One - Meanwhile, in Northern Mirkwood . . .
Legolas: What's that, Gollum? You want to go climb your tree again. Right. What is it with you and trees, anyway? Well, I guess no harm can come of it. Just don't get into any trouble, you hear me? Gollum? Gollum! Oh, bollocks. Galdir and Hallas, go watch him, will you? I don't know WHAT my father will say! *brood, brood*
[Suddenly the shrieking cries of a small army of orcs are heard through the trees.]
Legolas and the Elves of Mirkwood: *twang**thwack* *pffftpfffft* Aiyeee!!!!!
Orcs: Argh!! *bleedbleed**diedie*
[After an hour or so, the orcs are beaten off.]
Legolas: Gollum? Hey, Smeagol, the orcs are gone, you can come out of your tree now! Smeagol! Hey, Mr. Smeagol! Galdir, Hallas, where have you gotten to?
Tree: *silence*
Legolas: Gollum, you twerp, what's the matter with you?!!!
Tree: *more silence*
Legolas: Oh, shit.
***
Two - Approaching Rivendell
Legolas galloped bareback (the horses' back is bare, not Legolas', you pervy elf-fancier!) through the trees, searching for a sign that he was approaching the Last Homely House. The House of Elrond. The anticipation of seeing Rivendell again spurred him on more urgently than the message he carried. He had never fully understood why Mithrandir had charged his father's people with the care of that wretched twerp, Gollum. Even so, he was not looking forward to telling the kindly yet powerful wizard that their captive had escaped.
Legolas' thick black hair (or was it brown? or blond?) streamed behind him in the wind without disturbing a single strand from his perfect plait. He thumped the stirrups against his horses' flanks . . .
Hey, wasn't I riding bareback just a second ago?
. . . as the Valley of Rivendell appeared suddenly through the trees ahead of him. He reined his horse . . .
Now I've got reins, too?!
. . . to a halt, staring in wonder at the magnificent miniature set - I mean ancient elven home - that lay before him.
He pulled his long white knife from his belt and, dismounting quietly, crept aside as a plump white rabbit hopped out of a nearby shrub. Moving too quickly for mortal eyes to catch, he whipped the knife back and forward. As it flashed through the air towards the coney, he thought he glimpsed a bit of gold.
Gold?
He trotted, satisfied, towards his catch. Grabbing the coney by the ears, he grasped the golden handle of the long knife and pulled it out, wiping it clean on the grass. As he started to resheathe it, he stopped, freezing in shock, as he realized his belt sheath was suddenly missing. Instinctively Legolas felt at his back and found there not only the empty sheath, but next to it a second knife in its own sheath. Pulling the other knife out, he stared at his two new golden weapons, admiring the lovely elven scrollwork on the blades.
Ah. Peter Jackson's costume department has been fiddling with my props again. I've really got to talk to those people. Hey, *shrug* two knives are better than one, right?
Sweeping his hair aside (it was definitely blond, now), he resheathed the two knives on his back and carried the dead rabbit, a traditional guest gift for Lord Elrond, back to his horse. He remounted (the saddle was still there, unfortunately) and trotted on towards Rivendell. As he went on, he pondered again.
I'm just wondering one thing. Where did these boots come from?
