"Crap, I'm late!" Jaime said, with a worried look at his watch, "Cersei's going to kill me."

"Late? Brother, you've all but missed the entire thing," Tyrion said chuckling, with a hint of wicked glee in his eyes. Upsetting Cersei was a favorite pastime of his. Of course, Tyrion himself had only been invited because it was Tommen's birthday and the little boy had insisted on his uncles being invited. But of course, Jaime was the only one Cersei would miss. She'd be quite satisfied if Tyrion never showed up.

Tyrion decided since Jaime was late, he'd just go to the party anyway instead of having Jaime drop him at the pub like he'd originally planned. Since the party was almost certainly over by now he would only have to greet Tommen and give him his present. Then he could be on his way away from the wicked witch of westeros. He grinned to himself; that was kind of catchy.

"What's so funny?" Jaime asked, as he stepped on the gas, just before the light turned red. He was more afraid of Cersei's lecture than a ticket. If he made it while the guests were still there, then at least he could make an escape before she could corner him alone to chew him out.

"Oh nothing in particular," Tyrion said, "Just imagining the look on Cersei's face when she see's your gift." A small white lie. Well, not entirely. He wasn't then, but he was now.


Meanwhile, Tommen, being occupied with his three new friends, the kittens, had completely forgotten about his uncles. But his mother certainly hadn't. She paced up and down, muttering to herself. "Jaime I swear if you miss this party there'll be hell to pay," she mumbled under her breath, "I just know that little imp has something to do with th..aaaaaaaaah!"

She stumbled a bit and clutched her hands to her chest as Olenna appeared out of nowhere.

"Why so jumpy Cersei?" Olenna asked, a hint of a smile on her face, as she came up behind her.

Cersei hadn't even heard her approaching. If you'd come up to me like a normal person and not like a thief in the night then maybe I wouldn't be so jumpy Olenna, Cersei thought. Outwardly she put on a smile and said, "Oh it's nothing, just waiting on the last guests to arrive."

"I was under the impression the party was almost over," Olenna remarked, "Why would guests be arriving now? There's already been lunch, cake, presents, and games. Was anything else on the schedule? Or is it perhaps, Robert you're waiting on?"

That sly vixen! How dare she bring up Robert. And today of all days! Cersei's face hardened, "Don't you think you should be leaving now Olenna, after all you're right, the schedule is complete. I should tell everyone the party's over."

"All right all right, no need to pitch a fit, I was only asking. He is the boy's father after all, no matter how much of a messy divorce you might have had," Olenna said, moving fluidly past Cersei to make her way back to the children.

Oh she was cruel that woman. Cersei hated her with every fibre of her being. But there wasn't much she could do about it. She couldn't risk alienating the Tyrells. They had too much standing in society and she was already losing favour in those circles that were good with the Baratheons. Those wretched Starks already caused her countless headaches. The Starks already were on rocky terms with the Lannisters even before her divorce. And to make matters worse Joffrey was now going around with the elder Stark girl, Sansa. It seemed everyone around her made it their mission to make her life miserable.

She made an unladylike grunt and resumed her pacing, in an even fouler mood than before.


Jaime shivered as they were nearing the house. "What's the matter brother," Tyrion asked. "I just got the weirdest chill," Jaime replied.

"Seems like a bad omen to me. You sure you don't just want to drop these at the front door, ring the bell, and leave?" Tyrion queried.

Jaime glanced sideways at him, "You would surely love to attend my funeral wouldn't you?"

Tyrion guffawed, "No, not today, though I dare say I may have to whether I want to or not." They had gone up the gravel path that lead to the back of the house. Cersei was standing there, her arms on her hips, and flames in her eyes. Unnoticed behind her, a small black kitten poked it's head out through the open door, head cocked curiously.

"Uh oh, what do the Targaryens say about situations like this," Tyrion said contemplatively, "Ah, I've got it. I think you just woke the dragon."