Hi all, its been a long time since the last update. I'm sorry for taking so long, but hey, I needed to make sure that its good enough for you dear readers.
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As usual, my thanks and appreciation to:
M4dG4rl: The countless questions and things that I've been asking you,
and you've helped me with so much, encouraged me so much,
helped me get back on track with my stories.
What more can I ask from a friend?
Thanks.
DATsubasa: Insanity, insanity, insanity. Its been a real blessing to have you as my friend.
Angila: The nonstop pestering. I hope I haven't annoyed you too much.
Thanks for always listening.
Sarah: My regular source of happiness, entertainment, and enjoyment.
KaylaDestroyer: Its been nice having an author friend like you.
You've been my inspiration to keep writing.
cheezy3: You write wonderful stories too.
Thanks for the countless messages we've exchanged.
MusicalNinja15: You've been a good fan and friend.
Hope your Star trek story gets more popular.
It was certainly an interesting read.
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Thanks to the following reviewers:
Agnez: Thanks. I'll do my best.
YinYang: Thanks to you too.
Sweetluckygirl: Thanks!
M4dG4rl: To be honest, I didn't realize the tofu thing till you pointed it out. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
greatest15: I'm sure its the question that any confused person/animal might ask.
your fan: Thanks! Maybe you can create an account? This way I can update you when the next chapter's out.
Unknown: Thanks! Maybe you can create an account? This way I can update you when the next chapter's out.
Genandme: Thanks!
Senna711: I'm glad you enjoyed the story. This whole collection intends to showcase her life at the Jade Palace, bits and sections of her life and her interactions with characters which we know and love so much.
racers100: Thanks! I'll do my best.
cheezy3: Thanks!
Naiatra Equatron: You're a good author too, especially for emotional stories. I'm glad you liked mine. When I saw your review, I felt happy, and honored. Thanks!
Solarsystemex: Thanks! I'll do my best. Keep up your stories too.
KaylaDestroyer: Thanks! Will keep your advice in mind.
MusicalNinja15: Thanks! Keep updating your stories too.
Shadow Bane: I will. Create an account. This way I can update you when there's a new chapter.
DATsubasa: Thanks my friend.
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Disclaimer: I do not own Kung Fu Panda.
Nightmare
A cloud drifted past in the gentle breeze, unveiling the full moon that is now gleaming brightly in the sky. Its glow bathed the Valley of Peace in a gentle light, illuminating the way for the lost and weary. It was a little after midnight and everything was calm and peaceful. The citizens were deep in their slumber, swimming in the deepest of oceans and frolicking in the lushness of their imaginary fields. It was in a world where everyone was their own paradise, living in their greatest hopes and dreams. The steady breathing and gentle snores of every sleeping animal blend seamlessly to form a soothing symphony that seem to float along the city streets, an aural testament that even deep in the night when its citizens are asleep, it still lives up to its name: The Valley of Peace.
However, despite the lingering serenity in the city, not everyone will share the same peace every night. There will always be someone who has dreams that are frightening and unpleasant. Today, that someone is a little tiger cub in the furthest, tallest and most sacred place in the valley.
It has been exactly three weeks since there was a new addition to the residents of the Jade Palace. Little tigress had slowly eased into the daily routines of the Jade Palace, training daily without any rest so far. It was part of Shifu's plan to break her away from her past at Bao Gu Orphanage where he had adopted her from. He knew the conditions of her past, how she was frequently ignored and ostracized. She wasn't even allowed out of her room save for bathroom trips. He knew that if she had time to herself, she would begin thinking and comparing her time between her new life at the Jade Palace and her time at the orphanage. Anyone would, especially an emotionally wounded seven year old.
For the past three weeks, she hadn't said a word about her past, and neither did he ask her about it. He thought that by giving her so much training and tiring her out physically everyday, she would not have the time nor the energy needed to ponder on those negative thoughts. Shifu knew that she was exhausted every night after the training as she always headed directly to bed after washing up. After her first training, he had sent her to rest early before meditating on the day's events. He realized that he had been too harsh on her, especially on her first day.
Shifu had initially hoped that she would mention it sometime after that day so he could repair some of the damage, but three weeks had passed and she still hadn't said anything. He had been loading her with so much training, she was completely exhausted. He thought that after so long, she would have forgotten it, or have let it passed. Or so he thought…
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A seven year old tigress cub tossed and turned on her futon, occasionally whimpering and mumbling to herself as she struggled slightly against the sheets that had twisted and wrapped themselves around her lean form. To the casual observer, it looked as if she had bundled herself up in the sheets to keep warm. In actual fact, she was in the midst of a nightmare and those sheets were entangled around her after her own imaginary struggles.
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Dream scene
Tigress was back in the pantry, having her first meal with her adopted father. She had just munched on her second bun when Shifu spoke.
"From today onwards, you'll be eating by yourself Tigress."
She looked up in surprise.
"Alone?"
"Yes."
"But… Why?"
Shifu frowned at her.
"Because you are a monster Tigress, and monsters deserve to be alone."
"But… Master, you said I wasn't a monster."
"No, you ARE a monster. That's why I took you out from Bao Gu."
Tigress started to tear up.
"But I thought…."
"You thought I'm trying to change you by bringing you here? You're wrong. I only took you out because it's easier to watch you here."
"But Master, it won't be like this morning's training. I'll work hard to –"
"This morning's training? That was called training? It was more like a joke. Once a monster, always a monster, and a monster like you will never become a Kung Fu Warrior." He declared.
"Master… Please…" She begged. "I'll work harder… Please….I'll –"
Before she could continue, the scene faded, only to be replaced by the field outside Bao Gu Orphanage. There were other children running around and playing tag in the distance. Tigress found herself sitting down on the withering grass, a plush sheep doll in front of her. She realized that she was back to the time when she was six and had slipped out of her room after the caretakers had forgotten to bolt her door.
She lean forward to pick up the toy, only to have it snatched roughly from her paws. Looking up, she saw two older bunny kids smirking down at her, dangling the sheep in front of her.
"Oh look, the freak is out."
She narrowed her eyes, but didn't want to provoke a fight. "Can I have my sheep back?" She tried asking politely.
"This is yours? I think the others deserve it more." The older of the two mocked her.
"Mister Ling gave it to me. Please, can I have it back?"
"I think we'll hang on to it a while more, freak." They replied, tossing the toy carelessly among themselves.
Tigress was getting desperate. The toy was all she had, her only friend and comfort when she was locked in her room. With a roar, she unsheathed her claws and pounced, sinking her fangs into the arm of the older bunny when she landed on him. Screams and shouts followed as she continued biting and clawing away at the bunny's arm. A pair of hoofs grabbed her roughly and shoved her aside, causing her to be momentarily stunned as she fell hard on the ground. She looked up to see the anger on the face of the one who had shoved her.
"They started it!" She lamented to the elderly goat who had pushed her aside.
"I don't care who started it. You attacked them, that means you're in the wrong. You aren't even supposed to be out in the first place. How did you get out?" She shouted. Without giving her a chance to reply, she dragged her by her arm down the weathered pathway back to the building.
"Wait… I need to get my sheep…" She protested feebly as she tried pulling the hoof off her arm. As she turned around to look for it, she noticed that the friend of the bunny who she had just attacked had picked up her toy. He smiled at her maliciously and started ripping the toy apart.
"Noo…" She wailed. "Stop! Stop!"
The goat continued pulling her back into the building. Feeling like as if something snapped, she turned and slashed the goat's arm, causing her to drop her with a yelp of pain. Finally free, she sprinted on all fours towards the bunny who had by now dropped the toy in shock and was starting to run. Before she could attack him however, she was lifted off the ground by a pair of hoofs and slung over a muscled shoulder. The animal itself then started walking into the building.
A large whiff of tobacco entered her nostrils and she realized that the one who had picked her up was the orphanage's owner, a large no nonsense ox who never fail to subdue her every time she broke free. He didn't like her, but neither did he treat her badly. She stopped struggling and calmed down slightly. He was the only one whom she both feared and had respect for in the whole orphanage. She didn't dare cross him. He was the one who had given her the toy after all.
"Mister Ling– " She protested weakly.
"Enough Tigress." He cut her off.
"But…"
"I know you didn't start it, but the truth is, you shouldn't have been out of your room in the first place."
"Prison you mean…" She replied bitterly.
The large ox didn't reply till he reached her room. He placed her down and knelt down so that he was eye level with her.
"Time to go in."
Tigress looked into the darkened room before asking him once more.
"Do I have to?"
He sighed. "You know that all I want is what's best for the kids. Since you can't control your anger and your strength, I have to do this until you get adopted, to protect everyone else."
She lowered her head and trudged into the room.
"I'm sorry Tigress." Mister Ling said softly before bolting the door shut.
As soon as he left, Tigress started screaming and roaring, trying to let out all anger and frustration that she had suppressed while Mister Ling was around. She dragged her razor sharp claws repeatedly on the walls around her, adding more blemishes to its already scarred surface.
After almost five minutes, she grew tired of clawing and sat sobbing in the corner, her knees pulled up to her chest and her tail curled around herself. As she continued crying, she heard the other kids being led to their beds in the dormitories near her room. She didn't need to strain her ear to hear what they were saying. They were talking about her and branding her a monster over and over again.
"I'm not a monster!" She shouted towards the door, but all they did was to chant it repeatedly.
"Monster… Monster… Monster…"
She slammed her paws over her ears and shook her head vigorously.
"I'M NOT! I'M NOT!"
"Monster… Monster… Monster…"
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"NOOO!" Tigress screamed into the night, awaking in the drenched and twisted sheets of her futon. Her fur was ruffled up and her eyes were wet. It took a few minutes before the sobs finally subsided. The nightmare was fresh in her mind as she looked round her room, each shadowed part of the room reminding her of the cell she was always locked in back at Bao Gu.
A constricting feeling crept into her as she gripped her sheets tighter. It was the feeling of fear that she hadn't felt in more than three weeks; the fear of being ostracized, of being confined and being unwanted by anyone. Her fear escalated with her heart rate as she scanned her surroundings once more. Any part of the room that wasn't touched by the moonlight was like a void that would engulf her should she go near it. Even the small dresser that was sitting quietly in the corner seemed to growl and snarl at her as her fear started warping her sense of reality.
Not wanting to stay in there alone for another minute, the trembling tigress cub tip toed out of the room and into the corridor, making special effort to step only where the moonlight shines, afraid that if she stayed in the darkness for too long, it might just swallow her whole.
When she finally got out, she paused at the doorway of the barracks, unsure of what to do. The little tigress wanted someone to comfort her, someone to chase the shadows away, someone to tell her that everything will be fine. All the time, back in the orphanage, she was always alone. During the nights where she had nightmares, all she could do was to huddle and curl inwards, forcing herself to stay awake till sunrise. Now, she knew that if she did that, she'll be too tired for training in the morning. Yet, she didn't dare to go back to sleep as she was afraid that the nightmares might return. She didn't want to disappoint her adopted father by turning up for training looking disheveled. Master, she corrected herself mentally.
As if a sudden realization, she remembered Master Shifu. She knew that he had told her not to disturb him at night and was worried that she'll anger him. She however, was desperately afraid of being alone at the moment, scared that the dreams might just come true, that she was a monster and hated by others. She hurried to the Hall of Warriors where he resided and upon entering, tip toed pass the numerous artifacts on display till she reached the stairs near the back of the building.
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A red panda tossed and turned in his sleep. There was something interrupting his sleep. His sensitive ears twitched constantly, causing him to finally sit up in frustration. He sat on his futon, silently fuming. Having such sensitive hearing was good, but there are times where it is a complete nuisance. Like now for instance. He could hear so well, even the tiniest footsteps would rouse him. That was the reason why he had chosen to sleep in the second floor of the hall of warriors. It was a place where no one entered unless they had a specific reason to. Even the palace servants knew not to enter after sunset.
He looked at the moon through the opened window. Based on the position of gleaming pearl in the sky, he gauged that it was just slightly after midnight. He strained his ears once more, trying to find the source of irritation, but after a minute of focusing, the noise had seemingly disappeared. Hoping that he could finally go back to sleep, he turned back to his futon and laid down on it.
Just as he was about to fall asleep, his ears twitched again. He cursed under his breath as he concentrated on the noise once more. The slowly approaching footsteps sounded slightly cushioned. They were feather light, but very distinct. Silence return as soon as they stopped right outside his room. With a frustrated growl, he whipped his blankets aside and stormed towards the door. Whoever was disturbing him at this timing without an official reason would get it from him, and there was only one person who had footsteps like those.
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After pausing for a moment at the stairs, little Tigress plucked up the courage to complete her journey. She tip toed even more carefully as she made her way across the wooden floor on the second level to his room, hoping that she hadn't made any noise to arouse her master. She knew just after a few days in the palace that he had excellent hearing and an exceedingly short temper. Adding the lateness of the night, she knew that he'd be in a terrible mood. She was worried of being on the receiving end of his wrath, but was currently more afraid of the loneliness and was desperately pining for some affection and comfort.
Stopping outside his door, she raised a trembling paw to the door and paused. She was scared, both of her master and of her nightmare. Taking a deep breath, she was about to knock when the paper-thin door burst open, revealing a very angry looking red panda.
"What?" Shifu growled.
Tigress cringed and flattened her ears in fear.
"I… I'm sorry master, for waking you up… but I –"
"Why are you here? Haven't I told you before that the Hall of Warriors is out of bounds after sunset?"
"I know the rules master, but I… couldn't sleep."
"Why not?"
"I… I had a scary dream, master."
"A bad dream? That is all?" He nearly shouted.
Tigress hung her head in shame. She didn't know that it sounded childish. To her, it sounded right. She was afraid of being alone, afraid of the darkness, and afraid of the memories it brought her.
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Shifu narrowed his eyebrows at the tigress cub in front of him. He had expected more from her. She couldn't sleep? Just over a bad dream? He was sorely tempted to just tell her off, but he knew that he couldn't. She wasn't wrong in any way. All she was doing was to look for someone for comfort after a nightmare. She was just a seven year old cub after all. He sighed resignedly and tried to soften his tone.
"What did you dream about Tigress?"
She knew that she couldn't tell him about the scene back at the pantry, so she settled on the part at the orphanage.
"It was during the time back at… Bao Gu…. Master..." She trailed off and looked at Shifu nervously, unsure on whether she should continue.
Frustration was clear in his expression, but he nodded wearily for her to continue.
"It was that one time where a bunny stole my toy, my only toy… I tried to ask them nicely, but they wouldn't return it. I got angry, and I couldn't control myself… I… I attacked them. The nannies separated us in the end, but they destroyed the toy, and…."
She looked down once more in attempt to hide her tear filled orbs.
"They kept calling me… monster… over and over. I shouted at them that I wasn't, but they didn't stop. Even the nannies …"
She stopped talking, unable to continue without breaking down. She clenched her paws together and tried to control her emotions.
Shifu looked at her as she fell silent. He knew that she was trying her best not to break down in front of him, but how much more can she withstand? The fatherly side in him wanted to reach out and comfort her, but something in him held him back. Almost a minute of silenced pass before he decided to speak up, leaning towards a more general answer to prevent her from getting any wrong ideas.
"Tigress, remember the day I first came into the orphanage, and the first thing that I told you?"
Tigress nodded her head slightly, but continued staring at the floor. Shifu then tipped her chin upwards to look right into her watery irises.
"I'll remind you again, Tigress." He said softly, but firmly. "You have the physical strength that the others don't, but this does not, I repeat, does NOT, mean you are a monster. You are now a Kung Fu Warrior who will defend the citizens of the valley, and if need be, the citizens of China. Do you understand me?"
The little tiger cub nodded once more.
"Good." Shifu removed his finger from her chin. "Go back to bed. You need to be up early for training."
The red panda turned around and headed back into his room. He was about to shut the door when the tigress cub addressed him once more.
"Master?"
He clenched his teeth and huffed.
"What is it?"
"May I… sleep here tonight? I'll… I'll be quiet. I'll sleep on the floor… and won't move or make any sound. You… you won't even know I'm here master… I'll… leave before the morning gong, before you wake up master…"
"No" He replied firmly. "Go back to your room."
She looked at his back, her shimmering irises reflecting the ray of moonlight shining through the corridor window.
"Alone?" She asked, her voice wavering.
"Yes."
Tigress squeezed her eyes shut as she bowed down slightly and mentally braced herself. A drop of crystal clear tear leaked out of her amber irises.
"But, Baba…" She pleaded, her voice barely a whisper. "I'm scared…"
Those words sparked a memory in Shifu. A memory when Tai Lung was still young and had come looking for him in the middle of the night. He had comforted him and allowed him to spend the night with him. Tai Lung had grown closer to him that night as they talked about his nightmare, with the snow leopard cub eventually falling asleep cuddled next to him afterwards.
No. Shifu forcefully put a stop on that memory. He had shown care and concern for Tai Lung, and what happened in the end? Tai Lung turned out to be a monster who had almost destroyed the Valley of Peace. I will not make the same mistake again. I can't treat Tigress the same way as I did with him. He made up his mind. He will be strict with her, and today's event will be the best opportunity to enforce his stand. Yes, he loved her, but he couldn't show it, lest he create another reiteration of Tai Lung.
He turned around and stared at her.
"Tigress. What did I tell you about addressing me during your first day here?" He questioned her coldly.
She looked up hopefully when he called her name, but bowed her head in bitter disappointment when she heard the tone he used.
"To address you as Master, not… Baba…" She replied in the barest of whisper.
"Remember this; A warrior who shows her fears will be taken advantage of by her enemies. Find a way to conquer your fear, lest you let your fear conquer you."
Tigress nodded silently.
"I want you to become a fearless warrior Tigress. Starting from today, I want you to overcome any fear you face, regardless of whatever it is. Am I clear?"
"I… I'll do my best Master."
"Don't disappoint me Tigress. Now go. You need to sleep."
She bowed once more before turning to leave. She didn't stop until she reached the entrance of the student barracks. Being with Shifu had made the nightmares go away, but his rejection brought everything back. For the past few weeks, she didn't have the energy to think or ponder on anything as she was too tired after the day's training. Right now, she was wide awake and unable to return to the comfort of sleep. She knew she had to find a way to tire herself before attempting to sleep again. Deciding that she didn't want to return to her room so early, she turned and walked towards the courtyard, tears still flowing down her cheeks as she pondered on her adopted father's repeated rejections.
Reaching the courtyard, she sat down on the cobbled floor and continued crying. Baba… Why? What did I do wrong? Please tell me, I'll change. Please…
A gentle gust of wind ruffled her fur and she raised her head a little to look around the moonlit courtyard. The memory of her very first day of training was suddenly clear in her mind. It was the first time Shifu had praised her, the first time anyone had praised her for anything at all. It was after her very first workout. She had exerted herself fully, and had seemingly impressed him.
That's it. She realized. I need to work harder to impress him, to prove to him that I'm no longer a monster and to show him that he made the right choice by adopting me from Bao Gu.
She stood up and wiped her tears dry. Taking a deep breath, she went down on all fours and started sprinting around the courtyard. The past three weeks of endurance training had already started paying off. Running long distance was now effortless for her, but she continued it anyway to try to keep her mind distracted from the harmful thoughts. She went on for another hour before deciding to stop. There were only three hours left to sunrise and she had to get some rest.
She walked to the bathhouse to clean up, the nightmare now long gone from her mind. All that remained was a silent determination to push herself fully, to accomplish anything that Shifu had in mind for her and to prove that she will never disappoint him again.
So... How was it?
If its good, review. If its not... Still review, and maybe let me know where and what to work on so I can make it better. Even single word/sentence reviews are welcomed.
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If everything goes as planned, the next chapter might not involve Shifu at all, but someone else whom we all love as well. *winks*
It was originally intended for chapter 2, but after drafting it, I realized that it was too early, so I pushed it to chapter 3. That's why there was such a delay. I had to recompose this chapter from scratch.
Well, hope to hear from you all soon. =D
-Salunatic
