I woke up around 6am on top of and holding him, much to my surprise. I squinted up at him from underneath the bed sheets, lying on his shirt-less chest, confused. I de-tangled my body from his and quietly got out of his bed, to find myself only wearing my boxers. My face flushed at the embarrassment and strangeness of it all, why was I half naked in Charlie's bedroom? I grimaced, sucking in air quickly. A sharp pain coming from my stomach felt like I'd just been hit by lightning and I clutched the bottom of the bed. It wasn't enough to support me. I fell to the ground with a thud, instantly waking Charlie. He jumped out, flung the covers halfway across the room and ran to my side.

"Alex! Alex, tell me-tell me you're okay! Please! Alex!" he shouted, and kneeled down beside me, taking hold of my hand and resting my head in his knees.

I forced my eyes open to look into his. He looked so worried, and I was sure I could see his that his eyes were glazed with tears. I smiled and squeezed his hand.

"Yeah. I'm fine….I'll be fine…."

He made me a cup of tea and had tucked me in amongst the duvet and sheets, I was still in his bedroom though, it hurt quite a lot to move. He was downstairs right now, making me some breakfast. He was the perfect friend and the perfect doctor. I still had no idea why I had spent the night with him, the last memory I had was walking home drunk when…..god…I remembered why my stomach hurt so much….

"Feeling any better?" he asked from my side.

I looked up at him, half asleep. I'd nodded off after he'd fed me a bacon sandwich.

"I am, sure, thank you for-thanks-thanks for everything…I appreciate it, I really do" I stammered my way through the sentence.

I couldn't look at him, I was too afraid of bursting into tears, though I was still on the brink of crying any second.

"Yeah well…It's what best friends are for…" he replied.

There was an awkward silence.

"Alex?"

"Yeah?"

I knew he was hesitating.

"I want to know…I want to know why you're covered in scratches and bruises…"

I gulped.

"I dunno. I-uh-I guess I must of fallen down a lot on the way home. Like you said, there was no one with me.."

"I don't know for sure if someone took you home, I just know that you came inside alone. That this isn't the first time it's happened…"

'It is the first, and it was probably an accident down to my drunken clumsiness!"

"No, Alex, it's not. You've been coming home for months after getting drunk, looking like you've been beaten up! I know you can remember what happened, but you have to tell me what happened so I can help you! That's all I want to do Alex! Help you! Let me try, please, you've got to let me try!" his voice broke down nearer the end of the sentence and he was crying.

I took a deep, jagged breath.

"I don't know what happens".

I quickly regretted saying it. I was lying to the boy I secretly loved, though it might not be a secret anymore. I just couldn't remember.

He forced me to face him, but I couldn't look him in the eyes.

"You do, Alex, you do. The only way you'll stop getting hurt is if you tell me the truth".

I sighed. It wouldn't stop me from getting hurt, but how was Charlie to know? I had to tell him.

"Okay."

I shuffled next to him despite the pain, and he rested his head on my shoulder. It felt perfect.

"Charlie, I'm gay. I'm gay and because of this I've been getting abuse from some other guys, though I don't know who they are, and they don't know me. I try to drink my sorrows away because I love someone, someone we both know very, very well but it doesn't work. I usually accidentally meet them on the way back home when I'm drunk, and they hit me. Hard. And it hurts. Just because of my sexuality. I don't even know how they found out, but they did, and it happens every time we cross paths. I fought back at first, but that's when they would seriously beat me up, and then leave me to die. At least now if I don't struggle, and I'm drunk, it doesn't hurt that much. I've been having nightmares about the encounters. I'm sorry, I'm so, so, so sorry that I lied to you. But telling you would just hurt you and nothing would be different. I'm sorry"

He hugged me lightly, though he was noticeably shaking and silently crying his eyes out. He sniffed.

"EVERYTHING will be different," he said "I promise you".

That's when I started to weep like a child being yelled at too.