Hmm, well, this was supposed to be an oneshot, but I'm under the word requirement (for those of you who know) soo… belated Valentine's Day? Yeah, really, really belated.

Jellal was nervo—wait, scratch that. He was downright terrified, and would have been showing it too if he hadn't known (from many painful lessons) that the source of his terror would pounce on any weaknesses. Too bad the source of his terror was also the source of his happiness: his girlfriend (official now as of the last four years, and unofficial for another half-year prior), Erza Scarlet.

Said girlfriend was now having finished dinner, and waiting for her revered strawberry cake. She waited with slight trepidation, for it was that awesome wonder, a concoction of fluffy butter cream and fresh strawberries, perfectly tart, melting in the chiffon and silk shortcake, each bite dancing on her tongue ever so delightfully. Normally, she wasn't one to share her treasure, but in Jellal's case… he just looked so cute and awkwardly adorable eating it!

Erza, continuing on with her fantasies of her two loves, strawberry shortcake and Jellal, was oblivious to the tension of the man next to her. You see, dear Reader, there are certain facts one must know before continuing.

Number one: He loved her, and she him.

Number two: It was a romantic anniversary dinner. Completely cliché. After all, he was a gentleman…

Number three: Certain matchmaker guild members had coerced him, under influence of intoxication, into a jewelry store, where he acquired a very interesting possession.

Number four: Said acquisition was currently decorating the top of the cake, hidden under a large silver dinner platter cover.

Number five: That platter was coming entirely too fast for his sanity…

Twenty more feet… What if—no! no what-if's. If I think too much, I won't be able to do it. Breathe. Okay, I can say five words. Just five words…

And so, it was under these conditions that the planned proposal of Jellal Fernandes to Erza Scarlet, with both parties unaware, was about to go out-the-window, into stratosphere, onwards towards infinity, and in all other senses 100% horribly wrong. Or in the case of the aforementioned meddling matchmakers, 100% romantically perfect.

~Operation G. L. O. M. P!~

Get Lovebirds Onto Marriage, Pronto!

Objective: Get Jellal to propose to Erza in a suitably romantic way. Permission to use bodily harm. Memorize and destroy.

Equipment:

1 barrel of Concentrated Fire Sake

1 candid photo album of Erza throughout her adolescence, beach edition

1 magical copier

1 restaurant reservation

2 strawberry shortcakes (just in case)

1 waterproof, Erza-proof, Jellal-proof, and-everything-else-we-can-think-of-proof camera

Wax

Sneaky nin-nin skills (lots of it)

~the operation plan, as remains after attempted disintegration~

The waitress, beaming, carried the ominous platter closer and closer, right up to the table, slowly, slowly lifting the cover, upon which was fixated the obsessive attention of two people, bowing slightly as she lifted the cover slightly more, simultaneously stepping back and onto the toes of another waitress. Slipping, the entire platter spun out of her hands, leaping up with two frantic pairs of hands reaching out in slow motion as it twisted, just out of their range skidding at speeds that should've been impossible for any other cake-platter-gone-rogue, but this was a wax-enhanced-cake-platter-gone-rogue, and so it slammed to stop against the windowsill, teetering on the edge for a breathtaking moment…

…and then it flipped over, end over end, with desperation quickly following on what seemed a million miles long fall to the neighboring luxury resort's pool that twisted and enhanced the words from his mouth.

"NOOOO, NOT THE CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!"

And behind him, "Jeellllaaaallll!"

And, SPLASH! He clawed the water frantically for a trace of hard, glittering metal through the water-logged imploded cake, with Erza tugging at him, because she was going to beat the heck out of him, when he finally regained what was left of his sanity, finally, finally, swimming for the deck.

She opened her mouth to scold, when she saw how hard he was breathing, the desperation on his face, and how ridiculously wet both of them were, and almost sighed.

Instead, he tilted her chin up with one hand, the other caressing her hand gently, and his eyes, so, so dark and impossibly soft, and he was so close and warm and Jellal, that she almost missed IT.

Erza Scarlet, will you marry me?

Caramel eyes widened, softened, brimmed over with tears.

Yes.

And right there, dripping wet, legs still half-dangling in the pool, she reached up a little more, kissing him as he slipped the ring she just now noticed onto her finger.

~in the restaurant~

The waitress who had been serving the cake suddenly popped into a cloud of smoke, revealing two identical doll-esque creatures. Their master and her cohorts grinned, looking through the photos they had captured.

"Officially engaged. Mission complete. Now, where'd we put that copier again? And remind me, how much time do we have to print and distribute?"