smirked a little and she smiled when his hand came to rest on her cheek. His fingers rubbed her temple while both of hers continued to softly rub her eyes out. After a second of this, feeling him sit so close to her, close enough that she felt warm already, she asked:
"What are you cooking?"
"Steak."
"Just steak?" She teased and Soul snorted.
"And rice and vegetables, don't worry, jeez. That only happened once!"
Maka laughed, laughing harder when he asked what was so funny. "You know what Tsugumi told me this morning? She said Liz calls you my housewife," Maka teasingly said and, for a second, it was absolutely silent save for her giggles, before he furiously shouted that was not cool at all.
"Oh, what's so wrong with that?" Maka giggled while he glared at the floor, mortified. "I don't see anything wrong with it!"
"Maka, that's not cool!" Soul bemoaned. "I am not a housewife, goddammit!"
"Hmm," Maka muffled her laughter in her hand when he snarled at her. "I think it's cute!"
"I think it's stupid and the next time I talk to her, I'll tell her that!"
"Don't! It's not stupid, it's cute!" Maka insisted. She reached forward and her fingers grazed his chin. He didn't move back, he stopped flinching away from her touch a long time ago, and she let her fingers follow the line of his jaw until she reached his neck. She couldn't see, not yet, maybe not for a long time, but she could imagine and so she let her fingers map the skin of his face curiously. She tugged him forward and he grunted back so she tugged harder until he complied. "You are kind of like a mom!" She beamed and he was suddenly glad she was blind: she couldn't see his stricken face at the comparison.
"Maka, this is seriously not cool," he sulked.
"But you take care of me!" Maka hugged him. Soul stayed still, listening to her. "I've never had anyone care for me like this. Papa was always out and my mama was always busy with her online business. It was weird when you first started to care for me, I've never had anyone like that, you've helped me out so much!" Maka gratefully said, tightening her arms around his neck. She felt his arms wrap around her, too. "I think…if you hadn't come over that day…. right now I'd still be in that rut I dug myself in when I lost my vision," she dropped her voice, reluctant to remember those dark days. "I have so much to thank you for."
"It's fine," Soul sighed, leaning his chin on the side of her head. "You don't have to do anything," he assured, knowing she was thinking about making it up to him somehow. "If I get in a motorcycle accident and break a leg, you can help me out then, too," he joked but she made a weak noise in the back of her throat and tightened her arms around his neck.
"Don't joke around like that…"
He chuckled and tugged her hair loose from its restraints. She would purr if she could when he ran his fingers through it; untangling it, combing through it until it fell straight down her back. She felt a pleasant haze start to weaken her body until she was slumped against him, dozing quietly while his hand marveled her hair. When he heard her breaths even out, he gently moved away and laid her on the couch. He took off her heels and he grabbed a cushion from the armchair, putting it under her head so she had something to rest on. He returned to the kitchen, deciding he'd eat his share and save Maka's on a plate for later.
His reasons for helping her didn't have ulterior motives like Liz first thought when she heard of his frequent visits: he just honestly couldn't stand to see someone as fierce as Maka Albarn become reduced to an empty shell. He'd always liked her, even though she hit him with that clipboard and always called him a moron. Their arguments were something he looked forward to. She made things a lot more interesting, how she felt the need to prove him wrong at every turn; how she made this noise of frustration, a mix between a growl and a moan, when he made things difficult. She had spunk, she had a spark in her eyes that he admired; a type of fiery determination and strength that he lacked. So when she told him she lost her sight, he'd been disturbed by the absolute lack of anything in her eyes, her face. There was a defeated slump to her shoulders, a sadness to her words and smile, and her eyes – her beautiful eyes, they were covered up by those bandages, covered up from the world. She wasn't that fierce woman he remembered. She had become a stranger overnight.
When Liz told him about Maka's steadily worsening depression, he decided it couldn't hurt to try. He dropped by and, after a few days of struggling to get her to do anything more than shrug and sulk, things began to look up – even a little bit. There were small changes until, finally, she giggled at something he said and that tiny lift of her lips made her look so beautiful. That was all it took: a tiny laugh, a tiny smile, and suddenly all those days spent trying to get her to engage were worth it. He supposed that was when he started to extend his help as more than just friendly companionship, too…he really couldn't explain that, he didn't quite know himself.
He had hoped no one would ask.
No one did but that didn't mean they didn't notice.
"Hey," Soul answered his phone through a mouthful of rice. "What's up, Liz? Hm? I don't think that's a good idea. Maka's head has been hurting a lot recently, she says it's because she's been straining her vision. I think it's coming back," Soul grinned when Liz gasped in delight. "Yeah, soon she'll be able to see again! She won't need Tsugumi on her ass about everything at work anymore – you bitch, call me that again and I'll chop off an inch of your hair the next time I see you!" Soul bristled. Liz only laughed mockingly and dared him to. "It's a stupid name! Grow up already!"
"Come on, admit it, you're like her wife! You're always chasing after her, making sure she doesn't get hurt, dotting on her, what else can you be? Oh, oh my god, you can be a mom—!"
"Say it and you can kiss your precious hair goodbye!" Soul sneered.
"Ohhh! Aw, Soul wants to be Maka's wifey! That's cute! I better tell Maka to go buy a wedding ring and propose to you to make it official!"
"Piss off," Soul flatly said. "Is that all you called for?"
"Patty just wants to see Maka again. We might drop by later today if we can."
"Alright, cool, later."
"Bye, housewife!"
"You—!" Soul glared at his phone when she hung up on him. He tossed his phone on the table noisily and brooded as he finished his meal. His eyes strayed to the couch, where he knew Maka was peacefully dozing, and his scorn dwindled to resignation. Housewife, what an uncool name for someone as cool as him. He might dot on her but it was more for precautions sake! If she fell or something happened, she might never get her vision back! Her head was kind of a big deal; more than ever before. That was why she always gave him mini-anxiety attacks when she bumped into doors like a klutz. He was only ensuring her safety but he guessed doing all the chores and stuff wasn't totally necessary…especially since his own apartment was pretty much a mess since he spent more time with Maka.
What the hell was he doing? Idiot, he chided himself, he knew exactly what he was doing! That was probably the worst part, liking this sort of messed up relationship between them. Because it made him feel better about himself, maybe? No, not something that shallow. It covered up something that had been left raw a long time ago. That sounded better, he decided, by fixing her he fixed himself.
Sort of.
Soul sighed, putting a halt to his jumbled thoughts, and stood up to dump his plate in the sink. Afterwards, he wandered back to the living room, and fell back on the armchair to watch some TV. He cringed when it was on loud and muted it immediately, darting his eyes to Maka. But she barely roused so he lowered the volume while she slept on.
Tch. Housewife, Soul scowled. He looked at his bare ring finger for a second and scowled deeper, ignoring his hot cheeks.
What an uncool name for someone as cool as him.
A/N: Please excuse all the grammar errors, I barely had time to go through this more than two times. I'll take another thousand glances at it when I don't feel like drooling on my keyboard. I'm tired. Everything looks like an error now. Ugh. Late-night classes...never again lol
Also updating now because for the next two weeks I will be swamped with homework but hopefully I'll be able to update again sometime in-between. Let's cross our fingers and hope I can!
Scarlett.
