"Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have - life itself!" by Walter Anderson

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Nervously Dave walks up to the apartment. He isn't sure what to expect from the normally stoic leader, who seems to be close to breaking.

There was a loud knock at the door.

"Come in!" I yell.

"You look like hell," Dave says after opening the door.

"Thanks for that," I reply. "Have you talked to Cruz?"

"Yeah, he's making you take some personal time. I agree," says Dave.

"I know I should, but…" I start to argue.

"No buts!" interrupts Dave. "You saw what this did to the other victims."

"I know, but I need to work Dave," I confess.

"You also need to take care of yourself," Dave lightly admonishes.

"Can we not talk about this right now?" I plead.

"Aaron!" Dave says, disgruntledly.

"I'm fine Dave, really. I just need some time," I assure.

"Alright, I give. But, care to explain why you didn't want your son home last night?" Dave prods.

"Dave!" I exclaim angrily.

"No Aaron. I am not letting this cost you your son," states Dave, forcefully.

"I am not any less committed or try any less hard for my son," I say.

"Everybody has their breaking point," says Dave.

"I guess," I say.

Just then Dave's phone rings.

"David Rossi here…." and Dave starts rambling.

After hanging up the phone Dave speaks up again.

"I'm sorry Hotch, but I've got to go," explains Dave.

"It's fine," I reply emotionlessly.

"Consider talking to someone, and I am still waiting for an answer. I'll stop by later, and you better have a good one," says Dave stoically.

"Is that an order?" I ask sarcastically.

"No, it's a tempered suggestion," states Dave.

"Yeah… tempered suggestion," I say resentfully.

"Consider it," says Dave, as he closes the door behind him.

On his own again the normally resigned man was forced back into his own torturous thoughts. He couldn't understand why Lewis surrendered. He had expected him to do suicide-by-cop; in fact, he counted on it. Now there was a man who knew his deepest fear, one that he always tried to keep hidden. It felt like Foyet all over again.

He knew Dave was right and he should try to open up, and deal with this, for the sake of his son. However, that was easier said than done; especially, when you're in the habit of shutting others out.

AT THE BAU:

"How is he?" Kate asks.

"How did it go?" asks Derek

"He looked like hell," says Dave.

"What do you mean?" asks Derek

"I overheard something Hotch said on the phone last night with Jessica, and I called him on it." states Dave "I just hope I didn't push too hard."

"He left Jack at Jessica's didn't he?" JJ asks, although it was more of a statement.

"He did, and I get why, but I had to try and push him. I refuse to let this job cost him his son," says Dave.

"How do you help someone who doesn't want help though?" Spencer says, finally speaking up.

"Good question," replies Dave.

"Less than 40% of people suffering from PTSD will seek help, and 8% of the population has it at some point in their lives," states Spencer.

"We need get him to open up." says Dave. "Hopefully he'll take our little heart to heart seriously, although he wasn't exactly happy with me, and what I implied in regards to his parenting."

"Well, if it gets him to snap out of his head, then it's worth it!" says JJ "And I think it will."

At this everyone looks at JJ.

"When I was struggling after my kidnapping, and Spence confronted me, what finally got through to me was the fear of being changed drastically and it taking my family from me. I refused to let Askari and Hastings cost me my son," JJ confessed.

"Parental instincts triumph everything," says Kate

"Agreed!" says JJ.

Hotch's POV:

Another day gone and not much sleep; "Damn these nightmares!" Aaron silently cursed to himself. He hated feeling this way, and he felt so confused.

He had gone and picked up Jack, and his son was now sleeping peacefully. He loved it, and wished he could keep the little boy in the next room innocent forever.

He kept thinking about what Dave said earlier that day about his son. "How dare he suggest that I don't put my son first!" he thought to himself; but, as much as he wanted to be mad he knew that Dave was just trying to force his hand in dealing with this. For that, he really appreciated what Dave was trying to do, even if he didn't like in the least bit how he was going about it. A part of him believed that Dave was right though and that filled him with extreme regret. Something had to give here.

After what felt like ages he finally fell back asleep, but not before vowing to do whatever he needed to do to beat this. He would NOT let his job cost him his incredible little boy. He lost his wife because of it, but he would be damned if he let the job destroy the one good thing he had left in his life. His son was everything to him.

He wasn't overly worried about the Psych Eval though. Hell, THEY wrote the questions. He hated them, but he could answer the questions in his sleep. He'd deal with it, and he would do anything to be back with his team.

AT THE BAU:

"Has anyone heard from Hotch?" JJ asks.

"Yeah, Cruz wants him to take a few personal days. I'm Acting Unit Chief." says Derek.

"I'm worried about him." Dave says.

"And what Lewis said?" Derek prodded.

"Aren't you?" Kate shot back.

"Do you think Boss Man'll come back?" asks Penelope.

"I do Baby Girl. I just don't know what he'll look like when he does," says Derek. "He can't take much more!"

"I know," says Dave "Do we know how the suggestions work?"

"How long they last?" asks JJ.

"No idea. Why?" asks Derek.

"I'm just thinking about what Lewis said, and what Hotch told me. Lewis wanted him to shoot us - the first person walking through the door – but he fought it. What if he can't keep fighting it?" says Dave.

"Then we get him the help he needs. He's family" says Derek.

"Anything for family!" says Penelope.

"I'm going over there later," says Dave.

Hotch's POV:

I've been lost in my thoughts for most of the day. With Jack being at school, I have the apartment to myself, and there's not much else to do. Haley always did joke that I was actually married to my job and team.

I'm exhausted, but after the nightmare last night, I don't want to risk sleep, and regardless Dave called to tell me he's planning on coming over later.

"Lewis was right." I think to myself. "Whatever happens to him or me now, he wins. Everything is still so vivid, and I can't get what he tried forcing me to do out of my head. What I almost did. I can't get my dead team out of my head; my worst nightmare. What if I hadn't been able to turn just in time? I'd be sitting in a jail cell, and Dave, who's like my brother, would be dead because of me." Feeling sick, I try to shake that thought away.