Chapter 2. Gravity
Updated: July 27, 2014
Tired eyes fluttered open, trying to dispel the sleep that kept my sight blurred and dazed. Slowly I began to feel the discomfort of the position I had slept in, face pinched as I twisted and steadily crawled out of the tree hole I had taken refuge in. The bushes at the entrance were not as comfortable as I expected either, though it was beneficial in order to cover the entrance so I would not be spotted.
Dust and dirt covered parts of my clothing and skin once I finally heaved myself up to my feet. I stretched and carefully eased my tense muscles, groaning and cursing as I did so. I hadn't wanted to sleep in such a confined place and nor for so long, but it was of great importance. Brown eyes shifted and turned towards the dimmed and flickering lights in the distance. It was the sign of civilization just beyond the end of the forest.
I hadn't known where I had been and so I had taken the chance to wait till dark when I knew the lights would shine and guide the way for me. But if I had known how much closer it was, barely a mile off I would have continued, but the thick lush trees had blocked my sight of any buildings.
Continuing on my path forwards began to find peeks of the small city, finding that the buildings were actually part of the environment itself. I snorted, no wonder I hadn't realize I was close enough. The closer I came towards the city, the more I realized that the city itself was not what I had expected. At night is when the city would come alive but this one seemed to die when the sun disappeared.
The rush of people were thinning out, the shouts and bargaining of items tuned down into a soft hum until there were no more stragglers left. Stores were being closed down and the people dressed in colorful clothing were going home in wait for the next day.
I cocked my head and glanced around, curious to see how the ones still out and about were unusually introverted. Even the small pack of groups kept to their own and didn't even acknowledge the ones whom passed them by, content on just speaking to each other.
Venturing on, I strolled through the streets of this strange and quaint city. I simply kept walking, unsure of what I was searching for. My legs just kept pacing forward, weaving me in and out of streets and ally-ways that I found. There was nothing of interest but I kept searching – perhaps I was seeking another form of shelter, perhaps even a place where the scent of food was seeping into the air like a toxin, or perhaps I was simply lost in thought – entranced by the silence of the city and ears twitching at the tip tap of my boots hitting the ground.
Before I knew it I suddenly found myself stopping at the entrance of a junk yard. It was quite confusing seeing as I hadn't seen an actual car passing by down the streets or even parked in front of buildings or homes, and I had to wonder if this city had gone environmental. Perhaps that was why so many cars were left behind here, left to rust and break into nothing as the years passed by.
Humming I tapped a finger against one of the windows, watching curiously as the glass fluttered underneath my hands. I then grabbed the side-view mirror, turning it every which way before it finally settled on my face. Somehow I was disappointed despite what I knew I would see in the reflection.
It wasn't a human being, despite how I saw and made others see myself. I wasn't the young adult dressed in a dark blue shirt, black shorts and gray stockings with combat boots. I wasn't the young adult with the dark curly hair or wide brown eyes because my reflection was an animal.
A silvery furred wolf with dull gray eyes and that is what looked back at me. I scoffed and I watched with narrowed eyes as the wolf's snout seemed to move, almost as if having snorted with the most annoyed gaze it could muster.
"How typical…" I muttered, leaning away from the mirror and parading deeper into the junk yard. Everything was so unstable and it was barely once or twice that my head cocked to a certain sound. Suddenly a cold droplet tapped my cheek and I squeaked, shivering as I turned up my nose to the dark skies. It was going to rain, and if the scent of the musty air, it would be a hard down pour.
I glanced around cautiously, ears straining to hear a human sound. When none came I nodded. Barely a blink later and I found small human hands were now paws, feminine body shifted and shaped to be that of a wolf. The same silver wolf I had seen staring back at me just moments before.
Shaking about my fur, I stretched leisurely and felt almost content in this four-legged body. I couldn't explain things – I couldn't even understand how it was possible – though it seemed that many wolves had learned a sort of illusion. A long time ago, wolves had not needed a human illusion but one day man had gone crazy. They had accused the wolf of trying to destroy the Earth, to seek for their own Paradise away from the world that everyone knew, a place where only wolves could find.
A new world…. One immerged in Lunar Flowers. I sneered at the thought, almost disgusted by the familiar story I knew so well. Paradise – I couldn't help but despise the word. It was because of Paradise that I had come to where I was now, a lone and isolated she-wolf.
Truthfully, I had not always been that way or really… I had not always been a wolf. Once upon a time, a long time ago when I recalled having been a lanky pre-teen, I had been human. I sprang forward and darted around the area. The very thought of that time brought a bitter-sweet feeling into my heart. It was a time I had regretted, a time I wished I could turn back to with open arms.
But I was foolish and had done an unspeakable thing. I hated the very thought of it – but I knew that this predicament… was my entire fault. I pawed the rusted door of an old school bus, darting inside just as soon as the rain began to pour. I eyed the rain pounding against the window, ears twitching and turning to the sound of the pitter patter thumping against the mustard yellow piece of metal I now called my shelter.
I slunk to the very far back of the bus, curling into a far corner where I could sleep away the troubles of memories. I hated remembering, but when one was without company that was all a living being can do in the lack of human interaction – remember and remember I did. It was even harder to forget when this night seemed to hold a peculiar similarity to that time.
I snorted and hide my face into the fluff of my tail. What a stupid point of my life it was as well, because of my desire I had lost many things: my humanity, my family, my life that made me – me.
"I wish…" I murmured bitterly, chuckling tiredly at the very words escaping past my lips. Is that what not had started it all? "I wonder if they still miss me… I wonder if they remember me… mama… sis… Is she okay?"
My eyes and jaw clamped closed in a tight lock, trembling from the sheer force of trying to swallow back the sob that was lodged deep in my throat. Fuck – why was I getting emotional? Had I not come to terms with things four years ago? Perhaps not if I was struggling to keep myself from crying, if I was struggling to ignore the whimper in my throat, if I was trying to wave away the icy and gut wrenching feeling deep in my chest… perhaps I had not accepted things as much as I had wished.
"PAH!" I cried out, wincing when my voice cracked. "…I don't care… I don't care – things are funnier this way… no rules… no parents nagging… no older sister annoying me – I don't care…"
But deep down in my heart I knew I was wrong. I was wrong because I wanted my life back. I wanted the rules that would keep me safe, I wanted to hear my mother's voice speaking to me warmly, I wanted to have my older sister bursting into my room and trying to speak to me – I wanted it all back.
I couldn't though, because while they may have still been alive, this world was much different from theirs – from what used to be mine. This world I now resided in was dying and I… I was no longer human.
I had been too careless in believing that I didn't want that previous life. But that was too late to fix… wasn't it? My wish had come true and I was now in a world far away from theirs. A world that wasn't even supposed to be real… I chuckled wearily. "I wish… I was in Wolf's Rain… What a stupid wish…"
But then again I don't care.
