Hello again, it's been along time. At first I really didn't think anyone remembered this little story, so I kind of just pushed it away from this somewhat invisible list. I was going to continue this story, and that I am, but first things first I want to apologize for my lack of update. Here we have it chapter one! Enjoy everyone and please leave me a little something when you're done.

Disclaimer- Can be found in pro.

Rated- Pg-13

A Change

Chapter 1- Denial

Summary- Usagi can't take the fact that everything was all lie, so for one last time before she—changes. Usagi will leave for one last visit to her friends and her lover as her true self…

Reminder- Everything will be in Usagi's point of view—

……………………………

I'm such a sap at times it unbearable, shameful even. I could understand right then why they all left me, but I really didn't want to prove myself just yet. "Wipe the tears away," I would always whisper out, but sometimes it's better to have a reminder of what happened. I could hear my laughter echoing through the quiet streets. Was it all sham? A well thought out plan made to lift my spirits, and then send them crashing down? Did they like to see me cry?

It had been about twenty minutes after my nervous breakdown, twenty minutes after my brief flashes filled with lies. I was headed down a road to friend number one. I really wanted to know what they all thought. I really wanted to know— The first person on my list is my oldest friend, Rei Hino. Up the shrine steps I went, each step I took tugged hard at my heart. I felt as if I was doing the wrong thing. I felt as if this was it…

My eyes peered over the last step trying to take a small peak at what was before me. I could picture it all out right at this instant, and then I saw her. She was humming a tune, totally oblivious to world around her. Her long raven locks were lifted in the winds growing grace, eyes of blue that tinted a dark shade of purple. A broom in hand as she did her chores, sweeping the marble stones clean, not single thought of this blonde slob walking towards her.

"Hello Rei."

My voice seemed to echo out into life's nameless place. She stood there and continued to hum, her eyes peered over at me and for the first time I saw her truly angry, with what? With me. I was caught between her glare and what was to come—

"Usagi…"

She sneered out my name as if it were that hard to speck of. What did I do?

"What are you doing here?"

"I-I…"

The broom dropped as she made her way angrily towards me. I was facing her head up. I mean this was what I came to do…wasn't it? "You're not really the person I wanted to see right now Usagi." That comment surely struck me at the heart, and still all I could say was 'I'. How pathetic is that!

"Would you shut up!"

I wanted to scream out 'no', I wanted to say things, I wanted to ask why; but did you know what I did? I listened to her, I shut myself up…I was no longer in a stuttering relapse, but instead deadly quiet.

"You really have the nerve to show your face up here. I tried to be your friend Usagi, but can't you take even the slightest hint?"

My mind screamed out, 'What?' What ever happened next was all a blur. Before I knew it I was in tears. I ran away. I always run away. The reason was I was always weak. I didn't know where exactly I was running to, but it was better then where I once was. Maybe the heavens above was plotting against me, because what happened next was even worse.

There voices merged in with their light laughter. I stopped and listened. It's not very nice to listen in, but I had the right didn't I? I mean, they were talking about me here.

"She's such an idiot at times."

"At times? I think your mistaken hun, you mean always."

"Sometimes I swear I can't even stand being around her, I mean its nice to smell nice but whatever she puts on--"

"Oh I know!"

"There are rumors going around that the only reason Mamoru is going out with her is--"

"What?"

I listened quietly choking in my tears.

"You know…"

"No I don't."

"Oh I swear that you're just as stupid as she is sometimes!"

"Hey!"

Whatever Minako wasn't getting, I wasn't getting either; but then suddenly her blues eyes went wide in realization.

"Usagi?"

"Who told you this?"

"Rei of course heard it from some dude in gym, and it's all over the place really…"

"Well, it sure does explain a lot."

"Yeah, sure does. I mean who would possibly date Usagi if she could keep her legs closed."

"…But Mamoru?"

"Boys will be boys."

They thought that I?! I wasn't sad. I wasn't torn at what they thought. I was bloody ANGRY! I might not be the smartest, or the best looking, but I do have my dignity! Is that what they all thought? Is that why that jerk dated me! Is that what he told them! No…Mamoru wouldn't do that. He wouldn't dare.

Wiping away the remaining tears I headed for Mamoru's; for an answer—

I saw red right then, I wanted to ring his neck! In about ten minutes I was knocking on his front door, waiting for an answer. My foot was tapping against the wooden floor. I've been up here so many times to count, for one odd reason or another, but this time it was different. The door creaked open and I face to face with a-a red head?

I stared at her for a moment as she waved her little hello. Long curly strands of red adorn her pale face, eyes of a light blue that sparkled in amusement. Was I at the right apartment. I took a glance at the number and as sure as day it was 4B, Mamoru's. I looked at her in a confused manner as I spoke.

"Is eh…Mamoru home?"

Giggling in the most annoying voice she stepped out of the way to let me in. It was the same as always. Neatness to perfection was always a quality that Mamoru lived up to, as well as buff-ness. Was that even a criteria? Wait a moment…aren't I angry with him! I think I'm going insane! I can't even think right—and if the heavens really hated me Mamoru stepping out was a sure proof.

I didn't gawk. I didn't come to gawk, but here I was gawking. Did that even make sense!?

"Usagi…"

I looked at him and then back at the giggling buffoon to my right. I had interrupted something, and I was glad. Grinning slightly I shook my head and just continued to stare. I greeted him with a small hello in the kindest and sweetest voice that I could possibly muster. I was sure that I was turning his head in so many directions that it was about to burst.

We were somewhat still together. The little incident was just a mere fight between he and I, so he should be worried. I bet he expected me to burst out into tears, and scream out 'why'! Or better yet beat the living daylights out of him. That was give me nothing but pure satisfaction, but I didn't want that…at least not yet. I knew he didn't love me, but I still wanted to know why he dated me, or why he's about the leave me…

"Could you leave us alone for a minute Gami?"

I watched silently as she walked gracefully up to his side and pecked him on the lips before she headed back into the bedroom. It was as if she was marking off her territory. I wanted to kill her right then, I didn't know if it was jealousy or anger that powered my drive, but I knew that I wanted something.

"I didn't want you to find out like this."

His voice was soft, soothing, and everything that I could possibly want, but he wasn't mine anymore—isn't mine. Letting out a small sigh I turned away from his gaze. It was just something about him that simply drew me to him. I thought he was different. I thought of him as my everything. I refuse to cry. I refuse to cry.

"I'm sorry."

He was sorry, maybe the only one. Was it the fact that he didn't find me interesting anymore? Was it the fact that I didn't…I didn't—

All I could say was: "I know."

What kind of stupid reply was that! I didn't know why, but I didn't exactly hate him right then. I also didn't exactly like him either, but that should already be known. He did sound as if he was really sorry—

Before I knew it I was in his arms again. I was stiff at first, but then relaxed in his embrace.

(Flashback)

"Do you love me?" She asked again.

His head nodded as he gently wrapped his arms warmly around her. His head lowered so his lips kissed her left ear. She let out a laugh, it was music to his ears. "Always…"

(End of Flashback)

My eyes shot open as his words echoed in my mind. 'Always' he told me, always. It hurt to even think of those memories, but it was nice to be in his arms again. Just for a moment I made a deal with myself. This was the last time, I hoped. He was perfect just the way he was, black disheveled hair, eyes of midnight blue. Tall, lean, muscular, kind, smart, I could go on for days.

"Just for a moment."

I whispered out to myself. It seemed as if he heard, and he understood. His arms tighten around me, and I was in heaven.

I could smell him. I wanted to breath him. I felt him. I loved him—

"Just for a moment."

I whispered out again.

Our little one time thing was interrupted as the red haired slut walked out. She looked quite angry to find me in his arms. It was completely innocent, although I wish it wasn't.

"Mamoru…"

Her lips formed that pout, and that was where he broke.

I left them alone after that. I didn't need the girls. I didn't need Mamoru, but before I left I could hear her faintly say: "…she wasn't your type…"

That! That! That wrench! That witch! He might have been a bastard, but he was my bloody bastard! I wasn't speaking logic at the moment. I didn't even know what I was doing, but I envious of that girl in his arms.

"…she wasn't your type…"

I made my way out towards the lobby, and sure enough her words were trapped in my mind. This was the last day that Usagi Tsukino would ever shed a tear! This was the last day that Usagi Tsukino would ever be consider weak, a fool, and or unworthy. I was going to get Mamoru back. I was going to make the girls pay. I was going to—

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Ok well, I'm done. Chapter one is officially done. Do tell me what you think.


Questions

Nova- I am so sorry, it was just the fact that it was so bad. I knew that I could do better. Forgive me? I do hope that you like this, I really do. Please continue to read, and I promise you, you will see the ending to this one.

DreamEnchanter- Very good guesses, but I can't tell you a single thing. My lips are sealed. I hope that you liked this chapter!

Silver Moonlight-81- I really don't know as of yet. It depends on what turn this story is taking. I'm sorry if I'm not much help, but you should know soon enough. I hope that you liked it.

Ysienay- You are amazing. It seems that I can always get a smile reading one of your reviews. I feel so special! I hope you like it!


A/N- There really isn't much to say, expect I'm sorry, but if there are reviews for this story I will surely continue to write. I hope that you all like it. I'm sorry about the lack of indentations...fanfic wouldn't let me do them!


Chapter 2- Not Me

Summary- She said she was determined to do this, but how determined? Changing who you are isn't easy, but with everything that's happened…who could blame her? "If you won't love me for me, then please let me love you…"

Leave me something!

Ja Ne!