A/N: hey guys I got great feed back in this story…stats are looking you …special thanks to my beta my-bella …here ya go enjoy and review

"Come on Alice!" We were packed and ready to leave. I decided that I would keep Charlie's house in Forks while I was away at collage. Esme said she would keep it up while I was gone so I wouldn't have to sell it. I was glad Esme
did this. It saved me a lot of worry.

Alice and I were going to Dartmouth in New Hampshire. Edward and Jasper were going to join Rosalie and Emmett at Yale up in Connecticut to study
Architecture.

In the Cullen's driveway, there was a small moving van carrying Edward and
Jasper's things. There was another small moving van parked where Charlie's
cruiser used to sit, holding all of Alice's and my own things.

We had spent 48 hours straight packing to head up to Hanover and I was really
tired of waiting for Alice. I said my long goodbyes beforehand and she was
still saying goodbye to Jasper.

"Jasper, darling! I'll miss you so much. I love you and never forget
that!" She was forcing herself to keep walking to the van. I could see the
tears building up in her big brown eyes. I knew she would break down after being so close to Jazz for all her life then just going away for long lengths of time. I felt really bad for her and even worse for myself for acting so childish for not admitting my feelings for Edward when he told me about his for me.

Flash back:
The wind was whipping around my face causing the tears to stream down on to
my shirt. I was really sad about leaving everyone and my parents behind, and
Edward was there to witness it. He saw my tears and he came and held me in
an embrace. I clung on to him for dear life.

"Bella, it's ok. We all want you to live your life. I know you miss
Charlie, but he is ok. Just let him go, Bella. He will always be a part of you."

"I don't think I can, Edward. It's so hard. And I'm going to miss how we would hang out and go to school and then just see each other whenever we wanted to," I said between sobs.

"Oh, Bella! I'm really going to miss you, more than you could possibly know."

"What do you mean?"

"I love you Bella … more than I have the right to."

I loved him too. I just didn't think it was possible for him to feel the same. I couldn't comprehend it. I just started crying harder than before
because my time with him was gone like that … before I even got a chance to
be with him. My head was spinning and before I knew it, I lost my legs and he
was holding me up. Right then, I lost all consciousness; I was out, game over.
End of flash back:

I woke up the next morning in my bed and then started packing relentlessly. I packed all the new clothes Alice bought me and all my old ones she hadn't done away with yet. I was disappointed and now that we are going to different collages there was absolutely nothing I could do. I felt helpless.

Alice opened the van door and hastily climbed in, bringing me back from my sad reverie. She was distant and hurting. I stared out the windshield and started the engine. I wanted to get out of the place that caused so much hurt and yet so much joy in recent years. I waved goodbye to all the Cullen's that were gathered in the yard. They all waved back. I looked at each of their beautiful faces - Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, Esme, Carlisle, and finally Edward - memorizing their features as if I would never see them again. Then I sped off, not looking back.

As we hit the outer limits of Forks, Alice looked at me, still fighting back
her tears. "Bella, please say something."

I was now fighting back tears too. It hurt me to see her like this.

"What do you want me to say, Aly?" My voice was uneven.

"Say anything to keep me from this silence that surrenders me to my mind."

"I love you."

That broke her.

"Oh, god Bella! I love him so much." She cried, the tears coming faster and faster.

I pulled over because I could no longer see. I blinked out the tears in my
own eyes. I pulled Alice into my side and we started crying together.

"Bella, it hurts so badly! Make it stop! I feel like I can't breathe anymore!" She was sobbing so hard that my whole body was shaking. Realization washed over me. I was crying! I don't know whether it was empathy or something else, but I sure was crying.

"Aly, baby, don't do this. Please! I can't stand to see you like this. I know it hurts, but I'm sure you will see him when we go home for breaks. Aly, I…I…ca-"

She interrupted me between sobs.

"Bella, what if when we get out of collage he still doesn't want me the way I want him? What if he meets someone who is better than me? What if we never…"

My voice was still shaky when I spoke again.

"Aly, he loves you and you have to trust that. Okay?"

She looked at me and gave me a weary smile. "You're right. I have no reason not to trust him. He loves me … I love him … and we will be together some day." She sat up and looked out the windshield, still sniffling and wiping the
fallen tears away.

"It's getting late. We should go to a hotel tonight and rest up, get some food then start off in the morning. If we leave early enough, we can get to our new house then get registered for classes and still have time to unpack. And Bella, thank you so much for letting me be a big baby."

"You're not a baby, Alice. You're human."

She smiled at that. "Thanks for letting me be human!"

"Anytime, Aly Anytime."

The engine roared to life and we pushed forward in our journey to New Hampshire.

"Alice?"

"Yeah?"

"Alice, I love ……I think I …"

"Bella, spit it out!"

"IloveEdward" I said it extremely fast, hoping she wouldn't catch it
or ask me to repeat it.

A few minutes passed in a substantially thick silence and then she shifted in
her seat and said, "Isabella Marie Swan ... ARE YOU TELLING ME YOU ARE IN
LOVE WITH MY VERY OWN BROTHER AND YOU DIDN'T UTTER SO MUCH AS A WORD ABOUT IT TO YOUR BESTFRIEND? NO! YOU'RE SISTER!"

Damn, she caught it…

"No, Alice. I'm saying I was in love with him."

"What do you mean 'was'?

"It means I'm not in love with him any more. I just can't be."

"And why the hell not?"

"Because it's over. Normalcy is over. I won't see him for months at a time. There's no way that I can be happy."

"Isabella, I don't believe you! I was just crying my eyes out because I love Jasper and I won't be able to see him for months and even then it will be only for days, and even at that I still have to divide my time between him and the rest of my family ... and then you tell me this and say it's impossible to be happy this way! Do you know what that does to my faith in a future with Jasper?"

"Alice, it's different for you because you and Jazz have something
already. But for me and Edward, he just confessed his love for me and then I
passed out and said nothing more about it. There is no way in hell that he is going to sit around for four years and wait for me."

"Bella, you are worth waiting for. Just call him! E-mail him! Write
letters! Just don't sit there and let it all go to waste. Hun, time is too
precious for that … trust me, I know."

"Alright, Alice. I'll try to work something out. But for now, just be
patient about this. It's not easy for me, dealing with every emotion I have
ever felt in my entire life flashing before me over the last few days."

"I know, Bella, but we have to be strong. No matter what happens over the
next four years. Deal?"

"Deal!"

When we arrived at our house three days later, we were ecstatic … that was the only word that fit … our fabulous new home that Esme had decorated for us was amazing. Downstairs, past the front door, there was an open space that served as the living room and had new furniture from Esme's warehouse. Through the living room, there was a dining room with a small window just above the square table with seating for two. Through the small dining room, there was a beautiful kitchen. There was a long island in the center with eight bar stools around it and drop lights above it. The stove was far back against the south wall and farther to the left was the stainless steel refrigerator. Walking back through the kitchen to the dining room, through the living room, there was a staircase. Under the staircase was a door that led to the half bathroom. The upstairs had two bedrooms. There were originally three, but Esme had a wall torn out so that there was just one huge master bedroom that Alice and I would share. Then there was a mid sized guest bedroom that was there if we were to ever have visitors, and three and a half bathrooms.
Alice and I each had our own bathrooms on either side of the huge master bathroom that we shared.

"Alice, please remind me to thank Esme for this! It's amazing!"

"Yeah! She is really great at this. Hey, let's finish unloading the van and then we can order out for dinner since our refrigerator isn't stocked
yet."

"Mam! Yes, Mam!" I said as I gave her a salute.

She burst into a fit of giggles. "Belly, you are a true comedian!"