A Surpassing Sweetness of Ecstasy
This story comes with a game. It's called, "Figure out what Mutive is plagurizing!" All three of the bits of religious poetry were slightly rewritten from actual religious Judeo-Christian texts. Try to figure out what all three are from (like, if it's the Bible, which book, and if it's not the Bible, who wrote it)! The first one to guess all three gets a prize. Not a good one (I'll do a kmeme fill for you or something equally useless), but, hey, it's something, right?
Anora lay back on the bed, hoping that her new husband would just get it over with. There was something more than a bit undignified about being expected to become a brood mare for yet another unprepared prince, but she supposed that she would make the best of it, as she'd never shirked a duty in her life, and had no desire to start now.
However, rather than a rough hand grabbing at her hips or breast, she felt a tentative touch on her wrist. She sat up as he pulled at her, and found herself looking into a pair of dark golden eyes.
"I thought I told you to just get it over with," she said. She had no desire for this to take longer than absolutely necessary.
His eyes were sad as he gazed at her. "I wanted to make you happy," he said.
The foolish sentiments of virgins. "You'd make me happy by giving me an heir," Anora said. Not that she knew that this was even possible, between the taint in him and her advancing age. But it was her duty to try.
"I'll do my best," Alistair said. He was still looking at her with those limpid eyes. "But can't you at least try to enjoy the process?"
"Alistair," Anora said, turning away. There was no polite way to express how she felt. She lacked the desire to feign enthusiasm as he fumbled at her. She found it distasteful to play the same games she had with Cailan; in telling him how much she adored him, just to watch him demand the same treatment from every other woman he stumbled across. She had consented to do her best to bare him a child. She did not have the ability to give him more. At last she said, "I don't think I can. And what's the point? I can conceive whether I enjoy myself or not."
Alistair took her hand, and held it. His skin was rough and calloused and his grip strong. But the hand was as warm as his amber eyes. "I want you to enjoy it," he said. He seemed to think for a minute, before he smiled. "The Maker does, too."
Anora chuckled. If there was a Maker, he surely had better things to worry about than whether she enjoyed her marital relations. She was about to point this out when Alistair started speaking again.
"The Maker shall meet his people/Like a bridegroom rejoicing in his bride/He shall kiss with the kisses of his mouth/for her lips are sweeter than wine," Alistair said. He seemed to be thinking rather hard about the words, as though remembering a lesson he'd nearly forgotten.
"Very good, Alistair," Anora said. So he'd been raised in the Chantry and could quote bits of the Chant of Light. No matter. "But those lines refer to the Maker returning to the earth if the Chant is sung from all four corners of the world. Not to an actual, physical bridegroom and bride."
Alistair leaned into her, and pressed his lips to hers. He demanded no more from her, and withdrew when she did not respond. He seemed disappointed, but after a second no longer seemed to care. If she were lucky, he'd accept the way things were to be and just get on with it.
He did not. "I dunno," Alistair said. "I kind of like the more literal explanation." He stroked her hand, and she had to admit that the touch felt good against her skin, even if she thought it was foolish of him to go to so much pointless effort.
"It's still a misinterpretation," she said. Although she didn't pull her hand from his.
"There's also, 'He touched me with his golden fire/And I burned with love for the Maker/With pain so great it seemed a fire/A surpassing sweetness of ecstasy.'" Alistair looked at her with pleading eyes. "Surely that wouldn't be in the Chant of Light if the Maker didn't want us to be as happy together as he made Andraste."
Anora shook her head, although she found herself smiling. More than a few literary critiques had likened the ecstasy of Andraste to that of an orgasm, and up until now, she had shared their cynicism. "It was a spiritual touch," she said, although the way Alistair was running his hand over hers distracted her from her words. "It's not supposed to be compared to things on this earthly plane."
"Well, what about, 'I would bring you into my house/Oh you who would instruct me/And cause me to drink the dearest wine/I lap the juices of your sweetest apple'." He winked at her. "Don't tell me that this means anything other than what I think it does."
Anora found herself laughing, despite that she knew she shouldn't. She had wondered a bit at those lines in the Chant of Light, and had always ascribed them to the fact that chantry sisters were, well, female. But still, it was her job to take this seriously and not let Alistair distract her. "I don't think that this means that we have to, you know, do that."
He smiled at that, before quickly looking away and flushing. Despite his expression, his hand never left hers. "Maybe we don't have to get to that quite yet," he said. He blushed even brighter and mumbled, "although I might like to try." It took him a few seconds before he could meet her eyes again. "But I do want to try to make you happy. Why won't you let me?"
So many reasons. That she didn't think she could learn to love again, and even if she could, did not dare risk another broken heart. But as she did not want to argue she said, "It's so much more efficient to just get this all done quickly."
Alistair's face fell, and he gazed at the coverlet for a long moment before he said, "What if we make a deal. You try it my way once?" There was an eagerness to his face that made him hard to deny. "You show me what I need to do to make you happy. And if you don't like it, we'll do it your way."
He raised her hand to his mouth and kissed it. His lips were warm. And while he did nothing other than hold her fingers to his mouth, Anora felt a flush run through her at the touch. "You'll only have to tolerate me making a fool of myself this once." He looked at her again, his golden eyes meeting hers. "Please?"
She supposed that she could do this, as a kind of wedding gift to him, despite that she ought to know better. She leaned in, and answered his question by kissing him full on the lips. His mouth opened under hers, and he responded if not skillfully, at least with enthusiasm. She pulled away.
"Try to follow what I do," she said, before kissing him again. This time he matched her movements, and slowed to meet her. When she pulled away this time, she was breathing heavily.
"I told you I could learn," Alistair said. The playful smile on his lips was reflected in his eyes.
Anora allowed herself to return the expression. "Don't get too cocky yet," she said, taking one of his hands in hers. "The lesson has only just begun."
Alistair's smile at her words lit up his face, and something about his joy was infectious. "What do you want me to do?" he asked.
That was the question. Anora had never expected to have to teach someone how to have sex, so was quite unprepared for this lesson. "A few pointers," she said, partially to buy time, but also in that it seemed like having general rules might be a good way to begin. "Start gently. If I seem to enjoy it you can apply more pressure. Otherwise, you'll risk hurting me." Alistair was watching her with a rapt expression, so she decided to continue along this vein. "Also, watch how I react to what you do. If I like it, continue it. If I don't, try something else."
He seemed to be concentrating so hard that she was half surprised that he wasn't taking notes. "What if I do something wrong?" he asked. He sounded quite nervous, and Anora found it peculiarly refreshing. It was rather enjoyable to be the experienced one, this time.
"I'll let you know if you do something I dislike," she said. She'd never had any trouble voicing an opinion. "Or if you do something that hurts." But it might be best if she didn't give him the opportunity to do much of either. "And I'll take control. This time, at least."
Alistair nodded again, and Anora decided that they might as well start, before she lost her nerve. She leaned into him again, and kissed him, parting his lips with her tongue, and letting her body curve into his. He responded, but did not move his arms, so she reached over and took each of his hands, setting them where she wanted them on the small of her back. When she broke the kiss, she leaned over to whisper to him, "You can touch me, you know."
Anora tried to suppress a giggle in the crook of Alistair's neck as he slid his hands over her back and whispered, "I can?"
Now that she had decided to give into his request, it was not so hard to play along. "Yes, you can," she whispered into his ear, nibbling at it as she moved away and kissed him again on the mouth. "In fact, I'd prefer that you did."
"Oh, good," he said, when she broke the kiss. She thought that it must have been far too soon for Alistair, because a second later, he pressed her close to him, and claimed her lips again. She let him, although after a few seconds withdrew. "Did I do something wrong?" he asked.
Not really, she thought. It was just that she'd never been one for endless kissing and cuddling. "I prefer variation," she said. And to hurry this up, she began undoing the toggles of Alistair's doublet, revealing a well fashioned chest beneath the rich fabric. She had known that he was a warrior, yet still, the masculine beauty of his torso made her lose her train of thought for just a second. She ran her hands inside the cloth before he took her hands and pushed them away.
"You're going to get me too excited," he said. His mouth curved in a smile that was matched by his eyes. Somehow, though, Anora doubted that he was the one who was becoming too excited, for she was already having trouble remembering exactly what it was she was supposed to be doing. "Is there anything I can do for you?" he asked. She could see that his eyes drifted below her neck, eyeing her figure through the heavy layers of clothing she wore.
"Perhaps," she said, returning his smile, and almost feeling herself blush at his examination. "But you're going to have to get me out of this dress, first."
She could have sworn that Alistair's eyes sparkled as he began to undo her corset and, once that was free, began to remove her gown one clasp at a time, while kissing the skin beneath it.
Anora had thought that he would stop, once he'd unbuttoned enough to get the dress off her body. But instead, Alistair continued kissing down her stomach even after the gown lay crumpled on the floor. Somehow, she had thought him so naïve, that she barely figured out what he was intending before he had nearly started.
"How did you know-?" she asked, before the movement of his fingers against her removed the thought from her mind.
Alistair raised his head. "Some of the other men…"
He didn't need to say any more. Anora knew that this was a common enough practice, even if she'd only tolerated it a few times before deciding that it was not to her taste. She started to sit up, in order to explain this.
"Am I doing something wrong?" Alistair asked. He seemed puzzled more than much else.
"No," Anora said. She didn't know how to explain this, really. "I just don't like that."
Alistair looked at her peculiarly. "You seemed to be enjoying it," he said. As though he knew what she liked better than she did.
"It's not something I normally like," she said. While it wasn't exactly unpleasant, she found it uncomfortable to lie back and pretend to enjoy something that she did not particularly care for.
Alistair nodded and seemed to think before saying, "Perhaps you've just never had it done well."
Peculiarly enough, that possibility had never occurred to Anora. Cailan had always seemed so confident that she had assumed that something was wrong with her, rather than his technique. "I suppose…" she said.
Alistair's eyes lit up. "What if I try," he said. "And if you like it, I'll keep it up. And if you don't, you can tell me what you'd rather have me do."
It seemed like a fair bargain, and it was his first time, so she supposed she could be generous. "Okay," Anora said, hoping that she wouldn't regret this decision as she leaned back into the bedding.
Whatever he was doing was not perfect, but it was good enough to make her aggravated that he wasn't quite hitting the right spots. She eventually pushed him away, and decided to take matters into her own hands, so to speak. She caught his hand in hers, and spread her legs.
"You said that you wanted to learn," she said, looking him straight in the eye. "This is what you need to do." She pointed out a few places that had always been particularly sensitive and said, "You should touch here and there. Not so gently, either. I won't break."
She thought he smiled as he reached for her again, placing his hands and mouth exactly where she had indicated. It did not take long for her to find herself writhing on the bed and biting down on her hand to keep from waking the entire palace.
She had to push him away, after a time. It had become too intense, and she had reached her culmination more than once. It took her a few seconds after doing so to become coherent enough again to realize that he was watching her expectantly. He had the same look on his face that her mabari did when she begged for table scraps.
"You did very well," she said. Her father had always told her that people responded best to praise. She leaned over to kiss him, savoring the scent of herself on his lips, before she realized that their marriage was still not yet consummated, and that Alistair was wearing most of his clothing. But these were problems easily solved. Anora pulled his doublet off his body, and began unlacing his breeches. He helped her with the last task, standing to pull them from his body, although he turned away from her as he slid them off his long, muscled legs.
"Turn around," she said. There was something endearing about his shyness. He did, although he held his hands over his groin, not doing a particularly good job at shielding himself from her. The sight made Anora smile. There was something appealing about the knowledge that pleasing her had appealed to him to this degree.
"Lie down on the bed," she said. This would be easiest if she took control. He did so, and reached for a blanket. She pushed his hand away – he was going to have to become used to being naked around her - and straddled his body, his stomach warm between her thighs. He looked strangely vulnerable, lying there beneath her, so she kissed him, and heard him groan as she leaned into him.
Anora shifted to reach for him, just to feel his hips begin to buck against her hand. She gripped him and tried to guide him into her as she felt his hips speed a second before a warm, wet liquid spilled over her hand. She rose, and moved towards her wash basin, cleaning her hand then bringing a damp rag over to her new husband. She handed it to him, and he sat up and hunched away from her as he washed himself.
"I'm sorry," he said. She thought she heard a quaver in his voice.
"About what?" she asked. It was embarrassing true but, "We can try again soon enough." Besides, it was not as though she'd been ignored this entire time, even if what he had done would not give her an heir.
Alistair continued to sit there, his back turned towards her. She thought he seemed upset, so in the interest of her duties to the kingdom, she sat behind him and put a hand on his shoulder. "I'd very much like to try again?" she said, hoping that her words were convincing. She relaxed when Alistair laid a hand on hers and turned to her.
"I'd never tell a beautiful woman no," Alistair said. He slid his hands down her sides and leaned in to kiss her. Anora returned the kiss, and broke it only so that she could push him to the bed. She would take no chances this time.
It did not take very long. He was young and healthy, and she prided herself on a certain degree of skill. It was not long before she was able to guide him into her, and actually gasped aloud at the sensation.
His hands reached around to grasp her hips, and she let him, bracing her hands against his chest and rocking against him. There was something pleasing about how happy he looked. She couldn't remember a time when Cailan had looked so excited, just to be in bed with her. She leaned over to kiss Alistair's neck and whispered into his ear, "I told you this would work."
He shifted so that he could kiss her on the lips, drawing her body to his with clumsy, calloused hands. His body quaked beneath hers, and she broke the kiss with a gasp.
"Did I do something wrong?" he asked, stopping for a second.
She shook her head. No, what he'd done was nearly perfect. She could already feel tension building in her, and decided that it was time for a last lesson. She took his hand in hers, and moved it to her groin, moving his hand in slow circles before letting Alistair figure it out himself.
He did, and continued the motion as she moved above him, whimpering one last time before relaxing to his chest. He continued to tremble, clasping her to himself before he slowed and stilled.
He held her there for a long time, as her heart relaxed and returned to its normal tempo.
"Thank you," he said at last kissing her on the forehead before she rolled off him to settle into bed.
"Of course," she said. She had agreed, after all. And could not say that what he had asked had proven unpleasant.
"Can we do it again?" Alistair asked. "I mean, not now, but some other time?" He sounded nervous, as if truly thought that she would deny him.
But Anora didn't want to admit that quite yet, so instead she turned to him and said, "I think you still have a lot to learn." It was hard to keep from giggling at how his face fell when she said that. It seemed that he actually believed her jest. Anora quickly continued with, "So of course, we'll just have to keep this up until you've completely mastered the lesson."
Alistair laughed at her words, and the laughter was contagious enough that she found herself chuckling too. His arm reached around her, holding her to him, and she let him cradle her body next to his as they talked and shared stories until late in the night.
