Chapter One: When Weird Comes Knocking


Flicking off the cap of a gallon of distilled water, Darcy let her mind wander. It was something that had started when she had taken the internship with Jane, hours of mind-numbing filing and sitting in the desert tended to lend itself to daydreaming.

The thought of her old boss led her mind to the subject she had tried to avoid for months. New Mexico, Thor, and the fact that there really were aliens and magic out there. Sure, she had dreamed and hoped as a child. Though one look at her now one would never believe it, but as a kid she had been a real girly-girl. Pink princess dresses, several tiaras all lined up on her dresser. My Little Pony posters on the walls, a Pretty, Pretty Princess game always set up in the corner. To her ever-living embarrassment she had spent her first grade year demanding that everyone call her Princess Darcy. Her parents had even allowed her to wear her princess dresses and tiaras to school. To that day Darcy had an uncle that refused to drop it, bowing every time she entered the room.

She laughed to herself, knowing had her younger self known she would one day meet a prince, a real live prince, she would have squealed. The fact that said prince was an alien god wouldn't have mattered, it probably would have just made her faint from excitement while she imagined some fairytale land up in the sky.

Darcy sighed and set the gallon down on the counter, absentmindedly reaching for the coffee filters. She wasn't that little girl anymore, the reality of magic and princes gave her no joy. Just sheer and utter terror.

She had hid it well when Thor's brother sent his Metal Man of Doom. She had been too busy trying to keep others alive, helping them out of town and away from the death rays. But in reality she had been terrified. She had wanted nothing more than to run and hide in a corner. When she had told Erik that, he had informed her that that was true courage, to do what needed to be done when scared. She had just stuck her tongue out and went to check on Jane.

Still, the fear that was left over from that day had brought Darcy to a decision. She wanted boring, plain old boring. She didn't plan on ever allowing herself to be put in that kind of situation again. She wanted nothing more to do with fantasy and sci-fi, or anything that could be classified as weird.

Maybe she had taken it all just a little bit too far. Her Lord of the Rings dvds ended up in the trash alongside her Harry Potter books, the station was quickly changed when Dr. Who came on. It was bit extreme, but she was tired.

So when Jane had asked her to stay on permanently, Darcy had quickly informed her of her plans to finish school and find some quite little job somewhere no alien would ever think of going.

And that was how she ended up in the middle of nowhere, working as a secretary for a small town lawyer. She figured she could contemplate on what to do with her life next in between fetching coffee and filing papers. Something she found out was actually harder than she had anticipated.

What did one do when they found out everything they ever knew was wrong? When they had become friends with an alien that thought he was a god, when one survived being attacked by a big ass, fire breathing, metal robot? She wasn't sure, and that was why she spent her days getting coffee for Curtis Sr. of Curtis and Sons Law Firm.

Darcy opened the coffee pot, reaching in to grab the old grounds and toss the moist thing in the trash. She ignored everything around her as she added a new filter, grounds and got ready to pour the water. She really didn't need to pay attention to anything, making coffee was like breathing for her now. Not that there was nothing to pay attention to anyway.

The break room was silent, but for the small tv in the corner that was always tuned to CNN. The other secretaries were hard at work, Matty chewing gum and filing her nails, Robyn clicking away on her computer, doing actual work. Tess was nowhere to be seen, Darcy knew she was most likely in Glen Curtis' office, scuffing up the knees of her dress pants. All in all it was a normal day.

She was just pouring the water in the machine when she realized how wrong she had been. It seemed that Weird hadn't just come for a onetime visit. She noticed the sounds of screaming first, but it was the journalists' comment about aliens that gotten her attention. When she looked over to the tv, it was to CNN broadcasting an image of New York, and she didn't need to be a genius to figure out that Weird had come calling again.

She watched in horror as several freaky ass aliens used cars and people as target practice. She wanted to curl up on the floor, rocking back and forth and muttering 'why me,' but watching as men, women and children ran away in terror kept her standing. So transfixed was she, that she ended up overfilling the coffee machine, getting water all over the counter and floor.

"Fuck!" The curse that flew from her mouth echoed in the room at the same time that someone had screamed on the television. Her eyes widened when she looked up and caught the image of Thor flying across the screen, his hammer in hand.

"Oh, fuckity fuck!" Coffee forgotten, she moved to stand in front of the screen, watching without blinking as the camera panned from Thor to Iron Man, to the Hulk, and to Captain America?! Really?! What the ever-living fuck?!

The call from Jane just days ago about a job in Tromso suddenly made sense. She knew Jane would be spitting nails once she got word that Thor was back on Earth. S.H.I.E.L.D. was about to find out just how loud their mousy little Jane could get.

"Ms. Lewis! Surely it doesn't take this long to make a pot of coffee." Curtis Sr. called from his office, distracting Darcy from the tv coverage. She sighed and worked to quickly start the coffee, glad that she had the foresight to empty the last cup from the old pot into a cup. She quickly heated up the coffee, all the while trying to catch whatever she could about what was happening in New York. Trying to catch just one more glimpse of Thor to make sure he was alright.

"Ms. Lewis! Coffee. Now!" Darcy removed her gaze from the tv and stirred in a spoon of sugar. She laughed to herself as she ran off to Curtis Sr.'s office. She allowed herself to imagine herself dressed as Snow White, poison ring on her finger. The image of New York for the moment gone as she daydreamed about what she would like to do to her bosses. 9 to 5 style.


The images didn't stay away long of course. By that night Darcy had calmed and the news broadcast played in her mind. It hadn't helped that once she turned on the tv, every station was broadcasting the video of what happened.

For days Darcy had been unable to get the images out of her mind. She had wondered on what Thor had been doing there, and why boring was starting to look…well boring.

She had heard rumors, both good and bad about the group that called themselves the Avengers. As she knew one of its members personally, she pretty much ignored all the bad press. In fact she had had it out with Tess at work about The Avengers. The woman had swore up and down that they had attracted the aliens, brought the fight to Earth and should be punished for what damage they had done. Darcy had tried her best to defend the group of super heroes, but there was only so much she could say before she knew a couple of men in black would show up at her door.

S.H.I.E.L.D. had made sure that her mouth had been stitched very tight after New Mexico. In fact she couldn't even tell people that she had been there during that time. Officially she had been undergoing an internship in Montana.

Darcy was currently sitting on her couch, having a private pity party. It was stupid, but at the moment Darcy couldn't bring herself to care. She had woken up that morning feeling as though she had truly missed out on something great when she turned down Jane. So, instead of dressing in jeans and a hoodie as she normally would on her day off, she had slipped into a pair of torn and stained sweats and wrapped her hair in a crude bun on her head.

The ice cream she was eating straight from the carton, was dripping from her spoon. She ignored it, focusing instead on the ringing of her cellphone. She had a moment of hesitation, the lyrics to 'She Blinded Me With Science' alerted her to the fact it was Jane, and she wasn't sure she wanted to deal with that particular can of worms. In the end though she stuck her spoon in the carton and answered.

"What's the gist, Physicist?" Darcy had expected Jane to grumble about her greeting before going right into a rant about S.H.I.E.L.D.'s interference with Thor. What she hadn't expected was for Jane to be crying. Loudly, so loudly that Darcy couldn't make out a single word.

"Whoa, whoa Jane! Calm down, I don't speak sob." It took Darcy several minutes of talking, but she had calmed her down, finally.

"Ok, now, what happened? You seriously can't be that upset about not seeing Thor." Jane took a large breath on the other end of the line.

"Something happened to Erik. He…he…" A sick pain shot through her stomach and it took her a moment to calm down so she wouldn't end up yelling into the phone.

"What? Jane, what happened to Erik? Surely he wasn't in New York? Was he?!" The silence from Jane was enough of an answer. What the fuck had Erik been doing in New York? She knew he had been doing some kind of specialized work for S.H.I.E.L.D., but had kind of figured he would have been sent to Tromso with Jane.

"I can't actually tell you over the phone, Darc. But he was hurt, something…something bad happened. Darc?" Darcy closed her eyes at the small, squeaky quality of her voice.

"What's the matter Jane? What can I do?" She could hear the relieved sigh on the other end, and Darcy felt momentarily annoyed. Had Jane actually thought she would ignore her and Erik, refuse to help?

"I know it is a lot to ask Darc, mostly since I know you have a job, but do you think it would be possible to come out here to New York?" Darcy's eyes shot open, her brows straight up in her hairline.

"You're in New York?! Are you crazy woman?! I thought you were in Tromso?" Jane gave a watery laugh, it was weak, but still a laugh.

"I was, I just got back yesterday. I'm in New York because Erik is here. Please Darcy, it would only be for a couple of days, but he wants to see you." Feeling marginally better knowing that Jane hadn't been there during the attack, Darcy allowed her brows to return to their normal place. She knew what Jane really meant when she spoke, Erik might have wanted to see her, but Jane needed her. The woman didn't have many friends, even fewer female friends.

"Of course! I'm not heartless Jane, I would have come out even if you hadn't asked. The only thing is, how am I going to get there? All flights there have been cancelled, and from what I've heard, the streets are blocked off." She was sure she could figure out some way. Take a bus as far as she could go, rent a motorbike to take her the rest of the way, even walk if need be. But all that would take too long, and she wanted out there as fast as she could. All she could see was an image of Erik lying in a hospital bed, having half his body burned from an alien gun.

"That is all taken care of. We're…well we're sort of staying at Stark Tower. Tony has opened up all the available rooms to the Avengers and their family. Tony is already sending a private jet to bring you out. Someone should be at your apartment to pick you up tomorrow morning." Darcy blinked a couple of times, not able to speak. Tony Stark, The Tony Stark, was sending a jet. She would be staying in the same fucking house as Tony "Fuckhot" Stark! Wow….

"Darcy?" Shaking her head, Darcy smiled even though Jane couldn't see it.

"Yeah, sorry, that is just a lot to take in. Anyway, I'll be ready and see you when I get there, yeah?" Jane mumbled a 'yes' and quickly got off the phone. The woman never was one for phone talk.

Darcy just sat quietly for awhile after that. She tried not to think of the worst that could have happened to Erik, but her mind still came up with every bloody and terrifying possibility imaginable.

Erik had been the father figure of the three of them, always looking out for both her and Jane. He had even chased off one guy Darcy had been casually dating, when he had tried to take a goodnight kiss too far. Darcy would never forget the sight of Erik's fist making contact with Jerkface's nose, or the loud crunch and girl like squeal of the idiot. Nor would she forget having to clean up Erik's hand, or the fact that he had actually managed to break his middle finger.

Deciding it was best not to think about it until she actually got there to see him, Darcy went to pack. Before bed she left a message on her boss's voicemail that she had a family emergency and had to leave right away. That she wasn't sure when she would be back. She just hoped she had a job when she returned, even if it was boring.


Darcy was impressed. Wow, awesome, beautiful, magnificent, whatthefuckWoWthisshitisfuckawsome, didn't even begin to cover it. Stark Tower, even with the top half blown off, was possibly the coolest thing Darcy had ever seen. And that was counting everything that had happened to her that morning.

She had been impressed when the sharp dressed men had showed up at her door exactly at eight that morning, and as she had been impressed when she entered the limo, entered the jet, and again another limo once in New York. The fact was, she was just damn impressed.

She knew that Stark had money, hell, just what his father had made before him was more than enough to live off of comfortably, well more than actually, but where Tony took the company himself made him rich enough Darcy actually contemplated wearing low cut shirts while she was there. It never hurt to know one's options, and an iron sugar daddy could come in handy one day….like when she needed to pay off her school loans.

She shook her head, now was not the time, she squared her shoulders and followed the men inside and up a ways in an elevator that made most homes look shabby.

Darcy smiled as she entered the room the men had escorted her to. Jane had been waiting for her, standing in the middle of the room along with a redheaded woman.

"Darcy! Thank God you're here!" Jane flew to her, gathering her up in her arms, crying on her shoulder. The red-haired woman she had been talking to calmly walked up to them, patting Jane on the back and turning to give her a kind smile.

"Ms. Lewis, I'm Pepper Pots, welcome to Stark Tower." She held out a hand and Darcy awkwardly maneuvered an arm around Jane so she could shake it.

"Darcy, please, Ms. is just one step away from ma'am, and God forbid I'm old enough for that." Pepper laughed softly at that and dropped her hand. She gave a side glance at Jane, and Darcy had the fleeting thought that Pepper Pots was as uncomfortable around a weepy Jane as she was.

"Come on now, Jane. I'm here, no need to soak my shirt." Jane stood up straight, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, and gave Darcy a sheepish smile.

"Sorry, it's just…a lot has been going on…and…" Darcy held up a hand, giving a soft laugh at her old boss and friend.

"And you probably haven't been sleeping." Jane nodded and gave another little smile. Darcy knew besides caring for Erik, she most likely was dealing with Thor and any and all sciencey stuff. Thinking of Erik, Darcy's smile fell off her face.

"Alright Jane, now what exactly happened?" Jane's own smile fell.

"I can only tell you what I know. I don't have a high enough clearance, so what I know is just what Erik and Tony have told me." A look passed over Pepper's features, though Darcy couldn't figure it out. It was like one part worried, one part amused, and a whole lot of sad.

"Erik has been working on a project for S.H.I.E.L.D. All very hush-hush of course, so I don't really know what, and Erik won't tell me. All I know is that Loki, Thor's brother, showed up where Erik was. From what I understand, he took over several people's minds, including Erik's and one of the Avengers." Darcy's eyes went wide. It was shocking enough to find out that Loki, master trickster, had shown up. But mind control?! Suddenly boring was looking attractive again. Jane must have taken Darcy's silence and expression as fear, because she held her hands up and started speaking quickly.

"Don't worry though, he's fine now. Totally out from under Loki's control. It is just, he is so tired. I don't think he got any sleep or food while Loki had him working." Jane didn't say how long he had been under the trickster's power, or just what he had been made to do, and Darcy found she really didn't want to know.

"Can I see him? Is he here or at the hospital?" Pepper spoke up first, her voice calm and professional like she was used to that sort of thing. Somewhere in the back of Darcy's mind she recalled that Stark had made a woman by the name of Pepper CEO awhile ago.

"He is here, Tony has invited everyone to stay. But I would wait to see him, Erik is resting right now. He seems to tire easily at the moment, but he will most likely be up in a couple of hours." Darcy nodded, Erik needed as much rest as he could get.

"Ms…Darcy, we have a room prepared for you while you're in New York. The tower was damaged in the battle, as you can see, but that is limited to the upper most floors. I assure you the rest of the tower is sound." Knowing she wouldn't find out anything more at that point, Darcy thanked Pepper and both her and Jane followed her to the room that had been set aside for her.

When Pepper left, Darcy turned to find Jane already sitting on the couch that was in her room.

"Ok, now that we have all that out of the way. How are you Jane?" The scientist gave her a weak smile before letting it fall as she let her head fall back on the couch.

"Fine, sort of. I'm angry with what S.H.I.E.L.D. has done, of course. I mean, I have been working this whole time on figuring out a way to bring Thor back, and when he actually comes back I'm shipped off to Tromso like a wayward kid." Jane pinched her nose and sat fully up again as Darcy sat down beside her.

"Bruce, um…The Hulk…explained it to me when I started in on one of the agents. He said they weren't keeping Thor from me, but that Thor needed his whole attention on the battle with his brother and he couldn't do that if he was worrying about me.

"I get it, I really do, but I'm still mad." Darcy nodded. She could understand Jane's anger, the woman hadn't seen her boyfriend in forever. If she had been in Jane's place, she probably would have tried to hop on a plane to get to him.

They were both silent for a moment after that. A silence that was broken when Darcy just started laughing. Not big belly laughs, just small, ironic giggles. Jane gave her a confused look, she almost looked hurt. Darcy tried to quiet her laughing to explain.

"I'm not laughing at you, Jane. It is just, this is all too surreal. Alien attacks, alien gods, superheroes, staying in fucking Tony Stark's tower! Shit Jane, when I signed up for that internship I hadn't ever pictured any of this. You know, if you'd put that down on the internship you might've had more applications." Jane laughed along with her after that.

"How is Erik, really? It can't have been easy, having your mind taken over." Jane sobered up quickly, setting her head on the back of the couch again.

"He's holding up. He isn't as bad off as Hawkeye, the Avenger that Loki took, Erik hadn't killed anyone directly like he had. Still Erik is feeling guilty for his part in the battle by building the portal. With those two it doesn't matter that they weren't in control, they are both trying to take the blame." Darcy cringed at the thought of what either of them must have gone through. Did they remember what happened, or was it all like a dream?

"Don't worry, he will be fine eventually. Erik is a fighter, and you know he won't allow this to bring him down." Jane smiled and reached over to pull her into a hug.

"Thank you for coming, Darc. Erik really will be happy to see you, and…well I kind of need you around too. I hope you don't mind. I mean Pepper is great, but she wasn't there. In New Mexico I mean." They pulled away from the hug and Darcy swore she saw a few tears in the older woman's eyes.

"Don't worry about it. Now, why don't you help me unpack. My bag is a bit of a mess since I didn't have time last night. I'm not even sure if I have everything I'll need." Which was true enough. Darcy pretty much just grabbed and stuffed, she had been in such a hurry.

"If you didn't I have some things you could borrow, and if I don't have what you need just kind of throw it into conversation with Tony. That guy loves to throw around money. I mentioned you once and the next thing I know he had everything planned." Darcy laughed.

"I still can't believe that I'm staying in Tony Stark's tower!" Jane laughed along with her, knowing that if that was a shock to her she was in for a big surprise when Tony came to the breakfast table in nothing but boxers.

"By the way, where is Thor? I figured you two would be locked in a bedroom this whole time." Darcy recognized the pained expression on Jane's face and worried what the answer would be.

"Asgard. He had to return home with Loki so his brother could be punished. He was already gone by time I got here." Darcy wondered what kind of punishment people on Asgard doled out, she had read once about Loki having his mouth sewn shut. She shivered at the thought and wondered if that was standard, or if there was some form of normal punishment for trying to take over a planet.

Shrugging the thought off, she plugged in her phone by the bed and looked up to find Jane standing by the door.

"Come on, I'm sure you're hungry. There is nothing to cook, but I know there is some left over pizza from last night." Darcy's stomach growled, and vowing not to think on aliens, battles or punishments until she ate, Darcy followed Jane out of the room.


Author's Note: Ok, I had been hoping to get this out earlier, but headaches prevented me. Plus I had started the chapter a couple of days ago and didn't like how it came out, so I had to rewrite the whole first half.

Hopefully it won't be too long to the next chap, I've actually got free time this weekend and have reserved it for doing basically nothing but writing.

Though no Loki in this chap, the next will bring both Loki and Hawkeye. And I will give one little teaser….Loki's bare behind will make an appearance.

Now, Darcy's greeting of course came from Big Bang Theory, the best show on TV, ever….well along with Duck Dynasty(OMG, I am not kidding when I say I know all those men….well that most of my family is just like that. Si is so freaking my grandfather! Who btw is a riverrat!)

Anyway, I digress, also for those that are confused about the Snow White line, watch 9 to 5, if you've ever had a boss you wanted to kill, that movie is the best.

One last thing, just thanks to all that reviewed and put this on watch. I might not always get to reply, life being busy and all, but do know I read everyone and they do make my day.

Disclaimer:

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.