Rachel and John stopped at a gas station on their way back from Texas as Rachel pumped the gas she couldn't help but notice John staring at her as she shook her butt not on purpose to walk up to the meter.
"So this Nigel must have been a real winner huh? I mean he swears he loves you, gets you pregnant, then he runs around with other girls because he's not daddy material" John said sipping a Big Gulp as tears formed under Rachel's eyes finally seeing that she had the poorest taste in men.
"So what are you saying you'd stay if the shoe was on the other foot? I mean guys are pigs and you are no different" Rachel said slamming the gas tank closed and going inside to pay for the gas John glad they were almost to the treehouse but hated Nigel with a passion for what he did to Rachel.
Rachel walked up to the driver's side with napkins dabbing her eyes mascara staining the napkins as John gulped feeling bad for hurting Rachel's feelings as he reached out to touch her but she cringed and pushed her body back not wanting to be touched.
"I'm sorry I didn't know how much Nigel meant to you girl. Tell you what let's start over hi I'm John Ward the insert foot in mouth here guy".
Rachel giggled through her tears and looked down at him as he handed her his drink an act she never saw coming.
"Well go on chug it I didn't poison it I promise. I mean haven't you ever been given anything from a boyfriend before?"
"Nigel gave me chicken pox once when we were little but other than that no. Just to clear things up we're not dating I'm just really thirsty and hungry so what do you say to Taco Bell? it's right across from the treehouse"
"I say let's dig in I'm starving too and a call from the border might be just what the doctor ordered. So call the troops and have them meet us there.
"Nah I'll get their orders and bring it back in fact we should get back too we have a lot of decorating to do the KND prom is tomorrow and we need to be in top form".
John turned the radio on as Corey Hart's Sunglasses at night blared and Rachel giggled hysterically having the perfect chorus.
"Nigel wears his sunglasses at nigh
So he can so he can
Hide the black eyes his exes all gave him
Nigel wears his sunglasses at night
So he can so he can
Hide the tears that fall from his cheating eyes" Rachel sang giggling as John laughed along with her.
"Well here we are KND treehouse so let's get inside get everybody's orders and then we can get food and get you and the other new agents settled".
Rachel walked inside her mom and dad also there dressed up for date night and Rachel knew that meant one thing.
"OK I'll watch him but let him know I'm the boss no repeats from last time he almost blew up the garage and I get blamed for it".
"Harvey Rachel's in charge tonight and that means you listen to everything she says. If she wants Nigel here to make out with her then so be it" Mrs. Mckenzie said not knowing Rachel's relationship status on Facebook yet.
"We broke up because Nigel thinks kissing other girls is acceptable mom and don't be sad, or mad, or jealous, or any other bad emotion Nigel moved on with Abby Lincoln and if he hurts her I'm going to be a woman scorned not that I'm not scorned already".
Mrs. Mckenzie hugged Rachel as Mr. Mckenzie did the same and then they walked off leaving Harvey with Lee, Joey, Tommy, Mushi, and Sonya.
"Alright Tikes do what you want here but no open flame, no driving cars into mailboxes, and absolutely positively no destruction of KND property".
The kids saluted Rachel as she walked off to see how the others were adjusting to life in the treehouse and she came across Abby bawling and looking through more texts on Nigel's phone.
"He's- targeting- Fanny- next- I- mean- she- shoots- him- down- every- time- but- he's- calling- her- his- crown- jewel- and- she's- the- last- girl- he- ever- wants- to- be- with- like- the- time- we- had- wasn't- special" Abby bawled and collapsed into Rachel's arms as Rachel just patted her shoulders.
"Abby welcome to the Nigel Uno Tore My Heart To Pieces Bit By Bit Club. I'm Rachel Mckenzie Founder and president".
Abby handed Rachel the phone as Rachel scanned it and her eyebrows furrowed as she rushed off Abby close behind hoping to save Fanny from falling for Nigel Uno's lies.
"Ra-chel I-'m sorry th-at I ever f-ell for h-im I was an id-iot and I just wish you'd for-give me for taking him even though he was dating y-ou".
"Abs you're my friend and I will always forgive you because as the saying goes hoes before bros or something like that".
"It's bros before hoes Rachel but I get the reference and I think we should hurry because our ex works faster than the speed of light".
Rachel and Abby stormed into Fanny's room where she was tearing through her closet on the phone with her mom.
"I don't see why I have to meet him mom I mean I don't love him you do. Yes mom of course I want to see you happy but couldn't you become a lesbian and meet a nice girl I hate all guys!" Fanny screamed as Rachel and Abby searched the room for any signs of Nigel.
"Mom it's not that I don't want to meet him it's that I think maybe me meeting him should be like a 100th date thing you know like SURPRISE I have a daughter that hates all men".
Rachel found a metal baseball bat as Abby grabbed a BB gun both of them ready to take on the monster that was Nigel Uno.
"Alright that's fine Mini Golf and Taco Bell sounds terrific but I'm bringing company to keep me sane if you don't mind".
On the other end of the phone was an agonized sigh and Fanny knew she had to do this alone as she found what she was looking for an all-black wardrobe like a funeral.
"Fanny aren't you being a little overdramatic? I mean it's putt putt golf and dinner not a funeral. I wish I could get in your head sometimes" Rachel said swinging her bat making a whistling sound from the air it hit.
"This is a funeral Rachel my mom the last great Irish woman who taught me guys were idiots is dating and if you ever saw this guy's picture he's not a looker he looks like a whino that doesn't own a bar of soap".
"Fanny girl you should watch yourself Nigel left me and now he's after you and I hope you can defend yourself against his charms" Abby sniffled aiming the BB gun at Fanny's door ready to shoot the next thing that walks through the door.
"Guys Nigel Uno has no game he's a flea bitten dog just whimpering and pawing at the door trying to get inside so he can get scratched behind the ears".
Fanny's bedroom door opened as Fanny hid the girls in her closet and Nigel walked in pretending to cry as Fanny shut the door and grabbed him.
"I'm not another girl on your texting list Nigel Uno I know what you do to those girls I mean poor Rachel and Abby".
"Ok I admit my track record with girls is bad Fullbright but you did say once or twice that you loved my accent and my golden heart" Nigel said as Rachel and Abby whispered oh brother under their breath as Nigel went in for a kiss a fist meeting his head Deidra shaking her hand in pain.
"Ouch damn why does nobody ever say how much it hurts to punch a person? Fullbright how do you deal with hurt knuckles from punching?" Deidra asked standing over Nigel Rachel with her bat, Abby with her BB gun, and Fanny with a taser all standing over Nigel.
"Nigel Uno I am a woman scorned thanks to you but these three I'm sure will make me feel better especially Fanny my BFF" Rachel said swinging her bat and hitting Nigel between the legs Deidra wincing knowing how much that hurts boys.
"Well I'd love to see you make babies now Nigel. Be a man and take care of your kids and maybe I wouldn't have done that".
"Yea and I wouldn't have done this you cheating man whore. I mean geez you had it all with Rachel then you threw it away to be with me" Abby said shooting Nigel in the same place Rachel hit him as he screamed in pain.
"And last of course is me the Irish Bulldog as you call me but their English Bulldogs not Irish so anywhozil I hope you're ready for some electricity" Fanny said shocking Nigel in the same place he was hit as he screeched in pain and shook.
"Now everybody beat it I have a funeral/date to attend and I hope this Bill Deutreve can handle the first date extraordinaire me".
The three girls dragged Nigel out as a black gown with veil fell over Fanny and she put black high heels on ready to ruin yet another date of her mom's not knowing how determined Bill was to stay with Fanny's mom for a reason.
Meanwhile Connie and Bobby were exploring an attic of the treehouse Joseph off somewhere worshiping Kuki and they found a box marked Sector F The Lost Sector.
"Bobby I'm glad I could get you alone because there's a lot we have to talk about and I was hoping Joseph would-" Connie began but the hatch door to the attic opened and Joseph walked up grumbling Stupid Aussie under his breath.
"Ughhhhhhhhhhh excellent timing as always Joseph I mean you're a third wheel can't you see that? Don't you have a pop princess to go gaga over like you're a twelve year old girl?"
Bobby ignoring the fight opened the box and he found a tape player playing Country Roads Take Me Home by John Denver and pictures tumbled out all showing Dale, Hank, Bill, Boomhauer, Peggy, Kahn, Minh, Deidra, Mr. Uno, and Mrs. Uno fighting alongside other people.
"Whoaaaaaaa you guys have got to see this it's our parents they were operatives too and they looked like they were really good. I wonder why they quit?" Bobby asked himself as Joseph was mimicking Connie just making her madder.
"YOU ARE SO CHILDISH JOSEPH DRIBBLE AND I'M STARTING TO WONDER WHY BOBBY AND I EVEN PUT UP WITH YOU!"
"Hey look Bobby found old timey pictures all black and white and stuff let's see what he found and maybe you could stop calling me a twelve year old girl just because Kuki Sanban happens to be my obsession" Joseph said leafing through the pictures as Fanny walked into the attic finding the agents.
"Ok you weren't supposed to see those but since you did I can say that yes your parents were agents and they were in the first ever adult sector F and they still are but we only call them if we really need them".
Rachel, Abby, and Deidra walked up to the attic Fanny seeing the words Bill Deutreve written on a picture.
"Bill Deutreve? That's the jerk my mom's dating and he's here with a woman named Lenore who I heard is now his ex-wife but then again we don't need Lenore to resurrect Sector F which is what we're doing here with you kids" Fanny said grabbing a black handbag and walking off for her date with Sector F.
"Come on kids there's better things to do than looking through boxes in a dusty attic like maybe getting to know other agents or eating and drinking's always good" Deidra said leading all the kids out and closing the door.
The kids walked to their rooms Connie closing Bobbie's door and locking it finally getting him alone which is what she always wanted since they broke up long ago.
"Thank God he's probably caught a scent of the pop princess's perfume or something. Anyway Bobby Chane and I aren't working out see he's a jerk only thinking about himself and I left him today" Connie said without taking a breath.
"Look Connie I'm a walrus arf, arf, arf I'm a walrus and your friends with one" Bobby said sticking pencils up his nose and in spaces between the teeth he had yanked out by a dentist.
"Bobby did you hear me I said I broke up with Chane. Isn't there something else you'd rather be doing than playing make believe?"
Bobby shook his head no and plopped onto his bed Connie at the end of her rope with Bobby but she took a deep breath and pinned Bobby to his bed French kissing him their tongues caressing each other's and Connie slowly pulled away her eyes full of love gazing into Bobby's.
"When you're ready to be boyfriend and girlfriend again come find me because as I said Chane is long gone but another guy just may scoop me up".
Connie walked off swinging her hips back and forth as Bobby yanked the pencils from his nose drawing blood then he ran after Connie who found Kuki and Wally in the living room watching Stranger Things Season 1.
"Kooks your fanboy's back and I thought this was a date just for us not your fan club also. I mean doesn't lost puppy have some friends somewhere?" Wally asked as Joseph sniffed in Kuki's perfume mixed with buttered popcorn.
"Dude Wally's right don't you have friends to chill with? I go out of town tomorrow Taylor Swift and David Cassidy opening for me so tonight's Wally and me night no Joseph's allowed" Kuki said leading Wally to her room and locking the door the glow from her TV being the only light in the room.
"I think I'm wearing her down so guys what have you been up to and why is there brown gunk all over your lips Bobby?" Joseph asked as Bobby pulled him aside and Connie reapplied her lipstick.
"Joseph Connie and I are back together and Connie thinks you two should try getting along better but no Frenching her like you did last time I asked you guys to try being friends" Bobby said as Joseph nodded and gave a thumbs up to him and Connie.
"You know he really missed you Connie once you left it was I wonder what Connie's doing will Connie like this movie or show yada yada yada".
"Good because I missed him too and Chane will never be the love of my life Bobby Hill will even if his friend is a bit of a jerk".
Joseph threw his arms around Connie and Bobby's shoulders the three of them looking to hunt down the kitchen for food.
Fanny sped into the putt putt course parking lot just as her mom and Bill were getting there and her mom groaned seeing Fanny's wardrobe for the evening.
"Fanny Abigail why are you wearing the same dress you wore to your great grandmother's funeral? I mean I said casual not FUN-ER-AL!" Mrs. Fullbright yelled to Fanny her stomach looking a little bigger than weeks before.
"Mom I will wear what I want tonight I'm just so honored to be in the prescience of a great man from sector F Bill Deutreve Fanny Fullbright Sector V at your service. Now what does everyone say to some mini golf?" Fanny asked grabbing a club and walking off Bill and Mrs. Fullbright joining her.
"So Fanny your mom tells me that you're an agent and you also enjoy Rainbow Monkeys so I went and got you one I hope you like" Bill said pulling out a 1st edition Rainbow Monkey and Fanny's jaw hung open in surprise at it.
"That's Princess Jada the rarest Rainbow Monkey ever. This thing is so rare my friend Kuki who has every Rainbow Monkey can't find this one to complete her collection".
"Well I'm glad you like it now let's finish up and have dinner your mother and I have things we'd like to discuss with you".
Fanny sunk hole in one after hole in one and before they knew it the game was over and they sat at a table at Taco Bell.
"OK Fanny this is a long time coming but I was so afraid to tell you because I know how you react to things sometimes".
"Mother you two aren't going to elope are you? Because this is only your first date isn't eloping like a fifteenth date thing?"
"No we're not eloping I'm afraid it's a little, teeny, tiny, miniscule, smaller but also bigger problem than that Fanny".
Fanny sipped her Wild Cherry Pepsi and munched her food as her mom and Bill whispered to each other and then they both held big smiles staring at Fanny.
"Fanny what your mom means to say is that we're pregnant I mean not me but she is and I'm the father. Which means you're going to be a big sister" Bill said excitedly as Fanny stouted and her mom knew that stout well.
"Fanny aren't you excited Bill and I are having a baby and you're going to be a big sister. Fanny Honey say something" Fanny's mother said as she ran off bawling hating Bill because he was her replacement dad and her only dad walked out on her and her mom years ago never to be heard from again.
"Bill I love you so much sweetie but I told you she wasn't ready for this she's not the I want to be a big sister type she's more like the I love being the only child type".
Bill and Mrs. Fullbright cleared the table and drove off for the Fullbright house Fanny speeding to the treehouse her sanctuary from the broken home she was raised in.
"Ok 1-2-3 gooooooooooooooooo" Mushi yelled as eggs cracked all over Fanny and all the kids pointed at Harvey who eeped at the egg monster that was Fanny.
"Ughhhhhhhhhhh don't you dorks have a babysitter if not I'll literally sit on you until your parents or siblings come to save you".
Rachel dashed into the living room and had to hold back a smile seeing a dozen eggs all over Fanny and again all the kids pointed at Harvey who had a giant slingshot in front of him.
"Kids go get ready for your sleepover and you still need to tell me what you want from Walmart and Taco Bell" Rachel said as the kids dashed off seeing Fanny's brows furrow and they knew that meant trouble.
Fanny grabbed a towel and toweled herself off then stalked off Rachel nipping at her heels seeing how angry her friend was.
"Fan I know you're the hush, hush type of girl but maybe if you tell me how you feel we can work it out together sleepover pal".
"Do- you- know- why- my- mom- wanted- me- there- alone- tonight? She- wanted- to- tell- me- Bill- Deutreve- her- new- obsession- GOT- HER- PREGNANT!" Fanny screamed angry tears rolling from her eyes.
"Honey we talked about this and maybe being a big sister won't be so bad. I mean yea Harvey hates being touched, kissed, hugged, or any other germ infested thing but that doesn't mean I don't lo-li- tolerate him".
Fanny giggled through her tears as Rachel laughed with her and she had a great idea for a lonely agent in need of sleepover pals.
"Fanny I'm signing you up for the Big Sister Little Sister program in KND and that may help you when the big day comes. See Sonya Roberts doesn't have friends here yet and she's been here for a while so I think Big Sister Fanny should introduce her to the other kids in Kids Next Door".
Fanny walked into the cafeteria finding Sonya a little girl in yellow pigtails sitting alone reading A Wrinkle In Time as Rachel watched from the shadows.
"Hey Sonya I don't think we uhh ever uhh been umm introduced or whatever I'm Fanny Fullbright Numbuh 86 and you are Sonya Numbuh 12 so now that we know each other let's chit chat".
Sonya bobbed her head singing along to Taylor Swift as Fanny her anger being tested pushed it deep into the pit of her stomach like Rachel taught her and motioned for Sonya to take out her headphones.
"Ohh- uhh- I'm- sorry- Numbuh- 86- I- didn't- know- I- had- company- I- was- just- hanging- out- T- Swifting- and- reading" Sonya whispered in her shy voice.
"It's fine Sonya I'm here because you signed up for a Little Brother Little Sister program to get one and in I walk your Big KND sister".
Sonya put her book down excitement flooding in her eyes as Fanny not being able to stop it smiled at her little KND sister as Sonya grabbed her stuff and led Fanny to her room a shrine to Moana Sonya's favorite movie.
"So first things first Sonya why aren't you hanging with Mushi and the rest of the kid agents your age? I mean they must have a sleepover every other weekend".
"Every weekend actually but I'm never invited because Harvey Mckenzie said I smell like fish and Mushi Sanban labeled me an Outcast in the KND and on Facebook".
Fanny heard enough as she grabbed Sonya's hand and led her down the halls of the KND on the search for Harvey Rachel still in the shadows also looking for him.
"Sonya you do not smell like fish and as for being an outcast outcasts are cool I mean Wyldstyle, Violet Parr, Moana, me we were all outcasts and we turned out fine".
Harvey was in the kitchen scrubbing his hands thoroughly as Fanny, Sonya, and from the shadows Rachel marched up to him.
"Harvey just the germophobe I was looking for I would like you to meet Sonya my new big sister and she informed me that you think she has a particular smell" Fanny said as Connie needing a Bobby and Joseph break strolled into the kitchen.
"Harvey you know those gloves you wear to protect yourself from germs well their a security blanket and mom and dad always said security blankets need to one day disappear like Roary my life sized tiger" Rachel said grabbing yellow rubber gloves and throwing them to Fanny.
"Hmmmmmmm Sone you're a new little sister to me so you tell me what to do with them? I mean he hurt your feelings after all".
Sonya licked the gloves her saliva all over them then slapped them into Harvey's hands as he had a shocked look on his face.
"Now if you get cooties you'll know who gave them to you and FYI I'm just getting over the flu so good luck with that" Sonya said as Mushi walked into the kitchen coughing outcast into her hands as Connie grabbed Mushi hating the name outcast because she was one thanks to her parents.
"You apologize to that girl now purple sweater wearing wacko and then invite her to your sleepover that I know you're having if you don't invite her I'll throw her one of her own sleepovers better than yours because teenagers will be there" Connie said as Mushi gulped then saw Kuki walk up.
"My big sister says not to play rough with me right Kuki? Kuki? Kuki? Kuki? Kuki I know you hear me now tell this girl to stop playing rough" Mushi said as Kuki whistled as if Mushi wasn't there.
"Well we're waiting for that apology Purple and then maybe an invite to your sleepover tonight. She's at least getting an I'm sorry from you".
"Fine I'm sorry I labeled you an Outcast Sonya even though the dirty complexion, holes in the shoes, oily hair, no makeup, and patchy clothes speak for themselves".
Connie threw Mushi to the floor as Sonya stood over Mushi a stout on her face as she threw a friendship bracelet and Anklet Mushi once made for her on top of Mushi.
"Maybe it's time I started hanging out with the outcasts in the treehouse Lee, Tommy, Joey, Fanny, and whatever this girl's name is".
"It's Connie and my last name's hard to pronounce so you can just call me Connie and friend if you like kid. I'm sure you'll tell me your name in due time".
"It's Sonya Roberts and until I realized Fanny here wanted to be my big sister I was the girl sitting alone at lunch reading fantasy novels like Harry Potter books, and A Wrinkle In Time".
"That's another thing that makes her outcasty she reads instead of having fun with the other girls at recess. Her recess is under the shade of a maple tree reading like a dummy".
"Whatever at least I'll have real teens at my sleepover who will hopefully show me how to dress, show me how to wear makeup, introduce me to cool music, and we can have a lifelong bond I hope" Sonya said as Kuki walked up ruffling Sonya's hair and handing her tickets to her next concert.
"I go out of town soon to tour and those tix you hold are so valuable because not only will I be there but so will Taylor Swift and a singer you probably never heard of named David Cassidy. Oh by the way whoever sleeps at Mushi's sleepover better have a gasmask and a big towel because she farts in her sleep and wets the bed" Kuki said as Mushi blushed in embarrassment and ran off.
"Come on fellow outcast let's get some food in you, go clothes shopping, get you some makeup, and then talk about the crushes or boyfriends we have" Fanny said glad she had Sonya as a backup little sister.
Well that's it for now and again this is a group effort so thanks to my fan Deidra also for all her ideas and some of my own also so R&R and I'll write more soon. PS. I don't own Sunglasses At Night Corey Hart does.
