TITLE : Lightbulb, Tape And A Box of Chocolate Part 2 - 'Revenge is so sweet'

RATING: PG just to be safe

CATEGORY: Romance, Humour

PAIRING: Sam/Jack

SPOILERS: Just a little "Divide and Conquer"

TIME FRAME: Season 4

DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. No copyright infringement is intended.

Please do not post or distribute this story without the author's permission. Copyright by Blue Topaz, 2002



It's been 3 days and I'm still in the infirmary. The nurse took my blood this morning and I'm waiting for the result to come. The Colonel had been really helpfull, he came by to the infirmary as often as he could. Keeping me company as Janet would only allow 4 hours 'date' with my laptop everyday. He's here right now and I decided that this is the time to ask him for the tape.

" Come on Sir, just put me out of my misery and give me the tape already, would you?"

" No way Carter. Do you know how hard it is to make this recording?"

" Sir. You accidentally came across them in the locker room. How hard is that? It's just a pure luck." I pointed out.

" I'm not talking about how I get it Carter, I'm talking about having to hold my laugh while I have to clamp Daniel's mouth with my hand all the time. Guess all the year in the Black Ops finally paid off."

" Be a sport Sir. I couldn't order you do hand me back the tape. If you're in my position, I'm sure you'll transform into your commanding mode straight away and say ' Major, give me the tape. That's an order'. Me, being a good officer, will comply with your order and give it to you straight away. " not after I make a copy of that of course. Just don't say it outloud.

" Oh yeah, Daniel will be back in two hours. Apparently, the temple was destroyed when the Ghould left the planet. Something about covering their track."

" Don't change the subject Sir. I still want the tape."

" He said that it's really unusual as Ghould love to leave their track behind being a false God and all. He also said it might be a minor Ghould fleeing from ."

" SIR" I cut his explanation short. There's no way he's gonna distract me from getting the tape. I gave him a warning look to show him that I really want the tape. He's grinning now, suddenly I have a bad feeling about this, his eyes glowing with mischief.

" How bad do you want it?" I paused for a while, wondering what kind of game he plays now. But there's no way I'm gonna back up. Carters never back up.

" Bad" I said with not so confident voice. He still grinning.

" Well, I guess I could give it to you"

" Really?" Something is very wrong, I can fell it.

" Of course you have to do something for me in return." See, I know something is up.

" Oh .. Okay. What do you want me to do then?" I asked carefully.

" Mmm, I couldn't think of anything right now. But I'm sure I can come out with something eventually."

"I could always ask General Hammond to order you to give me the tape you know." He's laughing now.

" Are you sure you want Hammond to know about this?"

" That is my last resort Sir. What is it that you want me to do anyway? If you make sure it's nothing revolting or embarrassing, I'll do it." I put on a brave face.

" Alright, I'll bring the tape to you as soon as I could think of something that is not revolting or embarrassing for you to do." He started to get up.

" Are you leaving now?" I ask in normal voice trying to hide my disappointment.

" Yeah, I still have some paperwork to do. You know me and paperwork, we get along swell" That gave me an idea.

" What if I help you doing your paperwork for a week? Will you gave me the tape?"

" You won't get away so easily Major."

" A month then."

He puts his hands in his pocket and starts to walk away

" Two months."

" See you later Carter"

I let out a sigh. Well, got to think of better proposition next time. One that he could not refuse.

---------------------------

Janet let me out of the infirmary, but she wanted me to stay on the base just to be in the safe side. Normally, I'd be happy with that but she made it clear that my lab is a forbidden zone. She even put an SF in front of my lab just to make sure. So, it only leave the commissary. I'm in the middle of enjoying my blue jello when Daniel and the two Captains from SG5 decided to show up.

I give him a wave and he waves back. They get some food and sit on my table. Daniel next to me, Payne in front of me and Leon next to him. Seeing those three together gave me an idea. It's payback time.

" Hi Sam, how are you doing?"

" Hi Major Carter."

" Major Carter, glad to see you alright."

They act as nothing going on. My brain still sorting out which actions will I take. Lying in the infirmary for 3 days doing nothing but sleep gave me lots of time to plan my revenge. Revenge part one begin, target: Daniel.

" I'm alright, for now. It doesn't help though that my friend didn't even say goodbye before he goes off world even though I'm lying on the infirmary bed." I look at him.

First, make him feel guilty a bit.

" Mmm, about that. I'm really sorry Sam. I think I really caught up in the whole thing. You know how important this is to me and you haven't woken up yet when we went. I didn't want to disturb you." He tried to avoid my gaze by sipping his coffee.

" Of course I know that Daniel. But surely there was no reason for you not to leave any note or maybe flower, isn't it?" I'm enjoying this.

" Jee Major, I never picture you as a flower person." Leon decides to join our conversation. I turn my gaze to him. He's asking for trouble and I promise you that he's gonna get it.

" I'm not, but still it would be nice if someone decided to gave me that. So Captains, where's your Major?"

" Oh, he's in the General's office now. It's about having a temporary replacement for Lt. Green, he got some kind of viral infection. Doctor said he's going to be out for a month." Payne answered.

" Oh . by the way, Daniel. Do you know the new nurse that just started a week ago?"

Second and last, make him uncomfortable, VERY uncomfortable.

" We got new nurse? Cool." Leon chips in. I roll my eyes.

" Anyway, I found out that our newest infirmary personnel has a thing for you. If I were you I'll be very careful on my next visit there." I scoop my jello. Only a little bit left.

It's a known fact that Daniel is not taking compliment (i.e. girls drooling over him) very well. He shifts on his chair a bit.

" Sam, I don't recall any new nurse. There's a new doctor however." He looks confused.

" Doctor Jackson, don't play dumb. Oh God, you're so lucky. Do you know how many woman here on the base that are dying to date you."

I'll show you how lucky he is. I wait until he just about to sip his coffee again.

" Daniel," I say in a patient tone " the one that gave you your post- mission check up on Wednesday is not a new doctor, it's a new nurse"

I gave him 2 seconds. One, he sips the coffee. Two, his eyes go wide.

" DOCTOR JACKSON, THAT'S GROUSE."

" AW, DOCTOR JACKSON."

I'm trying my best not to laugh here. Daniel managed to spray all the coffee in his mouth to those two Captains. Perfect, serves them right. Daniel just ignores them and stared at me in disbelieved.

" Please tell me that you are joking. Sam, please tell me that YOU ARE JOKING. You are joking, aren't you? Please say yes. Please, oh my God, please say yes." He's panicking right now. I'm so enjoying this. Oh, and I'm feeling much better now.

" Major Carter, what's wrong with the new nurse? Why is Doctor Jackson so uptight?" Payne trying to clean up a bit, Leon does the same.

" Yeah, Major. Why is it? Wait a minute, she's not an alien or anything like that, isn't she?" I have to admit, Leon seems to be very creative in 'making things up' department. SGC does accept asylum seeker from other planets any now and then.

" Oh no no, nothing like that." Daniel face is turning white now.

" Sam, please tell me you're joking. I beg you, for the sake of my sanity." I have to let out an evil smile.

" Daniel, I always let you know when I'm joking, don't I?."

" Sam . please." He lucky that the commissary is a bit empty at this hour and there's the fact that I still love him enough not to embarrass him in front of a big audience. He's a sweetheart of course, but he has to learn the hard way that I don't like to be made fun of.

" No Daniel."

" OK then, I'm going back to my lab, got something to translate. Got important stuffs to do. Mmm, I'll see you later." He couldn't run much faster than that, abandoning his tray along the way but still have the coffee cup in his hand. I guess he needs the extra strong coffee that he stashed in his office to overcome the shock.

" Uhm, Major. Do you mind telling us what's going on?"

" Yeah Major, I think you owe us an explaination, I know you did it on purpose. What have we done to you that make us deserve this?" Leon grinning right now. He absolutely has no idea what I have in store for them. OK, lets get ready for revenge part two, targets: Payne and Leon (two evil SG5's Captains)

" Well, it's about the new nurse of course. The one that has a crush on Daniel."

" What's wrong with her anyway? Does she has a thing for needle like Dr. Frasier does?"

" Oh no, no. nothing like that at all. On the contrary, HE is very gently with his patients." I guess that should burst their bubble. They look dumbstruck. That's men to you, when you said nurse they always assumed that it will be a woman. Don't they see ER? Honestly.

" Oh my God .. " Oh my God indeed

" Poor Doctor Jackson." Well, I wouldn't say poor. Nurse Finn is really a sweet guy, he just a little besotted with Daniel that's all. Who wouldn't? Daniel got the puppy dog eyes and he's the listener type. Every women's (and some men) dream.

" But still Major, that doesn't explain why you decided to tell him this. I mean he's your friend and you don't usually do that, do you? It doesn't make sense. Unless ... unless he did something to upset you, didn't he?" Payne is quick to assess the situation, that's why he's in the SGC. If I were his CO, I would put 'great observation skill' in his personal file report.

" You're right. In fact, what he did is kinda related to you guys."

" Really? Why is that?"

" Do you guys remember the conversation you had with your CO before he went to tell me the bad news regarding the gizmo you brought from P65 X7Y?" That should catch their attention. They look at each other for a while.

" I don't know what you are talking about Major." Leon try to deny it, but the smug look on his face is gone now. Payne just looks really pale. I could almost let out a whistle now because I'm feeling so good and so in control.

" Are you sure Leon? Because you know I would never shove up a staff weapon into your CO's mikta, right? Or deliberately hack into main computer and strand SG5 to the planet with the blackhole? Not that I couldn't do it though." That were two of the less sadistic scenario that they came out with, I couldn't even think to bring out the others. They're just too messy.

I look at my jello, there's not much left. After dig in to my last bit, I stand up and start to leave the table. It's late, I better go back to my quarter. The two Captains are still on the table, speechless and shocked. Mixture of fear and horror are written all over their faces.

" See you guys around. Oh yeah, next time you want to talk about someone, make sure Daniel wasn't there with a tape recorder."

I start walking out and then I remember something. Might as well make them suffer a little bit more. So I stop on my track and turn toward them, smiling as innocently as possible.

" By the way, Colonel O'Neill thinks that you two have a talent to be a horror novel writer. He thinks that you are very imaginative."

I couldn't look at their faces, I know I couldn't hold my laugh for much longer if I do that. So I get out from the infirmary as soon as possible. I feel like skipping in the corridor, but then I got reputation to take care of.

I'm feeling so good until I saw a note stuck on my door and recognized it immediately that it's the Colonel's handwriting.

Carter, Meet me at 09.00 tomorrow, my office. It's about the tape.

Col. J.O'Neill

He already decided what he wants me to do. Damn, I'm so into the whole revenge Daniel, Payne and Leon thing I haven't got the time to think about the tape. I guess I have to see how tomorrow going.

*Finish*

AN: This is my first fiction and English is not my first language, so I'm sorry if there's some grammar and vocabulary errors. I haven't seen ER for a while, but I think they did have male nurse on the show. Or maybe some other hospital TV drama that I've seen. Part 3 will be mostly S/J I think. I'm still plotting the main storyline.

Please send any feedback to blue-topaz@lycos.com