Damaged
Disc: I don't own Harry Potter.
…
There is always a wicked secret/
A private reason for this./
Bellatrix Black
I turned sixteen on a Friday. Friday April 13th. I didn't expect a soul to wish me a Happy Birthday, no one knew except my excuse for a sister Narcissa, and her excuse for a "boyfriend" Lucius. And they were only thirteen, they wouldn't remember nor would they care.
I left the girls dormitory room in my robes, on my way out to breakfast. I made the decision that this day would be like all others. Rodolphus and Rastaban Lestrange would be irritating and frustrating, Amycus Carrow would whine and complain about everything and Tom Riddle… Tom would ignore us all and study alone in the library. If only I had that peace and quiet.
I saw Ciss and Lucius playing Wizard's Chess on Slytherin's common room table, and Greg Goyle attempting to decipher an ancient runes assignment. There was also Rodolphus, indicating an empty seat beside him. I knew that he loved me, but I couldn't return the sentiment. My love was directed at the idea of perfection and power; I didn't have time to spend on Rodolphus's round face and sweaty palms.
However, I began to walk towards the spot. I had nothing else to do. Then, a pale hand in a black robe intercepted me. "Happy Birthday, Bellatrix." He whispered to me, a glint in his eyes, and an uncanny innocence on his face. "I hope it's a good one." With that, he walked away and left me, dazed.
I had only spoken to Tom Riddle twice before. His silence and his air of charm were frightening to me, as I couldn't understand where his force was coming from. Certainly not his soft eyes or his kind words. I did not understand him, and he held a power over me that I could not explain as a child. All I knew was that he was a special kind of person, in a league far from the Lestranges.
"Thanks." I whispered in his absense, amazed that he knew that it was my birthday.
I was easily flustered as a young girl. I was strong, but I didn't like to be blind sighted like that. I did not like surprises, and I preferred being in charge of every situation, for in spontaneity lay my weakness. As time went on, I lost my innocence and I gained a hardened shell that was never surprised, but part of me stayed the sixteen-year-old girl, breathless by her first real encounter with Tom Riddle.
I was happy for the rest of the day. I received gifts from my parents, a long black cloak and various books, but nothing was as important to me than the run in with Tom.
The thing about Tom was that no one knew who he was. He didn't open up to anyone and he didn't share his secrets. We didn't know who his friends were and we didn't know where he came from. As a teenaged girl in the middle of adolescent feelings, I thought I could reach him. Maybe the birthday greeting had been permission for me to get to know him. That's what I kept telling myself throughout the day.
After dinner, I walked with Amycus and Rabastan back to the common room. Rodolphus was nowhere to be found, probably trying to sneak another love potion into my room. At once I saw Tom. He was sitting in one of the couches near the fire, no one else would approach him, the other couches were empty.
Naturally I approached him.
He didn't look up as I sat; he simply sat and continued staring into the fire. I sat in silence, flipping through one of my birthday books. It was a long while before he broke the silence with a light cough.
"Hello Bellatrix. Nice Evening." Yes, it was.
"Indeed."
"How was your birthday? Enjoyable?" He was looking at me now. I didn't want to turn my head, but some inexplicable attraction forced me to look back at him, into his eyes.
"Very much so." His eyes never strayed from mine; he didn't blink. "Tom, how did you know that it was my birthday today?" I couldn't believe that the words were coming from my mouth. I hadn't meant to say that, it just kind of slipped out; his eyes were doing dangerous things to my defenses.
"I'm sure you mentioned it to me." Tom was deliberate, so sure of his statement.
"No." I promised. "We've only spoken twice before. I've never told you about my birthday."
"Well I don't know, Bellatrix." Tom smiled; he looked sheepish. However, his eyes never strayed from mine. "I must have just heard about it."
I didn't believe him for a second, but something about him removed all the doubts in my head. I smiled and nodded vaguely.
"Well. If you say so…" I got up to go.
"Bella."
I stopped in my tracks. No one called me Bella except Narcissa and my grandmother. The way he said it was more of a melody than a word. I sat back down in the couch and waited.
"Yes?"
"Please don't think me too forward, but I notice what you have put up with. The Lestranges and Amycus and especially Goyle. I want you to know that if you should ever get …bored… of their less than satisfactory company, I wouldn't mind some company of my own." I couldn't believe that I was being asked by Tom Riddle to be his company. His friend.
"Thank you." I smiled, slightly surprised, and got up. "Goodnight Tom."
"Goodnight Bella." He turned back to the fire.
What I didn't realize at the time was that I had just agreed to the most abusive relationship that I would ever experience. I went to sleep that night with a smile on my face and positive thoughts in my head, not considering for a second that the boy who confused us all would soon become a part of me.
