Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect.
Chapter 2
I looked down at the name plate that lay in my hands, running my fingers across the name etched into it. I felt the tears slide down my face and land on to the plate. I had removed my mask, not caring about the chance of getting sick. I needed to breathe the air that he did, none of the crew had said anything when I couldn't place his name on the remembrance wall, or when I headed to the captain's quarters. It was like they somehow sensed my need to be as close to what was left of him as possible. "Stupid Bosh Tet…" I whispered, the tears bleared my vision and I could no longer make out the letters that formed his name.
How could he have gone in there alone, the image of his face as he said his final words to me, the look of hope and love, hope that I would survive, that he could stop the reapers, the love for me, was always present in my mind. How could he do that if he knew that it would separate us? I would rather die by his side than live without him. I lay down on his bed and pulled the plate closed to my chest. I turned my face into his pillow and breathed in deeply. I closed my eyes and tried to imagine him here with me. I could feel him lay down behind me and wrap his arms around me, he whispered that it would be okay, and placed a soft kiss on my temple, and than I felt nothing.
"Tali..." Edie's voice slowly came through and I opened my eyes still hazy from sleep. "Tali you are needed on the bridge." She continued. I slowly pushed myself to a sitting position and immediately regretted it. My head was pounding, I had snot slowly dripping from my nose, and my throat was soar. That's what I get for sleeping with my mask of.
"Keelah…" I brought my hand to my forehead searching for a fever. "Tali? Are you alright?" Edie's voice made my head pulsate even harder.
"Yes Edie I'm fine, I'll be right there." I said through gritted teeth. "First I need to do some decontamination." I stood and had to brace myself against the wall so I wouldn't fall. I looked around the room for my mask and found it leaning against the wall across the room. Not a very far distance but in my state it felt like it was several cliques away.
I pushed myself off the wall and made my way across the room as fast as I could. "Son of Bitch…" I finally got to the other wall and lent against it. I slid down the slowly and sat next to my mask. Reaching down I grabbed it and placed on my face. Right away it made it easier to breath, but I was just getting started.
I headed towards the nightstand, pulling the top drawer open I reached in and began to bring out the necessary supplies. I couldn't help but smile, ever since… we happened, he insisted on keeping my medical supplies in his room. He was always thoughtful like that. I looked up my eyes landing on my own face and my smiled dropped. I turned my head; the happy look on my face was so different to how I feel now, I couldn't stand to look at it. Reaching over I slammed the picture down and than started my decontamination process.
I walked out of the elevator and onto the bridge. My headache was now gone but my nose was still running and my throat was scratchy, not to mention various other ailments. As soon as I entered, the buzz of the crew was stunning. I was so down and wanted to do nothing I figured it be that way for everybody. "Tali." I turned at my name and came face to face with the Cerberus cheerleader herself.
"Miranda?" I was positive you could hear the confusion in my voice but she determined not to show it. She turned and motioned for me to follow her. I was hesitant at first but soon decided to do as she wanted.
"Miranda what are you doing here?" I asked, she held up here hand to stop me from continuing. She than turned to a crewmate who than gave her something to sign. When he left, she turned back to me, what was going on she was acting like she was the… commander.
"Tali I'm here acting as your commander, while we hunt down the remnants of Cerberus." She stated as if it was obvious. I know she couldn't see my shocked features, but Miranda was smart and quickly figured out my surprise. She grabbed my arm and dragged me to a secluded area.
"I don't… understand." The thought of a new commander, even though the old one was gon- I couldn't even bring myself to think that. This thought was startling to say the least.
"Tali, I know that your upset and I understand why. You weren't the only one who lost him." That stung as if she had slapped me herself, she continued, "But did you really think that the world would just stop without him here. It keeps going and so have we. We've been assigned by what's left of the Council to eliminate the remnants of Cerberus." The next thing that came to mind was, why had they chose Miranda to be the Commander, there was plenty of better choices for the job. Like Ashley or Garrus… why her?
Before I could ask she answered my question. "The only reason they chose me was because of the fact that I have more knowledge about Cerberus than anybody. As soon as this business is taken care of I assure you someone else will be appointed." I nodded in understanding, to stunned to speak.
"Good, now let's get to work." She walked off returning to her business and leaving me standing there lost in my own thought.
I walked into the conference room and to my place by Garrus. He looked at me and gave me a sad knowing smile. With Garrus there it made here feel a little calmer, he was the best friend I had and I knew he missed Shepard almost as much as I do. He was much better at not showing it than me, it was almost like he could have been wearing the mask.
"We suspect their hiding in these sectors here, here and here." She pointed at the areas on the map, marking them with red dots. "The plan is to send out a message that is supposed to be from Cerberus control and the Illusive man himself. We know the frequency they should be expecting any messages they would receive from him. Luckily, most people aren't aware of his death." A gasp escaped my lips before I could stop it. Apparently I had missed a lot while I was holed up in… his room.
Miranda chose to ignore my ignorance and continue with the mission specs. It seemed we would be heading for the first sector today they would be separating into groups of three and each will take out any groups of Cerberus that are still around.
"Now lets assign are teams, with me will be Commander Ashley and James." I almost couldn't stop myself from making a sound of disgust. Of course she would team herself with two humans, it seems her ties to Cerberus may have been cut, but her prejudices were still there. Garrus snickered beside me as if sensing my inner trouble. It made me want to laugh but instead tears slid down my face, I was glad for once for my mask so it could hide my weakness, the fact that Shepard wasn't there to laugh with us stopped me from doing so myself.
"Then there will be Garrus and his team of Tali and Edie." I nodded showing her I accepted my orders. "Very good we'll be there in a couple hours so I suggest you prepare." She left at that, and I turned to Garrus.
"Well isn't this a nice surprise to find you out and about." He said teasing me in only a way Garrus could. I couldn't stop my smile.
"I really wouldn't be out here if it weren't for this." I motioned my arm around the room.
"I understand, I'm just saying this might do you some good to be around people and not by yourself all the time." I sighed and turned my head watching as the last of the crew exited.
"Garrus… how…" I sighed again looking at him; he raised his eyebrow and motioned for me to continue. "How do you deal with it? I mean I see you and you seem so unaffected and… cool." He smirked at me when I said the last part, great just what I needed to feed his already oversized ego. "Oh come on Garrus I know you were close to him, you were his best friend. "
"You really what to know what I do?" I nodded emphatically, desperately needing a way to deal with this, this pain. "Are you sure?"
"Garrus?" I snapped I was in no mood for more games.
"Alright, alright, if you have to know, I just don't think about it." That's it wanted to yell and as if he knew my thought he continued. "Yes that's it, I throw myself into work, there's a lot of that to be done. And than when there is no more work left, that's when I turn to the bar."
"The bar? As in you get drunk?" I asked skeptically.
"Yep." His answer was short and to the point. "Well now that I've answered your question, I better go prepare" He did air quotations when he said the word prepare, telling me what I already knew, he was always prepared. He left after that.
Deciding to take his advice I reluctantly left the room and walked across the bridge and waited for the door to the cockpit to open. I continued down the hall till I came to Joker's seat. "Look Miranda I know where were going, you don't have to tell me again. God you act like I'm a two year ol- Tali?" He said as he turned around to find me there.
"Oh… Hey I wasn't ah… I wasn't expecting… hey, how are you doing?" This was going to be harder than I thought, Joker was acting like I was some fragile minded child… am I though? The thought popped into my head and I immediately pushed it away. No I am strong, I can do this.
"I'm doing… fine, how are you Joker?" I asked my voice only quavered on fine but I don't think he noticed.
"Good, um good. Well um, is there anything I can do for you?" Great just what I needed Joker the laziest guy on Normandy offering to do something for me I must look as pathetic as I feel.
"No, no I was just coming to say hi to you an Edie," I turned to where Edie sat, "Hi Edie, well um I have to go… prepare, bye." I turned to leave.
"Hey Tali, everything will get bettered sooner or later, um well you'll never feel quite the same but… um well you know." That was Joker's idea of comfort, if I wasn't so depressed I probably would have had a sarcastic comeback for him.
Instead I said, "Thank you, Joker." Then I left, when I walked down the corridor, I could here them talking in hushed tones.
"I know I know Edie but what else could I say?"
"Jeff you should have tried to comfort her more, that is the respectable response to grief in this culture." Edie answered.
"Jeez Edie how was I supposed to do that, can't you see she's a mess." When the door shut behind me all I could hear was the buzz of the crew doing there duties. With there words still ringing in my ears I decided to try Garrus's other advice and headed to the only place I could keep myself busy, the engine room.
I walked out of the building I was told to rest in, in a new set of N7armor and my wounds all taken care of, into the fray of craziness that was London. I kept going, stepping over rubble here and wounded refugee there, I again thought what I did when I finally got back to earth. This place looks like hell.
Finally reaching my destination, I came to stop in front of the base of the only military left on the whole planet. "Identify yourself." Ordered the soldier keeping guard, he was Turian and quite short which was odd for them.
"Commander Shepard." The shock on his face was not surprising, after all most of everybody thought I was dead. He than turned and talked in a hush tone to someone in his ear com, no doubt it was Major Coats, from the way the voice coming from the ear com sounded.
"Yes sir, I understand sir… Yes sir I'll send him… yes sir I'm sorry for wasting your time…" The ear com than cut out, I tried to stop the chuckle and failed, than I tried to cover it up with a cough. "You can go in." He glared at me as he stepped aside to let me in.
As soon as I was inside I saw Coats near the corner of the only room in this building that wasn't rubble. There was only at most 50 soldiers all of different race, it should have surprised me that they were all willing to serve under a human, the youngest of all the races. But I guess the "end" of the world can cause crazier things. "Shepard" Coats voice broke me from my thoughts.
"Coats," I came to where he was standing. "How are things going here?" I wanted to know right away how they were planning to go about gathering all refugees and beginning reconstruction.
"Not great, but it could be worse. We've been sending out extraction teams looking for survivors." He brought up a new map. "We've found a little over a thousand in London and the surrounding areas, we've been taking them to any building still left standing, but our supplies won't last forever. As for the rest of the world, we haven't received any messages or S.O.S. from anyone. When things are more stable here, will try and send out some reconnaissance. Until than will take care of are people here, while we start reconstruction."
I listened intently, paying attention to every detail. "It sounds like you have things under control for now, how much longer do you think the supplies will last?" He thought a minute before answering me.
"A month maybe two." His answer was not the one I wanted. "Will have to get help from off planet, have we had any contact with anybody?"
The frown lines on his face deepened as he answered. "Some from the Turians and even the Kroegans, but no one else." That isn't good, they must be having almost if not as bad as us.
"Nothing from the Asari or Salarians?" I knew the Asari home world was hell, but the fact that the Celarians stayed out of the war for the most part made me think they would be better off than most.
"The Asari, haven't uttered a peep, and the Salarians aren't answering anything on their part." I sighed, I knew the Salarians were too happy with the resistance since I decided not to keep the genophage intact, but this was a little extreme. We all need to work together at this time.
"Well as soon I can get back to the Normandy I can go there myself and make them help." There was a sharp intake of breath next to me, causing me to look to see a strained look on Coats' face. "What's wrong?"
"Shepard, we haven't been able to make contact with the Normandy. Even if we had you can't leave your needed here." I felt a frown crease my face, and I waited a moment to gather my thought before I answered.
"If I went back to the Normandy, I would be able to help Earth more than I ever could here." I challenged him to prove me wrong. He shook his head as I spoke.
"Shepard, I can't allow you to go, you're a Hero, you being here would keep hope in the refugees and the soldiers, cause them to want to work harder to rebuild, they need you here."
"My crew needs me." I stated this as firmly as possible without sounding threatening. Tali needs me, I wanted to add, but thought better of it knowing it wouldn't help my argument. The fact that Tali was on the Normandy is the main reason I want to go back, but not the only one, my crew was also on the list.
"Shepard…"
"No," I stopped him before he could continue. "I am going back, I'm not under your command anyway, I report to only the Alliance command, and if I seem to remember that you were under mine."
"As far as we know I'm all that's left of Alliance, so you do take orders from me, your new Admiral, so you'll be staying." I stepped closer knowing I looked intimidating, I had defied Alliance before, there was know doubt in my mind I would do it again.
"I-"
"Shepard!" The familiar voice boomed at me from across the room, I spun on my heels, my lips turning up in a smile.
"Wrex!? Your alive?" I went forward to meet him half way.
"Ha ha I should be asking you that, the news around is your dead!" He immediately crushed me in a massive bear hug, that made my feet leave the ground and the air escape my lungs.
"It's good to see you alive to, but if you don't stop I may not be much longer." He dropped me to my feet and took a step back, barking a laugh as he did so.
"I know you're tougher than that Shepard, after all you're an honorary Kroegan, and we don't die that easy." I chuckled at his answer, placed a hand on his shoulder shoving him gently, well enough to nudge him.
"I guess your right." I would have wondered why they didn't put Rex in charge seeing as how he was technically of higher rank than Coats, but Wrex just didn't seem to have what it takes to handle reconstruction, he was a warrior plain and simple, and speaking of Coats… I looked back at him and gave him a look that said we would finish our conversation at another time, it was not over. Turning back to Wrex I followed him to the remnants of his Kroegan force.
A.N. Well I finally got the next chapter out, I know it been a long time, but I hope you enjoy it. Review if you liked it.
