Always on my Mind
Chapter 2
Disclaimer: I do not own the lyrics of '7 Things'
Daya turned the page and he saw few lines of Shreya's favourite song '7 Things' by Miley Cyrus. Below each line Shreya had written her feelings. It was a collection of her thoughts and those special moments which they both had spent together. Daya felt a pang of guilt. How could he do that to her?
Without wasting another moment, he began reading -
"I probably shouldn't say this
But at times I get so scared
When I think about the previous
Relationship we shared"
*I never thought I would fall in love with someone like Daya. I remember quite clearly how angry I was with him when I first met him. It was Sunday and my best friend Katherine and I had gone shopping. We were almost done and we were walking back to our car. Suddenly I was hit by a muddy baseball on my stomach. I hit the ground and all the shopping bags scattered on the floor around me.
Around 10 or so boys came rushing towards me and started apologizing. The pain in my stomach was unbearable. Tears stung my eyes. Katie helped me get up. My left cheek was covered in mud and my white T shirt had turned brown.
'Who did it?' I asked angrily.
Everyone was quiet for a moment and then I heard laughter. There he was laughing at me. He was of Indian Origin. I recognised from his looks. 'Y - You look so funny!' he said sniggering. Everyone burst out laughing now. Even Katie was smiling. They all were mocking me. 'Shut up!' I screamed. Everyone fell silent. 'Sharam nahi aati tumhe? Sorry bolne ke wajay has rahe ho!' I shouted angrily.
'Arey shakal to dekho apni. Tum khud par hi hasne lagogi' he said sniggering.
'Ye apni bakwaas apne paas hi rakho samjhe!' I said.
'Daya please just apologize and get over with it' said Katie.
I glanced at her. She probably knew him.
He just stared at me but didn't apologize. I really lost my temper.
I was glad that he knew hindi. I was ready to attack him with 'galis'. I was literally shaking in anger.
'Tumhe mujhe galiyan dene ka bohot mann kar raha hai na? Bol do aaj tumhare dil ki baat. Pata hai mujhe kitne dino se kisi ne daata nahi hai' he said guessing my thoughts correctly.
The others didn't understand a word we were talking. They were enjoying our heated argument silently.
'Kitne battameez insan ho tum! I hate you! I hope ki dubara tumhari shakal dekhe ki naubat mujhe na aaye' I said.
'Main to umeed karta hoon hum dubara mile. Mujhe aisi tikhi ladkiyan bohot pasand hai!' he said.
'You - ' I began but he ran off laughing hard.
I couldn't get his stupid face off my mind. He happened to be Katie's best friend and we kept bumping into each other often.
I don't know how my anger melted away. But then we started hanging around a lot. In fact we would meet often without telling Katie. Just the two of us. I loved his company. He was a real charmer. I loved his light flirting and the attention which he gave me.*
"It was awesome, but we lost it
It's not possible for me not to care
And now we're standing in the rain
But nothing's ever gonna change until you hear
My dear"
* I always felt secure when he was with me. He gave the feeling that nothing would ever happen to me. He would always pop up when I was in trouble. He never proposed me officially but he had told me I was very special to him. Our relationship was much more than just friendship. It was the awesomest feeling in my life.
But now when I come to think of it, I realise how foolish I was.
Now I am scared of falling in love. Thanks to him. We lost it.
I remember that rainy night when he told me he can't continue this relationship. I hate you Daya for what you did to me. I will never forgive you.*
" The seven things I hate about you
The seven things I hate about you
Oh, you
You're vain"
* He was good looking no doubt. And he was extremely proud of his good looks and his intelligence. Everyone loved him. Everyone wanted to be with him.
'You are so vain!' I would often tell him. He would think that he was cut above the rest. He failed to realise the importance of precious things he owned in his life as very rarely he had witnessed failure. I was scared that he wouldn't have the strength to face failure if he get feet didn't land back on the ground soon.*
" your games, you're insecure"
*Daya did it on purpose every time. Sometimes he would totally ignore me and flirt with other girls. He did it to make me jealous. I hated it. So once I decided to use his own trick on him. We were at a prom. I was dancing with Richard who happened to be one of his friends.
I saw him looking at me but I ignored him completely.
But then a minute later he was there. 'Can I have her back?' he asked.
'Possessive are we?' asked Richard smiling at him.
'Very' he said aggressively almost pulling me roughly into his arms.
'Don't do that ever again' he said in a warning tone.
'Jealous?' I asked my eyes twinkling.
'Nope. But I don't like to see anyone but myself besides you' he said.
I blushed hard. I loved his feeling of insecurity and possessiveness.*
"You love me you like her
You made me laugh, you made me cry, I don't know which side to buy"
* Ayesha was one of his closest friends. And she too had a thing for Daya. She never missed a chance to get cosy with him. An attention seeker he loved it when she showered it on him in dollops. I had many heated arguments with Daya because of her. He had told me he was not ready for any sort of commitment.
I was against it but then I thought love would make him change his decision. He was not ready to let her go and he wanted me too. When I finally told him to make a choice, he chose her over me. My mind was not ready to accept his rejection.
And he chose her just because she didn't ask for any sort of commitment.*
" Your friends, they're jerks, and when you act like them, just know it hurts
I wanna be with the one I know"
*He and his friends would mock me that my thoughts were 'very Indian'. It hurt me so much when he didn't support me. I wanted stability in our relationship.
I just wanted him to be mine forever. At times he seemed so different. I wondered was he the one whom I loved so deeply. He wasn't the one whom I had loved. I missed the caring and loving Daya who would never even dream of hurting me*
"And the seventh thing I hate the most that you do
you make me love you"
* The hatred towards him made me love him more and more. He was constantly on my mind. While I was awake and while I slept. Why do you make me love you so much Daya?*
" It's awkward and it's silent
as I wait for you to say"
*Kyu nahi bolte Daya? Say you love me! I can see it in your eyes. Why are you so scared? I promise I would stay by your side.*
"But what I need to hear now your sincere apology
When you mean it, I'll believe it If you text it I'll delete it
Let's be clear
Oh, I'm not coming back
you're taking seven steps here"
* I know it too late. He is not going to come back. But I at least expect him to come back and apologize for what he did to me. Our paths would never cross again but please assure me Daya that I was not wrong.
I didn't commit any mistake by loving you. Today I am scared even of uttering the word 'love'. You have scarred my heart. Say it from the bottom of your heart that my love and trust for you was not a mistake.*
" The seven things I hate about you
You're vain, your games, you're insecure
You love me, you like her
You made me laugh, you made me cry, I don't know which side to buy
Your friends, they're jerks, and when you act like them, just know it hurts
I wanna be with the one I know
And the seventh thing I hate the most that you do
You make me love you"
* Just wanna say I miss you *
"Compared to all the great things
That would take too long to write
I probably should mention
The seven that I like"
*How could I not write the things which I like about you? The list is endless but here you go!*
"The seven things I like about you
Your hair, your eyes, your old Levi's"
* It was the first time you were so close to me. I couldn't help staring at your handsome face and your well chiselled body.
I loved it when you tried to flatten your hair and then get angry when it didn't work out the way you wanted. I would often tease you to make you angry on purpose.
I remember that day when we were getting ready for a marriage function of our friend.
'Daya kya hua?' I asked smiling at his irritated expression.
He didn't reply and was desperately trying to make his hair lie flat.
'Ruko ek minute' I said and I moved my hand softly through his hair.
He closed his eyes enjoying my touch. Then out of the blue he pulled me into a hug. 'Irada kya hai madam?'he asked with a naughty grin.
'Daya chodo na. Dekho already bohot late hua hai' I said not meeting his eye.
'Waise mujhe problem nai hai agar hum nahin gaye toh bhi. Bohot kuch hai karne ke liye' he said moving his hand on my back.
'Daya no!' I said pushing him away and ran away blushing*
" When we kiss, I'm hypnotized
You made me laugh, you made me cry, but I guess that's both that I'll have to buy"
* I remember it was your birthday. I had forgotten your gift at my friend's place and I was feeling really sad.
'Daya sorry main gift uske ghar bhool gayi! Main bhi kitni badi bewakoof hoon! Main -' I was saying.
'Shreya, mujhe aaj kuch special gift chahiye. Jo tum abhi de sakti ho iso waqt.' he said giving me an intense stare.
'Kya?' I asked.
'May I kiss you?' he asked.
'Wha - what?' I asked surprised.
'I take it as a yes' he said and without waiting for my permission he pressed his lips to mine.
I don't have enough words to describe our first kiss. He really left me hypnotised.*
"Your hand in mine when we're intertwined, everything's alright
I wanna be with the one I know
And the seventh thing I like the most that you do
You make me love you
you do"
* He never asked anything more than a kiss. He gave me comfort
and warmth. He taught me to love and hate him.
I don't know why I am writing this but it's the truth -
P.S. I love you Daya*
Shreya' diary had ended. The other pages were blank. He became restless. He never knew she was that much involved in him.
'I won't be late this time Shreya. I will apologize and I will win you back. That's a promise' he whispered. He silently left Katie's house and disappeared into the night.
